Yeah sure, it’s Friday the 13th. But we’re ignoring that. Mostly because I just did that six months ago.
But, did I ever tell you guys I got married on a Friday the 13th? True story, Bro.
My marriage sucked all teh ass. It almost killed me (literally), truth be told. Not because it started on a Friday the 13th. But rather because I was an idiot. I can own that.
I’m not bitter….YOU’RE BITTER!!!!!!
(ahem)
We live and we learn. Hopefully.
Sadly, sometimes we don’t learn as quickly as we should. Sometimes, we even repeat past mistakes (and by “we”, of course I mean “me” because I’m stupid). But, as long as we’re still above ground and trying, that’s what counts. And hopefully, eventually, we recognize our shitty patterns of mistakes moar quickly the next time around.
Fortunately, I did. Doesn’t make it feel better, but I am kinda proud I didn’t let it almost kill me this time.
–
Hockey Girls
Last year, I almost blew it. I waited and waited and waited. And I almost waited too long.
This year, we’re doing it early. The opening round of the Stanley Cup Playoffs has just begun. No procrastinating this year.
I love hockey. I didn’t watch as much of it this season as I would have liked. But the playoffs are here and it’s time to overdose on it…. now that it’s 80° outside. SMGDH. But still…
Sexy Hockey Girls!!!!!!!!
Woooooo!!!!!!!
I’m going to try my best not to repeat any from last year. But no promises because some of them were pretty damned hot. Let’s see what happens.
Enjoy….
My thoughts exactly, Noob Noob.
I think my ice is melting.
–
Yeah I Know
A lot of you are gonna hate me for this one. But I’m doing it anyway.
Yes I feel kinda dirty now. But I’m also giggling my ass off.
Which is better than last night when I wanted to drive to our nation’s capital and murderize Evgeny Kuznetsov. Fucking idiot. I hope you silly DC Russians still like spring golf. You’ll get to the course earlier this year apparently.
Have a great weekend everyone.
Love ya’s!!!
(except for you stinking Yinzers)
Grumble, Grumble.
–
This instantly made me think of Brick, which … I guess that’s good for him?
Symbolism?
It’s that time of the night…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PvXmtkl4Nmk
I told you to keep your ass out of the kiddie pool.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K38xNqZvBJI
“I told you to keep your ass out of the kiddie pool.” -Roy Moore’s political advisors
“No.”-Roy Moore
And hey, wtf happened with appt for doggie tail?
Tell me privately if you’d prefer, but I’d like to hear.
Motherfucker was fine the next day. Think he slept on it wrong and sprained it. Love the little bastard but he is absolutely dumb enough to do that.
Good deal man. Very happy to hear that.
Thanks for the advice early on. It did settle us down.
“Don’t worry honey, one of the deviants I hang out with on the internet is a vet!”
How my wife hasn’t left me yet is a mystery right up there with Where’s Jimmy Hoffa.
Hehehehehe. No worries. I’m just happy it turned out for the best.
Also yay foar me being right.
Honestly, it’s not unusual for a youngster. But admittedly I was playing the odds. I really am happy I was right, though.
And fwiw, it’ll probably happen again.
Dogs are dumb.
Official in Vegas: HEY GUYS SEE THIS BIG HOLE IN THE ICE YEAH MAYBE DON’T SKATE OVER HERE FOR THE REST OF THE NIGHT.
HOW DO WE MAKE ICE!?!?!?
Unsurprised, from the DFO Times: Question. HOW DO YOU FUCKING BLOW OPEN AN ICEHOLE IN A HOCKEY RINK!?!!?!
Did you say ice hole?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0v4sOvEa7AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQkBeOisNM0
I’m a sucker for good percussion.
Also boobs, but this is mostly for the percussion.
She seems smrt.
I wish all of those people would spontaneously combust.
He seems great at parties.
He’s never been to a party.
Because he’s so great at them he puts everyone off, obviously.
People who have never seen something sometimes have trouble comprehending its existence.
FEMALE ORGASM!!!!
Oh sorry, I thought this was word association.
Clitoris and unicorn?
I’m never sure how to take that comment.
She’s cute and haz great nips. I’m willing to lie to myself and presume she’s smrt even if she isn’t.
ie I like smart girls, but for her, given the visuals and her obvious…..
OH GODDAMMIT WHY AM I STILL EXPLAINING THIS?????
A friend of mine was getting his plant ecology PHD, and he seemed to be able to choose lab assistant undergrad who looked like that. Fucker.
Too smrt for your own good.
Yeah, it just sounds like a stupid sexist comment, but I see how you mean it now. On that note; if she’s a going for the PHD; it would be biology, maybe chemistry, not history.
Admittedly, it is sexist.
That being said, for myself at least, I never intend it to be derogatory.
