Your “I Hope You Like Field Goals” NFC Championship Open Thread

Don’t get me wrong-I think this will be a low-scoring, hard-fought tilt with plenty of hits and I’m all for it. What else do I be thinking? To know that we must go… TO THE GAME!

Minnesota/Philadelphia:

At long last more than a few denizens of The City of Brotherly Love will discover what it is like to throw up with a dog mask on their face. There won’t be any whips or the like involved but there could be a police baton or two making an appearance. Jason Kelce has informed the fans that there is some etiquette involved saying, “Remember, take off the mask before you spit on your buddy’s girlfriend. Manners are important!”

Injuries:

Safety Sendejo is out of concussion protocol and Adam Thielen is a go despite having ‘tiny cracks in his spine’.(?!) When you’re made of 100% grit these kinds of injuries are to be expected.

Matchup Mayhem:

Everson Griffin vs. Hal Vaitai: Hooo boy this won’t be pretty. Vaitai was ranked 47th out of 55 lineman in Pass-blocking Efficiency according to PFF. Griffin has 13 sacks so far and 61 pressures. Foles is a pocket passer that needs some protection. Does the qb have two consecutive non-Foles-ian games in him? We shall see…

Stats That Don’t Much Matter:

The Vikes have lost 5 straight NFC Championship games. They also have a 6-2 road record this year. The Eagles are giving up an average of 10.3 points per game at home since late October. Yikes. I guess it’ll come down to which qb makes the fewest mistakes. (shudders when he recalls Keenum’s ‘toss it up, see where it goes’ interception to Marcus Williams last week)

Bring your “A” game fellas and don’t forget to do your stretches!

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blaxabbath

Sorry sailor, saxaphone banner is better.

Are they bringing that guy to do the SB?!

Romonobyl

If that eagle was so smart he’d keep flying.

theeWeeBabySeamus

They should sing the Enrico Palazzo version of the anthem.

blaxabbath

That bald eagle shout be in a dog mask.

Duchess

I haven’t seen this much shit covered in false patriotism since Tom Cotton was on Meet The Press this morning.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I like that for the Banner, but Stephen Miller thinks I should be put in a camp, so take it with a grain of salt.

blaxabbath

“What? They say the camps are very nice and no recording equipment is allowed within 50 miles of them!”

-Fox News Viewers

the Alpha and the Amoeba

Personally, I enjoy watching Skip whine after the Cowboys lose a big game. Mmmmm, delicious schadenfreude

ballsofsteelandfury

“Ten bucks says you can’t hit a star with the D cell”

Gratliff

GAME TIME
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’d pay for two Joe Buck hair plug treatments if he made a joke about Erin Andrews and watching film.

ballsofsteelandfury

Before that magical missed tackle.

Spur

hey, those Troops should not be there.

ballsofsteelandfury

Government shutdown my ass!!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

This guy doesn’t know what essential government services are.

Petronel

Such as:

this.

theeWeeBabySeamus

YOU KNOW WHAT JOE BUCK???? GROW A BEARD OR DON’T. RIGHT NOW YOU LOOK LIKE YOU JUST FORGOT TO WASH YOUR FUCKING FACE!!!!!!!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Not yet. But come back to me by halftime.

Spur

is that old lady Viks fan at the game? i can see Philly fans throwing beer cans and batteries at her.

blaxabbath

Oh god, I hope she is there.

And, Yes! God I hope she isn’t there.

blaxabbath

Both QB’s get hurt this game and Brady is celebrated once again.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I’m so glad James Dolan only cares about basketball and not hockey.

Being the Rangers’ GM is like a Supreme Court appointment.

Sharkbait

This. The one time being the stepchild of New York sports is a good thing

Spur

least i know Philly is going to burn tonight.

ballsofsteelandfury

Yup, either way it goes.

blaxabbath

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ballsofsteelandfury

Are Gratliff and I the only ones that think Philly will win?

