Your “This Is No Way To Start The Week” Monday Night Football Open Thread

Week 10 Fallout:

-Cooper Kupp had the biggest fall. The end result was a tear of his AFL-CIO. Can’t help thinking someone will fill the void.

-The Saints kicked the tires on Brandon Marshall and figured that he’s a fine-looking rental.

-You don’t have Bengals DC Teryl Austin to kick around anymore. Who? Anyhoo, he’s done and gone.

-A 7 year-old wrote a letter to Jerrah that left scorch marks. The kid is now head of scouting for the Cowboys.

-Mark Davis said that he was completely responsible for the Raiders record. The jury is still out on who to blame for his haircut. All the votes have yet to be counted but “Bowl” is leading.

TO THE GAME!

Jizziants/Nerders:

I threw a certain Nick Mullens (all of them!) under the bus last week before his debut. Much like a number of folks on this very site, “I WAS JUST PLAYING THE ODDS!” and betting that a fella not long off the practice squad would struggle in his first start. Mullens replied with, “Wrongo, assholio!” and tossed the ball at a 72% completion rate for two scores and had not a single turnover. Now that wr Pierre Garcon has been ruled out the coaching staff has detected some sort of pattern and has activated another guy off the practice squad. This is wr Kendrick Bourne’s first ever NFL game. Asked for comment, Niners owner Jed York said, “I just hope that Kendrick Lamar’s second cousin can contribute tonight.”

Say what you will.

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Mr. Ayo

Shit, even if SF scores, they won’t cover the 3.5. GAMBLOR wins again.

King Hippo

homefield clock running

Don T

That was a loooong second.

Don T

These QB roughing penalties won’t get called during the playoffs… Like with PI, right?

King Hippo

84 lined up offsides on the spike

King Hippo

terrible QB brain cavity

Sharkbait

Looking like Eli vs. Fitzmagic next week.

King Hippo

full national game, we all hope!

King Hippo

terrible roughing call

King Hippo

J Peterman got cut today

blaxabbath

“And all Bills signees with experience serious concussions until the Rightful has returned to his deserved starting position.”

– God (Friending Me)

Petronel

Oh goddammit

King Hippo

Shepard with ONE CHEEK = TWO FEET

Mr. Ayo

Losing to the Jizziantes is an exceptional low.

blaxabbath

HOF Eli BACK?!

Mr. Ayo

I mean, 2 superb owls. Have to do it.

King Hippo

I don’t see a draw in the cards….so I’d really prefer not-OT

Sharkbait

Boo. Want a tie!

blaxabbath

“Last Monday, 20.4 MILLION viewers tuned in for 4.5 hours of football in lieu of sleeping the first night of their week. They were treated to a win — for no one.

So set your dial for Next Weeks Matchuo between the Cleveland Browns and either the New York Jets or the Bills (we’ll know by Saturday night so you’ll be able to set your fantasy lineups.)!

yeah right

Goddamn it smells like the state is on fire again tonight.

We really need a marine layer to calm this shit down.

King Hippo

insanely bad PI call

Mr. Ayo

Terrible bailout call.

Senor Weaselo

Hail Bleergh!

Sharkbait

BLEERGH demands a two minute drill sacrifice.

Fronkenshteen

Went to a Dead show once. Oakland coliseum. December 1990. Monday night. MNFthat night was NYG/SF Both undefeated at that point. Set break was quite long, and there were HUNDREDS of Watchman TVs in the stands. The SECOND the 49ers kicked the game winning FG, the lights finally went out. And to erase any doubt, Bob Weir actually said ” How bout those niners!” before they started playing.

blaxabbath

That is an entertaining experience.

Fronkenshteen

I really miss Garcia.

Mr. Ayo

Oof. Darkest timeline indeed.

blaxabbath

I don’t care much for punk music generally but I do enjoy the genre that is punk bands covering popular songs.

King Hippo

Saquon on a LB, who wouldn’t hold?

blaxabbath

Any LB with this matchup will be so handsy that only Gym Jordan would be able to argue their defense.

Sharkbait

Red Dead Redemption 2 is fucking amazing.

