Your “The Olympics Will Save Us!” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

NFL News:

  • Not sure if #MeToo or regular ex-wife issues, but the Panthers have placed interim general manager Marty Hurney on paid leave due to complaints filed against him by his ex-wife.
    • The allegations are for “harassment”. No other specifics are given.

It’s been a fun 24 hours looking at the Josh McDaniels – Colts annulment.

  • His agent fired him over being double-crossed.
    • Mind you, the agent also represents Colts GM Chris Ballard, so that amounts to a possible conflict-of-interest as well as a definite awkward phone call.
  • The change-of-heart came Tuesday when he met with Belichick & the Krafts prior to emptying out his office in Foxborough, where he was offered an undisclosed sweetened deal.
    • Belichick would allow McDaniels more input into roster construction & salary-cap management.
    • The Krafts liked the idea of a possible succession plan.
    • McDaniels liked the contract extension that would allow his four kids – 12,10, 6,3 – educational & social stability.
  • It’s noted by NFL Network that McDaniels has essentially isolated himself from the rest of the NFL at this point:
    • “McDaniels better hope the Patriots don’t renege on any potential wink-nod promise for the future. The Patriots’ offensive coordinator just lit his remaining goodwill from around the NFL on fire.”
      • “While he’s rehabbed much of his reputation both on and off the field in recent years, Tuesday night’s decision likely undid all of that in the eyes of 31 other teams.”
  • Oh, and there’s this:

  • In case you wanted to know where the moral high ground is, TD’s got you covered:

Can’t imagine why he’d be upset that a man chose family over football.


Well, who needs football coverage for two weeks when we’ve got the Olympics to keep us warm!

Tonight starts with mixed doubles curling. Since I’m lazy – and have a lot of new students this week – I’m going to crib from Deadspin about what the hell mixed curling is:

In mixed doubles:

  • Games are eight ends instead of 10
  • Ends are six stones per team instead of eight, and one of those rocks per team is preset
  • Teams are just one woman and one man
  • Throwing order goes A-B-B-B-A and the throwing order can change between ends. (Most commonly the woman throws the first and last, though the former world champion Russians are a notable exception)
  • Games last about an hour shorter (one hour and 30 minutes)

Sweet – Mr. & Mrs. Beerguy for Olympic gold in 2022!

Also, because it’s an Olympics, this is obligatory given the current ban on “Russia” but not Russians.


Tonight’s sports:

  • Olympics: keep in mind I’m still figuring out the time changes, NBC’s apathy & CBC’s awful website
    • Mixed Doubles Curling:
      • Canada vs. Norway – 7:00PM | CBC (live) / 2:00AM | NBCSN (delay)
      • USA vs. Russia – 7:00PM | TSN (?) / NBCsports.com
    • Men’s Ski Jumping:
      • 7:30AM | CBC / NBCSN (live)
  • NHL:
    • Preds at Leafs – 7:30PM | Sportsnet
    • Bruins at Rangers – 8:00PM | NBCSN
  • NBA:
    • Timberwolves at Cavaliers – 8:00PM | ESPN / TSN
    • Spurs at Suns – 10:30PM | ESPN / TSN
  • NCAA:
    • Marquette at Seton Hall – 7:00PM | FS1
    • Wake Forest at Miami – 7:00PM | ESPN2
    • South Florida at Connecticut – 7:00PM | ESPNU
      • DO NOT BET THIS GAME, SEAMUS!
    • Creighton at DePaul – 9:00PM | FS1
    • Texas A&M at Auburn – 9:00PM | ESPN2

The Olympics are a nice methadone to the lack of football. THE HOCKEY’S GONNA SUCK, THOUGH!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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blaxabbath

Any of you all drive a lot for work? Like once a week it drive to/from Tucson (or northern az sometimes) and it just kills me. It’s two hours tops each way but I just dread the return drive (usually means either coming in to phx pm rush hour or having to go to my shop, adding 1-3 hours to my work day). Besides trying books on tape, any advice?

theeWeeBabySeamus

That stretch between Eloy and Chandler….holy shit I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten so freaking bored along there I just wanted to drive into oncoming traffic**.

