Your “Wearing White? They’re Not Virgins – They’re Whores!” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

NFL News:

  • Because they can’t wear hoods instead of helmets, the Patriots will wear white during The Big Game™
    • 12 of the last 13 Super Bowl winners have worn white
      • The Pats are 3-0 in white at the Super Bowl; 2-2 in blue.
      • The Eagles are 0-2 in green.
  • ESPN is going to talk to Peyton Manning about taking Gruden’s spot in the MNF booth.
    • Their backup plan is Matt Hasselbeck.
      • Just like half the league, until 2016.
  • The Cowboys have hired former Seahawks DC Kris Richard.
    • He will become the “defensive passing game coordinator”.
      • Because there aren’t enough coaches on sidelines anymore.
  • Al Riveron is staying as NFL Senior VP of Officiating through the 2018 season.


World War One Centenary:

January 23, 1918 – Negotiations between Russian Bolshevik Government and Central Powers suspended.

The Bolshevik Revolution in November 1917 installed Lenin and his followers in power over Russia. [For those who don’t know, the Bolshevik Revolution was actually the second revolution in Russia that year. The first occurred in March, overthrowing the Tsar but keeping Russia in the war.] Lenin and the communists came to power promising a swift end to the war, as part of his “peace, bread and land” pledge to gain popularity and cement the foundation of the Revolution.

The Russians declared a ceasefire on December 22, 1917 and began peace negotiations with the Germans. But Russia had a poor bargaining position:

  • Lenin wanted Russia out of the war, and
  • Germany knew it

Germany, as a result, demanded huge territorial and financial concessions, primarily


Lenin didn’t care. His government entered negotiations on the premise that all losses would be returned after anticipated revolutions in Germany or the West. In fact, the Russian withdrawal from treaty negotiations on today’s date was done in anticipation of stretching out the negotiations in hopes there would be a revolution somewhere in the West  that would avoid Russia having to lose territories. Commissar of War Leon Trotsky led the Russian negotiating team, and demanded peace without concessions, knowing the Germans would never agree to it. In Trotsky’s words: “To delay negotiations, there must be someone to do the delaying”.

That thinking had some resonance. There were agitators working to foment revolution in the West, primarily Germany. To aggravate the German negotiators, Trotsky would appear at negotiation meetings with Bolshevik propaganda written in German, supposedly “being distributed” on the streets of “Berlin”. These tactics would work until mid-February, when the Germans decided to resume actions in the East, to either force Russia to capitulate to their demands or achieve total victory over Russia itself.

This German offensive quickly reached the outskirts of the-then capital city of Petrograd (later Leningrad, now St. Petersburg), forcing the Bolsheviks to move their seat of government to Moscow. This was made worse by the fact that the Bolsheviks were having to devote large amounts of resources to fighting their enemies in the Russian Civil War – the “Whites” – a loose alliance of former Provisional government supporters, Royalists and anti-communists. In essence, the Bolsheviks were fighting a two-front war in a concentrated area, and they needed something to give. The Russians hurriedly resumed negotiations, leading to the disastrous Treaty of Brest-Litovsk in March 1918, a treaty that would ultimately have implications impacting the rise of Hitler and the outbreak of World War Two.

One unintended effect of the Bolshevik’s delaying tactics was that it allowed the US time to become fully involved in the European theatre, despite having only joined the war in April 1917 in a primarily naval effort. Their army & armoured support on the Western front offset the German advantage to no longer fighting on two fronts. This allowed the Western allies the ability to push the Germans during the summer of 1918 into recognizing that defeat was inevitable, ultimately forcing German surrender in November 1918.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Bruins at Devils – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
    • Flyers at Red Wings – 7:30PM | NBCSN
    • Columbus at Vegas – 10:00PM | Sportsnet
  • NBA:
    • Cavaliers at Spurs – 8:00PM | TNT / Sportsnet1
    • Celtics at Lakers – 10:30PM | TNT / Sportsnet1
    • Knicks at Warriors – 10:30PM | TSN2
  • NCAA:
    • Providence at Villanova – 6:30PM | FS1
    • Kansas at Oklahoma – 7:00PM | ESPN
    • Wisconsin at Iowa – 7:00PM | ESPN2
    • Creighton at St. John’s – 8:30PM | FS1
    • Mississippi State at Kentucky – 9:00PM | ESPN
  • WWE:
    • Smackdown – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
      • the final show before Sunday’s Rumble
        • expect lots of posturing

DFO: come for the historical content, STAY FOR THE MOOSE GIFS!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

BeeryGuyRob, are you the cool teacher at your school? I would have loved taking history from you.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Like the snappychat?

