Yeah sure, it’s Friday the 13th. But we’re ignoring that. Mostly because I just did that six months ago.
But, did I ever tell you guys I got married on a Friday the 13th? True story, Bro.
My marriage sucked all teh ass. It almost killed me (literally), truth be told. Not because it started on a Friday the 13th. But rather because I was an idiot. I can own that.
I’m not bitter….YOU’RE BITTER!!!!!!
(ahem)
We live and we learn. Hopefully.
Sadly, sometimes we don’t learn as quickly as we should. Sometimes, we even repeat past mistakes (and by “we”, of course I mean “me” because I’m stupid). But, as long as we’re still above ground and trying, that’s what counts. And hopefully, eventually, we recognize our shitty patterns of mistakes moar quickly the next time around.
Fortunately, I did. Doesn’t make it feel better, but I am kinda proud I didn’t let it almost kill me this time.
–
Hockey Girls
Last year, I almost blew it. I waited and waited and waited. And I almost waited too long.
This year, we’re doing it early. The opening round of the Stanley Cup Playoffs has just begun. No procrastinating this year.
I love hockey. I didn’t watch as much of it this season as I would have liked. But the playoffs are here and it’s time to overdose on it…. now that it’s 80° outside. SMGDH. But still…
Sexy Hockey Girls!!!!!!!!
Woooooo!!!!!!!
I’m going to try my best not to repeat any from last year. But no promises because some of them were pretty damned hot. Let’s see what happens.
Enjoy….
My thoughts exactly, Noob Noob.
I think my ice is melting.
–
Yeah I Know
A lot of you are gonna hate me for this one. But I’m doing it anyway.
Yes I feel kinda dirty now. But I’m also giggling my ass off.
Which is better than last night when I wanted to drive to our nation’s capital and murderize Evgeny Kuznetsov. Fucking idiot. I hope you silly DC Russians still like spring golf. You’ll get to the course earlier this year apparently.
Have a great weekend everyone.
Love ya’s!!!
(except for you stinking Yinzers)
Grumble, Grumble.
–
Oh, great. I fell down the hole of Chloe Moretz’s subreddit.
https://gfycat.com/DifficultAggravatingGuernseycow
.
.
They’re already here.
Fucking … God Damn It.
You know she recently got a boob job.
I don’t want to alarm anyone…but I think I might be getting old.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZXhuso4OTG4
Camel race!!
Supposedly Katy Perry.
It is.
She is still fine as Hell. I still can’t believe she married Mr. Burns’s shitty actor spawn.
h
ttps://68.media.tumblr.com/870d72e30b70f9416a112ae57f6f4d6f/tumblr_oz457dbTkb1qdmimio1_1280.jpg
Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Hilarity ensues.
Fucking Jerk.
(OK i don’t mean that…he’s actually a really nice guy)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIh07c_P4hc
Well Vegas done won again.
So can I jerk off now or what?
This fucking game sucks.
Sorry, but it had to be said.
Yes Chrissy Tiegen is a babe. She’s also fun to talk to. Fuck you John Legend…if you weren’t rich and mocha, I could take her away from you.
Yes, this song also happens to be significant from earlier too. Fuck you San Francisco and the rest of the bay area.
But seriously. Chrissy Tiegen is pretty and very fun to talk to. I’m totally not planning John Legend’s untimely demise.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=450p7goxZqg
I wonder if that’s fun
Oh, Hannah.
John Legend has some questions.
I fell down the youtube music hole earlier thanks to Rikki’s Request line.
And Primus, you’re guilty of this too my brother Seamus.
Good stuff.
This shit is legal now?
Probably should play the song that goes with this comment.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGmruOmX3xI
I deny everything.
Who are you?
Who am I?
Hi Everyone!
I told a few of you folks about this earlier but my 5 year old angelfish, Wanda moved on to that great bowl of tartar sauce in the sky a couple of days ago.
They offered grief counseling but I graciously declined.
It’s a fish but still?
Anyway good time to restock the fish tank since the kraken is dead.
I bought 2 new angel fish and a 6 pack each of neon tetras and orange heart tetras.
The tank looks immaculate.
/pours one out for Wanda.
Got to keep moving.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mUCoQryE7-k
I like that you can buy a six-pack of fish.
I liked it so much that I bought two.
Remember when LA to Vegas just meant dealing with shitting traffic?
This shit’s getting old.
Now it’s also a shitty sitcom that I watch.
Haven’t watched any of it yet. Worth it?
No. I only watch for Kim Matula.
Give it some time.
It’s just the pilot.
You were bashing CenturyLink before; my mom had an account and I closed it right after she kicked the bucket. The dude on the phone went into a hard sell for me to keep and expand the account. He stopped when I yelled “WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? YOU AND YOUR COMPANY ARE HORRIBLE ASSHOLES. TURN THE FUCKING ACCOUNT OFF NOW!!” or some such. ‘This call may be recorded for quality control.’
Dayum….I think I will field all future CenturyLink calls to you.
I was a bit pissed, but rightfully so. Granted; he works there and was doing what he was told, but still, fuck that.
Oh goddammit you asshole.
She’s very attractive.
Who is this lovely lass? Me don’t recognize.
Liz Turner apparently
https://www.instagram.com/elizabethcturner/?hl=en
She seems smart.
She’s SUPER conservative Christian, though. I assume Southern Baptist since she’s Georgian.
So she skipped all the modesty crap apparently. The old testament too.
I’m all shoulders on that.
No sorry baby, I can’t bang ya right now. I spent too much stamina blowing that fucking thing up.
Oh, so it’s now a problem that YOUR jaw hurts?
No, more like a heart attack and/or stroke.
LOOK HOW BIG THAT FUCKING FLOATY THINGY IS!!!!!!!!
/goes to Home Depot
//buys air compressor
What floaty thing? You mean her breasts?
Those could also potentially cause a stroke.
So let’s say “yes”.
They’re causing me many strokes
I wish I had a pool or spa or access to one.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3ZeUL4fRyk
/goes back to Oakland discussion.
Nice jacket.
JACKET OFF!
JACKET OFF!
JACKET OFF!
Aren’t we all?
Looks familiar somehow.
The unique shape of light bulbs make insertion far easier than extraction.
Ppl forget that.
That sounds familiar somehow.
Pretty sure I stole it from here
Huuummmmmmmmm. Jokes have no warantees.
Those are flashbulbs, not lightbulbs. GE #5B, GE #11, GE #22B, and GE #50. If you want to be extra-fancy and impress all the guys down at the camera swap meet, refer to the screw-type bulbs as having “Mazda bases.” They’ll know not to fuck with the likes of you.
I could go see that ass in a theater for basically free. Maybe I should.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OgMkST2rUR8
/was watching Whose Line clips
Get out of my brain.
/Goes back to listening to entire Spyro trilogy soundtrack
//Needs to do that sometime while stoned, probably with Hermana Weaselo
/totally willing to get stoned with Hermana Weaselo
//would behave
///as far as you know
Holy shit. I once owned not just one, but two of those.
Fucking Apple II
They make medication for those floppies
Apple IIe was my first computer.
She seems smrt.
And also really fucking hot.