It had been a typically gorgeous Southern California winter day. Yeah, it had started out in the 40s as I walked out the door to head to work, but it had warmed up considerably on the drive to Downtown.
The hookers weren’t there this morning. Was it because of the cold or something more nefarious?
I brushed that thought off and optimistically decided they were working. The holidays must be rough for the ladies. Those babies and/or abortions don’t pay for themselves.
As I drove home in perfect 73 degree weather, I realized I was hungry. I thought about it and knew there was a football game to watch, so I made the decision.
I called and ordered. ETA 30 minutes. Perfect timing.
After I got home, I was undressing when the doorbell rang. I quickly jumped to answer. I was REALLY hungry.
She was standing there wearing stiletto heels and a brown trenchcoat.
“Hi”, she purred as she opened the coat to reveal what she wasn’t wearing.
“Hi”, I answered.
She asked, “Who’s playing?”
“Eagles and Potato Skins”
“Cool. No need for doggie then.”
“Yup”
TO THE GAME!
The Eagles need to win tonight to have any chance of defending their Super Bowl championship.
That’s as short and to the point as I can make it. Anything else would be verbose and self-indulgent.
Comment away!
Genesis halftime?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xvhhbnMaxBI
lol @ Witten just saying “Fuck it. Slurs suck.”
I especially hate Christmas this year. Fuck your joy.
This guy’ll be right over.
Joy is a falafel sandwich?
Tiny Darren is a wizard
So I’m assuming this game isn’t very good. Would I be correct?
we are only here for the fantasy implications
Depends on what you like in your game.
For the LULZ.
I’ll bet Colin Kaepernick would have at least read the playbook, unlike Sanchez.
Sanchez uses his playbook to hide his Swank magazine during film study.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dwN3ia0w2uw
(skip to :50)
Hey, reading is what got Kaep in trouble. Sanchez isn’t going to risk it.
Let Nacho run it. They’ll never expect it.
Sanchez gonna accidentally intentional ground
that pass was almost that bad
keep run defending like that, you shits
Mark Sanchez at the goal line? What could go wrong?
Bartender: You going to break stuff
Me : Cant guarantee anything
Bartender: if we go burn one will you be better?
Me: lets try
That seems really unnecessary. What did that hobo even do to you guys?
He knows what he done! – Scotchy
Kawhi looks good in silver and black ?
Did Witten refer to Eagles fans as “Boo Birds”? Is that a thing that I’m not aware of? Cause I’m not sure if I love it or hate it.
GREAT PLAY CALLING.
like Booger implied, take Ertz out and telegraph you runnin
Fellow degenerates.
Hey, who you callin’….. oh wait, checks out ok.
chuh fuckin’ chuh
Sir.
Mike McCarthy is sitting at home right now, wondering why Philadelphia isn’t punting.
GO FOR IT
Welp
Jason Witten’s secret being in the dirt makes sense, since he commentates a game like his mouth is full of it.
damn it Ertz. ONE MOAR YARD!!
Evening, CHUDs.
And a happy MAGA to you, sir!
12 weeks in and we’re still getting nothing but quality insights from Booger.
Are they going to put him down? What the fuck.
Colt appears to have the ol’ Knee AIDS
MOAR LIEK Pot o’ Glue McCoy imo godbless
again – those mechanics. Total shit.
even Cletus cringes at these animations
It’s 2011 all over again.
Mark Sanchez is more famous for being up a black guy’s ass than Stop and Frisk
Been asked to not throw things at the bar now.
I am leaving.
how in tittyChrist does Philly not have ONE GUY who can run that old gimp down??
Those Birds have seen what he does to trees, they aint going near him.
Their starting corner is a backup garbage truck driver
Don’t make me have to catch you! – AD
Adrian Peterson hit that gap so hard, he thought it was his son.
BANNER
I LOVE YOU MARK SANCHEZ.
‘Cause I got AP in Fantasy, see?
oh, I am sooooooo thunderfucked
I was watching the “4th and 26” game on replay today, and Darren Sharper sacked Donovan McNabb. And then I remembered most of his sacking on and off the field wasn’t consensual.
Successful handoff what progress
AD! AD! AD!
vomit
oh absolute motherfuckers
Catfight! But Wiig has a glass jaw apparently.
oh yeah, CLASSIC Tits/Jaguras!!
Tailor to what he does well? Their offense will be based around banging high school girls? Interesting strategy, Cotton.
Hide your daughters and grand daughters here comes Nacho.
El Droppo those pants
Let’s just get this out of the way, shall we?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=82RIfy-gRa4
I heard they needed a gallon of KY to pull Sanchize’s head out of Brandon Moore’s asshole
Dakota Jeebus’ mechanics are still all fucked up.
come on, Dakota Jeebus. I needs 5 more outta Ertz
[DOOR FLIES OPEN]
MARK TRAVIS IS IN THE HOUSE, TIME TO PUT THESE PUSSY BIRDS TO BED
NACHO LIBRE!!!
Nacho time?
Nacho!
SANCHIZE IS IN
give us Sanchize or give us DEATH!!
My wife walked in the room, saw him on the screen and said “Buttfumble!”
My 17 year old cousin said, “He used to hang around our high school pretending to be homeless!”
that’s a KEEPER dude!