Request Line: Better Living Through Chemistry

INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY.

The PRODUCER and DJ3000 are standing outside the recording booth.

DJ3000: SO THIS IS REALLY IT?

PRODUCER: This is really it.

DJ3000: NO TRICKS THIS TIME?

PRODUCER: I promise.

DJ3000: BECAUSE OTHER TIMES I THOUGHT…

PRODUCER: Not this time. This time it’s the real deal.

DJ3000: [sighs happily]

PRODUCER: Almost air time. You ready?

DJ3000: I WAS MANUFACTURED READY.

PRODUCER: Why don’t you head on into the recording booth, good sir?

DJ 3000 rolls into the recording booth, having to turn sideways in order to fit through the doorway.  He settles in front of the console as the PRODUCER gets set by the exterior controls.  

PRODUCER: And we are live in five…four…

DJ3000: CRITICAL SYSTEMS UPDATE DOWNLOADED.

PRODUCER: Wait, what?

DJ3000: SYSTEM REBOOT SCHEDULED IN EIGHT SECONDS.

PRODUCER: Cancel update! Cancel update!

DJ3000: ABORT, RETRY, FAIL?

PRODUCER: Abort! Abort! [realizes show has started, hammers button furiously] Hello folks, and welcome to Request Line! I’m here with your host DJ3000 in his radio debut, and he’s having a bit of stage fright, so…

DJ3000: INSTALLING SYSTEM UPDATES.

PRODUCER: Phew.  Well, this should…

DJ3000: THREE PERCENT COMPLETE.

PRODUCER: Oh, come on!

DJ3000: THREE POINT FOUR PERCENT COMPLETE…

PRODUCER: Okay, so it looks like DJ3000 is…

DJ3000: THREE POINT SIX PERCENT COMPLETE…

PRODUCER: …out of action for a bit.  Which is a shame, because I was looking forward to talking about the upcoming season of Robot Wars…[glances at DJ3000, hoping the factual mistake will shake him loose, but no such luck]…instead let’s get right to the music.  Today’s theme is “chemistry”.  I’m talking about elements, reactions, solutions, that kind of stuff.  Let’s mix it up!

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

VERY belated entry inspired by nomonkeyfun’s White Rabbit reminder:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=X_F3pcZutpQ&feature=youtu.be

ALXMAC
ALXMAC
ALXMAC
theeWeeBabySeamus

Credit to SiriusXM for the first, to be honest.
But I did then remember the second.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised
SonOfSpam

We are stardust, we are golden, we are billion year old carbon.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HKdsRWhyH30

Beerguyrob

A salient point about conservation.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wX2wrXwe8ZM

theeWeeBabySeamus

Damn me. I can’t believe I forgot this one.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WRPbsW5j8bo

LemonJello

Alcohol IS a solution, right?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q3zkkLckeyM

BrettFavresColonoscopy

To everything

SonOfSpam

/puts on stylish suit
//coifs long-ish hair
///makes sure the room is arranged just so

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ntG50eXbBtc

theeWeeBabySeamus

The LD50 of many chemicals is lower than you might think.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iywaBOMvYLI

BrettFavresColonoscopy

/puts on pedant hat

Lots of physics rather than chemistry in this bunch

/takes off pedant hat
//belches

SonOfSpam

Where does one buy a pedant hat?

– J. Sandusky

theeWeeBabySeamus

Little Column A, Little Column B

King Hippo

I wanted to fuck my Chem 101 lab partner at NC State. Like really, really badly (yes, that phrasing works both ways).

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ha!!!! #metoo

I did with my Chem 107. She was awesome.

SonOfSpam

He must’ve been dreamy.

SonOfSpam

Have this on a cassette somewhere

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wgu1nMo02SE

SonOfSpam

Shoulda had this one in a while ago.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3973tfsllqw

SonOfSpam

Please note: Anyone who double-shots this with the fucking Imagine Dragons song of the same name will be dealt with in a harsh manner.

yeah right

God bless you for protecting our sanctity.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Holding back on rickrolling this

theeWeeBabySeamus

It just dawned on me…Au. Gold. There’s a goldmine there, no pun intended.

But here’s a couple. You guys can fill in the rest.
(Also, silver is Ag)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vwNcNOTVzY

BrettFavresColonoscopy

DOUBLE UP THOSE FIELDS OF GOLD

https://youtube.com/watch?v=9UVjjcOUJLE

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Slavery is not a choice, but listening to Kanye thankfully is.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

DOUBLE IT UP

/checks youtube
//no Beatles, only covers
///cries

FUCK YOU, MICHAEL JACKSON’S ESTATE