/gets called into DFO backroom/dungeon
Balls: WHAT?
Mysterious Hooded Figure holding a beer: Dude, WTF?
Balls: WYTAW?
Mysterious Hooded Figure holding a blunt: What day is it today, asshole?
Balls: Uh, Friday?
MHFH a beer: Seriously?
Balls: Wednesday?
MHFH a blunt: FFS, it’s Monday!! As in MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL!?!?
Balls: You guys know I don’t like the NFL, right?
MHFH a beer: Yes, we do.
MHFH a blunt: And frankly, we’re getting a little tired of your bitching.
Balls: Tough, but fair.
MHFH a beer: So you know what this Open Thread needs to be about, RIGHT?!?
Balls (sighing): Fiiiiine. Can I go now?
MHFH a beer: Yes.
Balls (on his way out the door): ORIOLESUCK!
LE FIN
***
TO THE GAME!
Tonight we have the Los Ángeles Doyers Green Bay Packers hosting the Milwaukee Brewers San Francisco 49ers on Game 3 of the NLCS MNF!
What can I say, I know it’s Wisconsin v California!
If the Packers can keep Aaron Rodgers upright like Danica, they are headed towards great things this year. Unfortunately, his health is as big of a mystery as his relationship with his family.
Which is too bad because A-Rod should be considered as one of the GOATs and he hasn’t benefited from cheating, favorable officiating, or Russian-style doping/”supplements” programs.
Instead, he’s had to deal with Captain Blue Bunny
as coach, an offensive line that compares negatively to a traffic cone and a NY subway turnstile, and the loss of a talented group of receivers that wanted to get PAID.
Oh, and do the Packers have a running back yet?
Jesús!
On the other side, we have the 49ers, which, well, take a look at this roster:
My condolences to Petronel and Mr. Nel. That roster would have me turning on the VCR and replaying the Super Bowl videos from the 80s.
My thought is that the Packers take care of business at home in a relatively boring game.
/ looks around
// sees that the DFOers are busy drinking
Doyers-Astros World Series. And the Astros win again…
This 49er secondary is more incompetent than Paul Allen’s oncologist.
And AARon remembers he’s AARon in the last two minutes of the game
that’s doing Crosby a solid there
RIP Niners. You footied well tonight. Just not well enough.
Damn I kinda feel for the Niners.
This Rodgers guy might be pretty good.
TEH. BESTEST. EVAR!
*paging tWBS*
See above.
Shoot, Tom Brady, the GOAT, would never have let it get that close.
*looks at Sunday night score*
Fuck, never mind
Bomb it to Adams or let’s go to OT and make some magic happen.
Magic. Man.
Mason Crosby has GOT to be shitting himself right now.
We know he’d miss the toilet if he used that instead.
What if he missed himself?
Yeah, but what if he COULD??
I just refilled my drink, this better go to OT.
PLEASE get a winner. Hippo needs no OT.
Argh
3rd down sack with a downfield penalty? HAIL BLEERGH!
Sherman bailout? CHUH CHUH
Good, now I can hate him again
Again?
[Changes over from basedball]
“Don’t want these slants to break free.”
I haven’t watched football in a while but I didn’t realize MNF hired Bill Parcels all of a sudden.
Huh?
Oh Pickles, you’re so fun.
why was San Fran in a hurry?
AZT has to be taken at very specific intervals.
Ok, back to Adams again….
CJ BEATERMAN!
AW HELL NAW
The ghost of Peterman delivers!
Why are they taking so much time? Get to the line and bomb it out to Garcon.
Out there pulling rabbits out of his head.
Ready for some Beat Hard Heroics
Or not
Back to GB being shite again and giving up my slim FF lead, I guess. BOO.
Woohoo! Just need a massive bomb to Garcon for that to help me. Otherwise, fuck the Packers
I should also note that Albert Wilson is on my bench and I in no way deserve to win.
See? If they’d have kicked before, they have the lead now instead of trynna decide between a tie and two pt fail.
No way of knowing that, they would not have kept favourable field position from pinning SF deep when GB’s defense was tired. THAT was a key part of the calculus.
What the hell happened to you?
It’s like I don’t know you anymore.
Foot on the throat, dude.
Niners gon’ win this on a last second FG because the Packers are pussies.
ORLY?
Shut up. LMFAO
OK, or that could happen.
Going for it is never a pussy move!! I didn’t say PUNT to put it on the 4, the giving it to SF there is just a consolation prize. They had a 50/50 shot of getting 7 points on 4th down, which is already superior to a sure 3.
Taking the 3 was the right call there. I’m usually way in the other direction, taking the chance, etc. But there they shoulda taken the 3 and then defended.
Crosby: Miss miss miss miss miss.
Reminds me, I saw this last week
Such accuracy!
— B. Walsh
UUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
My phone took a shit this afternoon and I had to go get another one. I told the guys at the Verizon store that their douchey TV spokesman needed to be taken behind the chemical sheds and shot. They enthusiastically agreed.
Let’s all get a goddamn snack
Hey unsurprised, how’s this?
Motherfucker
Seriously, who did Alfred Morris piss off this week?
I mean, I wasn’t gonna win anyway, but zero touches? Whut up wit dat?
He’s had a touch, at least. Pretty sure his name got called.
just end the game
Ok, if Adams scores here and then Garcon scores on an 80 yard touchdown pass, I could win in my money league
The hope is alive!
Now, I’m pulling for Tomsulas b/c will take a knee.
Goddammit.
FUUUUUUUUUUUU
Beathard there:
https://youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=UJeH5nUrPss
YESSSSS!!!! We live, Brocky!!!!
Beat Hard was looking to go deep there, which usually isn’t necessary when you’re doing that.
Damn, too bad that ain’t a sack.
But that is!
WOO!!!!!! Deeeeefeeeeennnnnsssseeee
/no OT, yew bastards
That was. Bonus lack of flag on Clay.
alright, assdicks. Pretend to play defense. Can give up 1 first down if ya want, but not too much yardage. Tis important!!
I guess it’s time for a turnover… Come on 9ers don’t fuck this up.
haha eat shit Rodgers. you aint young anymore
nm
Apologies Spur, but that has to be taken down.
Worth it!
The DFO clubhouse, for a very special minute.
understood
Nothing personal.
Feel free to put it back up as a fractured NSFW link if you’d like.
But we can’t allow that to embed.
Oh no my eyes
OVER THE LINE, SMOKEY!
Fuck it. In posting gifs of are you afraid of the dark
Fuck you.