World Cup Elimination Sunday Open Thread

We arrive at Day 2 of the Knockout Stage with France and Uruguay safely through to the Quarterfinals.  Who will join them today?

LET’S WATCH!

Game The First

Spain v Russia

7 AM Pacific, Luzhniki Stadium,  Moscow

Balls: On paper,  this should be a breeze for Spain to advance. Russia is just not that talented and showed it in an embarrassing loss to Uruguay. Spain has not hit its stride yet and may start scaring people after this one.

Predicción: España 3 Rusia 0

Hippo: Hopefully, this is kind of an ass whoopin, and probably will be.  That said, Spain has underwhelmed, and FIFA will want to tickle the host’s balls a little bit, because that’s how FIFA roll.

Predicción: Spain limps on, 2-1.

Litre_Cola: Ok, enough dicking around. Spain will pass around these guys and not be intimidated in the least with having to play in Russia. Russia was the lowest ranked team coming in. Russia had their moment in the sun winning those 2 games. They are done. If they wouldn’t mind taking out Ramos while they are busy getting passed around that would be just great.

Predicción: España 4 – 1 Russiya It has been fun Russia, but goodbye. When do we hear about the PED tests?

Wakezilla: Like most favorites in this tournament, Spain struggled in the group stage, but ultimately managed to clinch first.  Most importantly for Spain, is that Costa and Isco are starting to play well. If they can build on their group stage performances, Spain is going to be a scary team to play. Moreover, what a lot of people are not talking about right now is the fact that while David de Gea gave up a softy that cost Spain three points against Portugal, he has been perfectly cromulent the rest of the way. What is concerning for Spain, however, is their defense. I just watched the Spain/Morocco highlights and holy shit, they made a lot of costly turnovers and De Gea bailed them out. Neither of the two goals he gave up were his fault. While Russia aren’t known for their deadly strikers, if Spain keeps turning the ball over, Golovin or Cheryshev will eventually burn them.

As for Russia, they’re just happy to be in the round of 16. They have home field advantage and if what we saw with Ronaldo is any indication, Russian fans are likely going to be hanging outside of Spain’s hotel, making lots of noise to ensure they don’t get a lot of sleep.

Predicción: As we saw yesterday, we’re at the phase of the tournament where things get a little more predictable. Russia having home field advantage will likely keep this game close. Factor in Golovin now expected to sign with Chelski and I suspect this will be a spirited affair. However, Spain is too talented and this is a type of game that could really propel them into finding their top form. In a score that will flatter the Rooskies, Spain will win 2-1. Lets say Isco and Costa will score for Spain, while Cheryshev capitalizes on a Spanish turnover.

 

Game The Second

Croatia v Denmark

11 AM Pacific,  Nizhny Novgorod Stadium,  Nizhny Novgorod

Balls: Of all the teams that could bother the Croatians,  Denmark is one of the most dangerous. That’s not to say the Danes play well or pretty football.  They don’t.

What they do is effectively kill the opposing offense’s creativity and score on the counterattack. Sweden does the same thing and Sweden is also in the Round of 16.

Croatia will need to play an almost perfect game and have a moment or two of genius to overcome the Danes. Ideally,  the Croats will score first and then laugh as the Danes can’t create on offense.

Prediction: This game ends one of two ways: Either a tight and tense 1-0 win for Croatia or a 0-0 tie that goes to penalties in which Denmark goes through.

Hippo: There’s no doubt that Croatia, along with the Waffles, played the most flawless Lesser Footy in the Group stages.  But I am also a yuuuuuuggggge Christian Eriksen fan, and he has elevated this Denmark side significantly.  There’s a combination of precision, creativity, and discipline that is very dangerous – especially if the Murder Checkerboards (h/t Balls, methinks) are caught looking ahead.

Predicción: 1-1 Draw (Denmark advances on PKs)

If only Denmark played a style of lesser footy that was as sexy as their fans.

