Champions League Barca Tuesday Roundtable

I think almost every one of us folks on DFO that dig the soccer love FC Barcelona.  There are a lot of reasons for that.  They have an attractive style of play that values passing,  possession,  and attacking.  Their coaching history is filled with innovators and all-around decent dudes. Oh,  and they have the best player in the world in Lionel Messi.

On the negative side,  there is a bit of hypocrisy with their “Més que un club” slogan given that the front office decided to move UNICEF to the back of the shirt and bring sponsors to the front like every other club in the world. The only Barça shirts I own have UNICEF in the front and nothing else.

Combine that with some questionable accounting that’s allowed the team to stockpile talent and you’ve got an identity crisis.  Luckily,  the fútbol has not suffered much.

To the games:

Chelsea v Barcelona

Balls: This year’s team is leading La Liga by 7 points over Atlético Madrid yet it seems something is lacking.  True, Neymar is gone to PSG, but Coutinho has come in, so it’s not talent.  This team is very susceptible to the counterattack.  They have already dropped multiple points to teams utilizing this approach.

How does Chelsea play? Oh. Right.  To be truthful,  most English teams play the counter VERY well.  This spells trouble for Barça.

PREDICCIÓN: I see an early goal on a counter from Chelsea and a struggle for Barça to tie.  Let’s say they do.  Call it 1-1.

King Hippo: I am typing this on the heels of cashing a +2200 bet on Wigan to defeat mighty Man City in the FA Cup.  Also, FUCK Chelski.  Seriously, these guys can just die in a fire already.  Unless they are playing Liverpool, United, or Real Madrid, naturally.  I put money on Barça, and I expect them to come good, and come often all over they backside.

PREDICCIÓN: Barça 3, Chelsea 1.

Wakezilla: Chelski is 3-3 in their last six matches and are expected to play for the nil-nil draw. While Barcelona hasn’t looked all that impressive recently, their playing better lesser footy. As usual, they’re likely going to do the bare minimum to get through to the next round and conserve their energy for the later rounds.

PREDICCIÓN: I’m guessing it will be an uninspiring 1-0 Barcelona win.

Litre_Cola: Hoooo boy. I love me some Barca, and hate me some Chelsea. Did you know that Stamford Bridge isn’t in Chelsea? Right, I have stated that before. Barca is cruising this season, 1st in La Liga, still in the Copa Del Rey, and now hopefully kick the shit out of Chelsea. Messi is the greatest it is really that simple. The wee men that surround and have surrounded him for years are so good in possession that it makes your head spin. At the back Pique is getting older but still an absolute rock, plus you know who his wife is right?  Iniesta and Rakitic are so solid in the middle providing support, and as much as I hate him, the biter Suarez is world class. As for their opponents the West Side London Scumbags, well, I would really like to drink wine and smoke cigarettes with their manager Conte, however it is rumoUred that he is on his way out, but he laughs in your general direction. Eden Hazard too!  Even with Conte’s offensive attitude the Blues really enjoy “parking the bus” and will do so, even if they are playing in Fulham and not on the road.

PREDICCIÓN: Barça 2, Chelsea 0. I too have dealings with GAMBLOR.

Bayern Müenchen v Beşiktaş

Balls: This will probably be a blowout along the lines of what Liverpool did to Porto.  Bayern is a runaway freight train in the Bundesliga and is a serious threat to win the Champions League. The Turkish champions are… not.

PREDICTION: Bayern 5 Beşiktaş 0.

King Hippo: A Turkish Delight this will not be.  Good thing this is not the only game in the window.  Bayern is a Lesser Footy machine in a way that is quintessentially German…

PREDICTION: Bayern 4 Beşiktaş 0.

Wakezilla: This is a fun matchup for me because I have always liked Bayern and I have a soft spot for Beşiktaş. Back when I went on a field school to Turkey, after I finished wandering around the ruins of a Byzantine castle, I decided to walk around the surrounding area. This area was incredibly poor and tough and in hindsight, I’m surprised I wasn’t mugged. Anyway, I ended up at the Beşiktaş training facilities and looked around. It was a fun, random experience that not too many people have experienced.

