We arrive at Day 2 of the Knockout Stage with France and Uruguay safely through to the Quarterfinals. Who will join them today?
LET’S WATCH!
Game The First
Spain v Russia
7 AM Pacific, Luzhniki Stadium, Moscow
Balls: On paper, this should be a breeze for Spain to advance. Russia is just not that talented and showed it in an embarrassing loss to Uruguay. Spain has not hit its stride yet and may start scaring people after this one.
Predicción: España 3 Rusia 0
Hippo: Hopefully, this is kind of an ass whoopin, and probably will be. That said, Spain has underwhelmed, and FIFA will want to tickle the host’s balls a little bit, because that’s how FIFA roll.
Predicción: Spain limps on, 2-1.
Litre_Cola: Ok, enough dicking around. Spain will pass around these guys and not be intimidated in the least with having to play in Russia. Russia was the lowest ranked team coming in. Russia had their moment in the sun winning those 2 games. They are done. If they wouldn’t mind taking out Ramos while they are busy getting passed around that would be just great.
Predicción: España 4 – 1 Russiya It has been fun Russia, but goodbye. When do we hear about the PED tests?
Wakezilla: Like most favorites in this tournament, Spain struggled in the group stage, but ultimately managed to clinch first. Most importantly for Spain, is that Costa and Isco are starting to play well. If they can build on their group stage performances, Spain is going to be a scary team to play. Moreover, what a lot of people are not talking about right now is the fact that while David de Gea gave up a softy that cost Spain three points against Portugal, he has been perfectly cromulent the rest of the way. What is concerning for Spain, however, is their defense. I just watched the Spain/Morocco highlights and holy shit, they made a lot of costly turnovers and De Gea bailed them out. Neither of the two goals he gave up were his fault. While Russia aren’t known for their deadly strikers, if Spain keeps turning the ball over, Golovin or Cheryshev will eventually burn them.
As for Russia, they’re just happy to be in the round of 16. They have home field advantage and if what we saw with Ronaldo is any indication, Russian fans are likely going to be hanging outside of Spain’s hotel, making lots of noise to ensure they don’t get a lot of sleep.
Predicción: As we saw yesterday, we’re at the phase of the tournament where things get a little more predictable. Russia having home field advantage will likely keep this game close. Factor in Golovin now expected to sign with Chelski and I suspect this will be a spirited affair. However, Spain is too talented and this is a type of game that could really propel them into finding their top form. In a score that will flatter the Rooskies, Spain will win 2-1. Lets say Isco and Costa will score for Spain, while Cheryshev capitalizes on a Spanish turnover.
Game The Second
Croatia v Denmark
11 AM Pacific, Nizhny Novgorod Stadium, Nizhny Novgorod
Balls: Of all the teams that could bother the Croatians, Denmark is one of the most dangerous. That’s not to say the Danes play well or pretty football. They don’t.
What they do is effectively kill the opposing offense’s creativity and score on the counterattack. Sweden does the same thing and Sweden is also in the Round of 16.
Croatia will need to play an almost perfect game and have a moment or two of genius to overcome the Danes. Ideally, the Croats will score first and then laugh as the Danes can’t create on offense.
Prediction: This game ends one of two ways: Either a tight and tense 1-0 win for Croatia or a 0-0 tie that goes to penalties in which Denmark goes through.
Hippo: There’s no doubt that Croatia, along with the Waffles, played the most flawless Lesser Footy in the Group stages. But I am also a yuuuuuuggggge Christian Eriksen fan, and he has elevated this Denmark side significantly. There’s a combination of precision, creativity, and discipline that is very dangerous – especially if the Murder Checkerboards (h/t Balls, methinks) are caught looking ahead.
Predicción: 1-1 Draw (Denmark advances on PKs)
Wakezilla: On paper, Denmark being unbeaten in their last 16 games is impressive. But the truth is, they’re everything that’s wrong with international lesser footy. They’re unbeaten in 16 because they play—albeit really well—a boring, systematic defensive game. It’s not like they don’t have talented players, because they do (see: Eriksen, Christian). Don’t get me wrong, I love it when non-traditional lesser footy powers have success–just not when they play an “I-rather-watch-paint-dry” boring type of game. Even how they advanced to the round of 16 is boring because they tied 2 games, won one, and scored a whopping 2 goals. In all honesty, Denmark didn’t deserve to beat Peru. Fuck Denmark and their shit lesser footy.
Before the tournament began, I picked Croatia as my darkhorse to win the World Cup. So far, they are the only team that has made me look good. They are a well-balanced team that is currently rolling. They played tougher opponents than Denmark and I think playing Iceland gave them a preview of what to expect from the Danes.
Proricanje: Croatia is one of the most consistent teams in this tournament and have the talent and patience to wait out Denmark’s bullshit defensive system. Consequently, Croatia is going to win an incredibly boring 1-0 match, with Rakitic scoring in the 88th minute.
Litre_Cola: For me this game basically comes down to Eriksen vs Modric. Who can take over the game and run the offense. Both players are adept passers and lethal when given space. I think that this is an even matchup. They have only met 5 times in the past so there is not a history there. I think that this will be a boring 1st half and then it will open up in the 2nd half.
