Your “She’s A Trigger, That Golden Girl” Saturday Evening Open Thread

Hopefully you didn’t spend the day in the same doghouse I did. Sure, I didn’t vacuum before work on Thursday, but I don’t think the police officers cared that the house wasn’t clean when they arrived. I literally

got the “clean underwear in a car accident” treatment over it. Dammit – that calls for booze.


Tonight’s sports: the NCAA gods have given us a delightful bounty

  • NCAA:
    • Alabama at Mississippi – 7:00PM | ESPN
    • Oregon State at Nevada – 7:00PM | ESPNU
    • Louisiana (Lafayette) at Mississippi State – 7:30PM | ESPN2
    • Ohio State vs. TCU – 8:00PM | ABC
      • from JerryWorld
    • Southern California at Texas – 8:00PM | FOX
    • Washington at Utah – 10:00PM | ESPN
    • Fresno State at UCLA – 10:30PM | FS1
  • MLB:
    • Twins at Royals – 7:00PM | FS1
    • Mariners at A’s – 9:00PM | Spor
  • CFL:
    • Redblacks at Roughriders – 9:30PM | TSN
  • MLS:
    • Toronto FC vs. LA Galaxy – 7:30PM | TSN
    • Whitecaps FC vs. Seattle – 10:00PM | TSN2
  • F-1
    • Singapore Grand Prix
      • 7:30AM | TSN
      • 8:05AM | ESPN

Week Two continues in earnest tomorrow morning. So many key players are listed as “questionable” they could form part of Trump’s cabinet.

 

Our chants will be “Tie Brownies Ties” and “Fail Raiders Fail”. EMBRACE THE CHAOS!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

He seems bored.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

A possum just scared the shit outta me. But I gave her the leftovers of a Filet Mignon so now we’re friends.
OK, “friends” might be overstating it. But she seemed to enjoy the steak. It’s a work in progress.

WCS

PROTIP: If she asks you to be big spoon, decline.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Possums are harmless. But also not particularly attractive.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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yeah right

That tail tho!

theeWeeBabySeamus

LMFAO

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Col. Duke LaCross

Teddy Atlas is making even less sense than usual.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

Starting to think Chip Kelly has some work to do in Westwood.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Chip resemble Ned Beatty a bit.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Gwen Stefani is kind of attractive.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ubvV498pyIM

Brick Meathook

Fresno State just ran some kind of voodoo PAT

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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blaxabbath

I see ASU is behind. That’s good.

theeWeeBabySeamus

When I lived in AZ, I used to say the same thing, but only in a slightly different order…

I see ASU behind, that’s good.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

No, Utah doesn’t care.

WCS

Guys… as bad as UDUB has been, I don’t think Utah wants to win.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Well to be fair, they’re from Utah.

yeah right

My nephews team is going to crack the top 20 on jucos in California.

Let’s get that boy a damn job!

theeWeeBabySeamus

No shit? That’s damned awesome.

yeah right

He is!

We can build on this!

theeWeeBabySeamus

I want a girl with a mind like a diamond.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u7aDstrDMf0

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Perfectly clear and worth shedding blood for?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Uninterrupted prosperity,
Who uses a machete to cut thru red tape.

Brick Meathook

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theeWeeBabySeamus

You fucking showoff.

Brick Meathook

I bought this at 7-Eleven

theeWeeBabySeamus

OK, now I know you’re full of shit.
Unless it was behind the 7-eleven….which is possible I guess.

Brick Meathook

I bought it at the store on the left on Pershing in Playa. That’s the original “fibre-weed” van from Up In Smoke.
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yeah right

If you go to LAX we share the same shop.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Coupla months I’ll be back. You can give me the tour….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nPlW2lkB2HM

Brick Meathook

Westchester?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hehehehe

yeah right

Yep.

Brick Meathook

That’s the first one I ever went to.

yeah right

The girls are ridiculous.

Wakezilla

Interception. Game is over. Ex-Riders win.

Happy Batman Day!

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theeWeeBabySeamus

She fights crime I think.

Currently the crime is that my face isn’t….never mind.

Col. Duke LaCross

My god.

Wakezilla

Riders got the ball with 68 seconds left. Should be good

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Wakezilla

Riders/Ex-Riders is getting pretty good. 5 point game with 2:42 left

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Senor Weaselo

It was good, but it didn’t have the zing of the first one.

Wakezilla

I haven’t seen it, but I heard the second was better than the first. What says you?

Senor Weaselo

It was enjoyable, and I enjoyed the company. Maybe it’s because I love the zamboni bit. The “Holy Shitballs” choir was funny though, and there were a LOT of Easter eggs. But it was missing one.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=plQIf5fS8xw

theeWeeBabySeamus

First was better.

ballsofsteelandfury

Second was better.

Wakezilla

Saskatchewan is nickle and diming their way down the field, which is a problem when they’re down by 12 and 3 minutes left in the game.

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Senor Weaselo

So, I assume there’ll be a trilogy fight for the sizzleweight champeenship?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Here, have a song about an elderly couple in an RV getting horrifically murdered.
Yes, that is what this song is about.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0wfu3tOrtQ

WCS

Another in the line of upbeat songs that are incredibly tragic. See: “Born in the USA” and “Semi-Charmed Kinda Life.”