Unsurprised

Why do the pretty ones have to be crazy (In her case, staying in Utah creates the presumption of insanity).

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Given that face, that body and that level of flexibility?

Totes worth the cray cray risk IMHO.

/hides the knives
//buys condoms

Wakezilla

Oh, she’s going to poke holes and freeze those used condoms

Unsurprised

Worse is that she definitely knows better spots for hiding the bodies than any of us do.

Well, maybe not Fozz. Then again, I’m pretty sure that no-questions-asked body disposal is one of the only functioning city services in Balmer.

Unsurprised

I didn’t know there were soccer cheerleaders.

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Mr. Ayo

Viva la futbol!

Wakezilla

Blonde is gone, but, replaced by brunette, who sent a topless pictures to my server, who is gay. Red head talking about how she likes taking nude pics of herself and posting them on Instagram, which her boyfriend doesn’t like. If I had more courage, I’d walk up and ask for her account name. She says she is sick of his shit. Also, I can hear everything now. I can only assume this is a hint for me, right?

Don’t feel too bad for the guy, he wants Red to merge friends with him so they have the same group of friends. That’s weird.

WCS

DFO became Penthouse Forum so gradually, I hardly even noticed…

Wakezilla

Red is talking about how her boyfriend got her drunk and proposed a gangbang. She said four guys was too much but would consider three, and now he is ignoring her. What world is this? Where am I? Lol

theeWeeBabySeamus

Obviously I picked the wrong night to watch TV.

Unsurprised

If I had more courage, I’d walk up and ask for her account name.

DO IT FOR UNSURPRISED!

Unsurprised

I’m not kidding. If I’m not going to have a chance in Hell with any woman ever, then the least you can do is take a shot at her for the sake of me knowing it’s not entirely impossible.

Unsurprised

LOL

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Unsurprised

Speaking of the War Nerd and Ronald Reagan – http://exiledonline.com/reagan%E2%80%99s-cheshire-snarl/

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It’s just that his pudding brain is what slowly and painfully killed that motherfucker.

Wakezilla

If only it was Alzheimer’s triggered by AIDS

Unsurprised

I can only get so erect DOT jpeg

WCS

Karma’s something.

Unsurprised

The Russian civil war was a clusterfuck of epic proportions, but listening to the War Nerd retell it on the Radio War Nerd podcast was immensely fascinating. There is nothing leftists love more than to fight amongst themselves, and that was definitely no exception. There was also a “Greens” faction of peasant insurgents whose tactics were brutal even among the Russians (burying people up to their necks before siccing dogs on them, for example).

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/dir-p5jxc-2db55c2

Wakezilla

Ice Liouns still haven’t re-signed their GM, who is in his final year and has done a pretty decent job. That’s gonna make the trade deadline tricky

Fronkenshteen

Godfather 2 question: Does Frankie Pentangeli only exist because the actor who played Clemenza wasn’t on board for the sequel?

Unsurprised

I think so. This is interesting.

The Pentangeli character took the part in the plot which was originally intended for Clemenza, whose death was to be set anti-parellel to the extended sequence in which the young Vito becomes Clemenza’s partner. It also would have continued the sequence in which Michael is responsible for the deaths of his father’s relatives and associates in an order reversing the order in which Vito met them (Carlo Rizzi, Tessio, Roth, Clemenza, Fredo).

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frank_Pentangeli

WCS

Well, there you go.

WCS

I believe that’s correct. I know the guy who played Clemenza wanted the same salary as James Caan got for being in the sequel. Sonny was only in the second for, what, five minutes? But, Caan was able to get the same pay he got for Godfather Part I as Part II. I can’t imagine the producers and studio were particularly pleased about that. No chance they were going to give Clemenza that money.

Wakezilla

Sheamus, where are ya, buddy? I’m at Central City bar and you should see the blonde and red head sitting about 10 yards from me.

Beer report: Red Racer’s s’mores beer is very good, but doesn’t hold a candle to their Raspberry Wheat ale or their IPA.

Unsurprised

Detroit’s hockey team is outperforming Los Angeles’s? What a world.

Wakezilla

LA fell off the rails.

Unsurprised

In L.A. they would’ve just landed in a pile of cocaine.

Wakezilla

Well, they have a history of players getting caught with coke issues

Wakezilla

Weather is messing with Ice Chargers.

