If you feel like chatting about the Chelsea/Everton tilt whilst we wait for the good stuff, go on ahead. There’s also a Rugby World Cup qualifying match taking place between Canada and Kenya that’s being played in Marseille, France. I don’t have a clue whether it’s live, a replay from five days ago or a vision from the near future! All I know is that I could really go for a big bowl of roasted cauliflower ears right now…
TO THE GAMES!
Lions/Bears:
I kinda want the Lions to eke this one out just so that the NFC North maintains its morass status. A stat that breaths life into this prospect? Them Detroiters are 9-1 vs. Chicago the last five times they’ve played. (I’ll get the hang of this ‘math’ someday, you just watch!) Also the Bears 5-3 includes wins over a head-in-ass Seahawks team early in the season as well as the Bills, Bucs, Jets and Cards. Woof!
Saints/Bengals:
I don’t think you could get a higher score in this game if you tossed 3 or 4 footballs out onto the field and announced, “We’re playing flag football today, gents!” Sure, the Bengalis are down AJ Green but a certain Tyler Boyd has a nose for the six pointer and the Saints D doesn’t play well with barely competent qb’s.
Falcons/Browns:
ATL grabbed Bruce Irvin so that their miserable record of pressuring qb’s could be slightly altered. Barring some wacked-out weather the Falcons should put up a number of points on a Browns D that long ago gave up that whole “stopping other teams” bullshit.
Pats/Titans:
Michel? In. Gronk? Out. It won’t matter much one way or another because Bad Bill Bellichick has a tendency to take former coaches out behind the henhouse and give them a sound beating. HE KNOWS ALL YOUR STUPID TENDENCIES, YOU PUTZ! Mike Vrabel is the next man up.
Jags/Colts:
Little Red Fournette is finally back! The chants of “Anyone But Bortles!” grow louder and louder. Helping to exacerbate his demise, the top thinkers have installed Wrecked Flowers as a starter on the O-line. Jacktown’s D is just fine, rated #2 in total defence and #8 in points allowed. It’s just that they’re on for far too long and have been put in short-field spots on the reg due to Bortlemajik.
Cards/Chiefs:
One day football fan parents, completely fed-up with their child’s behavior will yell, “I will beat you harder than Kansas City beat Arizona on Remembrance Day in 2018!”
Bills/Jets:
The starting qb’s in the “So It’s Come To This Bowl” are Matt Barkley and Josh McCown.
Potato Skins/Bucs:
The Bucs can get to within one game of the treasured .500 mark by ambushing the severely beaten up Skins. [begins singing ‘Fair Harvard’]
Don’t forget to take off your raspberry beret at 11:11.
Hmmmmm….I’m always one to buck conventional wisdom but even ill admit starting the Cardinals D may have been a poor move this week.
FFS, life. This week been shite enough without losing to SEAMUS in DFO-ball
My bye week post would have been better at defending the Chiefs than this Cardinals team.
Marvin blows an early Challenge. And Sunday Afternoon it is!
Tyreekdown!
Fucking Chiefs took all of 54 seconds…
Lookit Mariota!! #MagicBurgerKingFTW
C’mon, Harvard. Don’t fuck this up. *Narrator starts tuning up the band*
$500 says Capt Depth Perception gets Trump to do exactly zero things for any veterans.
No bet. Trump wouldn’t do anything for anybody.
At least we have a breathe of civility for once.
Anybody know how to see the CFL playoffs? ESPNEWS is supposed to have it, but I can’t find it.
ESPN+ generally carries CFL
They’re only listing Nov 18 games. I have the streaming app. Yet their website says they have it.
I’m watching it on ESPNNews
I get all of these . . . OK thanks Balls that’s a start. It’s out there somewhere.
I can’t believe that CBS is making me watch AZ-KC. Hopefully it’ll be 42-0 at the end of the 1st and they’ll switch over to something else.
That’s closer than i would expect.
Why aren’t these troops all talking to each other and playing grabass during the National Anthem like PATRIOTIC FANS!
