Your “Hue, We Hardly Knew Ya” Monday Night Football Open Thread

There’s a wee bit more fallout than usual this day that is the beginning of the work week for most and the end for selected others.

Hue’s extraordinarily underwhelming 3-36-1 record gets put to bed. I’ll wager $10,000 Hippo bucks that he never sniffs a head coaching job again because what fan base would ever put up with his hiring? I daren’t say the guy was in over his head. He had complete shit to work with for his first two years on the job and just couldn’t close the deal 4 different times this season. The guy made the Brownies competitive this year but just couldn’t get them over the hump. I feel he deserved to coach out the season at the very least. Management could then hand the reins over to a different dude that could bring something else to the table. Hell, Bellichick couldn’t get the members of this organization all pointed in the same direction! Hue almost made it happen.

Browns OC Boss Todd was tossed as well. I’m sure his (rumoured) abrasive personality was a contributing factor that will receive nary a mention in the national media. Whatever, the guy is going to end up being a qb coach on some team next year and he’ll slowly work his way back to an OC gig at some point down the line. Why? Because old white decision-makers just love themselves old re-treads. That’s why.

There’s plenty o’other things to yak about which no doubt will be covered off by some very esteemed commenters so I’ve got just one more thing to say… TO THE GAME!

Armpitriots/One Dollar Bills

New England wins in a walk. [spits]

That was easy. The prime directive tonight is to finish off all half-empty bottles of wine and what have you. ADEQUATE LEVELS OF PRODUCTION AT WORK TOMORROW BE DAMNED!

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The Maestro

In roundball news, the Warriors just scored 92 points.

In one half.

Sharkbait

Yawn. Just give them the title now.

Romonobyl

The New England P*triots of the hardwood.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Jesus. I see that Klay Thompson has 36 points; he should go after Kobe’s big night just because fuck that rapist Kobe Bryant.

litre_cola

Has anyone thrown a phallic like object at booger?

Sharkbait

Booger looks miserable in the snotmobile

The Maestro

Hard to look miserable while wearing Louis Vuitton, but he’s pulling off the look somehow.

litre_cola

Sorry I am late, Gronk no play?

King Hippo

been targeted twice IIRC

Romonobyl

By Predator drones I hope.

JustStopDude

I think the Bills are the shittiest team in the league with the best uniforms.

The worst team in the league with the worst unis…Tampa Bay Cremesicles.

rockingdog

psyched josh gordon is getting playing time…

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“It’s not intentional grounding if Tom Brady does it.”

...

The same guy who acknowledged “horse balls” has a burning hatred of Tom Brady. Says him being a Patriot is only the *5th* worst thing about him. Will inquire about the top 4.

herodotus450

1. Michigan
2. Michigan
3, His whiny screechy voice
4. Michigan

...

Michigan is top 3 for him!

Brick Meathook

His stupid fucking socks.

The Maestro

The exercise and diet regime quackery.

King Hippo

mouth kissing his son

herodotus450

Never understood why the phrase “Person of Color” seems to be politically correct these days, but from now on, or at least on October 29th of each year, it should be changed to “Person of Hue.”

JustStopDude

I don’t think referencing utter and complete failure whenever you interact with a minority is a great way to bring people together.

Romonobyl

Brady runs like Cam Newton with his shoelaces tied together.

The Maestro

Tom Brady, ABSOLUTE UNIT.

...

Why do players not Bernard Pollard him?!

The Maestro

They can see the red sniper dots pointed at their chests if they even thought about it.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh I thought the league wired explosive devices into their helmets.

King Hippo

they should quick kick, seriously

The Maestro

But Doug Flutie isn’t on the roster anymore!

King Hippo

the size of Horse Balls’ testicles could get in the way, true

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Nah, even if the refs don’t see, you’ll still end up getting fined by the league.” – Ndamukong Suh

King Hippo

who do they think that dumb shit will work in 2018?

King Hippo

Just get some points so the P*ts D/ST total isn’t ridiculous, please

King Hippo

Who on earth is “McCloud III” at WR for BUF??

