Your Saturday Evening Mild Rant & Open Thread

As you are reading this, I am currently not in Seattle awaiting the banal gore that will be the Seahawks home opener on Sunday. The dog sitter’s elderly mother died, and there wasn’t time to make other arrangements, so my brother will be enjoying the carnage without me.

Aside – they kept watering down Venom into uncoolness.

However, as we heard Joe & Troy repeat ad nauseum on Thursday night, Seahawks-Cowboys is America’s Game of the Week on FOX.

Which I thought loved America.

So why are they punishing America with this game? Is it because the DUMMYCRATS! are holding up the Kavanaugh vote? Quick – someone ask professional sports owner Mike Bidwell whether he was at that party.

After all, they were tight running buddies, so maybe he admitted something. It seems a hell of a lot more practical than forgiving an 18 year-old Brett Kavanaugh for allegedly committing a worse crime than what got 18 year-old Trayvon Martin killed.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NCAA:
    • Florida at Tennessee – 7:00PM | ESPN
    • Mississippi State at Kentucky – 7:00PM | ESPN2
    • Texas Tech at Oklahoma State – 7:00PM | FS1
    • Louisiana Tech at LSU – 7:00PM | ESPNU
    • Stanford at Oregon – 8:00PM | ABC
    • Wisconsin at Iowa – 8:30PM | FOX
    • Arizona State at Washington – 10:30PM | ESPN
    • Air Force at Utah State – 10:30PM | ESPN2
  • CFL:
    • Roughriders vs. Argonauts – 7:00PM | TSN
    • Tiger-Cats vs. Lions – 10:00PM | TSN
  • NASCAR Sprint Cup Series:
    • Federated Auto Parts 400 – 7:30PM | NBCSN / TSN2
  • UFC Fight Night:
    • Santos vs. Anders – 10:30PM | FS1 / TSN5
      • From Sao Paulo, Brazil
  • NHL Pre-season:
    • Leafs at Sabres – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
    • Canucks at Flames – 9:30PM | Sportsnet1

So now I have to watch the game at home, with a cooler full of free beer. If I’m sober enough, I’ll log in. NO PROMISES!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Spur

Quack Quack. Fuck you Trees!

King Hippo

I must say that you hate the oddest collection of neutral background sides

Spur

Am Texan but spent my late teens years on the West Coast. I like easy money lines (Hail Satan!) and chaos.

Mr. Ayo

That’s quite the Tinder profile

King Hippo

Kenfucky up a touch on Cowbells in the Rural Poverty Hoedown

herodotus450

Arcega-Whiteside sounds like the name of some newly discovered bodily organ. The Arcega-Whiteside gland.

litre_cola

Touchdown trees!

King Hippo

Vols down 33-3 at home to UF, who just lost at home to Kenfucky. That’ll leave a mark.

litre_cola

Next up they have Georgia, Auburn then Bama.

King Hippo

line can nae be big enough x3

Spur

Quack Quack.

Spur

Texas Tech with another Defensive Stand! Holy Shit, Boise State must suck.

litre_cola

I bet on the Wolven Pack people do NAWT disappoint me!

King Hippo

we found and kidnapped a defense somewhere, it would seem

herodotus450

Apparently the OU-Army game is NOT on the teevee, only pay per view through something called “the internet.”

litre_cola

Oh, a series of tubes and wires developed by Al Gore.

Spur

way to support the Troops Big12.

Spanky Datass
herodotus450

It works, but how will I see the sweet sweet tears when OU loses…

Spur

What About Bob, is highly underrated. I recommend to all.

Fronkenshteen

Agreed. If you like Richard Dreyfuss being driven to madness, “Let It Ride” and “Stakeout” are both good for yuks, too.

Spur

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scotchnaut

“I’d pull her pigtails.”

-The Commentariat

theeWeeBabySeamus

Newsflash: Tennessee sucks.

(no, I’m not complaining)

scotchnaut

And Canuck media types insist that the ‘Brain Drain” to the U.S. is a real thing. smh

yeah right

Tell me more about these “Sausage buns.”

Spur

Quack Quack

herodotus450

ppl forget Oregon is just as much of a potato-fucker state as Idaho is. Ore-Ida? Oregon-Idaho.

scotchnaut

/in an old age home trying to pick up a widow

Me: “You remind me of a large print book.”

Widow: “Really? How?”

Me: “You’re really easy on the eyes.”

yeah right

You sly dog!

Fronkenshteen

[door flies open]

/ enters doing the Conga

? I MADE ENCHI-LA-DAS!! ?

?THEY’RE COOLING ON THE STOVE NOW!!?

? I ALSO GOT A SIX-PACK?

? OF TASTY STARR HILL BE-EER?

? LARRY O-GUN-JO-BI?

? GOT TWELVE POINTS ON THURS-DAY?

? WEST HAM’S ON TO-MORROW ?

yeah right

Hammer time!

yeah right

Sushi achievement unlocked! Had some tepanyaki chicken, gyoza and 6 pieces of tuna nigiri.

Fantastic piece of fish. Perfectly sated.

Spur

I pray for a local sushi video poker bar in Henderson. I can’t be the only one who needs this.

yeah right

Vegas has a lot of quality sushi joints but all of them trend expensive. That’s a great thing about L.A. The fish is so fresh and there are numerous sushi places so it can be affordable at the same time.

Six pieces of sushi was 10 bucks. And it was fantastic quality.

Spur
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Holy shit.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I would literally murder each and every one of you if she asked me to.

herodotus450

Like I always say, “if there’s a choker on her neck, check for a choker in her pants.”

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m more concerned about my own pants.
They’ve gotten considerably tighter recently.