PICK ONE:
•Anthony Miller vs DET
•Davante Parker @ GB
•David Moore @ LAR
PICK ONE:
•Josh Adams vs DAL
•Elijah McGuire vs BUF
Please and thank you.
I’ll hang up and listen.
Parker, Elijah
That’s what I had. Thanks!
Lady (or ladies) and gentlemen, I am on the ground at soldier field. Let’s go bears!
Tell Mack I said he looks fat on TV.
/sorry about whatever happens after that.
Counts as attending a ceremony!
I’m currently drying poblano/ancho peppers in the convection oven; The house smells FANTASTIC.
clear fookin’ sinuses, I bet!
Yep, had a little extra room on the tray so I experimentally added some serrano and ghosts. Earlier I opened the oven door and the fan blew vapors in my face and the back of my throat is still feeling the effects.
Manure down 2
CFL PLAYOFFS WOOOOOO!!!!!
No longer have to follow EIGHT teams!
Soon there will be 10!
better, because EVERYONE gets a chance to participate!
Not that my being a giant asshole is any surprise, but I am REALLY TIRED of all these goddamned amber alerts interrupting sportsball and making unpleasant sounds on my cell.
Just turn them off. When the Secretary of Homeland Security is running point to rip children from their parents in order to sell them into human slavery, I don’t see the practical value of the Amber Alert system.
Might as well send me a text that RTD used his chiminea last night so the air in LA is shit.
can’t turn the cable ones off, need to figure out the cell pat though
Seeing the NFL on Fox guys line up against uniformed troops is all the proof I need to know why the GOP fears football players could overrun this nation like some kind of domestic negro caravan. Howie and Strahan are monsters.
Domestic Negro Caravan = great FF name for 2019!
All hockey game streams are free today, apparently. So if you want to watch a REAL MANS SPROT you can tune in to… the scintillating matchup of… let’s see… Florida-Ottawa?
Snottawa won last night. You behave.
Only the Bengals can come out of a Bye Week hurting more than they didn’t going into it.
Dan Quinn almost joined the military after 9/11? Well yeah he’s the man to celebrate on this most holy Almost-Veterans Day.
SO BRAVE u guys!!11
“To the Beer Store and beyond! What’s that? No honey, I won’t forget your fucking smokes.”
-Buzz Lightyear, after reality has sunk in
Wow. Bengals are going with their undefeated Orange Jersey/Blank Pants combo. There goes that streak.
The Masked Singer will not be renewed.
Damn, I really enjoyed the first season of Deaf Zorro.
Oh, wait, Masked Singer. Never mind.
Wanted to settle in and watch a bad Xmas movie but Crown for Christmas gave away the entire plot in the gottdamn title. smgdh
You Canadians and your Canadian Whiskey…
The bottle I owe Don T made it across the border! He will have some Crown next week.
The postal clerk did not believe PR was in the USA.
yeah, like we really would have shared our paper towel bounty with a bunch of non-Murrikans I mean obvs!!
Hoping against hope My Wayward Son snaps off a couple of big runs & somehow falls into the end zone vs the Chicagos today.
At the very least there’ll be peace when he’s done. And then he can rest his weary head. And he won’t have to cry no more. [GUITARS]
Here’s today’s insane 3 game parlay:
P*ts to cover 6.5
Chargers to cover 10
Bills Jets over 36.5
I’m not a lunatic I just play one on TV.
Chargers bet doesn’t sound like lunacy at all.
It’s the Bills Jets over that I’m concerned about. The other two feel correct.
Sorry for your loss.
Agreed. That’s the bet that concerns me.
It just might be crazy enough to work!
/it will not work
I like it! Especially the over in the Empire State Derby. McCown + Barkley + a whole lotta “Fuck it! Bombs away!” Bummer Robby Anderson is out though. Good luck, sir!!!
That may be the lowest over/ under I’ve ever seen for an NFL game.
Hope you get a defensive score or 2.
Hai commntists! I drank in moderation last night yet still feel like garbage. Lesson learned. If you drink, might as well go for it.
