Your “Supplies Running Low. Only 17 Beers Left. Send Help” Sunday Night Football Open Thread

It’s about time we saw the greatness that is Cody Kessler! He actually didn’t play that badly, did he? I’m not gona actually check out what the Jags braintrust said after the game but I do hope we see a Kessler run next week. Overseas, no less. I’d go over some other high/lowlights but that would mean stepping on King Hippo’s junk and I’m not the type. Nope, not me. Definitely not a junk-stepper. One last tilt to go folks… TO THE GAME!

Bengals/Chiefs:

Kansas City is scoring at a rate of 35 per game. Cincy is scoring at a lower rate. The Chiefs have a colander-centric defensive scheme that is quite generous to their opponents. The Bengalis have a wee bit of talent on their team. Here is my prediction-

Joe Mixon? He scores.

Kareem Hunt? He scores.

Tyler Boyd? He scores.

A.J. Green? He scores.

Tyler Eifert? He scores.

Tyreek Hill? He scores.

Travis Kelce? He scores.

John Ross? He doesn’t score.

Sammy Watkins? He scores.

C.J. Uzomah? He scores.

And there you have it. The scorenami ends in the Chiefs winning because that Mahomes kid just can’t be rattled. But don’t you fret-I’ve got faith in Andy Reid and his Gawd-given ability to undermine the talent at his disposal, no matter what level. It won’t happen tonight but somewhere down the road there will be diagrams scribbled on sweaty, marinara-stained napkins. Those napkins will ensure that the Chiefs don’t even sniff the success due them. It’s The Andy Reid Way.

Smoke ’em if ya got ’em. Otherwise, treat yourself to an ice cream sandwich.

 

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Senor WeaseloDoktor ZymmUnsurprisedballsofsteelandfuryBrick Meathook Recent comment authors
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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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Doktor Zymm

If I know underwear like that, she almost certainly still has a wedgie, despite the frontal position

Senor Weaselo

It’s officially “Fuck it I’m making cocoa” time. In fairness if I wasn’t apparently catching a cold it would be green apple cider time but that’ll have to wait until after work Tuesday night. (Because as of now I’m only teaching two days a week.)

Senor Weaselo

Can’t believe I’m saying this but I added too much cinnamon.

Doktor Zymm

Either dilute, or try putting a potato in it

Senor Weaselo

I mean it was still fine, I drank it. It was just not as smooth as I would’ve liked it.
/Does a Reaper test for House of Pain eventually because fucking dumb

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Doktor Zymm

Oh good, none of those are me

ballsofsteelandfury

I repeat, Quotables results are up!

See who got their name in the paper this week!

For a good reason, for once…

Doktor Zymm

Rick and Morty time I think

Spur
Spur

can we add the function to see who upvoted our comment? Trivial but….

ballsofsteelandfury

Trust me, we all want it, but there are technical difficulties that have prevented that from happening.

hippofant
hippofant

I WILL UPVOTE THIS.

Spur
Spur

At least my sleeper pick, Sex Panthers, are still alive.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

— Bill Cosby

Fronkenshteen

Just lost a 7 team parlay on Reid going for it on 4th and 4 at the 6 up 45-10. Fuck everything.

Spur
Spur

God hates you. Would you like to watch Basketball with me?

Fronkenshteen

I’m gonna smoke weed and listen to World War One atrocity documentaries.

Spur
Spur

hardcore history WWI podcast? I’ve listened to that 3-5 times now.

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

I love that series.

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

Hasnt he suffered enough?

Doktor Zymm

To be fair, if the Bengals had sucked less that would have won it for you too. There’s PLENTY of people to blame.

ballsofsteelandfury

Did you change the Chargers bet?

Fronkenshteen

No. I lost that parlay. So at 12:30, I put in another one. Would’ve paid $75 on a $3 stake. All I had left was ATL (-190) to win, and NYG/ATL OVER 52.5.
I am unthrilled with Andy Reid right now.

ballsofsteelandfury

Bummer. I’m guessing you had the OVER…

Spur
Spur

I’ll watch baseball on Tuesday. Los Dodgers are the pick right?

Doktor Zymm

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Gratliff

It is utter bullshit that Japan gets these good ass candies

Doktor Zymm

These are the REAL issues that could unite America

Gratliff

Can’t see any way eating chocolate bars with pieces of corn in them could be unappealingcomment image

Spur
Spur

Who doesnt need the extra fiber?

Doktor Zymm

I had a butter Kit-Kat once that was amazing, I trust them to do sweet corn right

Gratliff

Going down the rabbit hole. The actual fuck is going on with Kit Kat in Japan? comment image

Doktor Zymm

They do loads of special edition and seasonal packs, plus just having lots more flavors on the reg than we do

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

They don’t have time to fuck or sleep, so the least they can have in the 20 hours away from home is a treatie treat.

