Because my regular work schedule gets all screwed up in September, I’m trying to see if I can adjust my mornings to be able to continue putting the threads together. So, apologies for the next three days, but I’m trying to see if I can produce something of measurable quality in under an hour. I’m hoping I can make the turn before I go away on Thursday.
NFL News:
- Antonio Brown has invited Dez Bryant to “come play with me” on the Steelers.
- One wonders how much cap space they’ll have to make this happen if they don’t lock down Le’Veon Bell soon.
- Bryant is also meeting with
the Browns later this week.
- nfl.com is a’flutter because Andrew Luck completed a throwing session without snapping in half.
- They’re not a’fluffer because it isn’t a story about Roger Goodell, whom most discerning citizens consider a national disgrace.
- He’ll try throwing in full pads later this week.
- Almost a year late, they finally opened the roof at the Falcons’ stadium on command.
- The Falcons sold more than 60,000 tickets at $5 each for the open practice, which included the roof demonstration.
- Ryan Shazier showed up to Steelers practice walking with a cane.
Ryan Shazier with a front-row view (almost as good as Mike Tomlin’s) for the much-anticipated ‘Backs On Backers pic.twitter.com/HMgjpL1r8P
— Chris Adamski (@C_AdamskiTrib) July 28, 2018
- The Seahawks tied down an actual, trained lineman to protect Russell Wilson.
- They inked Duane Brown to a three-year extension worth $36.5 million.
- No word yet on which jai alai & box lacrosse players they’ll sign to round out the O-line.
Tonight’s sports:
- MLB:
- Phillies at Red Sox – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN3
- Indians at Twins – 8:00PM | Sportsnet1 / MLBN
- Brewers at Dodgers – 10:00PM | ESPN
- Blue Jays at A’s – 10:00PM | Sportsnet
- WWE:
- Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
Sorry – TODAY WAS ROUGH!
[…] Editor’s Note: Look, this is self-serving, but as I noted in the wee hours of an open thread like a week and a half ago, I’m planning a bachelor party and need boat party music. We’re not talking about […]
Ok, degenerate, your skills are needed. Renting a boat for this bachelor party next month (we are literally going to bathe ourselves in the waters of Lake Minnetonka) and I’m putting together a playlist. Other than Lonely Island, WHATCHA GOT?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=myhnAZFR1po
Vikings fight song.
Led Zeppelin – Immigrant Song
Remember the hot naked girl who gets eaten by the shark at the beginning of Jaws?
Now she looks like Granny from The Beverly Hillbillies
Still would.
Her boyfriend got the ride of his life that night
What’s the payoff for Giuliani at this point?
Relevance.
And another thing. Why does theme park food have to be so fucking awful. I get the overcharging, I mean you’re fucking stuck but at least put some goddamn effort in.
I just had some mozzarella sticks from Buffalo Wild Wings and they were the nectar of the fucking gods after the shit we endured today.
Oh look! More bourbon!
My son starts first grade on Monday. Does that seem (incredibly) early to anyone else? I always started the Wednesday after Labor Day. Every year.
…and Summer Semester is officially over! Grades submitted, disappointing final scores, and red tape! This all adds up to WCS being even drunker and weirder for the next three weeks! But first, take the garbage out.
Fun* fact: Chase Utley is 2 years younger than me.
Other Fun* fact: He looks older than my dad.
*Funness not implied or guaranteed.
Hai! Can one of you big-brain types explain this to one of the un-moneyed? Shanksh!
Trump Administration Mulls a Unilateral Tax Cut for the Rich – The New York Times
https://apple.news/A3x2cNbfCR4WIjliaSNOfDg
Republicans are brazen and craven
I like it.
…and there goes the last of the bourbon.
On to the gin?
Ice cold beer.
Wuss
I did it. I survived SeaWorld. Went straight back to my room showered, changed now I’m sitting at the bar with a tall beer and a shot of bourbon.