Wakezilla: On paper, Denmark being unbeaten in their last 16 games is impressive. But the truth is, they’re everything that’s wrong with international lesser footy. They’re unbeaten in 16 because they play—albeit really well—a boring, systematic defensive game. It’s not like they don’t have talented players, because they do (see: Eriksen, Christian). Don’t get me wrong, I love it when non-traditional lesser footy powers have success–just not when they play an “I-rather-watch-paint-dry” boring type of game. Even how they advanced to the round of 16 is boring because they tied 2 games, won one, and scored a whopping 2 goals. In all honesty, Denmark didn’t deserve to beat Peru. Fuck Denmark and their shit lesser footy.

Before the tournament began, I picked Croatia as my darkhorse to win the World Cup. So far, they are the only team that has made me look good. They are a well-balanced team that is currently rolling. They played tougher opponents than Denmark and I think playing Iceland gave them a preview of what to expect from the Danes.

Proricanje: Croatia is one of the most consistent teams in this tournament and have the talent and patience to wait out Denmark’s bullshit defensive system. Consequently, Croatia is going to win an incredibly boring 1-0 match, with Rakitic scoring in the 88th minute.

Litre_Cola: For me this game basically comes down to Eriksen vs Modric. Who can take over the game and run the offense. Both players are adept passers and lethal when given space. I think that this is an even matchup. They have only met 5 times in the past so there is not a history there. I think  that this will be a boring 1st half and then it will open up in the 2nd half.

Forudsigelse: Denmark 1 – Hrvatska 0 the ole Twbs, with 5 of 8 minutes of injury time added on.

Look at these beauties.
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ballsofsteelandfury
Balls somehow lost his bio and didn't realize it. He's now scrambling to write something clever and failing. He likes butts, boobs, most things that start with the letter B, and writing in the Second Person. Geelong, Toluca, Barcelona, and Steelers, in that order.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

You’re taking your posts to another dimension…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5akEgsZSfhg

Spanky Datass
scotchnaut

My “Boring!” comment is following me everywhere. Little help?

Mr. Ayo

tWBS is haunting you.

Wakezilla

This is Andressa Urach. She is known for being a stalker of Ronaldo. Dude has a tough life

http://flashstar.skaipatras.gr/site/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/bizadio.jpg

scotchnaut

ZZ Top thinks she’s got legs.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Wakezilla

Just a bit outside

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tomsellecksmoustache

The true Argentinian GOAT.

scotchnaut

“Love to get my hand of god on her.”

-Maradona

scotchnaut

Yurary got himself some acting chops.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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LemonJello

Never get the security deposit back carrying on like that.

Wakezilla

This game has been surprisingly chippy. Any backstory to this, or, do both teams consist of players who talk trash? I see a lot of shit talking out there.

litre_cola

Only played against each other 5 times ever

scotchnaut

I want this ref and Ed Hochuli to have an old man drinking contest. Not sure where it will go and I like that.

Mr. Ayo

Such flippant remarks are why meatspin exists

Wakezilla

Damn. Peter Schmeichal looks like he could still play

Wakezilla

Croatia is being way too cautious. They should try and end this in 90 minutes

litre_cola

I am Hippo level angry about Russia beating Spain. There is something shady going on sheeple!

scotchnaut

I heard that all the frogs in Russia are gay.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Wakezilla

If Croatia goes up 3-1 and their key players with 1 yellow magically get another in the last few minutes, we’ll be through the looking glass

bk109

Or, y’know – Spain (that played like shit in the group stage) are shit?

