We arrive at Day 2 of the Knockout Stage with France and Uruguay safely through to the Quarterfinals. Who will join them today?
LET’S WATCH!
Game The First
Spain v Russia
7 AM Pacific, Luzhniki Stadium, Moscow
Balls: On paper, this should be a breeze for Spain to advance. Russia is just not that talented and showed it in an embarrassing loss to Uruguay. Spain has not hit its stride yet and may start scaring people after this one.
Predicción: España 3 Rusia 0
Hippo: Hopefully, this is kind of an ass whoopin, and probably will be. That said, Spain has underwhelmed, and FIFA will want to tickle the host’s balls a little bit, because that’s how FIFA roll.
Predicción: Spain limps on, 2-1.
Litre_Cola: Ok, enough dicking around. Spain will pass around these guys and not be intimidated in the least with having to play in Russia. Russia was the lowest ranked team coming in. Russia had their moment in the sun winning those 2 games. They are done. If they wouldn’t mind taking out Ramos while they are busy getting passed around that would be just great.
Predicción: España 4 – 1 Russiya It has been fun Russia, but goodbye. When do we hear about the PED tests?
Wakezilla: Like most favorites in this tournament, Spain struggled in the group stage, but ultimately managed to clinch first. Most importantly for Spain, is that Costa and Isco are starting to play well. If they can build on their group stage performances, Spain is going to be a scary team to play. Moreover, what a lot of people are not talking about right now is the fact that while David de Gea gave up a softy that cost Spain three points against Portugal, he has been perfectly cromulent the rest of the way. What is concerning for Spain, however, is their defense. I just watched the Spain/Morocco highlights and holy shit, they made a lot of costly turnovers and De Gea bailed them out. Neither of the two goals he gave up were his fault. While Russia aren’t known for their deadly strikers, if Spain keeps turning the ball over, Golovin or Cheryshev will eventually burn them.
As for Russia, they’re just happy to be in the round of 16. They have home field advantage and if what we saw with Ronaldo is any indication, Russian fans are likely going to be hanging outside of Spain’s hotel, making lots of noise to ensure they don’t get a lot of sleep.
Predicción: As we saw yesterday, we’re at the phase of the tournament where things get a little more predictable. Russia having home field advantage will likely keep this game close. Factor in Golovin now expected to sign with Chelski and I suspect this will be a spirited affair. However, Spain is too talented and this is a type of game that could really propel them into finding their top form. In a score that will flatter the Rooskies, Spain will win 2-1. Lets say Isco and Costa will score for Spain, while Cheryshev capitalizes on a Spanish turnover.
Game The Second
Croatia v Denmark
11 AM Pacific, Nizhny Novgorod Stadium, Nizhny Novgorod
Balls: Of all the teams that could bother the Croatians, Denmark is one of the most dangerous. That’s not to say the Danes play well or pretty football. They don’t.
What they do is effectively kill the opposing offense’s creativity and score on the counterattack. Sweden does the same thing and Sweden is also in the Round of 16.
Croatia will need to play an almost perfect game and have a moment or two of genius to overcome the Danes. Ideally, the Croats will score first and then laugh as the Danes can’t create on offense.
Prediction: This game ends one of two ways: Either a tight and tense 1-0 win for Croatia or a 0-0 tie that goes to penalties in which Denmark goes through.
Hippo: There’s no doubt that Croatia, along with the Waffles, played the most flawless Lesser Footy in the Group stages. But I am also a yuuuuuuggggge Christian Eriksen fan, and he has elevated this Denmark side significantly. There’s a combination of precision, creativity, and discipline that is very dangerous – especially if the Murder Checkerboards (h/t Balls, methinks) are caught looking ahead.
Predicción: 1-1 Draw (Denmark advances on PKs)
Wakezilla: On paper, Denmark being unbeaten in their last 16 games is impressive. But the truth is, they’re everything that’s wrong with international lesser footy. They’re unbeaten in 16 because they play—albeit really well—a boring, systematic defensive game. It’s not like they don’t have talented players, because they do (see: Eriksen, Christian). Don’t get me wrong, I love it when non-traditional lesser footy powers have success–just not when they play an “I-rather-watch-paint-dry” boring type of game. Even how they advanced to the round of 16 is boring because they tied 2 games, won one, and scored a whopping 2 goals. In all honesty, Denmark didn’t deserve to beat Peru. Fuck Denmark and their shit lesser footy.
Before the tournament began, I picked Croatia as my darkhorse to win the World Cup. So far, they are the only team that has made me look good. They are a well-balanced team that is currently rolling. They played tougher opponents than Denmark and I think playing Iceland gave them a preview of what to expect from the Danes.