Jesus, that was a workout.
In your jerk shirt?
I’m wearing my Freemantle Dockers shirt but my goddamn shoes are still soaked from 2 water rides. Why does that shit always go directly to your shoes?
I believe it’s called gravity. Also, water can be a dick.
They did have a cool interactive feature on their raft ride where spectators on the outside of the ride pay a quarter and fire a water cannon at people on the ride. Completely fun and you can drench some motherfuckers.
Just a quarter? They could charge way more than that.
I know, youngest right dropped 5 bucks in quarters just waiting for our raft to come by. They destroyed us when we passed.
Did the #BFIB complete their comeback with a walkoff Oso Grande HR in the bottom of the 10th? Your goddamned rite they did!!
Here is a bowl of chili that I made in 2016:
That’s aged well.
Why is ciderhomeyrick apologizing for cranking out quality content? #thatssocanadien
Finally! Dirt Cowboys get on the scoreboard in the windy, windy desert. CHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!1!!1!
First time I’ve seen this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbmjtoQLvKs
Damn it. That’s just the source.
https://twitter.com/emotionalpedant/status/1023983232021356544/video/1
There should be a option to sleep from Memorial Day to Labor Day. A summer hibernation. I got plenty fat in the winter so this could work.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X8Ow1nlafOg
stupid spell check. Bonus UHF!!!!!!!!!!!
I haven’t watched a Mission Impossible movie since 2. Is it worth watching the rest?
I got you beat. I haven’t watched since 1.
I’ve got you both beat. I haven’t seen any.
same, and I didn’t care for it
He was looking for a guy named max and searched for max.com~
In his defense it was 1996. The Internet was still new. Half of us didn’t even know there was porn on it for crying out loud!
Depends, do you like Tom Cruise running fast or running really fast?
Giuliani: “Even if collusion happened, which it didn’t, collusion isn’t a crime.”
Every CNN Expert: “Its called “Conspiracy”, you dumbass.”
Rudy prosecuted the mob, ppl forget that. Apparently those people include Rudy.
This was the same guy who was mayor of NYC after 9/11, right? This isn’t like The Simpson’s Halloween Special where he’s been switched by his evil twin who lives in the attic who eats fish heads?
Yup, same guy. If anything he’s a case for real-life Flanderization.
it’s almost like one shouldn’t have a nigh-senile loudmouth as one’s “legal spokesman” when one is facing federal indictment and probable impeachment in early 2019.
Is all these Trump comments about Tom Brady being a better son in law mean Kushner is about to be indicted?
“Don’t mind me, son. I only like to watch.”
“If Tom were my son, I’d probably be dating him.”
Probably, yeah. Gates will have spilled his guts about everything he knows about the Trump tower meeting, so they are pretty much all shitting bricks and Kushner ain’t blood, so Trump is probably expecting him to crack first.
Your shirt should arrive Wednesday!
i will enjoy it
“That was the longest day of our lives. Somewhere in a parallel universe, that day is still going on.”
Richard Dreyfuss describing Robert Shaw doing the Sinking of the U.S.S. Indianapolis scene completely drunk off his ass or Bengals fans describing the 2015 Wild Card Loss to the Pittsburgh Steelers. You decide.
It’s “Yes” isn’t it? I’m going with “Yes” as my final answer.
Starring Vontaze Burfect as Mayor Larry Vaughn.
With Redshirt as Mrs. Kintner
Special Guest Star
Brick Meathook
as “Ben Gardner”
DFO Productions only pays scale (Imaginary)!
Shark Wrangler – Spanky Datass
My wife has taken up metal detecting. Today she found a coin minted in 1788 or 1789 by a private Massachusetts company.
You can tell it was Massachusetts because it says “Commonwealth” on one side and “Wicked Fahckin Awesome” on the other.
There are like 6 states which aren’t really states, they’re commonwealths. Somehow this means that you don’t have to pay income tax and slavery is still legal because of amendments. A guy on the moon told me this.
