Let the jockeying FOAR playoff/exhibition positioning begin!
Texas v. Oklahoma (-7.5) @ House That Jerral Built (Noon, ABC)
I never get anything I want (in this case, the lesser steer-fucky of these two sides in the playoffs), so I am betting Texas. That’s too many points in any event, even if Boomer Sooner will play for style points if they can.
Marshall at Virginia Tech (-3.5) (Noon, ACCN)
Castrated Turkeys had a wild escape at home v. Wahoowa, now watch the chucklefucks lose at home to Marshall (barring a plane crash, obvs) to fuck up their bowl streak.
Stanford (-3.5) at Cal (3:00, PAC-12)
Re-posting the cute Berkeley picture, just to see if that makes the fires come back.
Memphis at UCF (-3) (3:30, ABC)
Hitler Mice have one last hurdle before their they can only beat the teams on they schedule!! pablum starts in heavy ESPN rotation. Personally, I’d rather see Bama beat Okies 63-49 than UCF 63-7. YMMV.
Alabama (-12.5) v. Georgia @ House That Jerral Built (4:00, CBS)
NOPE, not gonna take the bait and #HAILGAMBLOR on this’un. In case you miss it the first 20 times the CBS crew mentions same, this is a re-run of last season’s Bananacakes National Final.
Fresno State at Boise State (-1) (7:45, ESPN)
TRUE BUT BORING STORY – my assistant is quitting in 3 weeks in order to move back to Idaho. Just in time for winter. I have no read on this game. Winner gets a meh bowl bid, loser…gets a meh bowl bid.
Clemson (-27.5) v. Pitt @ Mistuh Richardon’s Former Plantation (8:00, ABC)
No, that spread is no misprint, nor is it likely to be covered. Pitt lost to U*NC in the regular season, the Holes’ only conference win. Sort of the ACC’s Northwestern.
Ohio State (-15.5) v. Northwestern @ The Gravy Boat (8:00, Fox)
Seriously, the Mildcats were 0-3 outside of the B1G. Playing FOAR a title. No, there is nothing tOSU can do to deserve the right to get shit-holed by Alabama (without a Boomer Sooner loss).
SAFETY!!
WOMP WOMP
Little safety dance? YA!
Since Murray is a confirmed QUITTER for leaving football after this for baseball, he should be summarily disqualified from bowl games and heisman voting.
WOMP WOMP
/on both sides
So there is only 3 Taco Bells left in our city. My colon thinks it is ok!
just throw it up for grabs, JV BLEERGH has come out every single time
Well that was interesting. I wonder if Doink is intending to hang around Texas Stadium all day.
Come on Bush family, announce that Donald is not welcome at the funeral already. You know that you want to.
At least sit Melania beside Barack!
I would have all former Presidents speak and then go “And now, the moment we’ve all been waiting for. The President of the United States of America.” (Donald stands up) “…’s wife, Melania Trump would like to say a few words.”
Random Saturday observation: Guys that laugh off hitting kids with “My old man whipped me with a belt and I turned out just fine!” didn’t really turn out fine. They’re almost always assholes.
Guys that give up that sorta info are crying for help. They might not know that they are though.
Crying for help? I’ll give them something to cry about.
Texas vs. Oklahoma: Who Wants it Least?!
Texas/Okie is entertaining.
When blaxito gets into school, it’s safe to assume that any kid in his class named Donald obviously has klansmen parents, right? Seems like it should be the new Adolf.
Donald Duck’s reaction to that realization.
Yeah, I’d think even big fans would play it safe with like “John” or “Eric” or something.
Getting a late start but I’m going to go put in 5+ miles of beach walking right about now. See you all a bit later.
My chili smells better than yours.*
*for the first time ever, this is not a euphemism
I was discussing slow cooking vs the Instant Pot with my daughters on Thanksgiving and while the Instant Pot is indeed quick and efficient, you lose the long, slow cooked goodness where the aroma fills the entire house for hours.
I love that part.
Drake has his own university now?
Why did OSU have to get nutkicked by Purdue?!
