Your Saturday Evening Playoffs Post

First Saturday night of playoff action can only mean one thing:

STOMPIN’ TOM!


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Maple Leafs at Bruins – 8:00PM | NBC / CBC
    • Sharks at Ducks – 10:30PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet360
  • NBA:
    • Heat at 76ers – 8:00PM | ABC / TSN
    • Pelicans at Trail Blazers – 10:30PM | ESPN / TSN
  • MLB:
    • Angels at Royals – 7:00PM | FS1
  • UFC:
    • UFC Fight Night Prelims – 6:00PM | FOX / TSN3
    • UFC Fight Night: Poirier vs. Gaethje – 8:00PM | FOX / TSN3
  • F-1:
    • Heineken Chinese Grand Prix – 2:00AM | ESPN2 / TSN
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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

Every time I start to ask a question about porn trends I have to stop because I assume it’s just what’s tailored to my computer even though I surf in Incognito mode.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Wakezilla

My god, John Gibson just robbed the Sharks

rockingdog

found a funny:

I periodically look up from my desk with a little smile in case someone is filming sitcom credits.

Senor Weaselo

The Ducks are missing a golden opportunity to do the Mighty Ducks quack at the beginning of periods/games.

rockingdog

just quackers i say.

ballsofsteelandfury

Essendon – Port Adelaide is good so far…

Spanky Datass

Oh shit! I forgot, thanks!
/click clikc click …

Unsurprised

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

h

ttps://68.media.tumblr.com/4b841306ec23df8624c3d86988bfd260/tumblr_p6evmjFiLP1vrehg1o1_1280.jpg

ballsofsteelandfury

Ha ha! That’s awesome!

Unsurprised

I’m not entirely sure if this is safe for posting.

https://gfycat.com/gifs/detail/livelykeyhorsemouse

Mr. Ayo

I’d allow it

theeWeeBabySeamus

Agreed. As soon as my modem reboots I’ll embed it.

Unsurprised

I got it.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey!!!! CenturyLink!!!! I have almost literally no connectivity now. I’m sick of your shit. I’m sick of getting the runaround from you.

Frankly, I’m just mostly sick of you assholes telling me how much you appreciate me choosing CenturyLink.

I didn’t fucking choose you.

You wait ’til Tuesday to wander your useless asses out here? I suggest you invest in body armor.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

So apparently at today’s gig (pianist in a catering hall lobby) someone tipped Padre Weaselo $2. As in, they gave him a $2 bill. Which leads me to ask, who the fuck carries $2 bills with them and makes it rain Jeffersons?

Unsurprised

Weirdos.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

Go Quackers!

/strictly GAMBLOR (got in at +1100)

theeWeeBabySeamus

Bad bet methinks.
How much?

King Hippo

$50

theeWeeBabySeamus

Good bet for the odds.

I’m signing off for the night before Homeland Security shows up for my terroristic threats to CenturyLink.

BUT I’M DOING THE WORLD A FUCKING FAVOR THOSE ASSHOLES NEED A GOOD TORTURING AND KILLING.

Senor Weaselo

Just remember that if you’re razing corporate you have to salt the earth afterwards.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Captain?

Mr. Ayo

This lass is a tad short on the forward.

Unsurprised

She’s certainly not Captain Underpants.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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rockingdog

thats just quackers. ducks score and now its 3-2 sharks.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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A smidgen of pigeon.

Senor Weaselo

It took two years of me making the joke but Donald Glover/musical guest Childish Gambino is finally happening.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I can get on board with that. Not that anyone gives a shit about my opinion on the matter.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kp7eSUU9oy8

Senor Weaselo

Still a fan of Camp myself.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vz98wIcWLk0

yeah right

We’re Primus.

And we do suck.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGmruOmX3xI

rockingdog

Score!!!!!! OH YEA! 3-1 sharks!!!!

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Unsurprised

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Unsurprised

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Unsurprised

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Unsurprised

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Unsurprised

Aubrey Plaza, in case anyone was wondering.

Unsurprised

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh Caprice, let me…..

I MEAN WHO THE HELL IS THIS????????????????

theeWeeBabySeamus

OK, seriously….

You guys need to stop editing your vids after the fact.

Unsurprised

I thought this made more sense as a first post, but here:

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Wasn’t singling you, fwiw.

Your edit still made sense. Though I do like this one better.

Whoever she is.

Unsurprised

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Unsurprised

Just enjoying the cool breeze.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Stubbed her toe in the shower… that hurts.

theeWeeBabySeamus

/volunteers to give first aid

rockingdog

found a funny:
Duck 1: When I die I want to come back as a human.
Duck 2: They’re nasty bastards
Duck 1: Yeah but imagine being in charge of the bread.

theeWeeBabySeamus

So, my cat just almost killed us both. Again.

STOP SLEEPING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING STAIRS IN THE DARK YOU STUPID CAT!!!!!!!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

And of course, she acted like it was my fault.

Mr. Ayo

You did interrupt her nap asshole

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’ve also now discovered that at some point earlier, she puked all over the floor downstairs. Including on my hi-hat pedal.

Goddammit.

That pussy ain’t worth the price.

rockingdog

YES!!!!! COUTURE!!!! 2-1 sharks!

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I told ya’s those cartilaginous chondrichthyes were sneaky good.

rockingdog

yes! sharks tie this up!

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King Hippo

dagnabbit, Left Shark was up to like +2000 to win the 1st period

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Mr. Ayo

Left shark seems pretty even with Right shark here.

