Evening folks!
Hope everyone is having a lovely Tuesday. How’s the weather out there?
Today’s forecast high for the greater Phoenix Metro area was?
116 degrees.
One Hundred Sixteen Fucking degrees!
Downtown LA was in the 90’s and there is an extended excessive heat warning for the next 48 hours.
Here on the Coast it’s been mid 80’s with that shitty humidity still hanging around.
But honestly who gives a shit? Training camps are opening everywhere and our favorite NFL players are heading out to camp and facing the possibility of heat stroke!
Ain’t it goddamn great!
As of today 7-24-18 the following teams have players in camp.
AFC
Ravens rookies and vets, Bengals – rookies, Broncos – rookies, Colts – rookies, Jags – rookies, Chiefs – rookies, Dolphins – rookies, P*ts – rookies, Jets – rookies, Raiders – rookies, Steelers – rookies, Titans – rookies,
NFC
Cardinals – rookies, Bears rookies and vets, Lions – rookies, Rams – rookies, Vikings – rookies, Saints – rookies, Giants – rookies, Bucs – rookies.
Don’t forget that Tuesday August 7th episode one of Hard Knocks, featuring the Cleveland Browns debuts on HBO 7:00 PM Pacific time.
God Damn we’re getting close folks.
What to watch tonight!
Baseball!
No national games listed but here’s the full schedule just in case.
Tour de France Stage 16. Hot cycling/blood doping action!
WWE Smackdown – USA channel 8:00 PM Pacific for all you fans of the wrasslin’ and I know we have some out there.
As for me? I’m recording the D-Bags at Cubbies game and backing that up with episodes of “Chopped.” Hey, I use it for food ideas! Don’t judge!
Let us know what you’ve got planned, how you’re surviving the summer, what types and how much alcohol you’re consuming etc.
I’m going to relax and dream of NFL action.
You can smell the violence in the air.
Get some people!
Greetings from the auto mechanic’s shop!
If these guys are your mechanics, trust everything they say.
Any Minnesotans amongst us? How fucked will downtown be for a god-damned Friday night preseason Vikings game?
Not a resident but I’ve been enough times on game day. It’s a very organized and well laid out downtown. Easy to navigate and plenty of bars. The train system is fantastic and there are numerous restaurants. Have fun.
If i had my own day in court on the theory of evolution it would be that my dried out desert ass was evolved enough to make enough damn money to get my sun baked ass out the desert and pay for a damn civilized place on the beach.
That’s my version of evolution.
/ sips mai thai.
Alrighty then.-
“Hottest temperature ever recorded in Africa: 124.3 Fahrenheit, three weeks ago in the Algerian city of Ouargla. The 3 major U.S. TV networks have run 127 segments on the global heat wave, but have mentioned “climate change” only once.”
I’d change her climate
But enough about your ability to change women into ice queens…
They were born that way
I lived for awhile in the California high desert community of Ridgecrest/China Lake. It’s Central California East of the Sierras kind of on the way to Mammoth off the 395.
We had some extreme shit like 127 degrees 100 mph winds in the spring and the fall and snow in the winter.
And I kind of forgot where I was going with that besides it was hot as fuck.
Dude.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zF4MvVgmHSI
Yeah – today was really hot. In fact, it’s still hot as hell out. Meanwhile, my wife’s friend is moving from SD to LA to take some new job/skip out on SD. My wife was like, “Huh, I thought he was going to move back to Phoenix.”
Why would anyone want to live here?
To sell prescription drugs to Cindy McCain?
Or pink undies to Sheriff Joe.
Oh shit! It’s official. Alphonso Davies is going to Bayern Munich! The fee is around 13 million euros with substantial add ons that could make the entire package worth a record $20 million. Davies will remain with the Whitecaps for the rest of the season.
Looks like someone is going to use dhgate soon. (Thanks Litre!)
This is gotta be top 10 all time great lesser footy moments in Canadian history (sad, I know).
Yes, absolutely fantastic news. Great to see.
The library won’t have Wonder Weeks for me until tomorrow. When does the first leap happen?
(watching “Shazam” trailer) “That’s pretty good. Maybe DC realizes you don’t have to be too dark.”
(watching “Titans” trailers) “…or maybe DC banked the unused darkness and used it in this series.”
Aquaman also looks good. 2 out of 3 aint bad.
I’m holding out hope that “Young Justice” doesn’t have Spoiler has a recovering crack addict and Nightwing goes out with prostitutes every night just to beat up their pimps.
Jesus, I hope not.
However, from what I saw in the preview, we might be screwed
What we have is Schrödinger’s Titans, as they are both dark and goofy and you don’t know which until you turn on the TV.
