Sunday Gravy with yeah right -Sauerbraten. A Tantalizingly Tangy Teutonic Taste Treat

yeah right

yeah right

yeah right is a lifelong Vikings fan. Loves to cook but doesn’t plate. Loves to drink but hates hangovers. Loves to read. Has no regrets.
yeah right

Guten tag, Commentists.

Welcome!

Today we will once again take a culinary visit to one of my favorite food origin countries, Germany!

We’ve been down this road a couple of times already. What, with the Jagerschnitzel and Spätzle.

There was also an early recipe for German Goulash that is worth your time and effort and also features some early rudimentary food photography. Jesus, man! Fix that dark background shit next time!

Today we are going about as old school traditional German as possible. Today we are making Sauerbraten with Kartoffelklöße (potato dumplings.)

Fun German note: that “ß” that you see is called an “Eszett” and is a character used to replace the combined letters of “SZ” or “SS” when they occur in a word. Technically you can call the dumplings “kartoffelklosse” but the “ß” just looks more badass and German.

So, Sauerbraten.

This translates to “sour roast meat.” The sour comes from the fact that it’s basically a pickled pot roast. History says that this was – obviously – a way to preserve meat and the VERY traditional meat used was…

Horse.

Don’t sweat, we ain’t cooking Seabiscuit’s ass today. Although, horse is still used in this dish today in some regions of Germany.

Some origin stories trace the invention of sauerbraten back to Charlemagne in the 9th century AD, when the marinating technique was used as a way to tenderize and utilize leftover hunks of meat.

The basic thing is, the meat is marinated for DAYS in a combination of red wine, red wine vinegar, onions and pickling spices. Today’s dish was marinated for four entire goddamn days before cooking.

Don’t worry, it’s not labor intensive. You just can’t be in a fucking hurry for this.

If you’re wondering “Why in the blue fuck would I eat a sour pot roast?” Then you obviously haven’t tried a well made sauerbraten. The combination of meaty goodness, tangy wine and a sweet and sour gravy is fucking magnificent. To the uninitiated it IS a little sour but goddamn. So fucking delicious.

You know how we offset the tartness of the meat?

By adding gravy that has GINGERSNAPS in it!

Cookies in your gravy?

This one I have made a few times in the past and apart from taking up space in your fridge for the better part of the week, it’s pretty simple and worth the effort.

Shall we?

Let’s!

You’re going to need a good size vessel to marinate your meat in. Something plastic, glass or earthenware but not metal.

Yep, reactivity from the wine and vinegar with the metal. Well done folks.

I used a big ass ceramic bowl for this.

You know what would also work? The crockery from a crock pot. Just remove the crockery from the heating element, add in the roast and the marinade and cover with plastic wrap! It’s genius!

I used a 3 pound bottom round of beef for this. You actually want a little tougher cut for this dish to hold up to the duration of marination. Chuck roast might be a little too fatty.

For the marinade!

I’m going to wing it here since I didn’t use a formal recipe and just went by past experience.

About a cup of wine. I used a cabernet sauvignon and as the above photo attests I drank the rest of the bottle. Obviously use a quality wine for this.

1 cup of red wine vinegar.

About 2 tablespoons of sugar.

A handful of peppercorns – maybe 20-25?

3 bay leaves.

1/2 tablespoon of dried thyme.

1 tablespoon of cardamom – optional but I had some in the spice cabinet.

10-15 whole cloves.

1 tablespoon of allspice. If you have whole allspice berries use them instead. I used what I had on hand.

Enough water to almost cover the meat.

2 large onions – sliced.

Put all of the ingredients except the roast and the onions in the bowl and mix to combine. Next put in the roast and then add the sliced onion over the top.

Cover this TIGHTLY with plastic wrap and sock away in your refrigerator for oh, about 4 goddamn days, turning the meat over twice a day. You can go as few as 3 days and up to 5 days. After five days the meat would be a little too intense and as you will see the texture of the cooked meat will be altered and a little different than any pot roast you’ve ever had.

You know why we cover this tightly with the plastic wrap?

If you don’t, your refrigerator will smell like wine, vinegar and onions and so will everything else in it. But if that’s your thing…

At the end of the four days you will see a very different and infinitely more purple marinade and roast.

And here is the meat.

No, that is not some gnarly-ass internal organ. That’s a well marinated slab of bottom round.

Here’s a fun thing. That marinade that’s been saturating a slab of cow for four days? We will NOT be discarding it. Nope. This will be the cooking liquid as well!

