Your “Pour Me Some Of That Giggle Juice, Dollface” Thursday Night Football Open Thread

There’s a ton of NFL news today if you look for it…

Dez Bryant:

The newest employee of the New Orleans Saints hasn’t, to anyone’s knowledge, burned any bridges with a single one of his teammates as of 6pm EST!

Darren Sproles:

He aggravated his teeny, weeny hamstring today.

There you have it. TO THE GAME!

Panthers/Steelers:

Them Pittsburghians. Are they spent after the Crashing Helmets Bowl that took place just 3 1/2 days ago against arch-enemy Baltimore? Perhaps, but in Math Is A Thing News they happen to be 7-1 at home on Thursday nights. (the lone loss was a field goal in OT) By doing their very best Giants imitation, the Steelers D has a plump-ton of trouble dealing with opposing te’s. This is where Greg Olsen and his ‘3 TD’s in three games since returning from injury’ narrative rears its head. Guess who I’ve got on my fantasy team? Guess who doesn’t have to play him because he bid the hell out of Travis Kelce back in early September? Yeah, I think you know. This sure does feel like a game that will end up in the 30’s so I thought I might hit you with some factoids from that time.

Herbert Hoover was an inveterate gambler and bullied his fellow poker-playing buds by yelling out, “I Want A New Deal!” whenever he was given a poor hand.

Manchuria, a disease caused by a poor understanding of what mosquitoes actually do, swept the southern United States in early 1935.

According to several glasses of Guinness, the greatest number of people victimized by a ‘crop-dusting’ was performed by Amelia Airfart during the 1932 Des Moines Air Show.

Neville Chamberlain and his aide both wanted to read a certain American weekly on the flight back from Germany back in ’38. There was a kerfuffle, pages were torn. The end result was Mr. Chamberlain announcing proudly on the tarmac the often misquoted phrase, “This Is A Piece Of Our Time!”

Enough of this crap. It’s your turn now. I’ve got to take a power.

 

 

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Mr. Ayoyeah rightMoose -The End Is Well NighWakezillaDownfield Matriculator Recent comment authors
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

FYI, this SEA-POR footy match is bananacakes.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Penalty Kicks!

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Spoiler
You guys missed a wild game.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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yeah right

Hey everybody!

Sorry I ain’t been local lately but work’s been fierce.

Gotta love those government defense dollars.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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yeah right

I’m calling bullshit.

Turn the hatband and the waistcoat green and it’s a sexy leprechaun.

I’ve never worked in a factory with a leprechaun as an owner!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brocky

Yo Seamus, you still around?

I found a gif. It’s not alexa, but it is her idol:
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

This seems….. somehow….. familiar…….

Brocky

I posted it last night, but I’m looking out for everyone’s favorite manchild who is also a blonde enthusiast.

Shit did I just describe 90% of this site?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury

Yes, yes you did! 😂🤣😂

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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yeah right

/raises hand

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Meat Fondle Thursday always brings the ladies to the yard.

Downfield Matriculator
Downfield Matriculator
Gratliff

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brocky

That just reminds me of the vine were the robbers break into a house, see how poor the guy is, and feel so bad for em that they take him to the next burglary

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mrs. Leitmotif was everybody’s favorite substitute teacher.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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The Mallomar Brothers seemed to win the junior varsity manspreading trophy nearly every year.

Brocky

This game reminds me of an idea I had:

I refer to games like these as “quicksand games” and I wish they were talked about more in those terms.

The features if said “quicksand games” being such were so many things go wrong for one team so quickly, it makes the game more lopsided than the actual difference between the teams may seem.

Thoughts?

Gratliff

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

True; it used be the term “Snowballing games” then they stopped using that term after Thomas “Hollywood” Henderson’s career was over.

Downfield Matriculator
Downfield Matriculator

You could just call them Browns games

Brocky

Nah see, the browns are actually terrible, and they should lose lopsided games.

Think super bowl 43 in January of 14. Seattle with the top defense going against Denver’s top offense. Should be a good game right?

Nope. Denver fucks up the opening snap, Seattle scores on its first 3 drives, game gets ugly fast

Downfield Matriculator
Downfield Matriculator

Quicksand it is!

`

Wakezilla

You just described a snowball game.

blaxabbath

Meghan McCain is going to run for Senate.

She’s our new age Chris Christy.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Those don’t seem like official military uniforms.

Downfield Matriculator
Downfield Matriculator

Has anyone ever seen Trent Green and Troy Aikman in the same place at the same time? Joe Buck might as well be in the booth with a potted fern

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass

Much Ice Cowboys Iceball action. Feel the excite.

theeWeeBabySeamus

@Hippo…can you imagine what Will Grier would have done to us if that game had gotten played?
Oh well, at least we always have basketball.

/remembers

GODDAMMIT!!!!!!!

Gratliff

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Gratliff

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

CAM NEWTON TOWEL HEAD POUT

Beerguyrob

All we need now is the big hat.

Downfield Matriculator
Downfield Matriculator

So just got home from work and flipped on the game — what the holy hell? Did the Stillers break Cam?

Beerguyrob

Did anyone start McCaffrey in fantasy?

King Hippo

Just glad the cracker-ass motherfucker ain’t against me in either league. But I’m ded in money league anyway (Juju, Yinzer D/ST and K against my sad TE Olson)

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well…. he IS a handsome young man.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Gratliff

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Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass

GO FOR TWO, PUSSY!!!1!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

Nothing but dril tweets from this point forwardcomment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Dropped from rankings: NC State (14)

theeWeeBabySeamus

We shouldn’t have been in there to begin with.
We’ve feasted on weaklings.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Sorry whiny little Wake dick.
You did not catch that ball.

King Hippo

you can see it bounce!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yup.
Didn’t matter though.

Holy shit.

King Hippo

Bad team is bad.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yup.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Told ya, pussy.
And we now also know the guys in the booth are stupid too.

Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass

Panthers need a safety or TD with 2-pointer to give us a Scorigami. HAIL SHIT GOD WHO’S NAME I FORGOT!
/almost Bourbl’d

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey look, Dave Doeren finally grew some balls.
Even if it didn’t work, I like the call.

theeWeeBabySeamus

But we need get of prevent.
It is not our forte.

King Hippo

means they might play for 3 and miss, too. If they needed 7, they’d surely get it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

DON’T-AH FORGET-AH TO-AH WASH YOUR-AH FORESKIN!

Gratliff

A dril tweet for all occasions comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

Why stop at his face? Just blur him out entirely.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

We can’t get everything; we need to prioritize.