The Maestro

Next thing you know they’ll be bringing in Buckshank at corner.

herodotus450

Yeah what the fuck? There can only be I!

Brick Meathook

MCCLOUD!!!
comment image?w=227&h=300

yeah right

Because McMillan and wife have the week off.
Next week: Columbo!

Viva La Tabula Raza

Sad that I’m old enough to get that reference.

herodotus450

Own a musket for home defense, since that’s what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. “What the devil?” As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he’s dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it’s smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, “Tally ho lads” the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I don’t see the referees giving this one to the Patriots; it’s just not important enough.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I mean if this was late in the fourth quarters and the Bills were somehow leading, sure, but not now.

King Hippo

exactly

King Hippo

wow, not even CLOSE

LemonJello

Did the Deep State slip peyote into both OC’s pre-game meal?

King Hippo

c’mon JewkahDOWN

blaxabbath

::opens fire::

-Suburban White Woman

King Hippo

Leaving James White completely unmarked is an…interesting strategy.

The Maestro

This is what happens when you get Cotton McKnight calling the defensive formations.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I feel like that 2nd and 10 was the most adversity the Patriots will face tonight.

Romonobyl

So is this Monday Night Football on ESPN or a rerun of The Replacements on USA?

LemonJello

Gronk needs more Tide Pods for fuel, apparently.

Romonobyl

Fun Factoid: He doesn’t actually “eat” them.

blaxabbath

He dips them like chaw.

Romonobyl

Your partly right about it being in his cheeks.

King Hippo

that is where my mind went!

herodotus450

Years of ppr fantasy football has instilled a Pavlovian response in me to the phrase “T. Brady passed to J. Edelman for 11 yards.” THAT’S TWO POINTS BABY!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Um…is there a giant panda doing sideline reporting in the English broadcast, too?

The Maestro

Are you watching on ESPN Deportes??

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

ESPN2, according to my Roku.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

But yes, the commentary is in Spanish.

Romonobyl

I’m curious, what happens when you hit the SAP button?

King Hippo

Latvian?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I haven’t been able to find the SAP button on my TV.

...

So when I saw that Derek Anderson was described as an “old stallion” I muttered “horse balls” and the guy next to me at that bar heard me and affirmed Anderson is and forever will be Horse Balls.

blaxabbath

Where did horse balls come from?

Spanky Datass

Apparently the original KSK article is gone but maybe you could find a vintage tee-shirt over at spreadshirtmedia.com.comment image

Col. Duke LaCross

I kinda dig this all-trickeration offense.

The Maestro

This is me in Madden. But I’d never use the Bills.

Senor Weaselo

My Madden Mobile offense is “run HB Blast and bounce it to the outside until that stops working, then throw long, then repeat step 1”

Senor Weaselo

TRICKERATION… wait it’s incomplete. Never mind.

rockingdog

ummm I think this game is gonna be close

Viva La Tabula Raza

Nah, Buffalo just shot their entire wad in that first possession.
But I hope they keep doing crazy college plays.

The Maestro

Howdy, folks. Y’all ready for a whoopin’?

blaxabbath

– AD The Clown

blaxabbath

I call this Jamaican place near us to order takeout. Guy tells me I only need to call ahead for the red snapper and that I can just come in. I ask if I can still just order by phone and grab it. No, he says, just come in. I drive over and they have a sign on the door – closed til 11a tomorrow.

When Trump starts populating his concentration camps — and he will be populating many of them — trying to save the guy who answered the phone will not the hill I die on.

Senor Weaselo

Wait, did Josh Allen die or something that Horse Balls is starting?

The Maestro

Yup. Gone at least 2-3 more weeks.

King Hippo

the 7-Nation Army bellowing makes me feel a little better about what is gonna happen to these

Senor Weaselo

Dresden-level firebombings?

herodotus450

Ah, is there any greater invention than the day-old discount baked good? I HAVE to eat this whole cake, it was on sale!