Don’t give me that look. This fucker is going to cook for a long time, not to mention it has wine and vinegar and no self respecting bacteria would have a fucking chance of surviving those conditions.

Strain the marinating liquid to remove the onion and the whole spices.

Get out your trusty Dutch oven and place it over a medium heat on your stove top.

Heat your oven to 325 degrees.

We will now lightly flour the marinated roast.

Put about 2-3 tablespoons of cooking oil into the heated pan. Next add in the floured roast and brown on all sides. About 5-7 minutes per side. You can season the roast with some salt and pepper while it browns.

Remove the browned meat from the pot and let’s deglaze the pan with another pour of some red wine. Use a wooden spoon to scrape up the cooked crispy bits.

Put the roast back in the pan. Next we will be adding the strained marinade back to the pot. Add in some salt and a few more grinds of black pepper. Maybe a teaspoon of each.

Place a lid over the top and let’s cook!

You have the option here of simmering directly on your stove top over a LOW heat for about 3 hours. The advantage of this method is you can baste with the sauce as well as flip the meat over as your heart desires. If you choose this method you don’t need to pre-heat the oven.

Or, place in the pre-heated oven and let cook for about 3 hours undisturbed. The advantage to this method is you can walk the fuck away and leave this shit alone to do it’s thing.

I chose the oven method.

When the three hours are up your roast should look something like this.

Cover this beast up with some foil and let rest for a few while we make some damn gravy!

If you were to taste the cooking liquid as is at this point you should not be surprised that it tastes a lot like wine and vinegar and pickling spices and is tart as a motherfucker. Not to mention it needs to be tightened up from it’s current too-thin state. That’s where the gingersnaps come in.

Yep. Some authentic store bought gingersnaps directly from the cookie aisle at your grocery store. I briefly considered baking my own batch of gingersnaps at home but decided. Nah. The cookies are a sweetening/thickening agent for a damn gravy I don’t have to get all crazy and shit and bake some damn cookies.

Maybe another time.

You will need about 10 or so small cookies, crumbled just like the photo above. For measurements sake this is about 1/3 cup of crumbled gingersnaps. Add to the cooking liquid over a medium heat and stir. Give the gravy about 5-7 minutes to thicken. You can also add in some salt and pepper at this point but use caution. It’s easy to go overboard trying to take away the extra tartness by adding too much salt. We want some of the tartness here.

Next simply slice the cooked meat and ladle on the gravy and you’re in business.

Can you serve this over a batch of mashed potatoes? Hell yes you can. Or how about some spätzle, like from that linked recipe up there? Fucking A, Hans! Get after that!

Or!

Kartoffelklöße (potato dumplings.)

Recipe via Geniuskitchen.com

Massive assist to DJ Taj for his help with this dish. He did all of the work for this one.

2-3 large russet potatoes.

1 1/2 teaspoons of salt.

1/4 teaspoon of NUTMEG!

1/4 to 1/2 cup of all purpose flour – Note: it was about 1/4 cup here.

1/8 cup of cornstarch.

1 beaten egg.

2 slices of day old sourdough bread. Crusts trimmed.

1 tablespoon of melted butter.

1 tablespoon of oil.

First let’s cook the potatoes. Guess what? No peeling required! Put the whole potatoes in a large pot of boiling water and cook for about 45 minutes.

While the potatoes are cooking, slice the bread into 1/2″ cubes.

Important recipe variation from the linked recipe!

DON’T toast the little bread slices in the butter and oil until browned as the recipe says.

don’t be tempted by the foul crouton mistress!

Simply leave them untoasted. The bread idea is an interesting one. It gives the potato mixture something to cling to as you roll up the dumplings. Some of the recipes researched say you don’t need to do the bread center step at all! Just use the potato mixture. Also some of the reviews of those recipes without the bread center ALSO stated that the dumpling mixture dissolved and turned to goo when added to the boiling water so we erred on the side of caution here. When using the pre-toasted bread, as called for in the recipe, I found the center of the cooked dumplings had a too chewy texture due to the cooked bread. They were still delicious dumplings but they didn’t need the chewy center.

Anyway.

When your potatoes are cooked through they can be easily peeled once they’ve cooled a little.

Next we are going to put the potatoes through a ricer.

What’s a ricer?

I’m glad you asked!

this is a goddamn ricer!

Some folks swear that ricing potatoes prior to mashing them makes the best ever mashed potatoes. I will give this theory a test next time I make mashed potatoes.

If you harken back to yesteryear you will remember that I used the ricer when I made homemade gnocchi.

Sweet Jesus that gnocchi was the bees fucking knees.

Put the riced potatoes in a bowl and add in the salt and the nutmeg.