King Hippo

San Diego’s Franchy Cordero may be my new favourite non-BFIB el beisbolist

Senor Weaselo

The winner is still Antonio Bastardo in my book.

herodotus450

Ducks playing dirty? Wonder who they learned that from…

rockingdog

quackers

theeWeeBabySeamus

Why you edit out funny duck biting dumbass’ nose foar?

I am totes disappoint.

rockingdog

i freaked out because it didn’t load right….
let me try again.

theeWeeBabySeamus

There it is!!!!!

Best Duck Evar!!!!!!!

rockingdog

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King Hippo

I see the Bills finally moved to Toronto, and are hanging tough in a defensive battle, a FG to the P*ts’ TD.

King Hippo

wait, why they stop the game after 3??

herodotus450

Mercy rule.

Brick Meathook

Who am I supposed to hate more: the Bruins or the Maple Leafs?

litre_cola

Yes.

WCS

Exhibit A:comment image

Horatio Cornblower

I mean, Boston’s a great city with the exception of 96% of the people who live there.

WCS

So is Philadelphia. And Pittsburgh.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

And Earth

King Hippo

yes, I read a book where 99.99% of the world’s population dies off. Probably a pretty nice planet, except for how God-awful the survivors will be.

Horatio Cornblower

The Stand?

King Hippo

Station Eleven

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh dammit. Imma get yelled at again now.

I’ll finish it, I promise.

King Hippo

just leave it in the coffee shop or sommet, FFS!

King Hippo

Toronto gave the world The Kids in the Hall. Bahstahn ain’t top that.

theeWeeBabySeamus

A very good point.

herodotus450

Boston gave up Dropkick Murphys; checkmate.

King Hippo

yeah, that doubles TOR’s advantage

herodotus450

Will a little bit of Twisted Tea change your mind?

Horatio Cornblower

I’m sure Denis Leary could top TKITH, just as soon as he finishes writing down all their material.

JustStopDude

So…you are a fan of crippling grid lock and shitty roads?

rockingdog

playoff hockey! GOOOO SHARKS!

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litre_cola

Teething infant with a cold is the definition of hell. I question all of my life decisions.

WCS

Try that with two.

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litre_cola

I honestly can’t imagine. My balls are getting lasered next month.

Horatio Cornblower

Best. Decision. Ever.

Mr. Ayo

#StaySingle

Horatio Cornblower

Scotch on the gums. It’s what my parents did for me and look how I tur…

Just forget it.

King Hippo

#ItGetsWorse

Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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theeWeeBabySeamus

You lost me at “Be Sober”.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Also, why do you have your sign’s stick rammed down your pants you fucking freak?

Mr. Ayo

Again, try the “Be Sober” thing before asking

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Hanging out with my parents sucks less this trip than usual.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Drunk? High? Ear plugs?

Horatio Cornblower

Sounds like something Tony Perkins would have said.

Horatio Cornblower

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Yes, I’m still a tiny tad bit annoyed there’s no Caps/Jackets tonight.

Time to drink heavily and laugh at Toronto.

King Hippo

Tigres have a good keeper.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

‘member?

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theeWeeBabySeamus

That is one gorgeous female type woman person.
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King Hippo

GOOOOOOAAAAAAL de la Tigres!!

King Hippo

/fuck, gotta watch sommet

Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

Supercharge?
/Visions of fucking Tree Tops dance in my head
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theeWeeBabySeamus

Visions of fucking Tree Tops dance in my head

What is…..A first draft of ‘Twas The Night Before Christmas….?

Brick Meathook

…and John Carradine as “Igor Smith”
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Horatio Cornblower

Norman Bartold needs to have a talk with his agent.

rockingdog
herodotus450

Ooh right, playoff hockey back on
[looks at score, still first period]
[insert Grampa Simpson walk in walk out gif]

herodotus450

30 seconds later:
[Ears are bleeding from listening to luckey Pierre]

litre_cola

Heh Lucky Pierre. He wouldn’t shut his mouth long enough for 2 dudes to enjoy him.

Senor Weaselo

Why couldn’t you do that in the playoffs for the Rangers ever, Nasher?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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...

/at Cubs game when it’s in the high 30’s rainy and windy as fuck where they’re losing 10-3

“Fuck this.”

/leaves and sees the Cubs win 14-10

“Fuck me.”

JustStopDude

You know the one good thing about bombing the shit out of Syria…is Alex Jones imploding…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AcXNbkHmzEE

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Damn, I was hoping for the fatal aneurysm.

Horatio Cornblower

We all are Moose.

We all are.

Mr. Ayo

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rockingdog

bahahahaha thats rich!
GREAT funny!

Unsurprised

Don’t impugn the honor of a noble hero like LCDR Data.

The Maestro

Kapanen goes in and hits the post, and then the Bruins scoop it right back up and make it 2-0 at the other end. Fuck yes. Fuck the Leafs forever and ever.

Mr. Ayo

Three-Louve, eh?

Senor Weaselo

“Three-Louvre?” -Frenchmen

Senor Weaselo

I’d be excited about an ice touchdown being scored if not for fuck both of these teams with a rusty tire iron!

King Hippo

are Tigres any good?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

no es Perros! Tigres!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

Hot Tub Party with Alice Cooper (10 PM)
Tonight’s guests: Vincent Price, a dog

litre_cola

Delicioso if cooked properly

ballsofsteelandfury

Yes

Brick Meathook

This chart proves the point I’ve been making all along:
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spanky Datass

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450

Using excel to make graphs? Explain?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

It still throws me for a loop that there’s a professional sports team called the Pelicans.

JustStopDude

How about the New Orleans “destroyed black neighborhood that was never rebuilt after Katrina”?

King Hippo

I’d buy a Gentrification hat!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

That’s more credible given the sad truth of American history.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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