A hale and hearty “Hullo!” to all my fellow pigskin huffers. Boy, did you ever hunker down to the funkiest spot on the net for the football watching. Say, here’s a trivia query: “When was the last time the overall #1 seed was a home dog?” No googling! If memory serves, you’d have to all the way back to 1935 or so when the Camden Meat Maulers hosted the Decataur Drooling Horde. What happened was that the Horde’s general manager up and snuck Notre Dame’s recently-graduated triple threat quarterback Sonny “The Ukrainian Tornado” Poroshenko onto the roster thus ensuring the victory. Apparentlly, the story goes, Commissioner Judge And Jury Kenesaw Mountain Landis (his billfold bursting at the seams with a very recent infusion of sawbucks) saw nothing wrong with this cheeky maneuver. The rest we’re all very much aware of-meat was mauled, hordes drooled, the body count totaled 3 and the final 0-0 score left the crowd chanting (for the very first time) “GO, METEOR!”. Will events unfold in a similar matter today? For the answers we must go… TO THE GAME!
Atlanta/Philadelphia:
She’s gonna be a cold one for the players today-it’ll be about 20 degrees with the windchill or what Canadians would call “a day at the beach’.
Injuries:
Yeah, there’ll be a few.
Good King Wentz Is Lost:
The before-amentioned Nick Foles has quite a bit on his plate today. Them Eagles finished up 13-3 but their brand new-ish starting qb finished up 23 for 49 in their last two tilts. (That 2013 Pro Bowl appearance back in ’13 seems like a two careers ago) On third downs over that two game stretch the news doesn’t get any better-he’s 1 of 17 passing on third downs. Did I mention that he’s fumbled in each of his last three starts?
Keep An Eye Out For:
The Falcons D, per the last eight weeks of the season is a top 5 unit overall. Most impressive has been 2nd year lb Deion Jones. He’s the one that intercepted Brees in spectacular fashion to save the Falcons playoff hopes and also batted down a potential TD score while shadowing Sammy Watkins in the end zone.
My Hot Takeaway:
It’ll take some time for each offense to get going so the first one to 20 wins. Falcons over Eagles 20-13.
I’m done but you’re just getting started-“GO GO GADGET FINGERS!”
Tony Dungy didn’t like that call because it only had one real option for Ryan, and when that failed Ryan was left hanging.
Banner? Banner
Time to take a shower and load on beer for the Titans victory pahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah-breathe-hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha-breathe-hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhnnnnnngggghhhhhh
/forget to breathe, die
How.. just .. HOW.. srsly.. the fuck just happened.. How did Nick Foles beat Matt Ryan?!
Where is da patiots Tits thread?
Gotta love the eagles guy wearing the dog mask!
Woof woof Win!
time for some Erotic asphyxiation football
Alright. Time to get really angry at the Patriots.
/punches self repeatedly in crotch.
Way ahead of you.
Who has two thumbs, predicted the game would be dog shit and they wouldn’t get the under? This guy!
#DFOInsidersdoitbetter
that’s cause we’re not distracted by things like sex and the outside world
/ok, fuck you, just me
That last series was just further proof that you can be dumb as a bag of fucking hammers and, if you can play football, BC will let you in and carry your ass for 3-4 years.
See also: Chmura, Mark; Romanowski, Bill
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I haven’t seen such a limp finish since…um…a while ago.
Nick Foles is definitely gonna die next week.
Oh yeah.
Attaboy! to all the GAMBLOR winners.
GRADY JARRETT I CALL THIS GUY TAKATA AIRBAG BECAUSE HE FUCKS UP AND RUINS ANY SHOT AT SAFETY.
+1 broken neck
Litre’s prophecy, partially fulfilled
HA HA HA ATLANTA SUCKS
/clears throat
MY FOLES HAVE BEEN FILLED
“My foals have been filled”
-Catherine the Great
Wouldn’t it be “My fills have been foaled” for her?
Yeah, when I looked at it again it seemed kinda backwards but my quality-control guy has been drinking.
Oh shit, this was the 666th comment.
That means I need to do more “eyes turn black, demonic voices” jokes.
OMFG, that is a killer penalty
DERPLANTA
Happy for all the Eagles fans here.
And all the Vikings/Saints fans, because the winner of that game just got a bye to the Superb Owl.
Foles pick-six in 3…2…1…
fuck you atlanta. Viks are gonna murder Foles.
Wait…how is that NOT a catch?!?!
Hahahaha
They should have run it.
Man, that wasn’t even Philly’s GOOD CB
RIGHT THROUGH HIS FUCKING HANDS, FUCK YOU JULIO
At least we didn’t have to see the Falcons spontaneously combust in the Super Bowl again.
GOALLINE STAND EAGLES IWN APIFHA:OISFH:IOSJF;lAJSKF:LKAJSF:ILJAFS
THINKING AHEAD – if they stop this fucker, and get stuffed 3x in a row…will they have the balls to long snap it to Ajayi on 4th down and have him burn clock and take a safety? You can’t punt from the end zone with like 12-15 second left
o jesus get it over with
Another exciting episode of “WHAT IS CATCH?”
NAWT A CATCH: WISHFUL THINKING EDITION
Yea they gonna Run it. And score.
go for the FG!
Somewhere Kyle Shanahan is laughing his ass off.
Single coverage on Julio AGAIN
Why take that timeout so quickly?
Touché apparently not a timeout
Eagles timeout.
Falcons brain trust will call for a punt here, pin Philly deep and hope for good field position on the next possession.
One down left in the fucking season
was that a planned play?
I don’t think the Falcons actually want to win.
WOW
I expected run there
Atlanta’s going to fuck this up again.
“Billy Billy”
– Jerry Sandusky in the Penn State locker room showers
I’d predict an Atlanta touchdown followed by Matt Ryan throwing a pick-two on the conversion attempt that costs the Falcons the game, but that has already happened.
STOP JINXING US YOU FUCK
“STOP FUCKING US, JINX”
– very sore Pixie and Dixie
Evening, Figments Of My Imagination.
Welcome to our own little shithole!
HI!
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