Next add in the 1/4 cup of flour, the cornstarch. Mix with your hands until you have a smooth dough and then add in the beaten egg.

To form the dumplings grab one of those UNCOOKED bits of bread and then wrap a small handful of the potato dough around it. Roll into a ball and repeat.

Once you’ve got all of the dumplings rolled up, get a pot of salted water onto a gentle boil. You don’t need a full on roiling boil here.

Drop about 4-5 dumplings into the water and cook for about 10-12 minutes time.

You don’t want to overcrowd the pan and you also don’t want the dumplings sticking to each other. We found that the dumplings will float to the surface after just a few minutes but go ahead and cook them for the allotted 10-12 minutes. Put the cooked dumplings on a plate.

Cover with a damp kitchen towel until all of the dumplings have been cooked.

Finally let’s get to the goddamn eating part!

Take a couple too-tree-four dumplings and put them on a plate. Now grab a slice or two of the cooked sauerbraten and cover everything with some of that intriguing gravy that should be nice and warm and thickened at this point.

Serve.

garnish with some parsley for extra sexiness

Dear Lord. Don’t strike me dead until I finish this plate and another plate and until I lick both plates clean.

This will blow your mind and slap your taste buds silly. Yes, it’s tart but the sweetened and salty gravy offsets that. You have the fatty richness of the roast, the insane gravy on top and those ridiculously tasty potato dumplings (with an unneeded chewy center here) that are soft, fluffy and so, so damn good.

Get yourself some German beers – while being sure to respect the Reinheitsgebot.*

Get all after this dish. Get some gravy on your shirt. Wipe your face on the tablecloth. Leave your empty beer bottles all over the floor.

Enjoy to the fullest.

Was this worth the 4 day wait and the effort?

Fuck. Yes. It was.

Thanks for reading along and being there.

It’s a pleasure to cook for you.

PEACE!

 

*German beer purity law

yeah right
yeah right
yeah right is a lifelong Vikings fan. Loves to cook but doesn't plate. Loves to drink but hates hangovers. Loves to read. Has no regrets.

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Sunday Gravy with yeah right: Pork Tenderloin. Time to Level Up – [DOOR FLIES OPEN]

[…] Remember a few weeks ago when we had sauerbraten and German potato dumplings? […]

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

comment image

I don’t think I could sign this guy….

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Seahawks and Texans strike #42 from possible Jersey numbers

scotchnaut

Snopes is telling me that the man pictured is Malcolm X.

rockingdog
rockingdog

found a funny:

*learns all Froot Loops are the same flavor regardless of color*
*sighs*
*sadly deletes 583 page PhD thesis*

King Hippo

this is gonna be where we start to see some blood on the ice, yeah?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Do hockey players synch up their cycles?

Fronkenshteen

For mah money, the best tee-vee depiction of teen depression was Darlene in season 4 of “Roseanne”.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

So I’m doing a search for web domain availability, and right on the front page of SEDO (a web auction site) it has a list of “showcase domains” that are available for a price. These include:

webmasterbator.com (€123)
driverlesschair.com ($450)
robotlawyer.com (make offer, minimum bid $50,000)

ballsofsteelandfury

How much does DFOporn go for?

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Network Solutions is currently offering “dfoporn.com” for $1.00

Yes, that’s one dollar.

This looks like a great opportunity. Buy it quick or I’ll snap it up and sell it to you for $2.00

Wakezilla

Something that is kind of bothering at the moment:

The English lesser footy league is going to have at least one team not get relegated and they’ll finish with 8 wins. 8 wins out of 38 games.

I feel like they should have a 15-20 minute golden goal rule to try and eliminate some of these ties. Maybe make both teams remove one or two players from the field to open the game up, or something. Something needs tweaking.

Or give a point for more goals scored. It’s ridiculous that Stoke has 2 fewer wins than Huddersfield Town, but they’ve score more goals and are like 8 points back.

Or regulate more teams.

ballsofsteelandfury

The alternative theory is that the EPL sucks…

I’m still laughing at ManU losing to West Brom today.

ballsofsteelandfury

Also, Warren G agrees.

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

My theory is sudden death over time, only that every 10 minutes of play, both sides lose a player.

I remember explaining this to my Polish coworker and he said it was stupid because chances are you end up with one on one (goalie vs goalie).

I could not get him to explain to me how penalty kicks are not the same fucking thing…

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Good afternoon

scotchnaut

“Really? What makes you think that? Do you have any proof?”