Need to go with pricey booze.
Was Guinness so I shouldn’t have this headache.
I feel like garbage because the sky is filled with the remnants of my state burning to the ground.
Is it a weird season for this normally? We burn to the ground in the summer and fall but not in the winter.
Actually no, this is the normal time of year. Everything is at its driest right now.
Yep. October November just like clockwork.
MUST GET SMART
This is one of my favorite Simpsons bits.
/has a lot of favorite Simpsons bits.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nwuiSuX2h8o
2-7 in one money league and 7-2 in the other. My stupidity/genius knows no bounds, apparently.
This sounds like the plot of a film about a guy who has multiple personality disorder and has been playing against himself in fantasy football every week.
Sill vs Sill IMAX Edition?
?fit=1920%2C1080&ssl=1
I need to go with upside here, should I put Beatie Mixon back in (despite NO’s great run defense) ahead of JEWKAH in PPR? Because of the upside thing, I am locked into playing MVS (deep threat, not facing Xavien Howard) and Kupp (Goff synergy as my starting QB).
Mixon
Stick with Punchy.
Speaking of Punch, this is a fun theory:
https://www.polygon.com/2015/3/13/8210453/this-is-the-man-who-keyed-vincent-vegas-car-in-pulp-fiction
That makes complete sense.
Tarantino confirms it. I wish they shot a deliberate outtake of Butch opening up the bathroom door and Vincent saying “hey, you’re the asshole who keyed my car!”
Mancs doing Remembrance Day right
This article says that Bell will be a free agent next year regardless if he plays this year or not? I thought that was the whole fucking point of him holding out?
https://sports.yahoo.com/report-steelers-running-back-leveon-bell-unlikely-report-team-011352422.html
perhaps the Yinzers and Le’Veon came to agreement to not tag him if he ain’t report. They probably didn’t WANT him to report anymore (as dumb as that seems to me).
I think its because it would cost $25M to tag him again (QB-tier).
oh FFS, that’s no free kick
Current count of Morata’s a cunt references on NSNO? Approximately eleventy billion
It’s not an incorrect take.
When I am elected dictator for lyfe I will split society up into two factions a la The Time Machine based on foot size: the filthy, lower class narrow footers, and the wealthy, intelligent, good looking wide footers. All cobblers caught making narrow shoes will be drawn and quartered.
10.5-11W represent!!
also, this is why I tend to save my Amazon orders and re-up the EXACT same pair of shoes once mine wear out. Getting the right fit (I also have high arches) is a real pain in the bollocks.
Tell me about it.
12 4E
#GirthHumbleBrag 😀
12.
Don’t tell Roy Moore how much that makes the 8th grade girls blush.
Andy Reid heard about your anti-cobbler rhetoric and immediately joined The Resistance.
The Walrus as I call him is a formidable opponent, the timing of his movements is so erratic I’ve never been able to catch him.
“Finally, a politician that will give the people some sensible legislation.”
Solar dog is a liar.
https://twitter.com/EyeonOhio/status/1060946841200746496
Jayson is not a name.
FALSE ADVERTISING!
come on, DCL or Lookman score us a winner
ugggggg this chelsea v everton match is turning into a draw……
I just love how you can tell when Trump is reading from a script. He sounds like a 2nd Grader reading a book report.
“World War I was a very bad thing. It cost several lives and changed the world…” (turns page) “…forever.”
Abraham Lincoln was a very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very good President. But go dig up his grave because he freed the slaves.
if only they had a STRONG LEADER like me or my pal Vlad
you can’t even see his teeny erection, but one knows it’s there
Of course you can’t see it. Its concave. Everyone know that.
“Maybe if more of the French and British soldiers had guns, there would have been a different outcome.”
So LeVeon Bell isn’t showing up by the deadline? I’m confused. Why does Bell hate the Steelers again?
He’s the average NFL fan?
I’m just puzzled why he would leave South Beach, return to Pittsburgh and still not report. As someone who is from Pittsburgh and has seen the…talent, in South Beach I simply cannot wrap my head around this one.