Unsurprised

Fuck the NCAA. They’re useless anyway, but MSU is a state school. The governor and legislature have the power and every right to burn the entire city of East Lansing to the ground. If I were the governor I would fire EVERYONE – regents, president, VPs, the entire athletics department, everyone not absolutely critical to the clinic. When I say athletic, I also mean everyone from the dean/VP to the fucking janitors. Fuck ’em all.

Then again, Michigan is also a state where the governor and legislature themselves should be fired into the sun for a number of other abject failures of leadership, accountability, and minimal competence.

Shit, there’s an entire division of the Department of Justice that by all rights should have crawled so far up the asses of everyone at Michigan State as to make it impossible for them to breathe without getting indicted. Instead we have the Keebler Klansman as AG, so we’re fucked. At least if Hillary had been President they would have at least paid lip service to this as an act of performative feminism on their way to brunch.

Spanky Datass

136 combined penalty minutes in the Ice Dolphins @ Ice Cowboys tilt? THAT’S OLDE TIME HAWKEE COOUCH!

Brick Meathook

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Unsurprised

How’s the view from that high horse, buddy?

Unsurprised

I’m watching Planet Earth II. Komodo dragons are just dinosaurs, right? That’s pretty cool.

Unsurprised

I guess that it’s good that I live like a monk in that I’m going to have workers spending the next month occupying half of my goddamn apartment, so I don’t have a lot to move, but it really is going to put a damper on trying to do work when there are construction workers occupying half of my goddamn apartment for a month.

Spanky Datass

Ice Cowboys whooping the piss-water out of the Ice Dolphins.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m watching Drunk History on Comedy Central.
I had forgotten how funny this shit is.

Spanky Datass

‘Tis Goode *hic*
/bourble

WCS

It’s always an extra bonus one someone throws up.

Unsurprised

I really have to find out more about the one they recorded where the comic got so drunk it was unusable. I only know about it from hanging out with one of the writers, but I keep forgetting who the comic was and it’s probably not something anyone wants out there.

litre_cola

Ice Eskimos twitter is absolutely fantastic right now.

Senor Weaselo

Not to be content with 2-2, the Ice Giants gave up a relatively cheap one, pulled Lundqvist… and then gave up a shorthanded goal two minutes later. At this point I have to say this past week it is a good thing that I do not have a plentiful alcohol supply in this house because I would have drank all of it.

theeWeeBabySeamus

You’re doing it wrong.

/breaks the seal on freezer vodka
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eebfMFzJHNs

Senor Weaselo

I mean, clearly.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Plus it’s Anaheim.
You shoulda planned ahead.

Senor Weaselo

I have to drop Padre Weaselo off at LaGuardia at 8 AM. Personally I think it means we need to leave about now.

litre_cola

Ice Bombers up 2-0 on Ice Niners real early.

WCS

How is Edmonton (Ice Eskimos seems redundant) is bad this year? They were a Game Seven overtime away from making the Western Conference Final last season. Buffalo (!) is tearing them a new arsehoule.

Senor Weaselo

And Connor McDavid is still alive.

litre_cola

Living in Calgary thr last 10 years of Edmonton dumpster fire has been sooooo entertaining. They have had so many blue chip players yet fuck all.

Senor Weaselo

Good news: Ice Giants tied the game.
Bad news: And then they gave up a PP goal!

Senor Weaselo

And then then Nash already has his second of the game. MAKE UP YOUR GODDAMN MINDS WHETHER YOU WANT TO BE COMPETENT ICE GIANTS.

WCS

I’d prefer they remained schizophrenic.

JustStopDude

I got to go 10.1 miles tomorrow. Checked the old google maps. Told it I needed to be there at 7am.

Apparently that will take me an estimated 57 minutes.

I hate this fucking city.

Wakezilla

If the SB ratings plummet to ten year lows, think we’ll see less generous calls during P*triots games next year?

After this comment, We’re two comments away from this thread being niiiiiice.

Unsurprised

No.

Senor Weaselo

Ice Giants give up an odd man rush goal to the Ice Clippers, and then give up a penalty. After allowing 3 PP goals to Ice Rammit on Sunday. Reeeeeally testing my patience and lack of alcohol here, Ice Giants.

Senor Weaselo

Shit. Ultra Death on the back of my hand. And I just rubbed my eye.

theeWeeBabySeamus

This could mean a lot of things.
I’m presuming you’re talkin’ ’bout peppers tho.