COME ON, YOU GLORIOUS STEERS! DON’T BE A BUNCH OF…. (listens into earpeace) …I’m being explained why that word is now wrong and chastized for even considering using that word.
Whoa whoa whoa, the guy returning punts for Texas is named Lil’Jordan????
“I was there first!” [pouts]
-Harold Miner
THAT WAS AN AMAZING 2 HOUR NAP!
wow, United just have no finishing quality whatsoever
“Oh, go fuck yourself.” – United Airlines Flight 175
If Okies score here I’m gonna stick my dick in this one and call it done
I knew there would be a lot of PI and holding calls in the OU v UT game but holy shit.
I don’t care for their team, but Texas has a cool logo and jersey
Texas defending like it’s a parade in November, 1963
[wipes sweat from brow, is thankful that it isn’t the butt of this joke]
-The Alamo
Who’s that? I don’t remember.
Its not the 4th qtr. yet, your time is coming.
Fuck You America is dfo’s best tag .
ah surely enjoy it!
Endzone cameras seem visibly crooked in this game. Or maybe its the stadium.
When making chili, if you don’t de-glaze the pan with beer after cooking your choice of proteins* you don’t know what the hell you’re doing. I have spoken.
*pork, veal, elk, cow, whatever
This guy?
This guy speaks the truth!
A thumbs-up from Mr. Right on the cooking front is like receiving a fist-bump from the ghost of Terry Fox*.
*Canadian slant on things
I’m making pesto cream sauce over fresh pasta tomorrow. But now I really want to make chili.
I think I might drop a grand on Pitt’s ML.
Yes, I’m lying. They are gonna get so assfucked sans lube.
Although a grand bet would return $29K if it paid off.
Hmmmmmm…..
I know my +3000 bet is a very, very long shot but Bovada has some tempting alternate total point over bets.
For a second it looked like the RT was about to sack his own QB.
Mack Brown.
Yes, U*NC, I’m still giggling about this.
how in Christ’s name is Okie punting here??
Still a one score game and they’re on their side of the field. You don’t get it and the Prolonged Hornies get a field goal, suddenly its a 11 point game and you got players pressing instead of playing.
You have to know your team, and Booner Sooner has to win by scoring. Plus their D has to be getting tired.
Couldn’t pass up Pitt by 1-6 points at +3000.
I sure hope you right! I’d watch ND v. Okies/tOSU as a semifinal
You’re betting on Pitt? Are you taking the Elder or the Younger?
We can only hope twbs is taking the opposite of everyone’s advice here, just based on principle.
Saints blow entire lead before 40th minute. LOL, Mark Hughes. cunt cunt cunty cunt
PREACH!
Oklahoma defending in this game as well as they defended Cherokee land rights in the 1880s, hey-cha-cha
Kareem Hunt has a disorder where he processes girlfriends and soccer balls the opposite. I’ve seen him make sweet tender love to an Umbro Champions League Official.
see, this is what we missed last night – BUDDY’s taek!!
Am I reading that right? Did OK burn through all its TOs in one quarter?
Northern Steer Fuckers are as sloppy as expected.
Yes. And based on this quarter alone, the Sooners shouldn’t be anywhere near a playoff.
Gonna have to disagree with you, Hippo, with OSU needing an OU loss in order to clear a path to the CFB Playoffs. OSU can get in if Oklahoma gets a sloppy win and OSU murderdeathkills NW. It won’t be right but it worked in 2014 when the All Powerful Committee was distracted by the sparkle of a OSU 59-0 asskicking of Wisconsin in the Big (14-4) Championship Game. Its unlikely because the defense probably can’t pitched a shutout even if it was playing a Pee Wee Football team.
But you are right with the Bee One Gee West Division being weaker than the East. The East is undefeated in four games.
Okla held to a field goal again, Tex up 7-6
OK, so when one is staying at their gf’s house, and one woke up at 6am today, and then went to the food store and bought a shitload of stuff to cook for the aforementioned gf.