Gratliff

I mean, does any Eagles fan ever actually think they’ll win?

Gratliff

Sam Beckett is going to be stuck in Jeffrey Laurie’s body until the Eagles successfully prevent a Patriot’s dynasty. It’s taken 13 years to get his second try.

bk109

Guys, you ded yet, or the great lemming run is yet to start? ALSO WE’RE ARE ON TO FUCKING MINNY!

King Hippo

I just need to get hold of some good street heroin, and I am TOTES ready

bk109

You don’t need heroin – you just got Theo Walcott… You can borrow my shotgun if you want? I can even supply an alibi :p

Dick E. Phuck

If this ends up being a Pats-Eagles super bowl I’m going to have to go on a spiritual journey.

ballsofsteelandfury

Get ready…

bk109

You want a list of suitable buildings or you need something higher?

Dick E. Phuck

I’d be fine with being pushed out of an airplane at 20,000 ft.

bk109

Eh, that can be arranged,lol.. but unless you hit an active volcano (or Tawmy’s avocado ice cream), it’s not 100% effective 😀

Dick E. Phuck

I forgot to mention that this would involve no parachute.

Dick E. Phuck

Jumping off of tall buildings it is.

King Hippo

fuck Bradshaw sucking NE’s cock.

King Hippo

We should just cede the Superb Owl RiveBrog to the 5 P*ts fans and collectively boycott. It would be eerie as fuck.

ballsofsteelandfury

NEVER

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m seriously thinking about taking my wife hiking or something.

ballsofsteelandfury

What do you think I did all day today?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Took RTD’s wife hiking?

bk109

Your/his wife? (Yes, I’m drunk and yes, I find this hilarious)

blaxabbath

We were on a plane coming home from a weekend in OR watching UA basketball. I scheduled so we’d miss the second half.

Everyone on the flight was streaming the game. It was a very quiet and angry flight. Even the women who cared nothing about football, you could tell that the 50 upset men trapped in a tube with them at 20,000 ft made it clear of who they should root for there, less there be….implications.

Sharkbait

So 3 hours of the Maestro and I talking?

King Hippo

I mean, I will go back and read it LATER

Viva La Tabula Raza

I might check in. Had a bud over for the game today so figured it would be rude to be on here, but I did keep an eye on all the rending of garments and gnashing of teeth.

Redshirt

It would be like That Other Website’s First Attempt at a NFL Open Thread after the Exodus. It was six people wondering where everyone else was.

Gratliff

My psyche rn
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Sharkbait

As much of a Pats fan as I am, the fan base is the worst.

Romonobyl

Welcome to my world.

The Maestro

Unquestionably correct.

theeWeeBabySeamus

How did I not know Sharkbait was a P*ts fan?

Congrats to you as well, good sir.

Sharkbait

I hide it well.

theeWeeBabySeamus

So you mean you’re not an asshole.
Understood.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I can attest to this.

bk109

Oh,come on.. we’re relatively tame – at least visiting supporters don’t get a “You’re on your own, folks” warning from the cops! Just the standard – “Caution, thar be drunk cunts!”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Total penaties/penalty yardage against Patriots in important games (Steelers & both playoff games): 7-51

Penalties/penalty yardage against Patriots opponents in these games: 22-223

Fuck this kabuki bullshit.

King Hippo

THIS IS THE LAST FOOTBAW GAME OF SEASON THAT I SHALL RECOGNIZE AS SUCH.

makeitsnowondem

Well, at least this one doesn’t have the Patriots in it.

The Maestro

DEAR GOD THE BANNER PICTURE

WHY MUST YOU DO THIS TO US

litre_cola

That Vice doco was quite strange.

Gatoraids

The safe word is touchdown

Dick E. Phuck

Donald Trump is President, and the Patriots keep pulling wins out of their asses. Is there anything good left in this world?

ballsofsteelandfury

No

King Hippo

Trick question, everything has ALWAYS been shit, good things/times are only temporary illusions.