** Not intended to be “advice” btw.

theeWeeBabySeamus

VCU has a player who looks like a black version of Sideshow Bob. Except he’s black. And his hair is bleached blonde. I can’t stop giggling.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Does he have a younger brother that plays for the clown college (aka UNC)?

theeWeeBabySeamus

LMAO, that’s funny right there.

Fronkenshteen

Anyone going to the parade tomorrow?

Romonobyl

Do you think there will be a gay float?

blaxabbath

Mobile Riot Instigator?

rockingdog

I found a funny:

Our 71-year-old President with an approval rating well below 50% is throwing a parade for himself, but please tell me more about how millennials all want “participation trophies”.

HT @OhNoSheTwitnt

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The parade they held for him in Charlottesville wasn’t enough?

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WCS

So St. John’s shits on their collective dicks for over a month, and then beats Dook and Nova inside of a week?
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rockingdog

St Johns vs #1 Villanova highlights:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YIB0I-K3JPg

Senor Weaselo

Why is it seemingly every basket made?

Wakezilla

No matter who your hockey team is, take solace in the fact they aren’t as a big a shit show as the Ice Alouettes. Holy shit, that team is depressing.

Senor Weaselo

/Brendan Smith trips over himself
“Oh yeah?” -Ice Giants

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hold our beer!!!

– Ice Birdcano

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’ll have you know good Sir that I own not one, not two, but three ‘Yotes sweaters.
A holdover from when I was a resident there and they didn’t suck all the ass.
I haven’t worn them in years and I couldn’t even tell you which box in the attic they’re packed in.

Gratliff

To be fair, they do have nifty jerseys

theeWeeBabySeamus

The new ones really are, though I never bought one of those when they changed. Mine are the old weird ones like this….
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Gratliff

I feel like there was an episode of Gargoyles back in the day where they were in some “spirit world” that almost certainly involved peyote where Coyote (Xanatos[Johnathan Frakes]) looked like that, and that reminds me of the time Goliath celebrated the Eagles winning the Super Bowl.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

You do have a valid point.
Though Ice Redacteds are my team. Sooooo…..Get back to me in April I guess?

Mr. Ayo

Oh, look at mister fancy pants with a hockey team.

DO SOMETHING, CONGRESS!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Good lord. Hokies be bitch slappin’ the wolven kind.
Sorry I checked in.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I hate this team.

Yay Marc Staal has a no-movement clause.

Senor Weaselo

I’ve turned Amazing Race on. Granted, I like Amazing Race, but still!

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I actually heard the story about why there are no-trade and no-movement clauses and it strangely involves Todd Marchant.

Wakezilla

It’s sad he had so many injuries happen early in his career. He should have been a solid top 2 d-man. I blame Torts for that.

Brick Meathook

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Unsurprised

Oh Captain, my Captain.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’d be scared shitless trynna to land that thing.
Hell, these days I’d be scared shitless trynna land a Cessna 182

Senor Weaselo

Jesus Christ, Ice Giants.

King Hippo

pretty sure you’ve squeezed as much juice as you gonna get outta the universe tonight, good man.

Senor Weaselo

Even by recent badness standards though, this is… bad.

Gratliff

Appreciate the Rags letting the Flyers go 1-4 while keeping their playoff spot.

Senor Weaselo

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Unsurprised
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Spank bank for a lifetime

Unsurprised

Especially the last 90 seconds when she’s crying.

rockingdog

hahaha I first thought you weren’t serious.

……then I watched it. Looks like she’s gonna talk about bullying?

Senor Weaselo

Hooray, nothing makes sense, glorious glorious chaos!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Haha…How ’bout those fighten’ Mullins!!

King Hippo

Sure, give the butt Pirates a free timeout!

theeWeeBabySeamus

That foul shoulda been flagrant 1, btw. No play on the ball.