Spur
Spur

I’m sad we never saw Romo with the current Dallas D and Zeke……….the mind wanders.

Gratliff

My twitter feed is now just full of degenerate gamblers RAGING at the fat man

King Hippo

arguably, he should have done similar things a whole two drives ago

Spur
Spur

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ballsofsteelandfury

QUOTABLES RESULTS ARE UP!

Doktor Zymm

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Spur
Spur

Best episode is when they went to Morocco.

Doktor Zymm

100% agreed

Gratliff

Andy Reid will always fuck you somehow

Spur
Spur

throw it to Watkins!

Spur
Spur

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Doktor Zymm

Garlic powder or gtfo

Spur
Spur

Artichokes on pizza is awesome.

Doktor Zymm

‘Barely got beat by the Steelers a couple weeks ago’
LOL
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Gratliff

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King Hippo

I bet he’s just like, SUPER NORMAL in conversation!

Spur
Spur

apple user, proceed with caution

Gratliff

Nothing says personal liberty like not being allowed to fix shit you buy

Doktor Zymm

This is my favorite comment ever.

Spur
Spur

Marino?

Gratliff

Congratulations Minnesota on that wild finish on the absolute last play of the playoffs

Spur
Spur

tons of time for AJ Green to get 3 TDs and throw 1 TD pass.

Romonobyl

I wonder how many times Michelle told the driver he should have turned right.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Fronkenshteen

Please Dalton. One more TD.

Spur
Spur

those magic undies work?

Gratliff

The fuck did that cougar not just immediately maul her?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur
Spur

it’s a dog.

the Mountain Lion just ate 2 dogs and just wanted to sleep.

Romonobyl

Golly, now might be a good time to sit the starters maybe?

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

No! need more Mahomesdowns

Spur
Spur

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Romonobyl

This is why panties should be outlawed.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WHAT?

Senor Weaselo

Shanked it!

Gratliff

Andy’s gonna call a statue of liberty play from his own 1 to lose in the divisional round.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That is what I tell myself to get to sleep at night.

Spur
Spur

Tomorrow’s Giants and Falcons game might be fun for all the wrong reasons

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

1-5 at 2-4? Should be a gem.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Did I read somewhere that this was originally an afternoon game that got flexed to this evening? Whoops.

Doktor Zymm

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Romonobyl

Loved that show.

Doktor Zymm

Next time I’m drunk I plan on impulse purchasing it off Amazon

Romonobyl

King Hippo

my best friend and I did all our improv skits in junior high drama class based on Young Ones premises

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Andy Reid’s after game celebration.

King Hippo

gee, who asked for something from the “writing genius” behind True Blood, but without the graphic sex, violence, or profanity? That should be a real hoot.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur
Spur

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Hey! One of the DFO policies is not to show gore and tragedy!!

Fronkenshteen

Need Cincy to score so KC will keep Mahomes & KHunt in.

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

How the fuck are you doing? I just spent the last 2 hours in the ER with a dislocated shoulder from hockey. 0/10. Would not recommend.

But I’m in the money for GAMBLOR. So I got that going for me, which is nice.

King Hippo

get some pills at least?

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

Unfortunately no

Doktor Zymm

They pop it back in and give you some pain pills? Welcome!

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

NO! just Tylenol

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

I’m shocked to hear that owners don’t care about player safety. Or Collinsworth hiding their names.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

I paid for these toys! I can break them for my amusement if I want!

-Anonymous NFL owner

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Ha ha “anonymous” yeah right we all know it was Mark Davis

Doktor Zymm

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King Hippo

So we kinda looked forward to this game, this means the dreaded Falcons/Gigantes will be awesome, right?

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

I appreciate the optimism. But we’ll at least get more Manning face.

Doktor Zymm

Define ‘awesome’

Col. Duke LaCross

With the way this weekend is going, that’ll be the game that finally knocks me out of our suicide pool.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Don’t do it!! There is still joy in life!

Plus drowning is not a good way to go.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

In a car wreck sorta way?

Spur
Spur

Fallon is everything I hate.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He’s everything I’m meh about.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I feel bad for you that your hate range is so limited.

/perhaps I should feel good for you

King Hippo

My FF scoring window has an ad for “The American Cannabis Summit” featuring John Fucking Boehner

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Fronkenshteen

Fucking hospital ball

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Current mood:

fleshwound_NPG
fleshwound_NPG

almost time for another cincy FG attempt

Fronkenshteen

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!