Forudsigelse: Denmark 1 – Hrvatska 0 the ole Twbs, with 5 of 8 minutes of injury time added on.
Phew
Sorry but I need Denmark to win. Without Paraguay, the crowd shots just aren’t as good.
You’re crazy. Croatian women traveled well to Russia.
#2 showed where he was shooting that whole time
heeeeeeere’s Modric!
Cheeky goal
I love being on my day off…trying to watch world cup, and I am on the phone for the last hour and a half trying to talk to someone in some random country, because some idiot disconnected a hose and ran a cooling unit for a massive drive lineup.
Multi-million dollars worth of equipment…and people are fucking morons.
“You destroyed your cooling water pump”
“How?”
“You ran it for days without water in it. You can’t even turn it by hand. Its completely seized”
“I’m going to need you to come and replace it”
“Yeah…no”
That was a great shot
… man
-Filter
If your tendency is to shoot in the corner, Just shoot it in the middle of the net for this one
So this is the world’s worst version of rock, paper, scissors?
Exactly
0-for-3!!!
OH SHIT!
ERIKSEN misses! How many bananas do these cakes got?
Apparently at least one more.
Uh oh. Modric looks like a wreck
If that’s a wreck then call me the Carpathia, because I’m steaming her way!
/oh god, that was awful
https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/TPbA.1vjt74wXc8EbMTKmw–~A/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjtzbT0xO3c9MTI4MDtoPTk2MA–/http://media.zenfs.com/es-US/homerun/mezcalent.com/2d809225be0be8f8fd4424526ff1be4e
This is the way these games should be settled.
Dumb luck.
I’d have Modric shoot first
Denmark is looking good
[looks at her nipples]
If she decided to do a radio show, I’m sure it would come in Tokyo.
So, Croatia is the dude that took the girl out to an expensive dinner, spent a shitload on drinks at the club, bought her flowers, and couldn’t get it up when they got home.
they got pills for that
-Cy Alice
This is why you don’t play for penalties when you’re up against one of the best goalies in the World, Croatia.
Schmeicel for God!
He’ll never have to pay for another set of Legos as long as he lives.
Or another Carlsberg.
“Let’s agree to disagree.”
-Maradona’s Hand
Foxy Goalie! I don’t know why I know that.
Denmark is winning this
“That was mildly interesting.”
-tWBS
What does the ref have to do to end this bloody slog already XD
I HAVEN’T SEEN THE DANES HOLD LIKE THAT SINCE….uh
http://tvquotes.co/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/6f5380178af88d2821febcef781ced851d0824b24941ba11723383deae984b6b-300×225.jpg
All ball!
AN INTERESTING THING!
Best to spend 15 minutes on VAR before giving him the obvious PK
Something…happened? Well then.
Come on, baby!
Nobody comes on Baby in the corner!
Go Fightin’ Table Cloths!
wow
This is a Russian referee. I’d like to know why she isn’t in this World Cup
Is it just me, or is the one on the far left Sandra Bullock?
http://cdn.ebaumsworld.com/thumbs/2014/07/14/025418/84208742/world-cup.jpg
Close, but no.
“Penalties, unless there’s a winner…”
C’mon, buddy. There are no winners in this game. Certainly not the fans
Taking Mandzukic out? They know there’s penalties to come, right?
Spain 2.0
He needed to go get some vowels.
Leaving Eriksen opening like that? You’re going to have a bad time, Croatia
Deserves a spanking…
“They can volley my balls anytime!”
-Karch Kiraly
/there’s yer deep cut
Can’t decide if sudden death overtime would make them play more or less like eunuchs
The lesser footying shall continue until morale improves!
Modric looks like he needs some orange slices
Martina Navitrolova still has the magic touch. Fantastic pass.
Announcer: “Will Smith score for the men in black?”
Tommy Lee Jones : [rolls eyes, goes back to newspaper]
Oh this is ridiculous. The ref should just ask if they want to go straight to penalties. This is terrible lesser footy
Ska? Don’t mind if I do!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8eClAL1LCRk
Get it together, Croatia!
Are lesser footy players naturally whiny floppers or do they practice it?
See, if they wanted to get Americans to root for Mexico they could have done so much better than Landon Donovan.
Moar futbol, don’t mind if I do.
Croatia need to score. I wouldn’t want to go against Schmeichal in penalty kicks
GIVE HIM A FUCKING YELLOW FOR WASTING TIME!
When your kid throws up in the car.
That’s probably the only place my two boys didn’t throw up. #blessed
In my experience:
At what point should I accept the fact that the remains of my growler are flat and move on? I didn’t pay for it but its still beer.
You are going to pour some sort of carbonated beverage into that beer and drink it down. Thy will be done.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=10V_Z0_udjg
Thank you for the guidance. In a moment of weakness, I almost listened to my girlfriend and agreed to “just throw it away.”
You’re stronger than you think.
It’s a shame they shit the bed because Poland traveled well this tournament:
Obligatory
Yup!