Wakezilla

For those who watch Raw: Tonight, Becky Lynch officially became Stone Cold Steve Austin.

Senor Weaselo

Did she shotgun a beer or twelve?

Wakezilla

Not to spoil too much, but blood and chair shots were involved. Seriously, check it out

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Fronkenshteen

Ooo tight end. Eli like.

King Hippo

he remembered Engram is alive!

Sharkbait

Nods

–Aaron Rodgers

King Hippo

I’m just here waiting for the ManningFACE. That we all know is coming.

Sharkbait

I’m having Manningface withdrawals

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Fronkenshteen

Obj’s hair looks like my dog fucked a grape snow cone.

ballsofsteelandfury

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ballsofsteelandfury

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Fronkenshteen

Eli is done. Rarely will you see a single play that determines beyond a shadow of a doubt that a player should be replaced. Immediately. Before another play is run. Eli underthrowing a wide open OBJ in a 4th Q 20-20 tie game should SHOULD end his career. Let’s see how many JETERBUX he’s earned.

blaxabbath

Big if true

Sharkbait

Mrs Sharkbait: “Go fuck yourself booger.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury

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Sharkbait

The Linda Cher-iff costume was gold. All of the Halloween costumes in that show are winners.

hippofant

Giants having a lot more successful now that they’ve moved Beckham to the left side, away from Sherman. 49ers really need a better corner to match up with Sherman and a solid safety to hold the fort in their cover-3.

Still not entirely sure why they let go of Eric Reid.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury

God, I love Teddy from Bob’s Burgers!

Sharkbait

He might be my favorite character besides Bob.

ballsofsteelandfury

My ranking:
Teddy
Zeke
Louise
Bob
Gene
Jairo
Mr. Fishoeder

King Hippo

Louise is always #1, followed by Andy and Ollie

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Sharkbait

Seriously though, how was he allowed back on so fast?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
hippofant

Why are the Giants allowed to murder Marquise Goodwin?

yeah right

Gamblor tip for anyone interested.
The NBA has been hitting the over at a historic level. The Vegas lines have adjusted to offset.

I’m a Bulls fan.

Still. And they do suck.

And they’ve been getting stupid high over/ unders. If the Bulls are playing another Eastern conference team and the line is over 210? Take the under.

Bang that motherfucker.

Three wins in a row doing this.

Truth!

yeah right

Actually tonight they lost to Dallas, from the west and they still hit the under.

/ counts virtual cash

Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water

Maybe letting the guy who had his bell rung stay in the game was a bad idea

King Hippo

Goodwin having a really shitty day.

Mr. Ayo

Goodwin thinks he’s playing volleyball.

Well, he was thinking that. Now he’s not doing much of that.

King Hippo

Huzzah, that’s a -3!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Just looking around and a new fantasy just pops up.

King Hippo

The Women’s World Cup was pretty awesome, from many perspectives

JustStopDude

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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hippofant

Is it just me, or is this crew blowing the whistle a LOT?

herodotus450

Is it just me, or is this crew blowing

Not even watching and I’m gonna say yes.

Sharkbait

Me “Is it too early to root for a tie?”

Mrs. Sharkbait: ಠ_ಠ

King Hippo

Booger right, Witten wrong (yet again)

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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JustStopDude

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The Maestro

I have so many questions, but I don’t think I want any answers.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You know when you raise your glasses up on your forehead then can’t remember where they are? Well, this is the extreme version of that.

JustStopDude

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Don T

Best baby shower gift eva

Mr. Ayo

Hindsight is 20/20…. with these glasses!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Sharkbait

He got straight up murdered. Oakland is that way buddy.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

you got knocked tha FUCK out!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

no charging circle, bitch!

Sharkbait

Is that what that half circle in basketball is???

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I thought it was a sack-jam.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

I thought it meant it’s not a charge inside the circle?

King Hippo

right, I just phrased poorly. He was teaching a valuable basketball/life lesson!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

According to my social medias something happened to Caris LeVert. Someone check on Ian.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Sharkbait

This game…good?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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