And the aforementioned gf is still asleep at 1pm, while one is trying to watch college footballzingz.
I think she fucked up and she don’t get no fresh cooked breakfast today.
Opinions?
Of course, this is all hypothetical.
/asking foar a friend
She didn’t wake up on your schedule? Watta bitch! Drop her post haste.
plus LIEK, breakfast food is nice to wake up to, and/or heats up well
Meh, fuck her.
It’s after 1pm.
breakfast anytime of day is good. Do NAE be an ass!
You know I cannot not do that!!!!!!
It’s like you don’t know me at all.
And I gently semi-woke her up at 9am to let her know I was going to the store to get stuff to cook for her. She told me don’t wake HER up when i get back….but plan to cooK for lunch. I was good with that because I wanted to watch College Gameday and also maybe get a little drunk.
BUT WHAT TIME DO YOU HAVE YOUR FUCKING LUNCH?
I am planning to eat my first meal of the day (bison chili) around 4-4:30
Fair enough. But you are awake and not keeping your alleged significant other waiting to cook for you, while he is trying to watch JV Footy and getting hammered. Allegedly.
If she didn’t want to eat and wanted to be comatose until sundown, she could have said so. Not as if I wouldn’t have empathized.
Disclaimer….
In all seriousness, I’m kinda glad she’s leaving me the fuck alone on college footballzing day. Not sure how I got this lucky.
We’ll order out later when she finally regains consciousness.
^^^ This! Do the right thing and act on your first impulse.
Why didn’t you just cook the breakfast and eat it all yourself?
I was trynna be considerate…..?
I’m thinking that the freezer vodka and leftover pizza is the rule of the day.
She can eat whatever the fuck she can findz when she wakes up in a few hours.
Just make her jealous by saying that Ricky Nelson came over to see her but missed it cause she was sleeping.
/All the kids love Ricky Nelson, right?
I still masturbate to that picture of Farrah Fawcett so I’m no help.
Not that picture, one taken at her wake. Don’t judge.
You have to make her jealous by having her walk in on you making another woman breakfast. She’ll start getting her ass out of bed on time after that.
“Sounds like you gave her too much of something if she’s still sleeping”
–Bill Cosby–
Jokes aside, is she dead?
In light of recent events and how lethal both are to women, breast cancer screenings will now be called “Kareem Hunt screenings”
KHunt’s new theme song…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TqpBB2uhRSM
I was going to say “Kick Out the Jams”
Well, technically he is a motherfucker.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8XhQRFO4M7A
Apropos of something, Wayne Cramer is criminally underrated.
Soton have TWO v. United, at 20′ mark.
/obligatory Mark Hughes is a cunt
In order to speed up games, I think times outs SHOULD be worth points if you don’t use them.
“Can they be rolled over into other games/years?”
-Union Negotiator
Suck it, EZU.
Nasty sumbitches.
A young Michael Richards references the manner in which Birmingham, Alabama police tried to stop civil rights protesters. Wake up, sheeple.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IueMdK9I4Qg
Ryan Finley….Draft stock increased.
I still have trouble wrapping my mind around Nathan Peterman in the NFL and the Nathan Peterman who had a stat line of 22/37 308yrds 5TD and 0INT in a road game against #2 Clemson two years ago.
Clem-zon defense overrated?
I think Peterman just straight-up chokes at the pro level, much like the Chiefs when facing their first playoff opponent, or Chiefs’ players when facing a pregnant girlfriend.
Furman is undefeated!
Dick Sheridan likes this +1
You know who else liked dick? Nixon supporters.
/you thought he was gonna zigga but HE GON ZAGA!
China likes this comment +1
I blame facemasks for being so grabbable.
“They should just lay down and enjoy it.”
-Bobby Knight, missing the joke
Texas/Okie for now but come 2pm WE GON ZAGA!
/I couldn’t help it. I’m only human
Jim Boeheim’s nose is judging you.
Also I gotta find a sports bar which is female friendly-ish, but will put on ESPN2 at 5pm. Or else I just drink a lot and get it on the laptop.
I’m good either way.