[DOOR FLIES OPEN]

"This site goes down so often we oughta change the name to “Dating Nancy Reagan”" – Horatio

Log In

Your NLCS Game 3 Open Thread

ballsofsteelandfury

/

, , , ,

/gets called into DFO backroom/dungeon

Balls: WHAT?

Mysterious Hooded Figure holding a beer: Dude,  WTF?

Balls: WYTAW?

Mysterious Hooded Figure holding a blunt: What day is it today,  asshole?

Balls: Uh, Friday?

MHFH a beer: Seriously?

Balls: Wednesday?

MHFH a blunt: FFS, it’s Monday!! As in MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL!?!?

Balls: You guys know I don’t like the NFL, right?

MHFH a beer: Yes,  we do.

MHFH a blunt: And frankly,  we’re getting a little tired of your bitching.

Balls: Tough,  but fair.

MHFH a beer: So you know what this Open Thread needs to be about,  RIGHT?!?

Balls (sighing): Fiiiiine.  Can I go now?

MHFH a beer: Yes.

Balls (on his way out the door): ORIOLESUCK!

LE FIN

***

TO THE GAME!

Tonight we have the Los Ángeles Doyers Green Bay Packers hosting the Milwaukee Brewers San Francisco 49ers on Game 3 of the NLCS MNF!

What can I say,  I know it’s Wisconsin v California!

If the Packers can keep Aaron Rodgers upright like Danica,  they are headed towards great things this year.  Unfortunately,  his health is as big of a mystery as his relationship with his family.

Which is too bad because A-Rod should be considered as one of the GOATs and he hasn’t benefited from cheating,  favorable officiating,  or Russian-style doping/”supplements” programs.

Instead,  he’s had to deal with Captain Blue Bunny

as coach, an offensive line that compares negatively to a traffic cone and a NY subway turnstile,  and the loss of a talented group of receivers that wanted to get PAID.

Oh, and do the Packers have a running back yet?

Jesús!

On the other side,  we have the 49ers, which,  well,  take a look at this roster:

My condolences to Petronel and Mr. Nel. That roster would have me turning on the VCR and replaying the Super Bowl videos from the 80s.

My thought is that the Packers take care of business at home in a relatively boring game.

/ looks around

// sees that the DFOers are busy drinking

Doyers-Astros World Series.  And the Astros win again…

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Tags:

Leave a Reply

Subscribe
Notify of
369 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
King Hippo

ALSO PLEASE SAFETY

0
The Maestro

Mike McCarthy has spent his entire career residing in the quaint little English village of Turnover-On-Downs.

5
litre_cola

I think that this is banner worthy.

3
blaxabbath

The Maestro is one of the more underrated talents around here, IMO.

Probably because he likes the Pats so tha makes me feel dirty every time he does a good.

0
Unsurprised

That’s brilliant.

0
Unsurprised

What’s the English version of the Wisconsin Dells?

0
Viva La Tabula Raza

Is MLB the only sport where home field advantage doesn’t really mean shit?

0
Mr. Ayo

Ice footy

2
litre_cola

I disagree, last change in ice footy is very important for line matching.

1
blaxabbath

Swimming

1
theeWeeBabySeamus

Aaron might not be as good as everyone thinks.
Just saying.

0
litre_cola

The guys he are throwing to are nawt good at catching. Except the basketball player.

0
blaxabbath

The wheels may have come off. Absolutely no one* owes one immediate criticism of him as a professional.

*divison rivals fans certainly excluded — he’s only going to be struggling in quicksand for a short time so get your boots on, Chigaoans.

0
Spur

I’ve said it better and I’ll say it again, thank god McCarthy wasted Rodgers for all these years.

0
theeWeeBabySeamus

Shoulda kicked. Plenty o’ time.
Oooops.

0
King Hippo

Nope, put SF in horrid field position, gives defense a break.

0
theeWeeBabySeamus

Get the three, then get the stop and play for the win, not the tie.

0
King Hippo

But you gain even more leverage by tying the game up if you just make a 4-yard gain. It’s well-worth it, mathematically. Still plenty of time for 2 possessions.

0
Mr. Ayo

They’d still be down a TD.

