Much like any Giants fan I’ll be obligated to watch their eventual embarrassing demise vs. Carolina. But like many folks that like football in and of itself, the Jags/Chiefs game is must-eyeball TV. Also, we’ve got some pre-NFL appetizers on in the form of EPL action. TO THE GAMES!
Den/NYJ:
This is the story of “The Two Case Keenums”. One is a dreadful pocket passer with a QB rating of 66.7-that’s dead last among starters. T’udder is the out-of-pocket tosser. He’s 6th in the league at a 108.6 clip. Gentlemen, start your roll-outs! I figure the Denver D has enough juice left in it to throw rook qb Darnold under the short bus.
Mia/Cin:
Despite being down Gio and deep threat wr Ross it seems likely that Cincy should have little trouble with the “They are who we thought they were” 3-1 Fins.
Atl/Pitt:
The Falc’s O can play with anyone. Their D cannot and they are missing their best player on the line, at lb and in the secondary. If the weather is fine this game should remind me of my fave video game ever-Pong.
NYG/Car:
I’ve no idea what to make of the 2-1 Panthers coming off their too-early-in-the-season bye. So I’ll just say this (again). Play wr Shepard in your flex. He’s caught 16-17 targets the last two tilts and you know what they say about volume… You don’t? “Eureka!” is what they say about volume. Can I make my argument stronger? Slot cb Bradberry has given up a TD and 205 yards vs. Beasley and Tyler Boyd.
Jax/KC:
Here it is. I don’t expect too much out of KC’s wr’s but Hunt catching out of the backfield and te Kelce vs. an lb should produce some results. Enjoy.
GB/Det:
The Pack might be down both Cobb and Geronimo but Rodgers always finds a way. Now’s the time to play that hunch you have on their 5th string wideout.
Bal/Cle:
I find it very difficult, even impossible, to cheer for the Ravens. There, I said it.
Ten/Buf:
If rb Henry doesn’t run wild on the Bills league-worst rushing D then drop his sorry buttocks immediately after this game and don’t look back. This one should be over at about the same time as the first quarter.
Go Man City!
Wolfe pickerception WOO!!!
Darnold has completed a total of FIVE forward passes, but they leads 21-10 because life sucks and we get no respite from Rapey Justice Week.
He looks like Big Daddy Drew
with the requisite Touch of Downs
Tyreek ain’t gonna win any jump balls.
Except against pregnant girlfriends.
at least the venison jerky I just consumed was very good.
Lorena Bobbitt is so gotdamn hot!
Bobbitt used a serrated edged knife.
[shutters]
[blinds]
-Oedipus
GODDAMNIT!
Ratbirds D able to contain the Chubb so far today.
“What are you thankful for scotch?”
The fact that I never have to not watch new episodes of The Big Bang Theory after this year.
You HAD to watch them?
I’m guessing you’ve never had a wife that you compromised with?
That’s beyond comprise, that is the WWII invasion of Poland.
I’m thankful for never watching it in the first place
Rodgers retires at halftime.
“I want The Neighborhood! I want The Neighborhood!”
Green Bay being bad is way more delicious than I had anticipated.
[mishears something about “greens being delicious”, shakes head]
– Andy Reid
/watching the highlights
Seriously, Darnold’s arm is not of this world
Anderson’s 2nd was a sweet pea.
https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js
AWESOME
fucking bravo
I could probably laugh at this if I believed that barren gargoyle cunt would suffer any consequences for being aggressively stupid and/or evil.
Nice.
Should Denver lose to the Jest and fall to 2-3 (with road game at KC pending), they should move to the #SwagWagon and see what they’ve got ahead of the 2019 Draft.
Either get confidence you’ve found a future QB, or get a Top 5-7 pick so you can draft Ryan Finley (the perfect Kubes pupil).
/Moose, please grade mah crazy in word and/or gif form
No way you are telling the team you are giving up at this point in the season. That just completely pisses off players to pull that shit.