Wakezilla

He’s joking

bk109

Yeah, my eye for spotting satire and any other form of nuanced statements went the way of my liver like… 2 hours ago 😀 Spain really was shit,tho (and thus tanked my 20 bucks on them going all the way bet)

Brick Meathook

Are the all Canadians off celebrating Canada Day? It’s also Memorial Day in Newfoundland, commemorating when the Royal Newfoundland Regiment suffered 700 casualties on the morning of July 1, 1916, during a frontal assault on the first day of the Battle of the Somme. My grandfather was in that unit, and he was wounded a week before and evacuated to London. If he hadn’t I probably wouldn’t be here.

scotchnaut

Nah, I’m getting drunk, watching soccer and amusing myself. It’s what your grandfather would have wanted.

Brick Meathook

Depends on how you’re amusing yourself. My grandfather had 15 kids; that man was on the job.

scotchnaut

[Salutes Brick’s Grandmother’s birth canal]

Brick Meathook

Yeah, I guess she has to get some credit too.

scotchnaut

At least 70% as much as grandpa.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Your grandpa introduced you to DFO?

Brick Meathook

Those were his dying words, 10 years before I was born.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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litre_cola

Just got home from a Canada Day thing. Can confirm still a country.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

“Hello Dali!”

Don T

Don’t jump! Say, do you know the way to the muffler store? NOOOOOOOO!!!!

LemonJello

Pink or Stink?

/he’s also missing a digit

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The small finger is behind.

*or taken by his bookie, same one Hippo uses.

yeah right

For those keeping track at home, I released Sonny Gray from my fantasy baseball team.

herodotus450

Did he have bees in his mouth?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo

Another ringing endorsement for Colon Blow!

scotchnaut

“His name might be Luka but this is a much better(?) song about child abuse”-Natalie Merchant

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m39DWVFK-Bw

Spur

Croatia is so fucking fierce

bk109

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Wakezilla

Croatia forgetting that not everyone has a goalie as shitty as Argentina’s goaltending with those weak shots on net.

Spur

So LeBron goes to philly. Philly trades for Kawhi. Spurs get zhaire, saric, heat pick and 2020 philly 1st. Everyone but the Lakers get what they want.

I’m ok with this.

Wakezilla

That’d be insane, but no way that’d happen (Cap reasons)

scotchnaut

“I like this ‘Tito Football’ the Croatians play.”

-Johan Cruyff

King Hippo
Spur

why isn’t Croatia wearing their tablecloth kits?

Wakezilla

Because they beat Argentina 3-0 wearing them? That would honestly be my guess

Wakezilla

What a pleasant surprise to this game.

I thought FIFA changed the rules about Yellow cards? Like, once they got to the round of 16, they were wiped out?

Don T

For the semis. So no one could miss the final except for a red.

Wakezilla

That’s ridiculous. Maybe have it reset at the Round of 16. The semis is way too long. Or, make it so it’s 180 minutes after the card has been issue

King Hippo

rule should be wiped out completely. It’s stupid.

King Hippo

earned this by sitting through that first match

Sharkbait

This.

Mr. Ayo

SALADS FOR ALL!

scotchnaut

PAELLA FOR NO ONE!

King Hippo

Banana. Meet. Cakes.

LemonJello

Agreed. Bananacakes Mode: Engaged.

scotchnaut

“BORING!”

-tWBS

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

DENMARKIA!

King Hippo

Danes WOO!!!!

bk109

That was quick

King Hippo

Black Death unis may NAWT be lucky?

bk109

given that they equalized equally quickly,perhaps they are

scotchnaut

A Quickie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

herodotus450

YESSS! Tyler Bozak signs with St. Louis. Now he’s a Blues Bozak.
/And they signed a Johnson to go with him

Senor Weaselo

Generalissimo Franco must be rolling in his grave. (In related news, Generalissimo Franco is still dead.)

Don T

I hope Croatia breaks out the killer duds they had against ARG.

Don T

YES! The black says murder, the checkerboard “by cholesterol”. Go Unlimited Salads!

Senor Weaselo

Murder By Cholesterol sounds like a fantasy team!
/Or it reminds me of band based from my alma mater, Murder By Scooter.

herodotus450

“Defense? We don’t need no stinkin defense.”
-Mapple Leafs

scotchnaut

I’m a big fan of the chunkier soccer kids that are paraded out pre-game.

bk109

Well, err… that statement is not in any way disturbing

scotchnaut

You can chase them down so easily because they’re so full of chocolate.