Senor Weaselo

This one here. The bottle is almost finished at long last!
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JustStopDude

I’m in Charlotte for work.

I think Charlotte is my least favorite city in the world. Take the sprawl of LA, the traffic of Atlanta, the faux-new rich (read that as “eye balls deep in debt living in suburban McMansions”) of Dallas, the crippling minority poverty of Detroit, the utterly insane zoning of Houston (or lack there of) and the rampant, institutionalized segregation of Montgomery.

Like even Memphis, which by every single statistical measurement is the worst city in the South, still at least has some gritty charm to it.

Charlotte is just…fuck I hate Charlotte. Its the Cam Newton of cities.

WCS

I concur completely. I’ve been there for a couple bowl games, and loathed the city. It’s a good thing both games were f’n terrific.

JustStopDude

You look at a lot of Northeast Cities and they are a mess when it comes to infrastructure because they are mega population groups in cities that were never expected to be that big, with cars and such.

Charlotte has no fucking excuse. Like 90% of it was built less than 10 years ago. There are maybe a total of 12 lanes of traffic, across three roads, to get into and out of this fucking city. They are building homes practically in the middle lanes.

This city is a monument to man’s hubris and its an affront to both god and common fucking sense.

WCS

Both times we were there, for a college football bowl game, at BoA Stadium, every restaurant and bar closed by 22:00 on a Friday, the night before the game.

rockingdog

Folks!
Im gonna start watching that show High Maintenance. They got a 2nd season!!!!!

rockingdog

Directed by quentin tarantino!

rockingdog
montythisseemsstrangetome

Seriously, loved the history lesson, Beerguy.

Romonobyl

Anybody seen The Darkest Hour with Gary Oldman yet? I liked it, pretty much Blighty’s version of Lincoln set in the summer of 1940 but a little less assassinatey.

rockingdog

Lots of shots of an old fat man smoking a cigar? SURE!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JbFpROzEC8Y

Romonobyl

He also drank a lot of brandy while taking a dump, gotta respect that.

Senor Weaselo
WCS
Viva La Tabula Raza

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Spanky Datass

Ice Dolphins starting goalie down (self inflicted owie) early in the Ice Cowboys barn. SHIT’S GETTIN’ CHIPPY!!!!!

Spanky Datass

Penalty bins overflowing!

Senor Weaselo

Someone get the emergency goalie!

Spanky Datass

ALL THE HAWKEE FIGHTS!

JustStopDude

MSU-Women’s Gymnastics Rant INCOMING!

God I wish I was the head of the NCAA. I would not even fucking bother contacting the university president of MSU. I would just send out formal letter like this.

Dear [Insert Coach name here]

This letter is to inform you officials that your sports program is under full NCAA investigation for any and all violations, from this point forward. While cooperation is appreciated, it is neither expected nor necessary. There is a clear issue with institutional corruption that will be burnt from your institution.

Sports programs are a privilege; not a right.

Your’s in Christ,
JSD – Head of the NCAA

I would go “Sherman on Atlanta” on their asses.

These fuckheads have the nerve to release statements that their university president’s job is safe.

Not even Pedo State had the fucking ball or the failure to have the simple human emotion known as shame.

JustStopDude

I seriously would not even personalize the letters. The fucking football staff, down to the fucking table tennis team, all getting the same letter without even me bothering to get their names right.

I would just take over the fucking office of the football coach.

By the time an actual investigation would be 2 months old, they wouldn’t be able to field a team with all the sanctions.

Senor Weaselo

The “Dear [Insert Coach name here]” wasn’t you putting in coaches, that’s verbatim what the introduction’ll be.

JustStopDude

You would have to establish with them their position in the power dynamic. Like if Mark Dantonio started getting mouthy about me throwing his shit off my new desk, I would just start urinating on his shoes…and then demand to see the receipt of his shoes so that he can prove to me that a booster did not pay for them.

Gratliff

Definitely getting tired of these places just kind of shrugging and waiting it out so they can go back to systemically ruining children for shiny trophies.

JustStopDude

Seriously…at this fucking point, what does a university have to do to get serious sanctions?

We are now talking about a university running an abuse system that raped over 150 women and girls.

What does the school have to do? Have fucking cannibalism happen…repeatedly….for years on end…on film?

Gratliff

I mean, how else would you teach film direction?

Senor Weaselo

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rockingdog

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Unsurprised

Moose always has been a ladies man.

Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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herodotus450
herodotus450
Viva La Tabula Raza

I sincerely believe that listening to my father’s Tom Lehrer albums as an elementary school aged child resulted in my being the twisted fuck that I am. National Lampoon readership in my teens and twenties probably made it worse.

theeWeeBabySeamus

There was a big earthquake off the southern coast of Alaska early this morning. Why do I know this? Because my aunt who lives there called me at 4:30ish am this morning to tell me how horrible it was going to be when the tsunami hit.

I tried to counsel her and advise her how to deal with it. None of my advice did she take, however. More or less because she just wanted to whine about shit.

No tsunami hit, fortunately. But today I got photos of all the damage to their house. Full disclosure, it looks to me like they just forgot to winterize this year. No earthquake damage.

tl;dr : Family sucks.

herodotus450

Seward!!!!

Wakezilla

Yeah, BC is on Tsunami warning. Luckily for Vancouver, we have Vancouver Island protecting us

scotchnaut

Zero Mostel killed it in “Fiddler On The Roof” and refused to rat out anyone while testifying to the House Un America Committee. Ronald Reagan killed it in “Bedtime For Bonzo” and named names to HUAC and went on to become President of the United States. In case it ain’t clear, when asked, always rat out your friends.

herodotus450

A funny thing happened on the way to the white house I guess.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F1CUkifBr_Y

scotchnaut

Your video isn’t showing in the greatest country in the world. I’m gonna assume it’s about the hostage thingy.

herodotus450

No it’s about George Murphy… which probably doesn’t mean anything up there. I didn’t even know who it was until I heard that song years ago. He’s like the proto-Ronald-Reagan.

Senor Weaselo

Because Reagan remembered that ratting on your friends for power is… TRADITION!

montythisseemsstrangetome

I didn’t think Reagan remembered anything.

Unsurprised

Look where that got Jimmy in the end.

Senor Weaselo

He also killed it in the original movie version of The Producers, so I guess you could say that by not ratting on his friends he became a Prisoner of Love.

Don T

[thinking about the flop] “This is a house in the country. This is a Rolls and a Bentley. This is wine, women and song. And women!”. Best movie ever.
Mostel didn’t want to do the movie, and Mel Brooks guilted him into it. “I bought your fucking paintings when you were blacklisted and I wrote Max Bialistock for you”. Only cruder, I imagine. Both were shouters.

Senor Weaselo

Creighton at St. John’s

I say they lose by… 15?
/At least the school I actually went to made SportsCenter last night, go Panthers!

litre_cola

Sex Panthers?

Senor Weaselo

Also since we were apparently the first major show Drake played live, allow me to apologize for Drake. And also I have no idea how he got big after it because he was fucking awful!

Wakezilla

40% of the time, they win every time

scotchnaut

Little Known Factoid: Trotsky’s promise of “a pig in every nest” was co-opted and modified by Herbert Hoover a few years later. “A chicken in every pot” propelled Hoover to the presidency.

herodotus450

Trump version: “Pot in every joint. Just kidding.”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“A chicken in every draft”?

scotchnaut

“130k disaster relief to every Storm?”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“A father in every daughter”?

scotchnaut

“Sure. If you get my grift….” [winks eye in obvious fashion]

Gratliff

So WWE fired Enzo, after saying they were suspending him during sexual assault investigations yesterday. Those of us who properly hate his face applaud the move.

Wakezilla

Interestingly enough, a lot, if not all those countries Lenin surrendered, would be reacquired under Stalin’s sphere of influence after they sign the non-aggression treaty with Charlie Chaplin.

Best Trotsky story ever, has to be the fact Stalin told him that Lenin’s funeral was a different day, thus effectively eliminating Trotsky from becoming leader of Russia

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scotchnaut

/been having vivid sex dreams about a cashier at the grocery store

I’m really conflicted about whether or not I’m grateful that my wife’s loud-ass snoring interrupts those dreams. I mean, that cashier is really good in the sack.

litre_cola

Tough one. I get ex dreams all the time.

herodotus450

Fun* Fact**: The bolo tie is named after the pejorative term for Bolsheviks, “Bolos.”
*: Fun not guaranteed.
**: Factness not guaranteed

scotchnaut

That’s just great. Now with ‘fun facts’ not guaranteed, you’ll never know for sure whether or not I scored 38 points in an intramural basketball league game.

montythisseemsstrangetome

Ron Howard voice: He did not.

Gratliff

Senior Ukraine Correspondent here with a re-enactment of Ukraine post-Bolshevik revolution:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2uZjtAkN38