Proricanje: Croatia is one of the most consistent teams in this tournament and have the talent and patience to wait out Denmark’s bullshit defensive system. Consequently, Croatia is going to win an incredibly boring 1-0 match, with Rakitic scoring in the 88th minute.
Litre_Cola: For me this game basically comes down to Eriksen vs Modric. Who can take over the game and run the offense. Both players are adept passers and lethal when given space. I think that this is an even matchup. They have only met 5 times in the past so there is not a history there. I think that this will be a boring 1st half and then it will open up in the 2nd half.
Forudsigelse: Denmark 1 – Hrvatska 0 the ole Twbs, with 5 of 8 minutes of injury time added on.
You’re taking your posts to another dimension…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5akEgsZSfhg
… another dimension.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ilnnMzK_m8w
My “Boring!” comment is following me everywhere. Little help?
tWBS is haunting you.
This is Andressa Urach. She is known for being a stalker of Ronaldo. Dude has a tough life
http://flashstar.skaipatras.gr/site/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/bizadio.jpg
ZZ Top thinks she’s got legs.
Just a bit outside
The true Argentinian GOAT.
“Love to get my hand of god on her.”
-Maradona
Yurary got himself some acting chops.
Never get the security deposit back carrying on like that.
This game has been surprisingly chippy. Any backstory to this, or, do both teams consist of players who talk trash? I see a lot of shit talking out there.
Only played against each other 5 times ever
I want this ref and Ed Hochuli to have an old man drinking contest. Not sure where it will go and I like that.
Such flippant remarks are why meatspin exists
Damn. Peter Schmeichal looks like he could still play
Croatia is being way too cautious. They should try and end this in 90 minutes
I am Hippo level angry about Russia beating Spain. There is something shady going on sheeple!
I heard that all the frogs in Russia are gay.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1kc5WZngss4
If Croatia goes up 3-1 and their key players with 1 yellow magically get another in the last few minutes, we’ll be through the looking glass
Or, y’know – Spain (that played like shit in the group stage) are shit?
He’s joking
Yeah, my eye for spotting satire and any other form of nuanced statements went the way of my liver like… 2 hours ago 😀 Spain really was shit,tho (and thus tanked my 20 bucks on them going all the way bet)
Are the all Canadians off celebrating Canada Day? It’s also Memorial Day in Newfoundland, commemorating when the Royal Newfoundland Regiment suffered 700 casualties on the morning of July 1, 1916, during a frontal assault on the first day of the Battle of the Somme. My grandfather was in that unit, and he was wounded a week before and evacuated to London. If he hadn’t I probably wouldn’t be here.
Nah, I’m getting drunk, watching soccer and amusing myself. It’s what your grandfather would have wanted.
Depends on how you’re amusing yourself. My grandfather had 15 kids; that man was on the job.
[Salutes Brick’s Grandmother’s birth canal]
Yeah, I guess she has to get some credit too.
At least 70% as much as grandpa.
Your grandpa introduced you to DFO?
Those were his dying words, 10 years before I was born.
Just got home from a Canada Day thing. Can confirm still a country.
“Hello Dali!”
Don’t jump! Say, do you know the way to the muffler store? NOOOOOOOO!!!!
Pink or Stink?
/he’s also missing a digit
The small finger is behind.
*or taken by his bookie, same one Hippo uses.
For those keeping track at home, I released Sonny Gray from my fantasy baseball team.
Did he have bees in his mouth?
Another ringing endorsement for Colon Blow!
“His name might be Luka but this is a much better(?) song about child abuse”-Natalie Merchant
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m39DWVFK-Bw
Croatia is so fucking fierce
Croatia forgetting that not everyone has a goalie as shitty as Argentina’s goaltending with those weak shots on net.
So LeBron goes to philly. Philly trades for Kawhi. Spurs get zhaire, saric, heat pick and 2020 philly 1st. Everyone but the Lakers get what they want.
I’m ok with this.
That’d be insane, but no way that’d happen (Cap reasons)
“I like this ‘Tito Football’ the Croatians play.”
-Johan Cruyff
and fuck Tom Brady!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PUNgHDC7r44
why isn’t Croatia wearing their tablecloth kits?
Because they beat Argentina 3-0 wearing them? That would honestly be my guess
What a pleasant surprise to this game.
I thought FIFA changed the rules about Yellow cards? Like, once they got to the round of 16, they were wiped out?
For the semis. So no one could miss the final except for a red.
