Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 7, 2018 Season

Another week in the books, further differentiation at hand.

We definitely have a runaway leader for Superb Owl favourites, in the 7-0 RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! crew.  After playing a few close matches, LA’s finest decided not to be cute and disposed of the Tomsulas with brutal efficiency.  Todd Gurley continues his “even more obvious than 2017” MVP campaign.  Santa Clara might be borken now.

Similarly, the Chefs pace the AFC, after blasting Cincy on SNF, 45-10.  I’m not sure the game was really as close as the scoreline would indicate.  Mahomes-y could have put up pretty much whatever number he wanted, but at some point mercy kicked in.

After that, I see of tier of maybe four, though the cutoff is more nebulous.  Interestingly enough. these four all played one another on Sunday.  N’Awlins went into Charm City and escaped with a 24-23 win, thanks to Justin Tucker’s first ever professional missed extra point.  I take it as a heavenly rejoinder to criticism of the Titans decision to go for 2 in London (see below).  Overall, this was just a really good game, closely fought and showed the Saints having some ability to fight (and win) outside their comfort zone.

I’d have the P*ts and Bearistocrats! in the next tier, as well.  New England is beating good teams now, and I am as disgusted as anyone by it (but have to acknowledge it as more than a passing fad).  Chi**** just needs to solder up its leaky defensing unit, and hope that Biscuit del Verdad’s athleticism outweighs his idiocy most weeks.  They certainly make for an interesting watch, at minimum.

Shitty Clippers are 5-2, but nobody believes it’s real – and for good reason.  They tried hard to give away the London fixture, but Tennessee failed twice on the winning 2-point play.  It was deffo the right decision, though.  King Laserface was throwing all over the Tits’ secondary, and would have had a significant advantage in overtime.  One close to 50/50 play was the best odds play TN had, and kudos to them for not playing it by the book.  Also, the “sure” extra point is no sure thing, anyway (see Tucker, Justin and his amyl poppers eyes from yesterday).

Minny-SEW-ta climbed to 4-2-1 with a road win over the Jest.  I just can’t take a team led by Captain Dingleberry seriously.  Sorry.  Adam Thielen is having an amazeballs season, though.

Don’t look now, but the once-heroic Iggles may have a fatal case of Superb Owl hangover.  A boring 17-0 Q4 lead turned bananacakes fast, with Cam going Superman for reals and directing 3 TD drives to take the lead.  A long PI penalty put Philly in great field position with more than a minute left, but Dakota Jeebus couldn’t manage another first down.  21-17, Black Panthers.  Nice statement win for them, too.

Philly gets similarly reeling Jacksonville in next week’s final London fixture of the season.  This week’s disaster piece was a home shellacking to the 500s, of all sides.  20-7, complete with a BORT! benching.  Yes, backup Cody Kessler got the only 7.  Ouch.

I suppose the Redacteds might just be the team to watch in the NFC Least.  Ryan Kerrigan finally has enough help to shine, as he did making with the strip-sack-TD to cement the 20-17 home win over DAK! and the non-gendered Cowpersons.  Well, I say “cement” but a series of questionable decisions and execution gave the Pokes a chance to tie the game late, but fortunately they got a (perhaps dodgy) penalty, pushing the FG attempt back to 52-yards, letting Goddess Bless do Her thing.

Speaking of kicker adventures…poor #ThePauls.  They scratch and claw their way into OT, aided by Canyonero missing an extra point, then a 40-yarder at the end of regulation.  Defense comes up big, forces a punt in the extra period, but they fumble.  But defense puts Rapey Jameis on his back, looks like they will at least secure Glorious Draw…until they get enough of a chunk to try a 59-yard FG on 4th down.  Which is what #ThePauls tried a few weeks ago, it only gives up field position and costs you the sure point.  Right?  Nope, Canyonero makes a new career long, and Baker Mayfield does a great ManningFace imitation.

Did you notice anything about the Lions’ win in Miami?  Me neither.

Finally, we had Most Glorious Scorigami in Humpville, with the home side demolishing Horse Balls and the Bills, 37-5.  Thank fuck for hopelessly awry shotgun snaps, eh?