Your “Stupid Sexy NFC South!” Wild Card Playoff Game Open Thread

Well, we’re three down and only one more to go. I hope your belly is full of the things that you like and that you’ve hunkered down for the day. Not sure about you guys out there but the wind is howling and growling up here, blowing the darn snow everywhere.  A source in New Orleans has told me that the weather inside The Rich Fella’s Car Dome is hunky and dory, if you can believe it. So how will this thingy in front of our eyeballs play out? Let’s go…TO THE GAME!

Carolina/New Orleans:

There’s a 65% chance that this is the last time Jerry Richardson can look down on his team, metaphorically and physically. I guess I have to back up a bit here. The Saints have taken both tilts from the Panthers this year by a combined 31 points. What you’ll be hearing pre-game is that IT’S SO FREAKING HARD to beat a team three times in a season. Fact is, 65% of the time the winning team that has won before will end up being the winning team again and the losing team will be the same. Got that? No? Good.

Best RB in the league:

His name is Ingram Kamara and he’s run at a 4.7 ypc clip all season long. You should try and pick him up early in your fantasy draft next year.

It’s a fine line…:

As the Wallenda’s will no doubt tell you, ‘balance’ is of the utmost importance. Mr. Brees can state matter-of-factly that an adequate running game will cause you to drop to the ground behind the line of scrimmage only 20 times in 2017. That’s a 3% sack rate and the fewest times he’s been down in ten years. His 270 yards passing per game is the first time he’s been below 300 in six years.

My Hot Takeaway:

The Saints ain’t gonna lose this one.

Roar down below, mes petits tigres.

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SonOfSpam

No way. Best Foreign Language Film winner is a thick-eyebrowed guy with a ponytail.

Spur

i bet he smells like flowers.

SonOfSpam

He smells of thin cigarettes, body odor, and condescension.

ballsofsteelandfury

This NFC Wild Card live blog turned until a Golden Globes live blog so gradually I didn’t even notice.

SonOfSpam

We can only say “Cam is a thug” so many times.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450

Right in the Kucherov

SonOfSpam

Wheeling out 101 year old Kirk Douglas seems unnecessary.

But his daughter-in-law Catherine Zeta-Jones-Drew is still amazing.

Jeez, Kirk has gone full Final Year Dick Clark from a speaking standpoint.

Spur

dude is more coherent than the President

SonOfSpam

Yes, and Don Jr. has never gotten mouth cancer from cunnilingus.

Unsurprised

Like he’s ever gone down on a woman. I doubt he even knows what a vagina looks like. He just sticks his dick out of his zipper and the whores do all the work.

SonOfSpam

I like Allison Janney. She does “cunty” really well and just got an award for it, so good for her.

Spur

she was great in Private Parts

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I don’t know how any of you can hear “Golden Globes” and not think of Blanche Devereaux.

SonOfSpam

“Dear Matt, How can I get my girl to let me get Mudbound?”

BrettFavresColonoscopy

First world problem, but a flight taking off late because of moving airline employees from one seat to another seems pretty fucking stupid to me.

SonOfSpam

Coco won for Best Animated Picture, while Cocoa Pebbles won for Andy Reid’s Breakfast Tomorrow.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Sprinkled with tears of shame or just his usual bacon hunks?

SonOfSpam

He seems like a pretty shame-free guy. Prolly just bacon.

LemonJello

Is that first breakfast? That gives him energy to get to the kitchen so he can fuel up to get to Cracker Barrel?

Unsurprised

I kind of miss Cracker Barrel. I haven’t been to one since I moved to Oregon.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Rumblings in Bears-world says Pace is leaning toward DeFilippo with Shurmur high on the list and Matt Nagy a real candidate.

Col. Duke LaCross

I wish I had any opinion other than “they only have one direction they can go.” They need to back up the Brinks truck to Fangio’s house though to retain his ass as DC.

makeitsnowondem

THE GOLDEN GLOBE GOES TO TOMMY WISEAU

Col. Duke LaCross

He All-American guy!

SonOfSpam

He was totally gonna give a 20 minute speech. Franco shoulda let him.

Spur

Franco earned that award

rockingdog

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Spur

WTF? my name is Mark. Did you know that?

Senor Weaselo

Everyone’s name here is Mark. Even Dok. ESPECIALLY Dok.

Gratliff

Is that an award for being a terrible actor with no emotional depth?

Spur

Shape of Water aka fucking the Sturgeon

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I finished We at the recommendation of one of you. Depressing and entertaining.

Col. Duke LaCross

Wiseau!

Wakezilla

A female Maoist from the People’s Army Nepal, rocking a Britney Spears t-shirt. She looks stronger than yesterday.

https://mobile.twitter.com/priyavprabhakar/status/949535264203988992/photo/1

herodotus450

Gives a whole new meaning to “Im A Slave 4 U”

Spur

Mind Fuck winner

Spur

Sam Rockwell should be in more films.

Spur

play her out

herodotus450

If I was a hockey coach, I would personally murder every player who ever goes offside on a zone entry rush.

