Your “In Which We Learn That Beating The Falcons is a Foles’ Errand” NFC Playoff Game Open Thread

A hale and hearty “Hullo!” to all my fellow pigskin huffers. Boy, did you ever hunker down to the funkiest spot on the net for the football watching. Say, here’s a trivia query: “When was the last time the overall #1 seed was a home dog?” No googling! If memory serves, you’d have to all the way back to 1935 or so when the Camden Meat Maulers hosted the Decataur Drooling Horde. What happened was that the Horde’s general manager up and snuck Notre Dame’s recently-graduated triple threat quarterback Sonny “The Ukrainian Tornado” Poroshenko onto the roster thus ensuring the victory. Apparentlly, the story goes, Commissioner Judge And Jury Kenesaw Mountain Landis (his billfold bursting at the seams with a very recent infusion of sawbucks) saw nothing wrong with this cheeky maneuver. The rest we’re all very much aware of-meat was mauled, hordes drooled, the body count totaled 3 and the final 0-0 score left the crowd chanting (for the very first time) “GO, METEOR!”. Will events unfold in a similar matter today? For the answers we must go… TO THE GAME!

Atlanta/Philadelphia:

She’s gonna be a cold one for the players today-it’ll be about 20 degrees with the windchill or what Canadians would call “a day at the beach’.

Injuries:

Yeah, there’ll be a few.

Good King Wentz Is Lost:

The before-amentioned Nick Foles has quite a bit on his plate today. Them Eagles finished up 13-3 but their brand new-ish starting qb finished up 23 for 49 in their last two tilts. (That 2013 Pro Bowl appearance back in ’13 seems like a two careers ago) On third downs over that two game stretch the news doesn’t get any better-he’s 1 of 17 passing on third downs. Did I mention that he’s fumbled in each of his last three starts?

Keep An Eye Out For:

The Falcons D, per the last eight weeks of the season is a top 5 unit overall. Most impressive has been 2nd year lb Deion Jones. He’s the one that intercepted Brees in spectacular fashion to save the Falcons playoff hopes and also batted down a potential TD score while shadowing Sammy Watkins in the end zone.

My Hot Takeaway:

It’ll take some time for each offense to get going so the first one to 20 wins. Falcons over Eagles 20-13.

I’m done but you’re just getting started-“GO GO GADGET FINGERS!”

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Horatio Cornblower

Tony Dungy didn’t like that call because it only had one real option for Ryan, and when that failed Ryan was left hanging.

ballsofsteelandfury

Banner? Banner

Horatio Cornblower

Time to take a shower and load on beer for the Titans victory pahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah-breathe-hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha-breathe-hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhnnnnnngggghhhhhh
/forget to breathe, die

bk109

How.. just .. HOW.. srsly.. the fuck just happened.. How did Nick Foles beat Matt Ryan?!

rockingdog

Where is da patiots Tits thread?

rockingdog

Gotta love the eagles guy wearing the dog mask!
Woof woof Win!

Spur

time for some Erotic asphyxiation football

...

Alright. Time to get really angry at the Patriots.

Fronkenshteen

/punches self repeatedly in crotch.

Horatio Cornblower

Way ahead of you.

Wakezilla

Who has two thumbs, predicted the game would be dog shit and they wouldn’t get the under? This guy!

#DFOInsidersdoitbetter

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King Hippo

that’s cause we’re not distracted by things like sex and the outside world

/ok, fuck you, just me

Horatio Cornblower

That last series was just further proof that you can be dumb as a bag of fucking hammers and, if you can play football, BC will let you in and carry your ass for 3-4 years.

See also: Chmura, Mark; Romanowski, Bill

LemonJello

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I haven’t seen such a limp finish since…um…a while ago.

JustStopDude

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Dick E. Phuck

Nick Foles is definitely gonna die next week.

Wakezilla

Oh yeah.

Fronkenshteen

Attaboy! to all the GAMBLOR winners.

rockingdog

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Claymaker

GRADY JARRETT I CALL THIS GUY TAKATA AIRBAG BECAUSE HE FUCKS UP AND RUINS ANY SHOT AT SAFETY.

Dick E. Phuck

+1 broken neck

King Hippo

Litre’s prophecy, partially fulfilled

Brick Meathook

HA HA HA ATLANTA SUCKS

...

/clears throat

MY FOLES HAVE BEEN FILLED

Horatio Cornblower

“My foals have been filled”
-Catherine the Great

Senor Weaselo

Wouldn’t it be “My fills have been foaled” for her?

Horatio Cornblower

Yeah, when I looked at it again it seemed kinda backwards but my quality-control guy has been drinking.

...

Oh shit, this was the 666th comment.

That means I need to do more “eyes turn black, demonic voices” jokes.

King Hippo

OMFG, that is a killer penalty

Gratliff

DERPLANTA

Horatio Cornblower

Happy for all the Eagles fans here.

And all the Vikings/Saints fans, because the winner of that game just got a bye to the Superb Owl.

WCS

Foles pick-six in 3…2…1…

Spur

fuck you atlanta. Viks are gonna murder Foles.

JustStopDude

Wait…how is that NOT a catch?!?!

rockingdog

Hahahaha
They should have run it.

King Hippo

Man, that wasn’t even Philly’s GOOD CB

Gratliff

RIGHT THROUGH HIS FUCKING HANDS, FUCK YOU JULIO

Dick E. Phuck

At least we didn’t have to see the Falcons spontaneously combust in the Super Bowl again.

Gratliff

GOALLINE STAND EAGLES IWN APIFHA:OISFH:IOSJF;lAJSKF:LKAJSF:ILJAFS

King Hippo

THINKING AHEAD – if they stop this fucker, and get stuffed 3x in a row…will they have the balls to long snap it to Ajayi on 4th down and have him burn clock and take a safety? You can’t punt from the end zone with like 12-15 second left

Gratliff

o jesus get it over with

LemonJello

Another exciting episode of “WHAT IS CATCH?”

Gratliff

NAWT A CATCH: WISHFUL THINKING EDITION

rockingdog

Yea they gonna Run it. And score.

Spur

go for the FG!

Claymaker

Somewhere Kyle Shanahan is laughing his ass off.

King Hippo

Single coverage on Julio AGAIN

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Why take that timeout so quickly?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Touché apparently not a timeout

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Eagles timeout.

Horatio Cornblower

Falcons brain trust will call for a punt here, pin Philly deep and hope for good field position on the next possession.

Gratliff

One down left in the fucking season

Spur

was that a planned play?

WCS

I don’t think the Falcons actually want to win.

King Hippo

WOW

King Hippo

I expected run there

Horatio Cornblower

Atlanta’s going to fuck this up again.

Dick E. Phuck

“Billy Billy”
– Jerry Sandusky in the Penn State locker room showers

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’d predict an Atlanta touchdown followed by Matt Ryan throwing a pick-two on the conversion attempt that costs the Falcons the game, but that has already happened.

Gratliff

STOP JINXING US YOU FUCK

SonOfSpam

“STOP FUCKING US, JINX”

– very sore Pixie and Dixie

Horatio Cornblower

Evening, Figments Of My Imagination.

SonOfSpam

Welcome to our own little shithole!

LemonJello

HI!
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