INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY.
A grizzled old man settles into the chair behind the microphone. He looks through the glass at the GUEST PRODUCER, who has been silently staring at him since his arrival at the station. The grizzled old man starts to talk but wisely thinks better of it and waits for the man on the other side of the glass to make the first move. Finally, after a stretch of time that only feels like an entire 4th quarter comeback attempt that fails miserably at the last ill-timed moment, the GUEST PRODUCER punches a button marked TALKBACK, glares, then releases the button and pulls open the studio door and pokes his head inside.
GUEST PRODUCER: To be clear, I hate you.
BRETT FAVRE: [As intelligible as he can muster] Hoosawassafrassinfuss?
GUEST PRODUCER: I’m sitting in today to run this show, and I don’t want you to muck it up. It’s my first time filling in as guest producer, and unlike some–or all–the teams that play in East Rutherford, New Jersey, I have expectations that rise above just not shitting yourself.
FAVRE: Wuzzagahtalkahdifon?
GUEST PRODUCER: He took the week off. Something about a religious emergency.
FAVRE: Wimmutyut?
GUEST PRODUCER: No, we haven’t met.
FAVRE: Geeshucks, sooooayeyahatinmah?
GUEST PRODUCER: Well first of all, I’m hungover. Yesterday was my birthday, and if I’d known I’d spend the morning after with you, I would have just kept drinking through tonight.
FAVRE: Daggumhuppabuddah, djeetgud? Baddatimedasnight, datwhyyahatin?
GUEST PRODUCER: Shut up. You know what you did.
FAVRE: Datnamwihawtchickychickyflashcroc?
GUEST PRODUCER: I mean, yeah, that was horrendous and you should be ashamed of yourself, but that ain’t it either.
FAVRE: Zitcuzahtrytahodedamicafone?
GUEST PRODUCER: Actually, the fact that you were so terrible in your audition for MNF that you had to deny interest is decent schadenfraude, but yeah, what made you even think you could handle being live on television every week?
FAVRE: /shrugs Yanomahboiturryburdshuhduzit.
GUEST PRODUCER: Uh, fuck Terry Bradshaw. And fuck me, I’m going to get fired since we let the first 5 minutes of the program be dead air. At least I won’t spend the next few years hinting at returning to this job after I walk out the door.
FAVRE: :stares blankly:
GUEST PRODUCER: Well, fire it up and try not to fuck things up too badly.
The GUEST PRODUCER angrily returns to the booth, slams the door, and lets the disdain drop from his countdown before pushing a button on the console.
FAVRE: :clears throat: Howdy, folks, I’m BrittFar and I’m gonna take some calls and sling songs all over the airwaves today. Lotsa tunes out there sound like one thing when maybe they mean another. So let’s hear some requests for songs where maybe you thunk you know the words but really di’int. Or maybe they’re like me, generally misunderstood, like a downhome country boy nestling up to his favorite hog on a cold night. Golly, this sure seems like fun. So let’s kick things off with that classic Nirvana song about Dan Marino, another gun-slinger with no behavioral shortcomings or desire to be on TV anymore!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6r7vs6Zgz8
“She’s got electric boobs, a bowl of soup, you know I read it in a magazine..”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p5rQHoaQpTw
“Hold me closer, Tony Danza….”
(damn you Phoebe!!!!!!!)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KBWfUc5jKiM
ELECTRIC BOOBS THIS ONE SAYS?!?!
I didn’t know there was a cartoon version of Dune available…
I don’t know what she’s singing…and I’m not sure I really care.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DUT5rEU6pqM
“Kickin’ your cat all over the place”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tJYN-eG1zk
I’m not sure if I can’t understand what he says, or the lyrics themselves are nonsense.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJ9rUzIMcZQ
“Excuse me, while I kiss this guy”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZGc4TLyr9yc
Ahem, already posted that, sir.
I scrolled back but must have missed it.
Apologies, Good Sir.
