Fine, there are two other games on the 4pm slate but I maintain they are more theoretical than actual. Sure, I guess ‘players’ will be ‘playing’ and acquiring ‘stats’ that can be used by ‘agents’ to negotiate ‘contracts’ and ‘endorsements’. And yes, the ‘money’ paid to those individuals will be used to acquire ‘cars’ and ‘houses’ that will surely impress ‘females’. Those females will likely get injected with ‘goo’ and go on to form ‘small meat bags’ in their lower ‘torsos’. But you tell me, how do I get my ‘share’?
TO THE GAMES!
Texans/Broncs:
The very recent wide receiver past (D. Thomas) doesn’t really collide with the present wide receiver future (Courtland Sutton) when these two squadoos strap on their game corsets. But something will be made of this to a very sparse viewing audience. Both qb’s will be looking at significant pressure being applied and if Keenum has a wee bit of time he should have success against the intramural-level corners the Texans employ. Denver’s 2nd best running attack is going against Houston’s #1 rated ground D so is this a low-scoring one-score tussle?
Chargers/Seahawks:
The original Legion of Boom has gone by the wayside personnel-wise but the same habit of turning the ball over 2+ times per game remains-a vital stat contributing to Seattle winning four of their last five. No slouches themselves, L.A. has won 4 straight and only lost to the Chiefs and Rams.
Rams/Saints:
This is your legit NFC Champeenship game and each side is pretty much 100% healthy-each missing only one starter on D. After a gorgeous start Goff has cooled off and averaged a mere 232 yards passing the last three games. There’s not enough Cooks in the Rams O as far as my fantasy team is concerned. In You Win Some, You Taysom News: Them Rammers best not get themselves in 3rd and short spots on the regular or it all might come crashing down. Here’s a stat that blew what’s left of my noggin-wr Thomas has 58 catches on 64 (64!!!) targets. That’s nuts.
Let’s dream a little dream. Not a big one-those get out of hand.
I am not a stat guy but since their Superb Owl win the Ravens were 44-44. The .500s take umbrage with that.
CHALLENGE THAT SHIT!!
That’s a Hekker of a close call.
Owns Kamara in my money leagues. THAT IS FUCKING FANTASTIC. Sorry to see Ingram go.
playing the Kamara team in money league (the guy 1 game behind me in division). My ass hurts,
boink!
dun dun dun dun dun dun
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!!
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!!
Donks on teh move!! Threw it to the Izod guy
Bradley Chubb is likely Defensive ROY, was a FANTASTIC pick, all 4 rookie QBs look so-so at best, and Donks’ internet is so dumb they can’t stop bitching about passing on a QB.
OH HELL YES I GOT MY FIRST TWITTER TIMEOUT LOL
how how? show us how!
I think it’s because I called someone “immensely fucking stupid” for agreeing with Dinesh D’Souza but I don’t know because Twitter didn’t tell me.
I’d be kinda annoyed if it’s that because I was indirectly defending Nate Silver and I don’t feel great about that.
against D’Sousa? TOTES NOBLE
Honestly a Twitter break will do me some good lol
just lose your shit in our nice, SAFE SPACE clubhouse with all your imaginary pals!
Honestly I respect the people here enough not to go full Twitter shithead here because I know how obnoxious I can be
Eagles have a 6 game stretch that involves Texans, Saints, and Rams, and it’s gonna be super bad.
Losing to a non-existent team will really hurt.
Chris Harris Jr. not guarding Hopkins? Interesting strategery, Donks.
paying Aaron Donald does not seem to have made him “lazy”
Nice quick astute observation by our own Mr. Deadly led to a most easy payout by taking the Jets/ Miami under.
That shit felt like free money!
Plus! 3 of my 4 team parlay games covered. Just one left for a big ass payday!
LinkedIn: Creepy grim dystopian surveillance state
Facebook: A digital recreation of the sundowning Boomer mind
Twitter: Battle Royale but where the Nazis can post photoshops of you being pushed in a gas chamber but you get killed for telling them to snack on your taint
We’ve got our Chubb on WOO!!
HAI internet friends! We are enjoying this game and hate fucking the night one right?
I plan on enjoying both, since I am in the extreme minority here as a Pats fan.
Huzzah!
MEL!