King Hippo

SWEET! Baskets this week. That is a fucking awesome show.

blaxabbath

0: the number of times I’ve been jealous of someone driving a GMC.

Sharkbait

Go Vikings?

Spur

damn right.

Romonobyl

I’ll take it.

King Hippo

my cat is trying to calm me down. Anger still at its highest peak.

Romonobyl

Obvious pussy joke is too obvious.

King Hippo

I have about $500 ATS (half -3, half -3.5) on SKOL!, and another $1200 on them reverse moneyline (i.e., to win at any spread, -160). First time ever bet that way.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I just upped to $500 total…all -3.
I’m not touching the ML or the o/u.

King Hippo

put like $99 on the over, now that it’s down to 38.5

Gratliff

This is an incredible leap of faith given the involved teams

ballsofsteelandfury

Yeah, they’re insane.

theeWeeBabySeamus

They???????????

I’m betting responsibly. The NC Lottery Commission reminds me every freaking day.

Gratliff

The fact that they’re calling you directly should be a hint

King Hippo

tendencies get borken and weather is pretty good. I think Minny could actually get pretty good working lead

ballsofsteelandfury

Dome team playing outdoors.

Gratliff

I bet he’s got some real progressive thoughts

ThePirateSloth

I’m so full of hate that I can’t even begin to make a dick joke.

blaxabbath

Unless hate looks like icing crammed into a sandwich bag, that’s not a presidential Dick joke.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I’d rather testify to a North Philly homicide than wear purple anywhere within 6 miles of the Linc today.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Tiny Cracks in His Spine is also Kevin Everett’s Native American name.

blaxabbath

Erin Andrews reminds me a bit of the President’s daughter.

Which means that the President wants to fuck her.

Romonobyl

That’s ironic, because our CIA spy satellites were called Keyholes.

blaxabbath

That’s about all Tucson is good for.

litre_cola

What are we drinkin folks?

Romonobyl

Clorox.

King Hippo

Ruby Grapefruit alcoholic fizzy water. IT GOOD

ThePirateSloth

MOAR Basil Hayden bourbon. Because fuck it.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Water.

I’ve made some bad life choices.

blaxabbath

Well I do need to swap out the bong water…

makeitsnowondem

Weldwerks Grisette looks good. Let’s go with that.

Mr. Ayo

VODKA

Romonobyl

This has come down to whichever team can murder teh P*ts. Nothing else matters.

Dick E. Phuck

Pete Morelli is the ref for the Super Bowl, so you know the NFC team is totally fucked.

Spur
blaxabbath

Maybe JAX should pick up Keenum in the offseason. He knows how to have a good defense but not be a complete piece of shit quarterback because of it.

litre_cola

This is quite wise.

Romonobyl

Last thread blew well past 1000 posts, at least we have that.

blaxabbath

Our sponsors will be happy.

Til there’s about 45 for the SB thread.

Spur

Come on Viks, give me something to be happy about. Murder these Eagle fucks.

Smithchez

If you told me either Donald Trump or Tom Brady would drop dead of heart attacks tomorrow, and I got to decide which one, I’d legitimately struggle with the choice.

King Hippo

Brady dying would kill Herr Fuhrer, so there ya go.

Gratliff

Okay. I’m officially fucking tired of the talk. These teams are mirror images of each other. Monster defenses versus extremely derpy QBs. It’s a coin toss, but more importantly, fuck you and you and you and you. Eagles in a blowout.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I really do believe the Vikes have the advantages other than home field in this one. So much so that I just dropped another $300 on ’em ATS (-3) for $500 total.

But an Iggles win wouldn’t surprise me. An Iggles blowout would surprise me tho.

theeWeeBabySeamus

But fwiw…me betting on the Vikes gives the Iggles a better chance.
I’m a jinx. Just ask teh Hippo.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Talking pretty tough with C cells over there.

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