Gratliff

She seems nice. And hungry. Probably more hungry than nice.

Mr. Ayo

I think she works out.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

State runs a give-up play on 3rd and long, Plane Crashes were offside

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

Red Raiders with the common ground-raid attack.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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yeah right

My dinner tonight!

King Hippo

NC State is basically a good NFL QB (as in, could play right now) around a bad Sun Belt roster.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450

Army trying to Old Dominion Oklahoma, tied at 14

Spur
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

Texas Tech with a defensive stand?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

I’m sure they are as frightened and confused as you are.

litre_cola

Fuck Idaho State.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

/Contrary Take

“GO TATER TOTS!”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

annnnnndddddd 75-yard TD for the Fightin’ Plane Crashes

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

lots of folk wearing hefty bags with arm holes down Lexington way

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

And people said the Bill Belichick Collection would never get off the ground…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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LemonJello

TangerineJello has her first Homecoming Dance tonight, so I’ve been busy collecting a cheap tarp, quicklime, a new shovel…Oh, and I was here all night if anybody asks, OK?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

go with hogs, man. Way easier on the back. Inquire with Mr. Wu.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

“This guy knows the score.”

-Robert Picton

/if you google it, it’s funny as hell

King Hippo

tell me there is a book you can recommend me on this fun fella!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

It pains me greatly that I can’t.

King Hippo

fuck, if he was Murrican there would be SO MANY books

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

I brought some high school kids a case of beer for 30 bucks a few years back.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

The live recording the Jackson’s lip-sync to is awesome.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s3Q80mk7bxE

herodotus450

Who knew Webster could sing like that

King Hippo

Not to go all Norm McDonald on everyone, but y’all notice the double standard on how we are all supposed to pretend Louis CK’s art never existed (banished from Netflix, not to be mentioned on f/x), yet this serial child molester’s music is and always has been everywhere?

King Hippo

Also, an oldie but a goodie:

Q: How do you know it’s bedtime at Neverland Ranch?

A: The big hand is over the little hand.

herodotus450

Wasn’t he acquitted on all charges? And there’s a recording of the first accuser (a kids dad) basically planning the whole thing as a scam because MJ was so big? Also, character witness/drug addict Corey Feldsomething called out a ton of hollywood types as molesters, which has turned out to be true, but always said Jackson was cool.
My favored conspiracy theory I saw somewhere is that his dad gave him some some kind of drugs in an attempt to chemically castrate him so his voice wouldn’t change and the money train wouldn’t stop, and that fucked him up royally in matters regarding children.

King Hippo

I can believe it would be hard to get a jury to convict, but my certainty of his at least indecent liberties is at least as certain as OJ.

herodotus450

Turns out it was MJ’s doctor, who was convicted of manslaughter for Jackson’s death by giving him too much anasthesia, who said that he was given hormone injections by his dad. So that’s kind’ve a push in terms of who to believe.

King Hippo

UConn was a 29.5 point dog at SillyCuse. They lost by 30.

scotchnaut

Sitting in the sun while watching a bonfire has made me more red-faced than Dan Snyder’s favourite Halloween costume.

/repeat

herodotus450

Florida leading Tennessee early in 1997’s biggest game.

King Hippo

ooooh, Cowbells/Kenfucky is in a pretty decent rain. ENTROPY!!

King Hippo

repeating from the preview (really all that was insightful):

Will Bloodeyes be all emotionally let down after shitting themselves against tOSU? Or will they be out for steer blood? Let’s hope for the latter, but I very much fear the former.

scotchnaut

As a fellow game(s) intro peer, I love it when I rarely get it right.

King Hippo

hee hee, everyone notices (especially the ‘capper) when one gets it wildly wrong!)

King Hippo

God’s in His heaven, and NC State still can’t cover kickoffs

litre_cola

Yeah Right, just made baked spaghetti with the mother sauce as a base.

yeah right

How was it?

litre_cola

Added a half pork, half beef mix to it. Layer with cheese, noodles and the top layer of crispy bacon before more cheese. Was absolutely delicious.

King Hippo

as George Wendt taught us, balancing one’s beef fat with pork fat is well important.

yeah right

Sounds incredible.

scotchnaut

“SMGDH”

Litre’s physician

King Hippo

it’s socialized medicine so DETH PANELS obvs

Brocky

So….

Even if all the schools ranked ahead of Notre Dame win tonight, Notre dame will still probably move up due to margin of victory right?

King Hippo

margin of victory is only irrelevant when it’s ND, then “a win is a win”

Spur
King Hippo

uh oh, State’s secret weapon honky WR is ded

King Hippo

Justin Fuente? Oh u better believe NO SMIRE

yeah right

My nephew’s team, the Reedley Tigers played Foothill today. Nephew was a little worried and said they would be playing a “real team with a real defense.” He said if they can beat these guys then they could get excited.

Final score 35-12 Reedley fucking Tigers!

Oh yeah, before this game Reedley was ranked 24th in the fucking nation for community colleges.

4 and OH!

King Hippo

sounds like HIS defense be a little MOAR real

yeah right

This was their best D outing yet!

Spur

The TCU/Texas is going to have a Big12 Ref ending. I can feel it.

litre_cola

How is it possible in 2018 I can’t get a Idaho state v North Dakota feed??? They both backed Trump ffs.

ballsofsteelandfury

I love the Desperaux Psych episodes…
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theeWeeBabySeamus

I still need to binge that series. I loved it, but evil ex wife kept me from keeping up.

Spur

Go Longhorns! As i stated earlier, TCU has lose all my goodwill by letting Ohio State get away last week.

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