0
King Hippo

right, inside the 5 is 100% worth it, maths-wise

0
blaxabbath

Wife was asking me the other day if there were any NFL owners who were good. I told her it was relative, considering the objective evil of the owners. But Paul Allen was the one owner I listed as being by far the best of the NFC West.

Which is explains why he had to die, I’m sure.

1
Brocky

I know i only have myself to blame but fuck it:

Fuck you packers for letting the shitty 49ers offense score a season high points so robbie gould can help me lose by exactly 1/10 th of a point .

Even when they’re losing they find a way to fuck me over

comment image

1
blaxabbath

Big if true.

1
King Hippo

Right now, I am in the exact same situation but JUST hanging on (if SF doesn’t score again and doesn’t gain more than like 45 more yards I will eke it out by a fraction).

0
litre_cola

Does Witten’s suit jacket seem to short on him? He looks like a doofus next to the stylish Italian.

0
Spur

that jacket is fly. i like it’s color
comment image

2
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

0
ArmedandHammered

Putting the Monk in monkey. And yes, technically I know they are apes.

2
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

1
litre_cola

Top of the pops people!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kf44LWY7cdQ

0
Spur

comment image

2
Spur

Rodgers puts away the alkyl nitrites and balls out here

0
Spur

i maintain one of best songs produced in the last 10 years
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=18Gyci5tw74

0
theeWeeBabySeamus

Six weeks? That’s too long….

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fC_q9KPczAg

1
Petronel

Another Goulden nugget thru the uprights

2
King Hippo

GB just can’t tackle for shit.

0
Spur

it’s the buttery fingers.

2
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That reminds me; what do people 50 floors below think of pigeons now?

comment image

1
Petronel

Mmmm, cholesterol burger

1
The Maestro

No doughnuts as buns? SHAMEFUL.

1
Petronel

They’re cutting back…reaaaaally gradually.

1
Spur

comment image

2
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[scrolls back down to the picture of the fat raccoon]

[scrolls back up]

[squints eyes]

[scrolls back down]

[scrolls up again]

No, they’re different guys.

7
Unsurprised

o7

0
theeWeeBabySeamus

The Niners being competent isn’t something I’m prepared to deal with.
Imma go watch some shit on the dvr.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4pi1LxuDHc

0
King Hippo

#WeRAllTomsulas

1
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

3
Viva La Tabula Raza

Pennywise is adjusting his appearance, I see.

2
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

And is not longer on the diet it appears.

0
Spur

i feel bad for him.

1
Unsurprised

Hobo Foie Gras?

0
hippofant

Witten, what the fuck are you talking about?

1
King Hippo

he’s really fucking stupid, even by ex-jock standards

2
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

So he’s not trippin’ balls? Damn it.

1
hippofant

On that one he kinda was. Babbling about how the receiver did a great job getting a hand in to break up a pass, when the pass was underthrown (possibly tipped at the line) and the receiver was the only one close to it.

Now he’s talking about Andy Reid getting “on the airport” or some shit. wtf.

1
King Hippo

hmmmm, I had not considered the Walton Corollary

1
Spur

h
ttps://i.imgur.com/ni95mZX.jpg

1
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Two score lead.

1
Unsurprised

Goddammit, Keeley Hazell

(Her sex tape was shit)

0
Spur

Black people live in GreenBay? Are they relatives of a player?

1
King Hippo

Get a turnover for me, this is DIVISIONAL, damn it.

0
Spur

San Fran showing the Packers where to put it.

0
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

There is a lot of odd fetishes out there.

comment image

1
The Maestro

My Amazon Prime subscription still can’t get the eye bleach here fast enough for my liking.

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I would imagine that bizarre scenarios like this are an interesting change from routine for the girls.

1
Spur

Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson broke up. Thoughts and prayers to those crazy kids.

2
King Hippo

thank fuck I only know who ONE of those dipshits is

0
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I looked the other one up on Linkedin; he is apparently an engineer from Michigan and looking for a project management position in Minneapolis,

2
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

7
The Maestro

SHOCKING, truly,

0
Gratliff

Mason Crosby kicking like his life depends on it because McCarthy showed him his shotgun before the game and threatened to shoot him at midfield if that shit ever happens again

4
BrettFavresColonoscopy

McCarthy would aim at the wrong target anyway

5
King Hippo

if he had a gun, he’d just shoot the veggies on the training table

5
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I think the threat was McCarthy making Crosby watch while he eats a triple cheese burger…. “you miss, we repeat this.”