After a day of hell on earth with Toddlerzilla, where she made me yearn for Daesh to just kidnap me and behead me to end it all, the universe finally rewarded me.
I went to a franchise barbershop at the nearby mall and had my hair cut by a woman who resembled Gal Gadot, if Gadot were Latina. She even had a sexy accent, as she was from Belize. As an added bonus, this hairstlyist didn’t have any of that IDF baggage, either.
5 out of 5 stars, can’t wait to repeat again.
Going back to my original point, Gitmo is missing out on a torture method that would drive anyone insane: play a tape of a toddler crying at the top of their lungs, on an endless loop.
No way I’m gonna read this whole “article” but it’s fun to imagine exactly what their gripe is.
https://houseofgeekery.com/2013/12/07/wtf-hollywood-why-casting-gal-gadot-as-wonder-woman-is-a-horrible-idea/
“Blair Walsh arrives home”
Both Lyft and Uber have denied his request to be a driver.
Classic Steve Keim
Park Assist – Test 7
Trent Green’d
Grent Tree’d
Can I vote if I’m drunk? Asking for a Conservative friend who trying to vote blue.
Well that depends. Are you gritty or athletic?
What time did you get to the gym? What time did you leave?
Crossfit is one crazy cult.
http://gif-finder.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/Girl-Knocks-Out-Drone-With-Golf-Club-.gif
In that case, remind me to tell Mrs. Wakezilla we’re doing crossfit with whips
Boston was 89 with a fuck ton of humidity. Naturally I made shrimp tacos and margaritas for dinner.
http://www.bookcaseangel.com/images/bzzzzz.gif
“What ah you, some fackin quee-ah? It’s nevah too hawt foah chowdah!”
-Tommy
I hear they Medevac choppered her out of there.
Eugenio Suarez is good at based ball.
No Hitter is broken up. God help them if St. Louis ever find proof that a Reds Clubhouse Employee pulled that alarm.
This came up briefly in last night’s thread, in case any of you haven’t heard of it. It’s really good. Jim Jarmusch’s documentary on The Stooges, “Gimme Danger”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ruqmemgLc2E
Do they discuss Shemp vs Curly or is that subject too touchy even today?
smh no love for Joe…
Curly Joe should have been taken out behind Columbia Pictures and shot.
According to the documentary, when they decided to call themselves “The Stooges” one of them called Moe Howard and asked for permission. “I don’t give a fuck what you call yourselves, as long as it’s not ‘The Three Stooges'” was Moe’s reported reply.
Finished it today. Tremendous.
No Hit thou 7 IP. Fire Alarm is going off.
Nicely done, Reds.
Update: Alarm is off but Light is on.
STL-CIN is in a Fire Alarm Light Delay
They found the light switch. Play Ball!
Day 550 and no one on the Trump Cabinet has questioned my credentials.
That monkey really is reading that financial paper.
“Ook, ook-ook!”
It is great that “Ook” translates from ape to to chimp to monkey fairly easily.
You need an umlaut for those of German origin.
“Ook, ook…..oooook, my good man.”
Have you been asked to appear on Fox News?
*same thing
Well, when I am, I can’t wear that dress now.
found a funny:
[sees wife getting changed after work] you should leave them high heels on
“ohhh yeah?”
[thinking about the spider on the bathroom ceiling] yeah
It really is the sprots doldrums.
Hypnotizing.
It is totally why i was doing some reading on ff this year tonight. that and lesser footy transfer news.
Ok Dirt Cowboys lets not repeat last night’s two-touchdown ass whippin’ you took last night.
Well, that was a slight improvement?
Doremus Jessop? If that’s not a quintessential librul snowflaek name, then my name isn’t Worthington J. LemonJello III, Esq.
NOPE! Never happen.
Watching Forged in Fire on History(?) Channel – I’m a sucker for people making edged weapons from raw materials and then beating the ever-loving shit out of them in various tests of sharpness, strength and durability.
No drinky-drink for me, except for some Dihydrogen Monoxide – I’m fighting the start of a migraine.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o5BlGbEUfI8
Fun fact: “forging a nail” is how Kellen Clemens’ friends later referred to his explanation of how he’d lost his virginity to a local girl while his family was on vacation in Canada.
Last night when my wife arrived home I announced in my best Ted Allen imitation: “tonights basket includes: green zucchini, breadcrumbs, leftover pizza and…beer.”
We had zucchini fries and pizza and beer. The judges enjoyed it very much, though they very rightfully complained that the pizza hadn’t been reheated enough.
Pretty tough to re-purpose leftover pizza but the judges will allow it!
Did you move on to the dessert round?
Yes, the basket only included a single raspberry ice cream bar.
Sorbet!