More squadoos playing? You bet. TO THE GAMES!
Bengals/Chargers:
Cincy is likely to get stomped given that wr Green is done for the year and rb Mixon was limited in practice all week. On top of all that The Fecund One, Mr. P. Rivers, has placed yet another sperm bomb into Tiffany’s nether region. But perhaps this game catches the Bolts off guard, given the emotional win last week vs. Pitt and their upcoming battle with K.C.
Broncs/Niners:
The fellas that poor Nick Mullens had to lean on in the passing game go by the handles of Goodwin, Pettis and Kittles. That last guy is a tight end that has proved this year that he belongs but all I can think of is cat food when I read his name.
Eagles/Cowboys:
They came, they played, they caused people to boo uncontrollably. Philly’s running back trio of Adams, Clement and Smallwood have a collective average of 4.3 yards per carry so far this season. Each one brings a little something different to the game and it helps to keep opposing D’s a wee bit off balance. Though you wouldn’t call the Cowboys D a difference-maker they have played capably in that they’ve yet to give up 30 points in a game.
Steelers/Raiders:
Raiders have a mere 10 sacks so far this year so Ben should have all the time in the world for Brown and Smith-Schuster’s patterns to unfold. Quick! Name a player in the Raiders secondary. I thought so-if they did have someone of quality Gruden would have traded him by now.
Lions/Cards:
An inter-conference tilt that means nothing to no one.
Let’s get some soup!
MIAMI MIRACLE, COMRADES! I CALLED IT! Did you see Gronk’s half assed tackle on the last play? With that kind of poor tackling, it’s no wonder the Dolphins beat the P*triots 30% of the time in Miami!
Woooooo!
You did call it! Props to you.
“The Old Testament God Friended Me” had a revolving cast because everyone tended to die.
Bad Dak, Bad.
delayed another hour…barkeep!
perhaps you will also find a rugger?
Perhaps!
So if I turn on CNN tomorrow morning will I be rewarded with yet another viral video of a drunk female redacteds fan being aggressively dragged off a United flight?
I wish! I just sleep on flights when I’m drunk, way less fun
What?! You can’t dive for the fucking endzone anymore?!
WHY THE FUCK WOULD THE QUARTERBACK GIVE HIMSELF UP ON ONE GRASSBLADE LINE?!
yeah that’s a special grade of fuckery
Gotham is still on?
Wow, the Bengals QB has guts.
He committed seppuku?
wouldn’t YOU??
If the alternative was Hue? Hell yes.
Worse he’s going to save Marvin’s job
Bengals do a good!
98 yards of total offense in the first quarter. Oof.
Color-blind announcers are calling The Kittle black.
Does Wentz think he’s Donovan McNabb?
Is he drunk?
OH F*CK YOU SIDEWAYS WITH A METAL RAKE, ROSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do you think the birthplace of Thomas Paine is marketed as ‘House of Paine’?
Detours around the house advise you to “Jump Around”.
Does it still have $20 cover charge?
Soulful QB: 4/6, 23 yards
Maybe having no soul was Dalton’s strength.
Best thing about Vegas is the winter. Just a great weather, went to Red Rock today.
Folks.
Sir.
Bad; my flight is delayed and I suspect we will not be leaving in half an hour as they claim
Good; I can watch more FOOTBALL
Bad: Airport drink prices.
I gots a United club membership
The first rule of United club….
Hot potato!
Oh God. A bar near me is running a special tonight where people drink for *free* from the start of the game until the first team scores.
Inevitable result: 0-0 tie and record number of DUIs
They’ve done events like this before because their location sucks and they have to generate attention somehow. The place is also a weird mish mash of south comfort food and forties in literal paper bags.
I genuinely thought about going, but I spent the last couple days drinking 14% ABV barrel aged beers.
There’s no way that can go wrong!
after much consideration, methinks I want RRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! and Bearistocrats! to draw.
That’s not a catch, but based on the two Green Bay challenges, that doesn’t mean shit with challenges.
River Plate with a goal in Extra Time, 2-1 (4-3) to them in the Riot Bowl.
Maybe it’s just me but Tim Patrick don’t look so Irish
It’s a completely other sport but Zaga/Vols is going down to the last whistle.
Dallas has about as much luck in the red zone as I do every few weeks.