Bayern might be winning their games, but they look far from being an unbeatable juggernaut. Beşiktaş scored in all their Champions league matches and are honestly better than most people give them credit for.

Prediction: Beşiktaş recently added a Canadian striker on their team named Cyle Larin. He had a great three year stint in the MLS and will likely give Munich’s defense fits. With that said, Bayern’s offense is going to overwhelm Beşiktaş’s defense and Munich will get the 3-2 win.

Litre_Cola: Everyone thinks that the the Germans will kill them. and it will probably happen but I hope not. Here is why. I’ve actually been to a Beşiktaş game with a Turkish buddy I used to work with in Scotland. He’s a huge Beşiktaş supporter and I had a blast at the game. The thing was is that he lived with his husband in Scotland stress free which was great but when they were back in Turkey they barely spoke to each other. Obviously with the way it is there they did not feel safe coming out at the time (2004). The thing that made me more upset was the lads explaining to me that they don’t really talk when they are home because they don’t want their parents getting any ideas. Also they can’t be themselves when they are home so they would rather vacation apart. Also they are who taught me what a ‘bear’ is. The “Black Eagles” (nice) are heavy with Portuguese and Brazilian. They have Wagner Love who I remember being a menace for years in Russia, and they have Pepe. Fuck that guy hard. He is just the biggest fucking asshole in the game. THERE ARE ALSO TWO CANADIANS ON THE TEAM!!!! Attiba Hutchinson, who I have actually heard of, and Cyle Laurin who I have never heard of. I have spoken more about this game than I anticipated.

Prediction: Bayern 1 Beşiktaş 1 YEAH I SAID IT, odds are good for the draw too.

ballsofsteelandfury

ballsofsteelandfury

International Member of the Geelong Cats and recovering Steelers fan. Likes Butts. And Balls. And Boobs. Pretty much anything that starts with the letter B. Preferably together.
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scotchnaut

/watching the original “Rocky”

As a damaged sidekick, Danny DeVito never did better.

King Hippo

If I never contribute anything else meaningful to DFO, I am very, very proud of the “collabourations eh?” tag.

King Hippo

and Balls wins the Bayern goal tally

King Hippo

Barca wants the draw. DAMN IT!!

rockingdog
rockingdog

Morata!!!! Go get a goal dude!

…no not a yellow card. hahahaha

King Hippo

c’mon, get a 2nd. GAMBLOR demands it!

King Hippo

ooooooh, that was a cock-up

rockingdog
rockingdog

Yoooooo Mesi with the goal

looks like that 1-1 score you guys predicted is gonna happen…..

rockingdog
rockingdog

Chelsea corner…… lets get this going…..

YESSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WILLIAN!!!!!

King Hippo

Barca WAY more purposeful this half. Me gusta!

rockingdog
rockingdog

Im hoping an unforced error by Barca gives Chelsea a goal…..

King Hippo

and there you go, Ask and ye shall receive…

rockingdog
rockingdog

Put Morata in! Chelsea needs him!

King Hippo

It’s almost like Messi knows it’s a World Cup year, and it’s sphincter tightening early.

Wakezilla

Hummels looks like a defensive liability and Bestikas is still good, albeit down a man. I think they should get at one in the second half.

King Hippo

Now that I cashed my prop bet (once the odds went down to +110, I bet on Bayern to win the half and made $120), I can feel good rooting for Litre’s Draw bet to come good.

Very possible the bus-parking was just hoping to get to the half before they could diagram a viable 10-man attack strategy.

rockingdog
rockingdog

0-0 at the half for Chelsea. Grrrrr……. im gonna go get a snack.

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Wakezilla

Who could have thought Bestikas’ shitty duck and cover strategy wasn’t going to pay off?

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rockingdog
rockingdog

Barca is killin em on possession…. gotta fix that.

