Your “We Aren’t Family!” Sunday Night NFL Football Open Thread

Outside of Aaron and his family no one much knows why he and his family are estranged. In tonight’s episode of Wildly Irresponsible Speculation, I thought I/you (down below) might throw some ideas together as to the reasons. I’ll use some of my own experiences and those of people in the public spotlight to whip up some ideas.

-He was regarded as little other than a tool to accrue wealth for the whole gang. (MacCauley Caulkin)

-His porn star parents were extraordinarily disruptive on-set during his nascent film career. (Thora Birch)

-When he was kidnapped his family refused to pay the full amount of the ransom and he lost a part of his ear as a result. (J.P. Getty III)

-Now that he’s successful, his family thinks of him as a real, live ATM. (Dana Carvey)

-Father introduced him to coke and incest. (Mackenzie Phillips)

-Father accused him of having ‘mental issues’. (Angelina Jolie)

-Mother took him to court to get her monthly allowance raised from $7,500 to $10,000. (Leighton Meester)

-His mother’s spaghetti wasn’t really that good. (Eminem)

-His father tended to be very preachy. (Madonna)

-His parents were, in his words, “Tearing him apart!” (James Dean)

-His dad would walk through the house at all hours yelling “STELLA!” (Christian Brando)

I’m sure y’all can think of more. TO THE GAME!

Pack/Pats:

Edelman is in and Gronk and rb Michel might be out. They’re thought to be game-timers. Green Bay has been creative at getting pressure and that has resulted in 3.3 sacks per game to date. Clinton-Dix is gone so there may be some shuffling in the secondary. If you know what’s good for you, turn the damn audio off.

You’ve got something in your teeth.

 

 

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Moose -The End Is Well Nighyeah rightMr. AyoballsofsteelandfuryCol. Duke LaCross Recent comment authors
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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OK, NEED TO RELAX.

yeah right

Now that’s a football Sunday!

ballsofsteelandfury

Last?

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Drink? There’s many more hours in this day.

yeah right

When fully pushed for fandom in a crucible it all comes out in the wash.

I hate the Packers more than the Patriots.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Win-win/lose-lose

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

GTF outa town; not even close. Cowboys, Steelers, and Seahawks of late are worse than Packers, the P*ts fans will never be caught for being the absolute worst as a group.

NO ONE DENIES THIS!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

All right, good night folks. Sorry we didn’t get to see Tom Brady’s career end tonight, but there’s always next week.

Horatio Cornblower

Playing poker with someone named “ropedtight69”

I should definitely DM them, right?

Old School Zero

Send them a dick* pic to start things off.

*Cheney

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Welp, time for cake.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

No on Prop C! Screw the homeless. Get a job, hippies!

Horatio Cornblower

Really, Cris? It’s hard to get into a debate in the Boston area about who the greatest QB of all time is? Really?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Everyone knows it was Steve Grogan.

Downfield Matriculator
Downfield Matriculator

Tony Eason!

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Jim Plunkett.

Horatio Cornblower

I had his jersey for some reason when I was young, so he gets my vote.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

He was the Patriots’ Most Valuable Quarterback in Super Bowl XX!

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Grogan owns a sports equipment supply company in my hometown (Mansfield just east of Foxboro); they supply bulk equipment for high schools etc. My cousin is his attorney; even though she is a diehard Pats fan, she tells me he’s a bit of a douche.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Tough motherfucker, though. I just looked at his wikipedia page and the list of injuries he endured makes Steve McNair look like Julius Thomas.

Col. Duke LaCross

Well, except for that one injury.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

BOOM! Errr…..rim shot….. errr….

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Horatio Cornblower

It’s nice enough of Cris to lobby for Josh McDaniels to get another head coaching job, but after his decision to take Tim Tebow in the 1st round and then fuck over Indy I suspect it’ll be a long time before that happens.

Although I’d love to be wrong, because watching him try to coach without the Belicheck/Brady safety net would be hilarious.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Fuck, Cris, would you just please stop. It’s fucking embarrassing.

Senor Weaselo

If he had any less shame he’d be working at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.

Doktor Zymm

One of the reasons I fucking hate the Pats. They were they first team (and the only team over the course of the season) to take Sean Taylor’s number off their helmets after his death. Fuck them.

WCS

No, Cris, I don’t.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s like hearing someone praise George W Bush for “overcoming adversity” in his life as he went from an exclusive private school to admission as a legacy to an Ivy League institution to having numerous business and political opportunities fall into his lap as a result of his father’s vast web of connections.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Yeah but Dubya did all that while he was drunk and coked out of his mind, so you have to give him some credit for that.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Don’t forget the cushie rich boy’s slot in the TX Air Guard so no Viet Nam.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Wakezilla

That was some horrendous playcalling right there.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You’re referring to Mike McCarthy’s entire career, I take it?

Old School Zero

Better that than Mike McCoy…

Horatio Cornblower

He really is just pure garbage.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

“Eh it wasn’t that bad.”
–Hue Jackson

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This is my fault. When it was tied I started fantasizing about the #1 seed Chiefs hosting the #4 seed Patriots team in the divisional round, and the universe heard me.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Well, that oughtta do it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Fuck.

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