Gratliff

I get irrationally angry when teams successfully get a goal waived on a challenge because of a missed offsides call.

herodotus450

I don’t think I’ve actually seen that happen yet this year. They changed the offside rule so the puck carrier basically can’t be offside, and the punishment for a wrong challenge seem to have reduced the challenges.

Gratliff

Yeah, it’s not as common this year. I’m also not overly keen on penalizing a team for thinking a ref fucked up in a league that employs Tim Peel.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I actually wanted the Saints to win, but that ending pissed me off.

Senor Weaselo

I guess it caused you a Saints’ Row.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6YMPAH67f4o

Gratliff

AGDQ has been drastically better than the footballs today, even with the anime nazis getting mad the chat moderators won’t let them openly attack the trans gamers this year.

Gatoraids

Trihex is hosting it at hischat is moderated but not too oppressive. Liked the Hollow Knight run just cuz Hollow Knight

Gratliff

Twitch chat is a tirefire on AGDQ. Nothing but meme spam and edgelords insulting runners. I don’t know how anyone can enjoy participating, let alone reading it.

Petronel

Only ever bothered with it when the TAS folks were doing things with it as part of their demo anyway.

Senor Weaselo

But did they find the Helix Fossil?

Spur

Gal Gadot. I would like to climb up that

Gratliff

Hopefully, you aren’t one of those pesky humanitarians Israel banned from entering.

Spur

haha. My sister and her husband are in Rome for school. The locals think my sister is Brazilian and her husband a middle eastern. The locals don’t know what a Tejano or Samoan are.

Gratliff

Well, that’s easy, enough. Tejano is Mexican John Cena, and a Samoan is an ex, current, or future WWE star/NFL lineman.

Spur

explain that to an I Tie

...

I went to take a shit and the Simpsons are on my TV and not a single funny thing has happened.

Senor Weaselo

Well watching modern Simpsons is your first problem!

Spur

Zombie Simpsons

Spur

So seedy there was two James Franco. nice

Col. Duke LaCross

Pretty solid from Meyers so far.

Spur

Kerry Washington can get it.

...

Is this the first time one team has beaten another three times in a single season?

Spur

i think the Giants or was it Eagles that swept the Cowboys a few years ago.

...

lol the Steelers have done it to the Browns twice

WCS

Stillers also did to the Ratbirds in 2010.

Brick Meathook

I want a gold mouthpiece like that

Spur

Live Blog the Golden Globes. See who makes a statement on casting couch?

Brick Meathook

Quentin Tarantino: “Say what you will, but sucking Harvey Weinstein’s dick was the best career move I ever made.”

Doktor Zymm

And it’s only 5 pm….what the fuck NFL?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I think you mean what the fuck west coast

King Hippo

DFO should be allowed to call a Wild Card game next year, fuck I will even get into shape for that. I hate my voice though, somone else has to be lead ref.

Senor Weaselo

Only if before the ref announces the penalty they get to call out “HAIL BLEERGH!”

Doktor Zymm

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King Hippo

Minny/NO will be a better matchup, perhaps the refs had…uh…directive

Spur

It’s down to the Viks, Titans and Jags for teams to cheer for.

...

Ugh. We’re fucked.

King Hippo

Vikes/Jaguras will be the Superb Owl. You heard it here FIRST!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yinzburgh.
Otherwise…yes.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Don’t worry, the Patriots will certainly lose, they are in disarray. Don’t you read ESPN?

...

The NFL is basically unenjoyable tripe, so I just assume the Patriots will win everything.

herodotus450

This might be the perfect analogy for the NFL.
“Hey Mr. Gooddell, my crazy friend says the NFL is boring and dangerous to it’s own players and also is a business first, entertainment second, objective sports competition third. Is he right?”
“Billy, your friend is a Grade A Moran.”

fleshwound_NPG

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Gatoraids

I CALL THESE SAINTS THE CRYING GAME CUZ ALWAYS SUPRISED WHEN THE D COMES OUT

Spur

BOO BOO

Viva La Tabula Raza

Well, I always have maintained that the best games are the ones where you don’t know who is going to win until the last play. Pretty good one there…

King Hippo

Damn, why couldn’t the ball pop out and give me FUMBRE SIX for the palpably unfair cover? Eh, I bet the over 47.5 heavier anyhoo

Spur

over. that was shitty play calling. i hope the Viks break Brees’s arm.

fleshwound_NPG

Tyran in a good mood now, Saints win.

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Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Refs are awful. Get out, old fucks.

Spur

Funchess had it!

fleshwound_NPG

If the DB didn’t lock with the WR that’s an INT, easy

King Hippo

effective, uncalled OPI. I’d go to Funchess again

King Hippo

I mean, all the crunk/pilled out assholes here knew it

SonOfSpam

I resent that. I am NOT crunk.

King Hippo

they almost forgot the fookin’ runoff

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I was not aware that halfway between the hash and the numbers is still “in the pocket”.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Some labias are huge

King Hippo

tiny white dude ain’t block fer shit