King Hippo

and the dam finally breaks in Munchen

rockingdog
rockingdog

Stumbled onto a barca vs chelsea stream and the announcers are speaking spanish.
Well ok then!

King Hippo

Bayern do NOT look like a side with sufficient firepower to win the title, to me.

Wakezilla

Agreed. Or at least if they keep playing the way they have been lately. They just get by teams. Maybe they’re conserving their energy and doing the bare minimum? It’s a long season for them.

Wakezilla

Bestikas is parking the bus already? Oh, this is going to end well before the half.

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Wakezilla

That was a great save by the goalie. . . .Bayern smells blood and are really putting on the pressure.

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King Hippo

well, the Turks are down to 10. Sorry, Litre

Wakezilla

Good old Canadian boy, Cyle Larin, has two possible outcomes for his Champion’s League debut:

Option A (I think the most likely): He will be happy and inspired by the fact he’s playing in Europe, that he will score at least one and raise hell on the Germans, mainly because they won’t have a scouting report on him (he’s actually a very good, young striker).

or Option B: He will be so nervous and intimidated by the fact he’s playing against Bayern Munich, he will shit the bed and will get harassed online until he blocks me and every single irrational MLS fan that wanted him to stay and ideally go play on a Canadian team not named TFC.

THERE IS NO INBETWEEN

King Hippo

he never gets in the match?

Wakezilla

Well shit, I just read that he’s not even going to play today. . . .

Wakezilla

This is a pissoff. I checked earlier to see if he was going to play and all indications was that he was going to start. These people get paid for a living!

King Hippo

shaky start

litre_cola

Stuck in a meeting all fucking day. I bet with my predictions and will not get to monitor the shit kicking coming to the Turks.

King Hippo

I wonder if that little kid is worried about having his or her back to Luis Suarez like that.

King Hippo

Barca’s warmups look like VPI

King Hippo

Hilarious how Fox tries to cram MLS coverage into Champions League pre-game. That’s like showing pee wee highlights at halftime of the NFL playoffs.

LemonJello
LemonJello

“Show what now, at halftime? You, sir, have my interest.”
-We All Know Who

King Hippo

One can get 25:1 on the Turks to win, if so inclined

Wakezilla

Just 25:1 to win in Munich? That’s way too low.

King Hippo

oh shit, thought it were at least in Turkey. Glad I ain’t bet it.

Wakezilla

You dodged a bullet, me thinks. Aside from Bayern being Bayern, their fans are absolutely insane.

rockingdog
rockingdog

Psyched for this Chelsea match.
Gotta finish up some schoolwork first……..

Wakezilla

Just came across this meme on facebook and thought it was funny.

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rockingdog
rockingdog

Post it!!!!!

Wakezilla

God damnit! Why is the internet so protective of their useless shit?

http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/facebook/001/343/232/3fb.jpg

SonOfSpam

Greater Football Talk: Muscle Hamster has been freed from the pirate ship.

Let’s sign him in LA as Gurley’s backup. Plus, he can get earrings that roll under the lockers.

King Hippo

who’s gonna pay his School of Maturity tuition now?

Senor Weaselo

I read that as “fired from the pirate ship.”

LemonJello
LemonJello

/Door barely ajar
Soccer talk?
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Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass

“Soccer talk roundtable? Hold my beer …”
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Senor Weaselo

That table is clearly not round!

Wakezilla

Table was 90% broken. 2/10. They’re not hardcore.

Wakezilla

/obligatory Barthelona pic

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LemonJello
LemonJello

Otto’s Brain really rubbing it in with these instagram posts…

Senor Weaselo

The real reason why Wigan won? They have a player by the name of Max Power.
https://youtu.be/BSVms6cT9nk

BrettFavresColonoscopy

THESE DFO LESSER FOOTY POSTS MAKE ME FEEL LIKE AN OLD-TIMEY PRINTING PRESS IN THAT THEIR FAST PACE, ACCENTS, AND CEDILLAS MAY BREAK ME AT ANY TIME