King Hippo

#SacredDuty

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Is there some reason to believe it was more than just a standard nightclub shooting?

JustStopDude

Well it was “Purge” themed party…so I guess this is on the victims…

rockingdog

found a funny:
[clumsily rollerblades in] alright this is a robbery

Spanky Datass

The weekly “medicinal” delivery to the clubhouse is getting out of hand.comment image

Petronel

Nice to see that Hippo’s putting our Prime membership to good use.

Redshirt

You guys should probably put some inflatable crash pads down around the clubhouse, when the Bengals inevitably bring Hue Jackson back and I jump through a window.

Wakezilla

Are you sure you want pads? Maybe we just let the concrete end your misery if that were to happen?

King Hippo

he’s pro-life so he has to at least pretend

LemonJello

/makes note to order those ACME pads with anvils in them, as endorsed by Wile E. Coyote, Supergenius Esq.

comment image

Senor Weaselo

As long as the P*ts just score TDs and not field goals I’ll be okay—I’m up by about 7.5 on Shogun in the DFO League but he has Gostkowski. I think I’d have the tiebreaker still between everyone since I have the most points, but still, game lead and then fuck it up in the semis sounded like more fun.

King Hippo

I’m neck and neck with Brocky, like 3 point lead plus JEWKAH! against Gordon. Quite happy Josh is on Grumblelord’s naughty list, and he might play restricted snaps.

You get me on heavy bye carcass status Week 9! 😀

Viva La Tabula Raza

So I’ve got an $8M project to renovate a large barracks at a local Army base in San Antonio. We’ve just about completed the demolition phase inside and are working on outdoor stuff such as sidewalks and patios and such. The project has had some problems but thus far they’ve been manageable (unforeseen site conditions, such as shit behind walls and above dropped ceilings, manifest themselves in almost every renovation project).
This morning I get a call from the base civil engineering folks asking me can we put a contractual stop-work on the project and have the contractor vacate the premises right away? Like, today?
Turns out that the empty wings of the barracks building (those we haven’t torn up) have been chosen to house part of the “surge” of troops that El Presidente has ordered to the border to protect us all from the Caravan of Crazed Caucasian Killers that are heading towards the southern border like a extinction-event asteroid.
So we did.
Your tax dollars at play.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I want to say three years ago my college started the process of getting rid of asbestos in their older buildings. One other old building is closed this semester.

Old buildings have some crazy shit.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Biggest problem we have is the lack of as-built diagrams of buildings, some of which are 60 or more years old, and have had numerous modifications over the years with no record of such. This makes the design process problematic.

JustStopDude

Scariest steel mill I ever worked at was in PA. The fucking facility was over 100 years old.

Dear god there was not a single drawing or diagram we could use.

Brick Meathook

I worked on the former Alameda Naval Air Station across from San Francisco back in the 90’s. We did the VFX for What Dreams May Come (“Painted World” sequence, won the Oscar for best VFX) and our offices were in an airplane hanger, that we used as a stage (The Well of Souls!). All the old steam piping was covered in plastic because asbestos, and there were way-cool pneumatic message tubes everywhere (they didn’t work). They were having difficulty redeveloping the base because there were underground fuel lines everywhere but apparently no maps.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

MAN THAT MOVIE SUCKED ASS!

Visual effects were very good, though.

Brick Meathook

It was pretty dumb, but our sequence is still the greatest piece of motion picture VFX footage ever created in the history of the whole universe.

JustStopDude

That would be Battlefield Earth and you know it…

ballsofsteelandfury

In those cases, I always advocate demo with a specialty contractor assuming everything is dirty and then rebuild as much as possible from scratch.

Keeps everything nice and easy.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Fiscal responsibility, brought to you by the Republican Party.

Senor Weaselo

*The Caravan of Crazed Caucasian Killers is in no way affiliated to the Krazed Kaukasian Killers.

JustStopDude

I’m not saying I am having as bad of a week as Hue…but it personally feels close…

On Tuesday I came back from NL. By Wednesday, I could tell I had bronchitis. Set up a doc appointment for today. Sunday, couldn’t start my car because my battery shit the bed.