That’s ridiculous. Maybe have it reset at the Round of 16. The semis is way too long. Or, make it so it’s 180 minutes after the card has been issue
rule should be wiped out completely. It’s stupid.
earned this by sitting through that first match
This.
SALADS FOR ALL!
PAELLA FOR NO ONE!
Banana. Meet. Cakes.
Agreed. Bananacakes Mode: Engaged.
“BORING!”
-tWBS
DENMARKIA!
Danes WOO!!!!
That was quick
Black Death unis may NAWT be lucky?
given that they equalized equally quickly,perhaps they are
A Quickie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YESSS! Tyler Bozak signs with St. Louis. Now he’s a Blues Bozak.
/And they signed a Johnson to go with him
Generalissimo Franco must be rolling in his grave. (In related news, Generalissimo Franco is still dead.)
I hope Croatia breaks out the killer duds they had against ARG.
YES! The black says murder, the checkerboard “by cholesterol”. Go Unlimited Salads!
Murder By Cholesterol sounds like a fantasy team!
/Or it reminds me of band based from my alma mater, Murder By Scooter.
“Defense? We don’t need no stinkin defense.”
-Mapple Leafs
I’m a big fan of the chunkier soccer kids that are paraded out pre-game.
Well, err… that statement is not in any way disturbing
You can chase them down so easily because they’re so full of chocolate.
Dude, that’s Grimm.
Settle down Jared
I was told to ‘eat fresh’, after all.
A Denmark vs Sweden World Cup semi final would be fun.
I’d rather watch something Adam Sandler made in the 2010s
Breaking: Tavares signs with the Ice Argos.
Combine this with the fact England has a real shot at making the Finals and we’re entering the darkest of dark timelines.
[Hears distant “SPLOOSH” noise]
Sometimes things work out okay-I let go a huge Leafs fan just a few weeks ago. Now I don’t have to listen to his blathering.
It does mean we get to laugh at Ice Jets fans though. In addition to the Barclays Center fiasco.
Spain plays a possession yo-yo game and don’t shoot—and this is on Russia or FIFA… HOW? More ballast for Coatia is good.
Barkeep! A double schnappdenfreudes, one for Ramos and one for the WSJ.
https://www.wsj.com/articles/the-occasional-brilliance-of-bad-sportsmanship-1528894907?mod=e2tw
BTW that article is such agenda-driven hackery that it mentions Ramos’s taking out Salah as GOOD, and Zidane’s head butt in Germany 2006. But makes no mention of Marco Materazzi, MR. SAVVY DOUCHEBAGGERY who goaded Zizou into a red card.
Russia fucks with the US election…that isn’t hard.
This result?
Okay..I’m fucking impressed with Putin’s pull…
He didn’t even have to pull the thread to make the sleeve come off, in a manner of speaking.
Stop whinging about Russian meddling in the US elections and start worrying that the meddling (not saying alleged, because every big country fucks with its rivals’ internal politics) was so inept yet embraced by the “too dumb to live” key electoral block
The lowest ranked team in the tournament is in the Final 8. In Russia. Where the lowest ranked team is from.
FIFA everybody!
And Spain doing fuckall for 120 minutes is also somehow FIFA’s fault? Face it – Spain did their best inner Cleveland Browns imitation, so they were rightly thrown out.
Biggest upset in knockout stage? Technically, it was just a draw.
– Pedantic Putin-hating Hippo
Importantly, one of Russia, Croatia, Denmark, Switzerland, Sweden, Colombia or England WILL be World Cup finalists
I feel great about it being Coca Bros.
The James injury report was no tears on the calf muscles. No woed on if he’ll play against ENG.
Holy shit, I can’t believe Russia won. Anyone calling shenanigans?
no, Spain just sucked
…. for some unknown reason….
America! So sorry you are nae in teh tournament! (would have got 1 point in the Group stage) But, por favor, consider rooting for Mexico! Think of how happy it will make the toddlers in your border cages!
Nice drive-by
That’s not where her eyes are.
I know. I wasn’t looking at her eyes.
Portugal, Spain, Germany, and Argentina are all gone. Methinks we’re getting a first-time winner this WC…
да!
France,Brazil and England are still alive.
As is Uruguay. Everyone forgets about Uruguay.
Oh yeah that team, Argentina without the stripes.
we try!
OH YEAH!? WELL YOU’RE A GAY!
Colombia! Waffles!! It is written!!
Crepes and Crumpets, the Franco-Anglo war for breakfast will continue on the pitch.
Croatia
Names engraved on the “passes completed” and “useless possession” trophies forevs, though.
/ppl forget that
That Russian Keeper earned his Vodka today.