Fair point. I am not giving up as much as acknowledging that Keenum is a “stopgap” QB meant to prop up an otherwise deep playoffs roster, and they’ve proven themselves…not that.
You could argue the team just needs “spark” or more ceiling from QB now.
That justification would have ‘panic’ written all over it. But there is a point where you have to try something else, but Vance is in a struggle to keep his job; that will determine the choice for now.
[spoonerizes “Pubes Kukil”]
[giggles moronically]
Stroke it.
That was obvious hands to the face.
Just run the ball Jags. Just run the ball.
with multiple injured RBs now and down by 20, we’re gonna get maximum bort!
MAXIMUM BORTLES!!!
Rodgers is getting wrecked. Awesome
Packers are going to end Rodgers’ career to go 6-9-1 and finish 4th in the North
“Almost nice.”
-meme lovers
they seriously have to rest A.A. Ron for the 2nd half. They won’t, but they have to.
I have a lot to do today; might as well blow it off.
Bortception went off his own fat man this time
Oh Bortles, bad week to be you again.
MOAR BORTCEPTIONS!!!
Bort is Bort
The only good thing about today is the 29.3 Robby Anderson points (and that WAS his best play, with Ginn still in WR2 slot and Jordy his only remaining alternative) on my money league foe’s bench.
/also don;t think Bradley Roby is getting that extended contract he wants
I see Darnald is putting up Tebowian numbers.
Jesus Fucking Christ, Donks
BELIEVELAND!!!
/Lucy warming up
The tie is still in play for #thePauls.
The Ben force it right in HARF!!!
WHAT? The Ben no have trouble before??
Things are not well in Litreland. FF and Gamblor are having there way with me. On the lookout for Darren Sharper.
You are awake while it’s happening.
You’ve always got Fulham to fall back o….
Oh. Oh dear.
HARF HARF HARF
Seeing how aggressively mediocre the Packers have been thus far, Nagy taking the foot off the gas in that that opening week loss is extra infuriating.
Was just ferreting out non-believers. #PROPHECY
To be fair, he hasn’t looked like Andy Reid 2.0 since
If he’s actually learned something, I can swallow the humiliation of that loss.
Just NAWT Juju, please.
If you work out that hard, treat yourself to something a hell of a lot better than Michelob Ultra
Tomorrow’s Hot Take:
“The Jags are the best 3-2 team in the league”.
That Fat Man TD Pick Six that Blake Bortles just threw is now going to be used as part of the Colin Kaepernick collusion case.
Bortles is BACK!
I will only play in a fantasy football league that offers bonus points for novelties such as fat man pick sixes.
that was a really nice Fat Guy TD, too. He actually made a move!
#ThePauls!!!!
/how shall they fuck it all up this week?
ALL TEH MISSED PLACEMENTS!!!
There it is.
They could at least do something new. We’ve seen this one already.
13th pic-six on Bortles! That’s amazing!
This week?
LOLphins!!! Built for fucking SPEED!!!!
I thought cocaine was more prevalent in South Beach.
Felt a bit silly having Mason and picking up zueelein on waivers out of spite…not so bad now
BORTPICKSIX FATMANTD!!!
FAT MAN PICK SIX LOL
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!
Under a minute in the half, #thePauls driving. They’re gonna run out of time and go into the half with no points, right?
#ThatsMyThePauls!
Touched down, #thePauls. Hue’s headset must have cut out.
Immediately followed by DOINK!s appearance.
Jeebus wept.
Cinci determined to be down by 14 before half
Goddamn, and he was doing so well first three games
Rodgers is going to give Crosby a paddling
Buttkicker for the Chefs turned out to be quite good.
Miami Defense: “Poor Bengals. They always go to the Wide Receiver Screen that never works.”
Cincinnati Offense: “Heh, heh. Good old Wide Receiver Screen. It never fails.”
I love, LOVE watching a placement kicker melt down.