Birds did everything but score for Dallas there and they still can’t get in
turns out Gallup is pretty good when he has a little help in the WR corps
Personal Foul: Mildly inconveniencing the passer
We’re two years away from QBs getting a one-yard halo rule.
CURSED IMAGE
We’ve got our Chubb on!!
We’re going out to eat tonight at a place called “World of Beer”.
I’m sure this won’t end badly, right? RIGHT???????
https://worldofbeer.com/Locations/OwingsMills
Holy shit! I’ve been there!
We all have…
Owings Mills locale?
Try “World of Drugs” next door.
/ears start burning
Pft. Just go to “World of Belligerence”.
Yup, only that one actually. Enjoy your time in the suburbs of Ballsitchmore! Try to make it out to Maryland Live! at some point
Metro Center seems safe-ish.
Do you mean the DC metro station? I hear the metro doesn’t catch on fire nearly as often nowadays!
LOL. No. Metro Center in Owings Mills.
Big shopping and eating place with lotsa security.
Baltimore County Cop followed me all over that place a few days ago. No shit. I was very happy I wasn’t a black man.
Too soon?
http://metrocentreom.com/retail/
Got a chance to go there when I took the train from Norfolk to DC a month or so ago, pretty crazy place. To go back, I found it was easier to take the metro from Union to Alexandria and hop on Amtrak from there. The more you know!
SIGH. C’mon Donks
I only saw post game coverage, but the end of Miami/NE restored my faith in humanity. Oh to be in a Southie sports bar right now.
I was eating slow-cooked pork while watching it live. Without question, one of the top 5 moments of my existence.
I can’t recall many times where a series of laterals worked on a play like that, but I guess when Gronk is too big and dumb to chase a defender, the odds are in your favor.
The Saints game where they missed teh playoffs because Carney shanked the xp after
Maybe the zig-zaggiest emotional moment in sports history.
Pretty sure the radio call guy hung himself before the team got off the field
He didn’t eat enough Tide Pods during the half.
I’m not saying the Bengals defense has quit on Marvin Lewis, but the Bengals defense has quit on Marvin Lewis.
You mean they haven’t quit on Hue Jackson?
When I get to restaurant/ sports bar in just a bit, which shitty game should I insist they change to?
Stillers/Raiders is my lean, but I really would love to see Iggles/’Boys fans cannibalize one another, and also want to see Niners go further into the toilet.
Decisions, decisions. What can I say? I’m complicated.
raiders/stillers
Eagleboys sound like a horrifying genetic hybrid. Go with that one
I found a solution! I’m watching the games AND the Christmas parade while wearing my Ipod.
/ cackles maniacally
Lots of empty seats at fake college stadium today. Bidwill is so lucky Phoenix is a destination for most visiting team fans in December….
Are the Cowboys wearing sparkly numbers?
Only when Johnny Weir is working the sideline.
Honestly, I’m amazed they haven’t bejeweled their unis yet.
Can the Eagles non-existent secondary handle the 54th ranked passing offense in the NFL? Let’s find out!
So an easily stopped force meets a mushy, tepid object? Physics is fun!
OK. I am ready for my second loss of the day. 😛 (Come on you goddamn golden idiots, prove me wrong)
one more time!
Sad trombone…
Well, so if Dallas wins it will only be due to this play, at least to Philly fans.
BULLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLSHIT
RG3 threw a good ball there.
OPENING DERPAGE
Good. The Bengals still remember how to sack a QB other than their own.
BREAKING NEWS: Its December and the Browns are currently no longer in Last Place.
Darkest Timeline indeed.
I either go back to expecting a Super Bowl again or I immediately quit on the season when the game ends. Let’s fucking go!
I wonder what the credit rating is of that guy in the banner pic. I’m pretty sure he’s not allowed to vote.
Yes he is, his ID is inked in under his left ear.
I like the Neil Lane commercial because that guy knows to ask the gay kid if that is a nice ring or not.
that commercial on mute is very uncomfortable…
Oh fuck! I’m still alive in the Little Drummer Boy challenge and there’s a fucking Christmas parade starting right on front of my fucking house!
my fucking house
“Actually, I prefer to call it The Playboy Mansion.”
-Hugh Hefner
Stabbin’ cabin.