3
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

3
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Not sure what’s going on here, but HR won’t be happy.

9
the Alpha and the Amoeba

Sauce?

1
Unsurprised

Porn. I assume.

0
Unsurprised

Apolonia & Julia Roca – When Good looking girls play

h

ttps://www.play

vids.com/v/vAmTO20hMJD

0
Unsurprised

Gifs

h

ttp://thumbnails.porncore.net/timetogetnaughty69/126846113306/

0
Spur

Jay Cutler is going to be found out.

2
Senor Weaselo

I haven’t seen things go south for Buehler since… wait right everything turned out fine for Ferris.

3
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Eventually…..

0
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Swipe left?

2
ArmedandHammered

If she has a girlfriend, she is one happy lady.

4
Unsurprised

I wouldn’t mind sounding if she did it.

0
ArmedandHammered

Paul Allen died? Damn.

0
Gratliff

Huh. Wasn’t expecting Garbage. Good for you, MNF.

2
theeWeeBabySeamus

Shirley still mah favorite Scot girl.

1
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

6
Unsurprised

Great lungs

0
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Yeah usually Thursday night football is garbage night

3
Viva La Tabula Raza

SF-GB has been surprisingly competitive. I imagine there’s a collapse coming in the second half.

2
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

7
hippofant

Garbage whoooo

2
herodotus450

Might be 150 years late, but San Francisco finally struck Gould.

3
ArmedandHammered

Clay Matthews looks like the Neanderthal version of Fabio.

1
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Both are fairly convincing in shampoo commercials tho.

2
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Just leaving work. This week already eats balls.

1
King Hippo

Almost like The Darkest Timeline just keeps swirling down, down, down. Yeah?

A buddy of mine was telling me earlier that drowning apparently doesn’t really hurt, contrary to expectations.

0
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

1
King Hippo

Hippo does nae need a distance FG…

0
theeWeeBabySeamus

I think it might be time to unload Alfred Morris for someone who actually is allowed to play next week.

0
King Hippo

PICK IT OFF, YOU ASSDICK!!

0
Redshirt

At times I almost think that Colin Kaepernick is acting like an entitled victim, then I see stuff like Nick Mullens has a job as a NFL QB and Kaep doesn’t and those evil thoughts fade away.

1
Petronel

comment image

2
herodotus450

If the owners were really colluding they would get one team to bite the bullet and sign him, then just wait for him to suck and cut him. Boom, no more lawsuit.

1
Redshirt

It would have to be a Liberal City though. Cincy took a flyer on Reid, but Brown passed because he didn’t say if he would still knee and he didn’t want to alienate a fan base that was already royally pissed off to being with. Now they’re being sued.

0
King Hippo

Ergo, you don’t have to like Kaep (I don’t either) to recognize the situation is much bigger than him personally, and total bullshit.

3
BrettFavresColonoscopy

You know who would be better than Nick Mullens? Jeff George.

-Jason W.

4
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

HA!

0
Redshirt

If a #1 J. George jersey hits the field, forget setting out of court. Goodell just hands Kaep the keys to the League and walks away.

1
Redshirt

Sad thing is if Goodell was a good Commish, he would’ve realized this could cause a schism that could cause irreparable harm to the sport and nation, called Kaep and Reid to NFL HQ and figured out a solution to this before it shitballed out of control.

0
Viva La Tabula Raza

Fuck that guy, but the CoD ad with Clay Matthews is pretty fucking funny.

2
Spur

Does that ball ever go past 3rd base?

0
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

No, it never get to slap against ass.

1
WCS

NAUGHTY WORD!

0
Spur

AJ hawk can eat a Rodgers cock

-1
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Unusual porn parody request.

0
Redshirt

(turns on MNF) (does cartoon-like double-take at the score)

Okay…what’d I miss?

1
Spur

The Steelers claimed they are choirboys and never play dirty.

0
Redshirt

Besides the perpetual.

1
Spur

It’s not even 7pm and am buzzed and watching baseball.

1
Spur

I’ve had 4 “ big” beers. Baseball is looking better

1
1 2 3 4
369
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x