Hmm. Don’t pay taxes. Can own slaves. But I have to live in Kentucky.
That’s a tough one.
Kentucky
Massachusetts
Pennsylvania
Virginia
She’s a detectorist?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sRkNhTRcK4I
THAT GUY WHO GOT SLAMMED TO THE CANVAS, I CALL HIM A RECURRING QUOTE BY DR. MCCOY BECAUSE HE’S DEAD, JIM.
He gave his life for the joy of as many as 30 people in attendance
Hey! The making of Jaws is on A&E.
“The shark isn’t working. Repeat, the shark isn’t working.”
probably one of them lazy union sharks ,, smh
One of those sharks. Lot of siestas if you know what I mean.
Oh?
Someone recently told me Jaws inadvertently symbolized the beginning of the death of the working class in thr 1970’s since the one blue collar guy is literally devoured.
this was the death of the middle class. The truth was too much for them. Carter called out the US population on their bullshit.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IlRVy7oZ58
In the end, we are all fucked but the stinkiest of the banker assholes. Just a matter of when the shark bites who.
Is Moose here yet? I need to shit talk the Dirt Donks, I guess.
/heart not really in it
//#BFIB back to sucking hind teat anyhoo
college football funny:
This is opposed to Chip Kelly of course, who insists “white [meat] is right.”
if Jim Harbaugh and Pete Carroll had a baby, can you imagine how fucked up it would be?
/also very hard to find maternity khakis ,, ppl forget that
Too bad Rachael Leigh Cook couldn’t act
Agreed. She was good-ish in “She’s All That”, but it went all downhill after that.
Agree to disagree. She was great in Psych episodes.
bahahaha! During Shark week!
https://www.ksat.com/news/trio-steals-shark-from-san-antonio-aquarium-by-disguising-it-as-a-baby
Babyyyyyy shark doo doo doo doo doo doo… ah fuck.
let me make some calls, I’ll find out which cousin has it.
Folks.
DAK?
Do you know how some videogames like Fallout or Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic has your character change their look with the more good or the more evil they get?
Because I’m starting to notice that with Sarah Sanders and Rudy Gulliani. Its almost like the corruption is physcially changing them.
Someone needs to check Mike Pence’s attic for a painting.
Rudy is 100% gargoyle, I am convinced.
Went into work today thinking I’d have to slay a Minotaur before lunch. Turns out I just had to give a wizard a verbal warning.
Okay. Who slipped LSD into Scotchnaut’s beer last night?
…Ray Billings?
Did you file your scroll of ensnare with HR?
found a funny:
the best form of transport is train as it’s the only one of the big 3 (boat, plane, train) where you can see a cow out the window and not feel justified panic.
If you’re on a boat and see a cow, be sure to say hello to my ex wife. Heyoo!
Dude is crushing pussy.
https://www.cnn.com/2018/07/30/us/minneapolis-police-thurman-blevins-shooting/index.html
I’m sorry a life was lost, but I don’t understand something. I know I’m one of the few people defending all good cops in the DFO Clubhouse, but they responded to a report of a drunken person firing a gun into the air. They encountered a person wearing a gun and he took off running. They chased him down at least two blocks ordering him to stop. When he turned looking like he was about to raise his weapon at the officers, they responded with lethal force.
Am I missing something? I confess they were way aggressive for the initial encounter, but that doesn’t give the suspect the right to run. Plus 14 shots seems extreme, but I don’t know what they’ve been trained to do when they respond with force. After that, I think they were okay.
I’m not trying to start a debate or defend the cops. I’m just trying to understand this issue.
It’s because MAYBE the incident went exactly as the officers said it did, but so many times they’re full of shit and get away with shooting unarmed minorities. Until the police take steps to actually gain some trust with the community they’re supposed to protect and serve, they’re gonna be protested.