So I get a ride from my coworker and his wife. I had my cell phone in the back seat because I was checking for directions to the auto parts place. I get a battery, walk back out to their car, and we go to my place.

I install the battery…and then notice “shit I left my phone in the other car!”

So I send off an email and the wife says she can’t find it. I went over their twice to check. Then I went to the auto parts place to see maybe if I took it out on the counter…but nope. They have no idea what I am talking about.

I’ve torn apart my car, my garage, and my fucking house and I cannot find the damn thing. I can’t image I would drop it and not hear the fucking thing bang on the ground.

But when people call it, it goes instantly to voice mail, making me suspect that someone has already turned it off.

I’ve already changed my work email password. That is literally the only thing that is on the phone that I am worried about. And the phone is finger print encrypted, so you have to wipe the whole thing and start from scratch.

But I am annoyed because the sim card is just a burner card. So I can’t just move it to my backup phone. And so this means I need a new number…which means I need to update every fucking account that uses my number as its also my main work number. And so new business cards, updating my email signature, fucking all my insurance and banking contact.

On a positive, I can “accidentally forget” to tell my family what my new number is.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

This one is real and Patriot related: I had no idea John Hannah was white until I saw him on some “Football Countdown” show. I assumed he was black because Patrice O’Neal wore his jersey on Tough Crowd w/CQ once.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

This has been a rather enjoyable listen and random find:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8y3nM6tEqw

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Uncle Ed once went to a postgame party at Jim Kelly’s house circa 1992. Said Thurman Thomas would call himself “T-H squared”, and Marv Levy would bring a bottle of Manischewitz just for him and Bruce Smith.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Hue finally getting fired is a little bittersweet for me. I was able to take some small (okay, large) measure of joy in ever Cleveland loss because it validated my insistence that he was the worst coach in NFL history. But now…all of that is over. I’d love it if Cleveland would start winning right away, but they won’t.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh, who am I kidding, I am fucking JUICED that Hue got sent packing. Did he ever actually jump into the lake, though?

JustStopDude

Nope. The fucker said he would do it at the end of this season.

Add this to the unending list of shit he never fucking accomplished in Cleveland.

Edit…I’m an idiot. He did actually do this. I am brain farting.

ArmedandHammered

I thought he did, it was in the first episode of Hard Knocks.

ArmedandHammered

Do I think he was a great coach, fuck no, but considering the turds he had to try and build a team with? He probably did as much as anybody else could. It would be interesting (never going to happen) to see if he could actually do anything with a real roster instead of who dat and qb’s whose talent was about as real as Manti Teo’s girlfriend. Shit, the 2016 roster has names that would look more like rosters from a cheaply made NFL knockoff game where they couldn’t afford the rights to real players names. And considering Haslem takes draft advice from hobos I bet that Hue had about as much input into the team make up as I do with America’s middle east policy.

Basically a few of those games where the ref’s fucking over the Browns (more so than any other team), which the NFL even admitted after the fact should probably have been wins, at least 2 of them.

Not sure why I am defending him, but who is a worse coach, one who had no name players and seems to try or McCarthy who has talented players and his “coaching” seems to hurt the team more than help.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Hue. Hue is the worse coach.

It wasn’t the roster. Sure, the roster was bad. Many teams have had rosters that were bad. The 1976-77 Bucs were vastly worse. But Hue managed to lose all the coin tosses, too! His Browns teams were 1-6-1 in overtime. They were 3-14-1 in one-score games. Every time he got close, he just managed to find a new way to lose.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I mean if their kicker didn’t completely shit his dick in Week 2, they beat the Saints.

herodotus450

Maybe hiring Hue Jackson was a purposeful sabotage by Brownies management, and now they think they’ve got enough talent to compete so they bring in a real cooch. If you need to tank, hire Hank Hue.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

The Ebony and Ivory of getting shitcanned. I like that rule, if you fire a black coach one of his white assistants must go too.

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