Also: “I’ll Be Watching You” isn’t romantic, you dumbfucks. It’s fucking horrifying.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Don’t even get me started on Semi-Charmed Life.
Those little red panties they pass the test, goes up around the belly face down on the mattress
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gjdLAsnR_Ws

BrettFavresColonoscopy

You know what made this wedding better? Leaving, going to my buddy’s house, and finishing his Laphroaig.

Sharkbait

10 year?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Yup

yeah right

Make that happen soldier!

theeWeeBabySeamus

That sounds like a euphemism. Just saying.

Wakezilla

Artist’s conception

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Seriously, UDub might be the shittiest top ten team I’ve ever seen.

WCS

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Wakezilla

It’s sad. They have lots of under-the-table money, but not enough to bribe the NCAA to look the other way

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Wakezilla

Alright, we got the Roughriders taking on the ex Rough Riders. Anyone watching the game? It’s a potential Grey Cup preview.

On a related note, fuck Saskatchewan for preventing Ottawa to rename their club the Rough Riders again

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Sharkbait

Just blame Eugene Melnyk. It’s probably his fault somehow.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Is that a watermelon bra? I’m not judging, just asking.
Canadia is awesome.

Wakezilla

It is. Saskatchewan fans are known for wearing watermelon helmets.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Brick Meathook

I wish to know more about this Saskatchewan

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Andrew Luck has a new sponsor.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I think I’m just making it worse.

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King Hippo

the 3:30 window was interesting, I should have scheduled a coma for the rest of today. COYB, tomorrow at 11 EST, taking us right up to RedZone. Until then, FUCK EVERYTHING

theeWeeBabySeamus

Arkansas kinda isn’t very good.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Ned Beatty loves this intersection.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Wakezilla

That’s bordering on Japanese folklore, like Hanako-san.

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Brick Meathook

Ned Beatty looked like a sow. Jon Voight had a purdy mouth. I used to work with him and he kinda does.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Shit I need to check my lineup.
Did Justin Tucker fuck me over or what? I should go check.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450

This drive I call it the Scientific Method because it is putting the Christians on ice.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m eating Italian Seasoned salad croutons out of the bag. Like seriously, And without the salad.
When I envisioned myself as an old man, I didn’t see this happening.

Meh.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJfFZqTlWrQ

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Sharkbait

So I face Mrs. Sharkbait in my money league this week. Should make for an interesting day of footed ball tomorrow.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

NO. MERCY!!

/do us proud, Mrs. Sharkbait 😀

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450

It just makes sense to marry someone who is the same color as your couch.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Perhaps a refresher course in cartoon concepts is in order.

herodotus450

But who took the picture?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Judging by the angle; the HR person.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Sharkbait

I’m pretty sure I’ve lost 5 in a row to her.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

Indeed. Top Gun is more homoerotic than anything you will find on Grindr.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Is it wrong that I want to have sex with that?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It can be both…..

theeWeeBabySeamus

Not when I get done with it.
Ouch that cheese is still hot.

herodotus450

Just for fun, all commercial revenue resulting from a timeout commercial break should go to the team that called the timeout.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Gimme the bat, Wendy.

herodotus450

OSU secondary looking thinner than the shroud of Turin this game

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

A fake secondary?

WCS

Haldo.

theeWeeBabySeamus

OK, bullshit targeting call against Utah player. And he’s visibly calling the officials pussies as he gets tossed.
Good for him.

That was about as far from targeting as one can get.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

Good to see you’re still somewhat above water.

theeWeeBabySeamus

We’ve gotten out pretty easy so far. And I’ve had power now for…

/looks at clock
//does some math

…. six whole hours straight.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

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herodotus450

The TCU bubble screen fooled osu the first 13 times, but not that one.

theeWeeBabySeamus

OK, how the hell is Udub ranked #10? Where the hell have I been the past few weeks ffs?????

herodotus450

They only lost to an SEC team so it doesn’t count. THOSE ARE THE RULES.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

new twist on the log flume idea, fo sho

Senor Weaselo

Awww, Kingda Ka?

yeah right

Jersey shore!

Spur

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theeWeeBabySeamus

WTF happened on my TV while I wasn’t paying attention? Some Fran Tarkenton documentary. Even Fran Tarkenton would watch this shit.

Spur

Football is a dumb sport.

King Hippo

Purdue has no play except to let Mizzou score here.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450

Well no wonder Texas is winning now that their hot new recruit Blince Bloung is playing quarterback. Where was he two weeks ago? He does look familiar though…

Spur

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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I’m hungry AND too lazy to do anything about it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Imma just lay down be the fridge.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

Longhorns making USC cry.

Spur

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I’ve got a funny comment, but it would come across too racialist.

theeWeeBabySeamus

9/10, would let her knead my dough.

King Hippo

Purdue TD off the board YAY!!

herodotus450

Hmm TCU rising after three miscues? Also WTF the TCU guy took off his helmet on the field, isnt that some kind of sprotsmanlike penalty?