Contract talk fell apart? Bell seems pretty thin skinned (when it comes to taking these negotiations personally; not as a general descriptor) and I could easily see a, “The fuck? We were supposed to meet at 8:00 and it’s 9:30 and you’re still making me wait. Fuck it. I’ll just call it a season then.”
Agreed. How hard is it to sign the tender, show up and the first play go “Ow! My oblique muscle!”?
Tear his Achilles at the first practice?
shit. dude was offsides.
The sunrise looked like an apocalypse today.
I am girding my loins for a day of my wife insisting that we should go outside into this polluted mess of a day and “do stuff”.
tell her to “go outside”! and you stay inside and eat snacks and watch football… cause thats the responsible and “safe” thing to do.
I would watch Kellyanne Conway being skinned alive. Hell, i’d hold her down myself.
I hope to see her & SHS on the gallows together.
Hanging is too good for them. Just wrap them (alive) in chicken wire and throw them into a hog waste pond. The NC version of the concrete overshoes.
Ooooh — I like the idea of having traitors executed using state-honoring methods. we can even reissue the state quarters with each state’s execution on the back. North Carolina – Kellyanne in chicken wire at the hog farm. California – tied to a burning tree. Ohio – Death by chili. Florida – Having to live in Florida.
For the Koch brothers, stuck in a room breathing the gasses from a coal burning power plant with coal ash infused water for drinking.
[pulls off eyelids with a pair of pliers]
“HA HA ISN’T IT FUNNY KELLY? ISN’T IT FUCKING FUNNY NOW? HA HA HA HA ISN’T THIS STILL A GREAT BIG WONDERFUL FUCKING JOKE TO YOU???”
– Fitzpatrick Bateman
I know that she’s been irrelevant for a few years now, but can we toss Ann Coulter into the group of people that need to die a miserable death?
Deboned alive.
(overhears everyone in all-Republicans-must-die-painfully-and-slowly mode)
(takes off all red colored clothing)
(puts on blue and buff colored clothing)
“Hey guys! What’s up?”
All good Redshirt! Now, if you could just take a couple steps to the left and sign this suicide note please….
Under the Grand Piano hanging by a rope or on the red X?
…Yes.
Mad dog. still 0-0 in the chelsea match.
I used to work in a pizza joint with a tv in the back room, where we’d all congregate and drink beer after work. One Monday night, I was back there watching the end of the game, hoping the Dolphins would cover vs the Pats (they won outright!) as one-by-one, everyone headed home or to the bar, untill all that was left was me & this guy who we called Newman. Newman is gay, but hilariously shatters every gay stereotype. Looks like a big fat pile of dirty laundry. Great guy. Anyway, during the commercials, I asked him if he was still there because he liked either team, and he nodded at a helmetless Mike Vrabel on the NE sideline and said, “I’m just watching because that’s the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen!”
And here he thought the only Tits he’d ever like would be Liza Minelli’s!!
hahaha
very physical match, letting things go to build a false sense of security, no question they’ll red card Gana ahead of the Merseyside Derby
Everyone getting bloody cranky out on the pitch!
Ugh – damn daylight savings. Now I’m waiting an extra hour for FOOTBALL.
I am up too early!!!!!
hey, you gots Chelsea/Everton, and the Blues ain’t even tripped over they own dicks yet!!
After watching soccer on mute for a few weekends, I can safely conclude that socceredball players are the stupidest of all athletes.
Canada beat Nigeria by a whole bunch, btw.
there’s a Jefferson Beauregard S., Lickspittle, AL quote/joke in there somewhere, I just can’t get the offensive phrasing exactly right
SNL was good last night.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFyHCdE_2Ag
This is very beautiful stuff indeed: One day football fan parents, completely fed-up with their child’s behavior will yell, “I will beat you harder than Kansas City beat Arizona on Remembrance Day in 2018!”
COYB!!!
And remember, ARI had a bye to prepare for this.
lots of stretching and lubing?
Presumably the players and coaches used it to say “bye” to their family and loved ones.