Ah, I see. They’re maybe right, but their past actions makes their word mean less than shit so they don’t really get credit.
Hypothetically, if they would’ve started the encounter with “Hello, can we talk to you?” instead of “GUN! GET DOWN MOTHERFUCKER!” and/or gotten this guy alive (tackled, tased, or nonlethal shot), would’ve that’ve help them with the public?
Maybe, and if the guy was white, would they have approached him the same way? (I don’t know the answer to that, but there do seem to be two sets of rules.)
I agree. I didn’t hear the initial encounter when I learned about this earlier today. At first I thought, “What the hell? Cops can’t do their jobs, now?!”
But after I saw their actions, I can tell why the guy would’ve run. Not sure if that’s adreneline or racism. All I know is if they can’t control both, then they shouldn’t be cops. Shouldn’t be charged, but still shouldn’t keep their badges.
Context matters, really. Minneapolis police have been involved in a bunch of sketchy shootings in the last few years, and the police there have (rightfully in my opinion) lost the benefit of the doubt. Public opinion is still overwhelmingly siding with law enforcement, but it’s shifting away as more and more questionable events surface. Historically, law enforcement has been awful to minorities, and they’ve never been able to trust them. Now there’s less push back from White America against the protesting as the evidence of the bullshit piles up, and even if there wasn’t, it’s compelling news fodder. The bad ones have skated by for so long, I don’t know how harsh punishment coming down on individual law enforcement officers would have to be to get to the point where people think it’s evened out.
Also get shit like this: http://www.foxnews.com/us/2016/09/14/west-virginia-officer-says-was-fired-for-not-shooting-armed-black-man.html
Ah, good. Because its always nice to insert indecision and indecisiveness when it comes to “Does this require lethal force or not?”
Eloquently stated. Please respond for me on this topic in perpetuity.
Agree with Spam Jr. Excellent point. Also it doesn’t even out until all bad cops are not protected. I’m all for Blue Lives Matter and Cops protecting Cops, but that stops when cops betray the law or protect ones that do.
I’ll give cops the benefit of the doubt, but that doesn’t mean “permission to do what they want”.
Come my lady
Come come my lady
Be my butterfly
Sugar
Baby
Carry on, my wayward son.
There’ll be peace when you are done.
Lay your weary head to rest.
Don’t you cry no more.
Batman!
Batman!
Batman!
Batman!
Batman! Batman!
Batman!
Batman! Batman!
Batman!
Na na na na na na na na na na na na na!
Batman!
Not sure why they use the abbreviation for sodium, but it’s their jam.
Take on beeeeeeeesssss
Take on bees
Take them oooonnnnnn
Take them on
I’ve beeeennnnnnn stungggggg
in the
*super high voice*
baaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllsssssssss!!!!!
I have been inexplicably super dizzy all afternoon/evening. Hopefully, Hippo is dying.
/if so, last thoughts were of Donks WOO!!!
Condescending Glasses Sami Zayn is a very useful gif.
Catholic??
Well he does run an orphanage in Mexico
“Why didn’t I think of that?” – Jerry S., College Station, PA
“I can deliver the kids in my van!”
-M.Trestman
“Skateboards”: A Short Film By Ken Burns (narrated by Peter Coyote)
In the long and storied history of flat pieces of wood and small cylindrical objects, no one but a brave American thought to glue those pieces together. The result? The world’s first skateboard. This invention allowed young white teenagers to feel the wind in their luxurious blonde hair for the very first time in their lives. The Establishment? They weren’t very keen on this. Those delicious young freedom riders? They just didn’t care.
Was it righteous? Was it gnarly? Was it some combination of the two?
bahahahaha!!!
Aaron Donald and Khalil Mack still holding out.
Raiders first round pick Gareon Conley (who sat out all last season) is hurt again.
No matter what team Dez signs with eventually, it won’t be a catch.
“Too soon.”
-Calvin J.