Your “Double-Check Your Listings, There’s Only One Game On” Sunday Afternoon NFL Football Open Thread

Fine, there are two other games on the 4pm slate but I maintain they are more theoretical than actual. Sure, I guess ‘players’ will be ‘playing’ and acquiring ‘stats’ that can be used by ‘agents’ to negotiate ‘contracts’ and ‘endorsements’. And yes, the ‘money’ paid to those individuals will be used to acquire ‘cars’ and ‘houses’ that will surely impress ‘females’. Those females will likely get injected with ‘goo’ and go on to form ‘small meat bags’ in their lower ‘torsos’. But you tell me, how do I get my ‘share’?

TO THE GAMES!

Texans/Broncs:

The very recent wide receiver past (D. Thomas) doesn’t really collide with the present wide receiver future (Courtland Sutton) when these two squadoos strap on their game corsets. But something will be made of this to a very sparse viewing audience. Both qb’s will be looking at significant pressure being applied and if Keenum has a wee bit of time he should have success against the intramural-level corners the Texans employ. Denver’s 2nd best running attack is going against Houston’s #1 rated ground D so is this a low-scoring one-score tussle?

Chargers/Seahawks:

The original Legion of Boom has gone by the wayside personnel-wise but the same habit of turning the ball over 2+ times per game remains-a vital stat contributing to Seattle winning four of their last five. No slouches themselves, L.A. has won 4 straight and only lost to the Chiefs and Rams.

Rams/Saints:

This is your legit NFC Champeenship game and each side is pretty much 100% healthy-each missing only one starter on D. After a gorgeous start Goff has cooled off and averaged a mere 232 yards passing the last three games. There’s not enough Cooks in the Rams O as far as my fantasy team is concerned. In You Win Some, You Taysom News: Them Rammers best not get themselves in 3rd and short spots on the regular or it all might come crashing down. Here’s a stat that blew what’s left of my noggin-wr Thomas has 58 catches on 64 (64!!!) targets. That’s nuts.

Let’s dream a little dream. Not a big one-those get out of hand.