In my youth (sort of) a good friend of mine and I were high as shit one night. Shocking, I know.
We got the munchies and decided to make grilled cheese. As we’re about to butter the slices of bread, this song comes on while the aforementioned friend is looking for a butter knife.
Of course, being the asshole he is, he began singing “Can’t find a butter knife”. And now, I always hear that when this song plays. I love the guy like a brother, but I’ll never forgive him for that shit.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbpUfWz-rlc
For years, I thought “You could cut ties with all the lies that you’ve been living in” was “You could capsize that boat of lies that you’ve been living in”.
I still like mine better.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRYZijLZR-Q
I presume I’d get beaten severely if I post every REM song from the early 80s.
But yeah, they all pretty much fit.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vktKyXaiSWA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gjdLAsnR_Ws
Here’s the very definition of a late round steal.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uYWYWPc9HU
And double shot, triple shot etc. to your hearts content.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XFkzRNyygfk
I’m pretty sure the thought behind this song was “make up your own lyrics as you sing a long.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rDZwRI4SFI
Maybe I’m hungry whenever I hear this song, otherwise why would I think it’s “Baking Carrot Biscuits?”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mmwic9kFx2c
“It feels so good it’s like walkin’ the glass.” Am I mishearing that or does it just not make any sense? Do any of the lyrics to this song make sense?
Anyhow, until today I always thought in the chorus they were saying “Get set!”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZG_k5CSYKhg
This version’s a little more clear:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tDGMdrOmTvQ
That was a rather bizarre rabbit-hole I started down…
They’re a lot of fun.
I’m gonna DOUBLE SHOT this up – I can understand like maybe one of ten words in the chorus.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=32bdevGClD4
“Trussee-was-my-way-aiiii…”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ps317u9Rhl0
Double it! LISTERINE!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hOllF3TgAsM
One of my favorite dude-sounds-like-a-girl-singing-and-I-can’t-understand-what-he/she’s-saying songs.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z-mxBDuRaZ8
It’s Van Morrison doing the official musical genre of Germans. Scat!!!
Not that it sounds all that much different from the rest of his songs.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eEFPX-uTbkI
And someone made a supercut of all the times he does it on albums.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BlQ_EkPWMHM
I can’t believe this dropped so far.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=StlMdNcvCJo
From Way back in the deep memory banks.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SZclLDlcXO0
DOUBLE SHOT. I really thought he was trying to keep his cheese dry.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3qVPNONdF58
A band, that like Sublime, I would have loved to see what they would’ve done for their follow up albums.
They were a real shot in the arm.
Hey oh!!!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=59K2kF6o9Tk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yceCikawweA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RIJwXgNdWbI
something something NINETEEN SIXTY FIIIIIVVVVVEE YEAH
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yPNFVj-pISU
I guess technically any song sung by Shane MacGowen would qualify.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4v6aNjGFFk
Well it’s hard to be clear when your teeth are fighting to escape your mouth.
To be fair, it’s be like being in a prison where half the other inmates have already busted out. Of course you’d try too!
Britney Spears- “If you seek Amy”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0aEnnH6t8Ts
This one fits. It’s TITLE is a misheard lyric.
What happens when a Swedish metal band mishears “San Antone?”
And good luck with any of the lyrics.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5mV_HHL-h6g
And credit to tWBS when he likes a song that is good. This rocks but I didn’t know she was singing about bombs until like a year ago. And then she died, so my bad.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=6Ejga4kJUts&feature=youtu.be
“And their booms and their goons.”
Will this be my tWBS musical taste pick of the week?
https://youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=1OrNS2zbTZg
Dude.
https://youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=RL1Vcn8yX1g
Dude.
Yes, I like some bad shit. But not that bad.
Beastie Boys Doubleshot Pt1!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ilnnMzK_m8w
And Act B!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5rRZdiu1UE
Hawtchickychickyflashcroc? I love that guy! He’s my favorite DFO writer.