GODDAMN, Todd Gurley can play
Need a 200 burger today
even that won’t suffice for me, but I am enjoying his majesty
Wait I thought they were the Rahms, not Rams.
Nope, they haven’t been responsible for widespread inner-city school closures.
Yet.
They won’t be Rahms until they quit right before a game where they know they’ll get their asses beat.
WHAT THE ABSOLUTE TITTYFUCK IS A CATCH??
The Aristocatch!
let me take a big drink of water and watch this review….
come on baby buster!!!! start slinging it!!!
if he throws 7 TDs (NONE to Cooks), and 3 of ’em are to Gurley, I has shot
Can someone please tell me if Sony is playing tonight? Fucking Bill
At least once in my life, I want to sit in a place where I can legit slap a football player in the ass. Which stadium is my best chance?
Lambeau, if you can somehow get in position for a Leap.
That’s the classic, but is it the best, from an affordability/accessibility ratio standpoint? It might be, but I would guess those seats are ALL season ticket holders.
Just kill them and wear their skin?
Or are we sticking to more ethical options?
This sounds good, I’ll need the warmth
Just find out where the local Pop Warner games are being played, and then brush up on Megan’s Law.
Just have to choose between a mitten’d ass slap and frostbite.
scotchnaut: says that Rams can’t get into 3rd and short situations lest they get wrecked by Taysom Hill
Rams: get into 3rd and 1
Hill: gains 9 yards on a QB keeper
Can’t say they weren’t warned, after all.
LinkedIn is a creepy as fuck website but sometimes its creepiness tells you an ex-girlfriend was looking at your profile lol.
“What if we made a social network based on continually projecting a bullshit image of ourselves as successful cogs in the capitalist machine BUT ALSO made it feel like a dystopian surveillance state?”
I approve everyone who connects with me on linkedin. Something like 80% of my connections are international, with the majority being Muslim.
Stupid sexy Taysom!
A Drew Brees keeper, they’ll never see it coming! Literally!
The White unis are the Chargers’ worst unis.
Eagles bye week strategy should be hoping for a body bag game in Louisiana
NOPE YOU ARE NEITHER PLAYING NIRVANA, NOR TALKING ABOUT TEENS, NOTHING SMELLS LIKE TEEN SPIRIT
Are the Saints helmets a matte finish? They looked dull a week or two ago but they look pretty shiny today.
Wait, the guy God friended on the TV show is an atheist? What an edgy twist!
Joe, Troi, AND Erin seem to have spent a little too much time in the head-tallener machine.
“Its just me, my escapist tendencies,
and these tits.”
Everything I ever looked for in a woman.
As far as piss beer goes, PBR 5.9% is honestly some pretty good shit.
For an extra jolt, pour in a shot of Everclear.
Ah yes, the “Death Wish”, a Midwest classic order!
Ride the Brown River, baby!
The Blue Wave didn’t always mean Democrats…but I guess the Seahawks did do a thing
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-9AdWthjfU
Maybe for Military Month the NFL can throw an event where they send some NFL players to the border with the troops to protect us from the Killer Karavans. Viva la Operation Frightful idiot, err, Faithful Patriot!
Featuring Middle Easterners!
if you do wants $50 free, my book had Debbie Stabenow at only like -530 to win Tuesday. This will be an absolute blowout under any possible circumstances.
$40 on Donks WOO! and when I saw that was a jinx, I put $40 on N’Awlins.
ah LOVVVVVE 2 RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!!
When I think of BLATHERING I think of Terry Bradshaw
No mention yet by announcers of how badly Keenum sucked when he played for the Texans.
If a troop ever had breast cancer, do you think the nfl would tell us about it?
not in the same goddamned week we won’t! – Roger G., 7th circle of hell
Gonna be weird having two games to flip between on the late card. Doesn’t happen very often down here.
Wasn’t going to starting drinking yet, but…..
I don’t remember that from Bewitched, but if anyone deserves it, it’s her.
Lest we forget where RAM IT comes from.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QxkKlzInR4Y
#Yeah!
The most enduring legacy of the superbowl shuffle is the absurdly high number of limitations
Just so you know, cats do not like being sneezed on.
RAAMMMMIITTTTTTT
im betting russel wilson gets his leg torn off…
Time to have exactly one beer and call Nagy a dumbfuck for using his starters to run up a score and get one of them injured.
Puppy