King Hippo

all good now!

theeWeeBabySeamus

I think you’re good Hippo.
Congrats.

scotchnaut

I’s really drunked up. Let’s do this again in the morrow.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hippo would like to have a word with Rowsey methinks.

King Hippo

AAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHH

Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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blaxabbath

What a fucking bitch.

He was clearly just complimenting her when he offered to go out back and bang her under the stairs/

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I agree with her; why the fuck you printing all that shit?

Unsurprised

This is the best version of V for Vendetta yet!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Why the hell didn’t they keep that in Rowzey’s hands?
Jeebus.

King Hippo

Wojo’s side do seem pretty well-coached, I shall grudgingly admit

theeWeeBabySeamus

SH cheergirls seem fun.

King Hippo

Stupid SH won’t go away…

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hippo, what’s your wager on Marquette?

King Hippo

just like $100 @ +270

theeWeeBabySeamus

Starting to wish I’d done that one meself.
Oh well.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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blaxabbath

I’ve never had marrow. I saw it on a steakhouse menu once but I ordered some other side instead.

Should I try it?

scotchnaut

“Marrow? Yes, of course! I give it five stars, three femurs and one medulla.”

-Jeffrey Dahmer

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It’s basically meat butter if prepared properly….. so yes.

Unsurprised

No reason.

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Unsurprised

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King Hippo

she seems fun!

theeWeeBabySeamus

It’s gon’ hurt when she falls off those shoes.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

*On to mai dick.

scotchnaut

“No Rhyme.”

-Walt “Free Verse” Whitman

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

HAHAHAHAHA; I like yours better.

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Unsurprised

I like yours more. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Post that is……

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Unsurprised

I once got “stuck” behind a girl wearing a dope thong on an escalator once. Can confirm.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Jesus Christ UVa.
What the fuck kinda play was that?
And fuck you Hamilton for not fouling.
Buh Bye Money.
Oh wait, I forgot FSU can’t hit FTs….
Let’s watch.

King Hippo

UVA makes 2, they cover as long as FSU misses their desperation heave!

theeWeeBabySeamus

They’ll nail a meaningless 3. That’s just how I roll.

King Hippo

ALMOST!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Nope. UVa gets me the dough KU stole from me last night.
I think you’re right about UVa/VT btw.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

Johnny Cakes!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Why do Leonard Hamilton’s disapproving facial expressions make me laugh so much?

King Hippo

best scowl in the land!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

Part of the kindergarten curriculum at all APS elementary schools.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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DAILY PORN.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

Ribeye fat is the best flavour ever. I miss being able to digest red meat, goddamnit.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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*Both jokes.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

Nova and Seton Hall making runs. Big East is consistently quite entertaining hoopsball.

Plus, you can go to confession at the half.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

Not even sure there WAS a ML option in this here Nova fixture

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

Because.

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blaxabbath

More respect could have been given.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

HOT TEABAGGIN’ ACTION!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

These guys fuck. They fuck their wives, their mistresses, their office secretery, each other, it doesn’t matter. These guys fuck anything that moves.

Unsurprised

The one on the far right has the confident grin of a man with a horsecock.

Senor Weaselo

Not even the lowlight of the night!

rockingdog

that dude is gonna win MVP someday.

King Hippo

This is a very tricky matchup for Wahoowa, they fightin’ through it. In Hippo’s book…the #1 side in the country.

theeWeeBabySeamus

If they can hit their FTs down the stretch (they will) they win tWBS some scratch.

King Hippo

pullin’ for ya, homie! Marquette looks to come good for me, LSU fell just short at the end.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I considered ML’ing Marquette meself, but backed off.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

Vote Time!: Which would you rather eat?

1. Cold Lasagna

2. Crackers, Kielbasa sausage, Monterey Jack cheese

BEGIN!

King Hippo

there is no cat vomit alternative??

scotchnaut

“Hippo, I served with cat vomit. I know cat vomit. Cat vomit was a friend of mine. Hippo, you’re no cat vomit alternative.”