Don T

Dude, that’s Grimm.

Mr. Ayo

Settle down Jared

scotchnaut

I was told to ‘eat fresh’, after all.

Spur

A Denmark vs Sweden World Cup semi final would be fun.

Wakezilla

I’d rather watch something Adam Sandler made in the 2010s

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Wakezilla

Breaking: Tavares signs with the Ice Argos.

Combine this with the fact England has a real shot at making the Finals and we’re entering the darkest of dark timelines.

scotchnaut

[Hears distant “SPLOOSH” noise]

scotchnaut

Sometimes things work out okay-I let go a huge Leafs fan just a few weeks ago. Now I don’t have to listen to his blathering.

Senor Weaselo

It does mean we get to laugh at Ice Jets fans though. In addition to the Barclays Center fiasco.

JustStopDude

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Don T

Spain plays a possession yo-yo game and don’t shoot—and this is on Russia or FIFA… HOW? More ballast for Coatia is good.
Barkeep! A double schnappdenfreudes, one for Ramos and one for the WSJ.
https://www.wsj.com/articles/the-occasional-brilliance-of-bad-sportsmanship-1528894907?mod=e2tw

JustStopDude

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Don T

BTW that article is such agenda-driven hackery that it mentions Ramos’s taking out Salah as GOOD, and Zidane’s head butt in Germany 2006. But makes no mention of Marco Materazzi, MR. SAVVY DOUCHEBAGGERY who goaded Zizou into a red card.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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JustStopDude

Russia fucks with the US election…that isn’t hard.

This result?

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Okay..I’m fucking impressed with Putin’s pull…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He didn’t even have to pull the thread to make the sleeve come off, in a manner of speaking.

bk109

Stop whinging about Russian meddling in the US elections and start worrying that the meddling (not saying alleged, because every big country fucks with its rivals’ internal politics) was so inept yet embraced by the “too dumb to live” key electoral block

Horatio Cornblower

The lowest ranked team in the tournament is in the Final 8. In Russia. Where the lowest ranked team is from.

FIFA everybody!

bk109

And Spain doing fuckall for 120 minutes is also somehow FIFA’s fault? Face it – Spain did their best inner Cleveland Browns imitation, so they were rightly thrown out.

King Hippo

Biggest upset in knockout stage? Technically, it was just a draw.

– Pedantic Putin-hating Hippo

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Don T

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clint greasewood

Importantly, one of Russia, Croatia, Denmark, Switzerland, Sweden, Colombia or England WILL be World Cup finalists

King Hippo

I feel great about it being Coca Bros.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Don T

The James injury report was no tears on the calf muscles. No woed on if he’ll play against ENG.

Wakezilla

Holy shit, I can’t believe Russia won. Anyone calling shenanigans?

King Hippo

no, Spain just sucked

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

…. for some unknown reason….

King Hippo

America! So sorry you are nae in teh tournament! (would have got 1 point in the Group stage) But, por favor, consider rooting for Mexico! Think of how happy it will make the toddlers in your border cages!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

That’s not where her eyes are.

I know. I wasn’t looking at her eyes.

Mr. Ayo

да!

clint greasewood

France,Brazil and England are still alive.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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clint greasewood

Oh yeah that team, Argentina without the stripes.

King Hippo

we try!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

OH YEAH!? WELL YOU’RE A GAY!

King Hippo

Colombia! Waffles!! It is written!!

clint greasewood

Crepes and Crumpets, the Franco-Anglo war for breakfast will continue on the pitch.

Wakezilla

Croatia

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

Names engraved on the “passes completed” and “useless possession” trophies forevs, though.

/ppl forget that

Spur

That Russian Keeper earned his Vodka today.