Your Sexy Soccer Saturday Open Thread

Yes,  we are back! The International Break is over and the leagues are back in action and oh kids have we got a full Saturday of delightful Footy action!

Here is the schedule:

This is one of those days that it makes sense to wake up early and have beer for breakfast.

True story: On one of the first of dozens of trips to Las Vegas,  we stayed at the Excalibur in one of the jacuzzi suites.  Yes,  we had female company and yes the jacuzzi was nicely used,  but that’s not the focus of the story. Upon arrival,  I went across the street to the nearest minimart and bought provisions. Breakfast consisted of a pack of Entenmann’s donuts and an oil can of Foster’s lager.

Per person.

I don’t care who you are,  that’s

On to the Burning Questions of the Day!

Question The First

How is DFO’s adopted team,  Young Boys,  doing?

Answer: Da Boys suffered their first defeat of the season,  at home,  against Luzern. In addition,  they’re getting passed around like choirboys at Penn State in the Champions League.

Taeks from the crew:

Wakezilla: “Young Boys don’t keep clean sheets”

King Hippo – “sill spotting from the Juve pounding,  I guess”

Litre_cola – “They are young. They will heal up and get over it…”

Question The Second

How is Balls’ Multi Of The Week doing?

Answer: Not good.  We are 0 for 3, but I take solace in the fact that we have only missed one leg in each multi so far. As Hippo says,  “THAT MEANS WE’RE DUE!”

It’s actually Hippo’s fault we lost the last time. His Everton side was supposed to play nice with Litre’s Fulham side and split the points.  But NOOOOO, they had to beat them 3-0! Considering my predicted Madrid Derby Draw and the West Ham upset of Man U came through,  that one hurt. Speaking of,

Question The Third

Is this the week when Mourinho gets fired?

Answer: Seriously,  how the fuck has he managed to hang on? Does he have pictures of someone in the Man U board fucking a black goat?

On the bright side,  the Red Devils play AT Chelsea in a game that has loss written all over it.  The only problem is that Mourinho will blame the International Break and he’ll probably live to coach another week.

Question The Fourth

What games should we watch today?

Answer: This is, once again, the toughest question of all as we have a great selection of high quality footy matches to entertain us.  Here’s the omakase menu (All times Pacific):

4:00 AM Real Madrid v Levante (will Real ever score again?)

4:30 Chelsea v Manchester United (yes,  you can watch both. 2 screens!)

6:30 AM Stuttgart v Borussia Dortmund

8:00 AM PSG v Amiens SC

9:30 AM Villarreal v Atlético Madrid

11:45 Barcelona v Sevilla (that’s LEAGUE-LEADING Sevilla!)

3:00 PM Querétaro v Cruz Azul

5:00 PM América v Tijuana

7:00 PM Necaxa v León

Question The Fifth

Do you have a Balls Multi Of The Week?

Answer: Yes we do! We’re going with some exotic betting options this time:

Leg 1 – PSG v Amiens SC OVER 2.5 goals – 1.25

Leg 2 – Juventus to WIN – 1.2

Leg 3 – Sevilla to WIN OR DRAW – 3.4

Add them up and what do you have?

5.1

JUMP ON IT!