Mr. Ayo

#2

-Philly fans

Gratliff

This deserved better

Mr. Ayo

No worries. I made the banner! WHOOO!!!!

Wakezilla

2. It will also pair nice with some cheap wine if you’re in the mood.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

Have a week, Johnny Cakes!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

some assembly required ,, ppl forget that

Senor Weaselo

Poor defensive play leading to a goal given up, drink!

herodotus450

I’m betting one annoying ass commercial that the Canada-Norway curling teams are hotter thatn USA-Russia USSR CCCP Oh who the fuck knows.

scotchnaut

As far as the Canadian female curling champeenships are concerned, the Provincial winners can’t have a single team member that doesn’t have a perfectly symmetrical visage.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

predestination is a bitch sometimes

herodotus450

It’s been 5 minutes but I can state with certainty: these new brooms are RUINING curling.

scotchnaut

“Have they tried the Nimbus 2000?”

-Harry P.

herodotus450

Do the mixed doubles curling partners also have to be married? Someone get ABC on the line I’ve got a gameshow!

Senor Weaselo

Oh fan-fucking-tastic, Marchand’s back. I look forward to him inevitably slew-footing Nash which means the Ice Giants lose their biggest trade chip.

herodotus450

The next day:
“Marchand fined $100; it’s only his 13th offense how was he supposed to know?”

litre_cola

It was a bang bang play.

Senor Weaselo

/Checks ESPN app
“Red Storm lead the Wildcats 39-34 at halftime.”
Senor: Wait, what the shit?

herodotus450

More EPYC SPROTS FAILLLS!!
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scotchnaut

herodotus450-inspired Sports Failures

I never got the hang of zip-lining…

scotchnaut

As a hockey goalie I let in 11 goals one time.

scotchnaut

I was once matched up with Carleton University’s starting point guard in a pickup game and he destroyed me.

WCS

I hit myself in the head with a golf ball once. While teeing off.

herodotus450

I understand why this is funny, but I’ll let someone else wants to explain it to schotchnaut
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scotchnaut

*crickets*

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

I gave up 12 runs in the first inning of a Little League game. In fairness to me, 11 were unearned and among the shitshow that was my “defense” there were two grounders back to me that should have gotten me out of the inning if the first baseman could catch (the first being the one that opened the floodgates), to the point that the third grounder back to me I just threw it to the catcher because he might actually be able to catch it.

I was the literal definition of soft-tossing lefty, so naturally the lack-of-defense behind me asked why I didn’t strike the guy out. A typical Senor Weaselo pitching performance consisted of 4 innings, 3 earned runs, many unearned, 1 strikeout, 3 walks, 2 put-outs, 2 assists, and 1 “runner missed the base” appeal, normally successful.

scotchnaut

Our soccer goalie was not available- I said, “I’m a hockey goalie!”. I let in 4 goals in the first half of the first half.

King Hippo

I once stole the ball from NC State G/F Mark Davis on the outdoor courts, the day after we were eliminated in the ACCT.

In one motion, he said “nice play, man” and took the ball back.

blaxabbath

McDaniels liked the contract extension that would allow his four kids – 12,10, 6,3 – educational & social stability.

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Pictured: New England social stability

WCS

https://www.sbnation.com/lookit/2018/2/7/16985468/corgi-riding-pony-video

DOG RIDING A MINI PONY I REPEAT DOG RIDING A MINI PONY

ballsofsteelandfury

NBC is streaming the curling in the US through their NBC Sports app.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Welp, my work productivity just took a nosedive for the next 2 weeks.

ballsofsteelandfury

Opening Ceremony LIVE too! Friday at 6 AM Pacific

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I will very much be asleep in bed then. But I do get to work from home for the rest of the day after lunch though!

herodotus450

[rubs hands together]
(Here we go, the setup of a lifetime.)
Dungy should’ve made a similar choice for his kids’ COMFORT to stay in TB.
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