The only lyrics I ever paid attention to were, “Have another hit” and “Fresh Air”, never really understood the rest of the song.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vUHlxBZMiqw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fC_q9KPczAg
Also known as “how long I expect Rudy Giuliani to remain as part of Trump’s legal team”.
Only lyric anyone knows is LEONARD BERNSTEIN
https://youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=Z0GFRcFm-aY
Who cares, it jams.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g8zsm1b2i-4
DOUBLE IT UP since I never read Tolkien and was confused as fuck by the lyrics growing up:
https://youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=_h9MxNn8P7w
https://youtube.com/watch?v=fjwWjx7Cw8I&feature=youtu.be
“I could have sworn it was ‘excuse me while I kiss this guy.’ Man, is my face red…”
– Anonymous
PLOT TWIST: “Anonymous” is actually Mike Shanahan
Gentlemen.
Happy 4/20.
Really??
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCkHanF4v1w
Great value pick!
If you ever listen to the album, this is one side and the other side sounds like Spinal Tap’s pop song “Cups and Cakes”, must be where they got the inspiration.
Off to find my Iron Butterfly and Spinal Tap CDs.
That sounds like rock AND/OR roll.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6W5pq4bIzIw
Not Shaggy, but the other guy, Rikrok
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qv5fqunQ_4I
Frankly, I’m disappointed this is still on the board:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YgSPaXgAdzE
P.S. saw someone sing this at karaoke and THE KARAOKE MACHINE HAD THE WRONG LYRICS
Just a no-good hornswogglin’ cracker-croaker…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=33ptulhhQPg
Exactly how should a douche be wrapped up?
From BFC’s post, it looks like they wrapped him in album cover with his picture on it.
DOUBLE IT UP with Bruce:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=yjxbOe7p8C0
Via the illustrious Dr. Mrs. Deadly, Esquire:
“There’s a bathroom on the right…”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5BmEGm-mraE
Wife’s a doc??? I could use some Oxy and/or medical-grade hashish.
J.D.
Oh, ok. In that case, I’ve been having some trouble with some pictures I sent across state lines, and the fascists at the FBI are talking about “child endangerment” or some bullshit so if she has some advice or whatever
Is this song about getting high? No! It’s clearly about martyrdom. But then you do the math of 12 x 35 and wonder…is it really?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8qAZTrwLMxo
WHAH BLA YOU WHA GOO CANNONBALL!
(Oh, to have been the meat in a 90s Deal sisters sandwich)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxvkI9MTQw4
“Yep.” – Conan O’Brien
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PghwbxtcJo8&feature=youtu.be&t=3m20s
Hadn’t seen that – good for Conan!
My thoughts upon reading BFC’s work here:
“NOBODY UPSTAGES LITTLE RIKKI! (hisses)”
I’m ever so pissed!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lP94PlEtsEQ
For decades I thought this song’s lyrics said something about the F.B.I., but I always thought I was just mis-hearing them because I could barely understand half the lyrics anyway. About six months ago I looked it up and I’ll be damned they really do say “F.B.I.”
Also, nice job, substitute teacher! Reading this was like trying to translate one of the old Emmitt columns.
There’s real information there! It’s not just pure gibberish!
It’s like BFC resurrected one of my old puzzle posts!
What’s so hard about “Rockin’ the cat’s box.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bJ9r8LMU9bQ
Start with a classic
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4V1p1dM3snQ
“Hush hush…even downtown…it’s so scary…”
– Chip Kelly, when asked about his thoughts on racial segregation in Philadelphia
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uejh-bHa4To
Counterpoint: free beers.
That’s a nice catch, and a good thing, too. Getting hit with an unopened beer is like getting hit by twenty batteries at once.
I never noticed that. Yeah, that would’ve sucked.
Fifty years later and I’m still not sure of the lyrics.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=clJb4zx0o1o
So you’re saying…
What are you saying?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hs8y3kneqrs
Rikki asked me what songs I thought would work best with this theme, and I said “the entire Pearl Jam catalog.”