-the very litigious ‘Good Evening’

Wakezilla

I washed my car and it looks black, not silver and brown. So, that’s good.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I hope the rest of the Bucks-Celtics series is as fun as the first game was.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I don’t think the irony of this has ever struck me before – Michael Hutchence has a song called “The Swing”.

Gratliff

The Saginaw river is currently flowing backwards. Very normal weather.

Fronkenshteen

Wot?!

litre_cola

Mike Milbury is a national disgrace.

scotchnaut

“National Disgrace? Been there. Still doing that.”

-Roger Goodell, Gary Bettman

Wakezilla

Don’t know why Canadian hockey networks hire him. He’s not even Canadian!

Fronkenshteen

If we were in the same bar, I’d leave.

Milbury, not you. You, I enjoy thoroughly.

King Hippo

Ice Footbaw, #BFIB, and GAMBLOR. Nice Sunday afternoon, or as nice as they can get from April through July.

King Hippo

Phillies have been a GAMBLOR delight, especially in Tampa. Them fuckers can HIT.

ballsofsteelandfury

So it seems Ana Cobos:Barcelona::Carmen Boquin:Real Madrid.
comment image?resize=500%2C380
comment image

scotchnaut

/bottom pic

“I know I’m just a sex doll but your dick isn’t really that small, is it?”

scotchnaut

“Did I touch a nerve? Unlike you, of course.”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh my God.

rockingdog
rockingdog

comment image

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Bledsoe got faked out so bad that he realized there wasn’t enough time left in the game for him to even get into the same zip code as Rozier, so he just stayed put.

rockingdog
rockingdog

overtime? overtime!

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m seriously shocked that people still watch the NBA.

King Hippo

j’aussi

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That three-pointer by Morris was straight out of Kobe Bryant’s playbook.

rockingdog
rockingdog

Brogdon with the 3 to tie it! Oh shit!

Gratliff

Gonna be some fuckery in Philly today

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

If I could somehow go back in time and tell 12 Year Old Me that we would live to see the day that Bon Jovi got inducted into The Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame I'd say "Who the fuck cares, when do we get to touch a boob?"

— Mike Polk Jr. (@mikepolkjr) April 15, 2018

https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

scotchnaut

The reason I love this movie is because my father was the distant sort that happened to have boxed when he was younger. He really opened up when we watched this together.

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

I’m watching the O’s in Boston…and its hilarious seeing baseball players layered up like the kids from “A Christmas Story”…

comment image

Game Time Decision
Game Time Decision

are the extra layers against the unwritten rules?

/sun’s out, guns out

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I am so hungover right now.

scotchnaut

“HOW HUNGOVER ARE YOU?”

-Audience

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So hungover that Barbara Bush just offered me her spot at hospice, saying I look like I need it more than she does.

litre_cola

Tough but fair.

scotchnaut

“Now that’s edgy!”

-Bill Hicks

ballsofsteelandfury

Is your ass sore?

scotchnaut

/Arnie’s “Eraser” movie is playing in the background
//Interestingly, Ren & Stimpy covered this a few years earlier

rockingdog
rockingdog

stpuid copyright

King Hippo

Thor (on MLBN) has K’d 6 in a row.

King Hippo

7

scotchnaut

“Nice.”

-David Fincher

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“That reminds me of the time I D’d six in a row” – Rex Grossman

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

This Bristol race is never going to happen.

Is it just me or has this winter/spring been batshit crazy?

scotchnaut

My little (supposed) piece of paradise hasn’t had a ‘normal’ spring for three years now.

litre_cola

We are getting 10 cms of snow tomorrow. It has been fucking insane this year.

theeWeeBabySeamus

That’s less than four inches to ‘Murricans.
/looks down

Shit…10cms does sound better.

ballsofsteelandfury

– B. Favre

Gratliff

We’re in the middle of an unprecedented two day long ice storm that has crippled transportation in the region, combined with winds that have brought lake coastal water up as much as 3 feet, and caused every river in the region to crest. In mid-april.

Game Time Decision
Game Time Decision

march: no snow or very little and mild, so took snow tires off last week
April: snow every day, cold and in the middle of an ice storm.

