Let’s get right to it! Welcome, fellow Commentists, to the first NFL Saturday night of the season.
And how is the NFL rewarding you for your patronage and fandom?
The Cleveland Browns versus the Denver Broncos.
Actually, in the previous decade, this game would have been such absolute dogshit most other networks would have programmed against it to win the ratings. But this year there is the intrigue of the success (?) Cleveland has made of their year. At this point last year, we would have been rooting for the Browns to either win their first game or run the table to 16-straight. This year, they have disposed of their head coach and somehow not yet permanently damaged their rookie QB. The net result so far is a 5-7-1 record, placing them…
third in the AFC North, a half-game up on the Bengals – which should FINALLY bring an end to the Marv Lewis era – and within catching distance of the Ravens (7-6) and the Steelers (7-5-1). Do you realize that we live in a world where there’s an outside chance the Browns could win their division?
The Broncos are faring cromulently, given that Case Keenum is their QB, the AIDS quilt is their offensive line, and Von Miller is about ready to kill the next teammate that costs them a victory. A 6-7 record is kind of surprising given the number of injuries & weird coincidences that have occured with them this year. If they could ever get ownership stability, they might have a chance to compete against the Chiefs & Chargers, once Andy Reid runs out of ideas & Marmalard retires to sire more children for his cult.
So pour yourself some bourble, grab some snacks,
sit back and let’s get through this together.
Wow! Greggggggg is a psychopathic shitbag, but he’s at least he let his defense play defense there.
I mean, that’s pretty much every NFL coach.
DAMN YOU!!
Those are the top qualifications for an NFL head coach.
Jesus. that was nuts. I rather be a Dallas fan then cheer for the Browns.
OK, you’ve got a point.
I don’t know about that
Plus blue, white, and silver go with more stuff than brown and orange….. maybe.
buh bye, Vance!
Was the Browns kicker just shit-talking the crowd?
Browns… win?
#ThePauls!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ie4x8hWYYE
67 yard FG?
just let him kick from 70
The rare 9 man blitz.
That spike was ill-advised
-Darren Sharper
“Do it, pussy.”
-Bill Cosby
Oooh, what a delightful tea party
Donks better doink
THIS PLAY, I CALL IT AARON BURR, BECAUSE WE’RE TAKING A DESPERATE SHOT AT HAMILTON!!!
Okay, let’s see the almost 2 minute drill
and here comes the Donk FG
I’ve got $10 on the uprights.
Oooh, so close.
Why don’t you go ahead and challenge the spot, Greg? Really cement your end game performance.
THANKS OBAMA
No wonder the Pats and Steelers win every year.
Ahhh sure; nice for the Cowboys fan.
and when do the Cowboys win Moose? When?
That was the point.
This guy? This guy speaks the truth man!
He’s a fucking cowboys fan.
Hey!
that was the play??? really?
PEKO MAN!
Oh the Pauls.
Evening. Just got back from dinner. How’s Josh Gordon doing? Josh Cribbs? Mohammed Massoquai?
Amazon is hiring.
Josh Cribbs was hired by the Browns this year to be a special teams intern.
This is not a joke…
Another first down ruined by over-coaching.
Greggggggg Gregg’d it!
Hue Jackson is challenging the decision to go for it.
Naw, you think he’s throwing a flag, but that’s just how people hitchhike nowadays
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6nkiF0hU7b0
I’m pretty damn happy with my amp settings, this sounds fantastic on just two JBLs
Well, at least I didn’t have a knife in my hand.
*Also had a pretty strong feeling this would happen.
still a foot short
Fucking Cleveland is AHEAD and even they are going for the yard and certain victory.
Upset Hippo
mah stomping hissy fit is now EPIC, ah say
The look on the hippo’s face when the bite didn’t work is the same look I had the morning after the 2016 elections.
(turns on TV) “Oh my God, it really happened.”
Denver playing like a team intent on moving up two spots in the draft.
Yeeeeep.
And on cue…
Know what?
I’m gonna make a pie.
Not a “pie” pie but something like it.
Dude!
Quiche!
I’m making fucking quiche tomorrow.
No shit! I’m making quiche tomorrow! QUICHE TWINS
Someone remind Yeah Right tomorrow that he’s making a pie-like meal.
I left a five pound bag of flour out as a reminder. And a wedge of this glorious swiss style cheese.
/Awkwardly hiding food boner.
/calls Yeah Right up to the blackboard to write out the recipe.
He’s so high going to make it actual flowers.
Wait wait wait…you put flour in your quiche?!
Quiche is prepared in a pastry shell yes?
And so began DFO’s “Quiche Wars”, not quite as bloody as the KSK “Girl Scout Cookie Wars”, but still terrible in their own right.
Ah, okay, as long as you aren’t putting it in the filling…..some people do! And they are wrong!
/ eyebrow twitches
I didn’t know “let’s make quiche” was a level of being high and now all I want is some quiche.
Welcome to
“The Matrix”
It’s amazing how unintentionally sad McDonalds and Bud Light commercials are
Unintentionally?
Hippo on Sunday Morning
The really amazing thing is that the replacement refs were worse.
The bar is so low, and they still tripped over it and fell face first into a pile of pig shit.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2unasWwTe9s
PTM 2020
Cleveland rocks
THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOUR BRAIN, VANCE??
*Unrolls scroll*
–J. Vance
lack of oxygen.
Stupid refs
Alright, I’m going against a personal vow and am watching “Teen Titans Go! To the Movies”.
Seriously, I would’ve bet me becoming a Hardcore Liberal Steelers Fan before I voluntarily watched this when I first heard of it.
And not just for the after-credits scene?
No. Its for the whole thing. The humor sounds good instead of just dumb. That’s what I want. To be entertained by good writing and not 30 minutes of “look at the joke, laugh”.
Though I am interested in the Teen Titans vs. Teen Titans Go! thing. If anything, I hope the voice talents get paid twice since they’re technically voicing two different characters.
I dunno, looks like foot not over, but maybe ball over
Ball Don’t Lie!
Flacco or Eli to the Donks would be nuts.
Bortles to Gigantes as well
That’s a 1st down.
CHALLENGE you dope