No, I meant it sounds like the old ‘women ur stoopid’ thing, not how you meant it, which is kinda opposite of that.
Or cold.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DTvnL1jWNao
It’s long, but her shirt’s mostly unbuttoned so just shut up and watch it.
GRAB THE SHOULDERS!
will there be a liveblog for the NBA playoff games tomorrow?
God, let’s hope not.
Sixers virtually guaranteed to follow a 16 game win streak with getting swept by Miami
Somewhere else, sure.
I wrote a preview actually! Here it is:
https://tenor.com/view/traviskelce-gif-4991027
Major General James “Spider” Marks – the TRUE czar of the telestrator!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZLfasMPOU4
Get outta the fucking street!
How do you bomb a chemical weapons storage facility in a large city like Damascus without, y’know, poisoning everyone?
PRECISION strikes
You can’t.
Imma fuck ‘dat pie.
Judging from the middle, you’re gonna be the second one to do it.
Coachella is one of the best times of the year.
Is she still married to David Copperfield? Because that was his greatest trick ever.
No. She’s married to some British movie producer and has a bunch of kids.
That’s somehow even worse.
For teenage me, I mean. I’m sure Claudia’s doing great.
http://s.quickmeme.com/img/70/7065902105de16706b0ee3d8575a1ac64c1f33159ab6d5cc57c4a86d7a972b24.jpg
I made that.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wfTv2WZZMpU
Atlanta is the 2nd best show on teevee right now.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=73aGEOgQB3A
that episode was fucking bonkers
Gimme a sec…..
Chad Green bails out Betances.
Maybe he can give him a lift to Scranton while he’s at it.
perfection!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bhr55XAr1Fs
Shitting on the Cowboys’ WR corps:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4icUyXw1E2Q
the hardest thing about the Dez cut was the off season admission that Dez caught the ball in Green Bay. Fuck the Packers! and Fuck you Rodgers! (an asshole is an asshole, gay or straight!)
To have a corps you need more than one.
Dropped some change…. apparently.
I must’ve missed this one.
I really need to know how this story ends.
He pulls over and takes a nap; then feeling dehydrated he drinks a lot of water.
Erstwhile, tWBS emerges from the backseat…..
Also from a nap and dehydrated…… but much more dried jiz on his jorts.
In all truth, and I swear on my life this is true….
I once “manually pleasured” my girl (at the time), riding in the passenger seat, for three full hours while driving from Raleigh, to the NC coast.
She seemed OK with it.
Hehehehehe
Shit, reply fail…that was ‘uhsposed to be respondingz to Moose below.
Hands at ten and two in the pink.
It was a fun weekend.
I once pleasured my wife for five straight hours.
And I swear to Christ that is the last time I EVER go furniture shopping!!!
Giants – Dockers in 90 minutes…
I guess this is why people still watch The Walking Dead.
Hey, I finally got this past week’s episode watched.
Fuck Eugene, btw.
Shiney hiney. 9.8/10.
8-6. Betances has given up five hits. Aaron Boone has finally realized you can use more than one pitcher and inning, so that’s something.
“You just can’t use a pitcher for more than one inning.” -Gabe Kapler
That fucking guy.
Good morning.
I see her cherry’s gone.
Hmmmm….I might need a closer look.
This is a delightful, underrated band.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3TQKEUne5Q
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RKGbjJarMeA
You think UK and France joining Trump is good until you realize May is grasping onto straws and Marcon thinks he’s a literal god and is intervening because France still sees Syria as a colony.
This. This isn’t exactly the alliance of the good guys.
Why the fuck do we give a shit about Syria anyway?
Israel, Turkey, and Saudi Arabia hate Assad for various reasons like their tenuous connections to Iran and Hizbollah. Turkey wants land and to kill their Kurds. Saudi hates non-Sunni. Israel hates them all and has a creepily and powerful alliance with SA. And above all else, there’s a shit ton of financial interests involved.
Everybody (in power) in the Middle East is fucking terrible. Anytime anyone gets involved, it’s for moneys.
I think Balls’ point is that us bombing the shit out of them is no better than them hitting their own people with chemical weapons.
Just because we’re striking back in the name of justice? Yeah, sure. We’re still just killing more people.
That’s not anything honourable.
Exactamundo.
Oh, yeah. That’s totally true.
I would be happy with all of those governments’ leaders gone, but there are literally no good replacement options in Syria and probably not any reasonable ones in any other countries in the region except for some Kurdish areas. I mean, ISIS and Al Nusra are both offshoots of Al Qaeda and the U.S. (the CIA, anyway) is supporting goddamn Al Qaeda in Syria in support of regime change “… because …” I guess that’s all our policy has ever been towards Syria. So we are now allied with a group that even five years ago was still a mortal, existential enemy of the U.S.
It’s all fucking bullshit.