Oldest is in a school band that had a performance about 1.5 hours east of us today. They all went out on Friday to practice for the concert. Supposed to get kid today after the concert, so knowing the roads were going to be shit, drove out yesterday to be close and got a hotel for the night about 30 minutes away from the concert hall ( it’s in a tiny town with no where to stay). Only to find out about 3 hours after checking in that they cancelled the concert and that all the roads to get to the tiny town were closed due to the freezing rain and that the school would be getting a bus on Monday. So now, turn around and drive home in the dark and snow and freezing rain.

tl;dr: $200 dollar fast food dinner and 4 hours of white knuckle driving

/ fuck you spring

litre_cola

The look on the horse’s face made me laugh way too hard.

scotchnaut

Speaking of Bond Girls-no one ever mentions Lotte Lenya…

scotchnaut

Just in case you think she’s just a hotel employee with a knife on the tip of her shoe, here she is singing “Pirate Jenny” from The Threepenny Opera”.

rockingdog
rockingdog

found an afternoon funny:

The latest teen YouTube challenge is to eat 10 Taco Bell bean burritos then go see A Quiet Place.

scotchnaut

One of the best jokes that I still laugh at:

“Whatta ya mean, I didn’t win the bar contest? I ate more wet t-shirts than anyone else!”

King Hippo

MOAR LIEK Silent But Deadly Place imo godbless

rockingdog
rockingdog

comment image

Game Time Decision
Game Time Decision

still think that one would be better off eating a Tide pod, then Taco Bell

theeWeeBabySeamus

My redneck uncle who just showed up unannounced while I’m feeding my ducks…

Uncle: I’d really like to shoot those ducks.
Me: I fucking dare you.
Uncle: I’m just trying to say I’d like to go duck hunting again someday and…
Me: I don’t give a shit what you’re trying to say. You just threatened my ducks. I know you’re carrying. Go ahead and try. See if you can draw it before I cut your dick off.

Yes, redneck uncle left soon after that.

I’m sick of these fuckers.

scotchnaut

For some reason I have a mental image of you as a Bond-type super villian sitting in an over-sized chair-

Seamus: [slowly petting a duck] “All of my plans are coming together. I can’t believe you doubted me, Mr. Quackers.”

Mr. Quackers: [quacks]

Seamus: “WHAT DO YOU MEAN, HE GOT AWAY? AND HE FUCKED MY MISTRESS? GODDAMNIT!”

Mr. Quackers: [shakes head slowly]

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hehehehe. I could live with that scenario.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Those ducks love me more than any human on the planet does.

Don’t show up at my house and threaten my ducks.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

What if we do it from afar?

theeWeeBabySeamus

comment image

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I like that the dog gets away.

theeWeeBabySeamus

LMFAO…I didn’t even notice the dog before.

Yay.

scotchnaut

You and the dog have a good eye.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“I like this story.” – Marcus Mariota

Wakezilla

Oh boy, Leafs social media is full of irrational meltdowns right now. I’ve seen people call for Babcock to get fired because he’s a shitty coach. Lol.

It’ll be a shame when the Leaves rally and win two in Toronto

Game Time Decision
Game Time Decision

i soooo hope this does not happen, the Leafs winning. indifferent to the coach getting fired

King Hippo

Fitting the way City have played the last month-ish that they should back into the title thanks to West Fookin’ Brom winning at Old Trafford. Finally, some legitimate Premiership magic.

Wakezilla

Shades of the Vikings that one year they lost into a wildcard spot?

King Hippo

indeed. But almost as if #ThePauls won in Gilette

scotchnaut

Title That Caused Me To Slightly Guffaw Just Now:

“GI Jews: Jewish Americans in World War 2.”

/it’s on PBS at 2pm.

King Hippo

the Kosher American heeeeeerrrrooooo

Wakezilla

Yeesh

Fronkenshteen

Challah!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Several members of my family served.

King Hippo

$30 on West Brom @ +1000 (2-way) right before the corner. 😀

King Hippo

though with my free roll, I bet WBA to win the first HALF, not the whole game. Was mad the line moved from +1800 to +1600 overnight. Still woulda been $800.

King Hippo

Young Boys being stretched to the limit….by FC Zurich.

/get yer minds out the gutter ,, smh

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

Fronkenshteen

When I was growing up, my Dad’s favorite restaurant was a German place called Pumpernickel’s in Northport, NY. I’m gonna surprise him with this recipe next time he visits from Michigan. Cheers!… or Prost!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m uncomfortable with any type of German purity law

MitchKissingTitsbisky
MitchKissingTitsbisky

So much tasty alliteration.

blaxabbath

Hmmmm….this one may take more commitment than Josh McDaniels can give a recipe.

rockingdog
rockingdog

found a funny:
I keep opening the refrigerator like my hopes and dreams are in there.

herodotus450
herodotus450

[In best Steve Irwin voice]
No, THIS is a ricer
comment image
/Steve who?

theeWeeBabySeamus

In the words of Early Cuyler….
Dear Lawddy, that looks gooder than hayul!!!