Latest posts by theeWeeBabySeamus (see all)
- Your “Easter Egg Hunts Prove That Your Lazy Kid CAN Actually Find Things When They Want To” Friday Evening Open Thread – April 19, 2019
- Your “My Goal Is To Be As Good A Person As My Dog Already Thinks I Am” Friday Evening Open Thread – April 12, 2019
- Your “Tell Me What You Want, What You Really Really Want” Friday Evening Open Thread – April 5, 2019
Wow, what a day.
I ended a relationship and got accused of hit and run.
OK, for the record, those two things are unrelated. I was not accused of hit and run by the young lady I ended the relationship with.
Well, that’s not exactly true. But she didn’t say it in those terms.
But the Raleigh-Durham International Airport Police have accused me of an actual hit and run. On a fucking light pole….no shit. Check this out….I got a real citation and everything….
…you did lawfully and willfully operate a motor vehicle on a public vehicular area and fail to immediately stop the vehicle [you] were driving at the scene of an accident and collision in which [you] were involved. This collision resulted in property damage to two concrete ballards and a light pole belonging to Raleigh-Durham Airport Authority and….
Oh fuck it. You get the point.
And what the fuck is a “Concrete Ballard”?????? The Baltimore Orioles used to have a pitcher named Jeff Ballard. And he pitched like his hands were made of concrete. Is that close?
And really? Hit and run on a light pole? You gotta be shitting me!!!!
If you’d used better concrete ballards to begin with, I could have never even bumped your precious light pole anyway….you get that, right? So it’s kinda more your fault than mine. In a way. Sort of.
I have a court date and everything. Should I buy a new suit or just show up in board shorts like The Dude would?
Or maybe I should just abscond.
Fuck that parking lot. AMIRITE???????
Fortunately, my insurance company has already settled with “The Parking Lot” I ran over. And my truck named “Dave” even gets a brand new bumper next week in spite of the fact that it’s his damned fault I got caught to begin with….
Unrelated: Could someone please remind me to take his license plate off the next time I go to the airport? K, thx.
I had already responsibly handled the property damage portion of this incident before I received the hit and run legal citation from RDU Police.
Yes, that means I’m kinda pissed off now.
So, What’s Going On Tonight?
Not a damned thing, more or less.
- Red Sox at Phillies – 7:00pmEDT – TV: MLBN (regional split)
- Rays at Yanks – 7:00pmEDT – TV: MLBN (regional split)
Let’s see, what else? Oh, there’s also a four hour Fantasy Football Special on ESPN from 7pm to 11pm EDT. But I guarantee you they know less than we do already. If they knew shit, it wouldn’t take four hours to say so. So fuck that.
Little League Softball (ESPN2) and Rodeo (ESPNU) appears to be what is rounding things out so….it might be a good night to read.
Hey, at least there will be crappy pre-season football beginning Thursday. Right?
It’s Gonna Take A Team Effort Tonight
Seriously. With such a crappy sports lineup tonight, we’re gonna need everyone pitching in to get this thing off the ground.
For now, Imma go clear my head by taking a drive and…
/calls insurance agent
(Hi!!!!! Yeah, it’s me again!!!!!!)
Have a great night, everyone.