Whine/Rant Alert:
Okay, there’s a bunch of sports-hungry folks that have the day off today. Imagine them (me) sitting down in front of the tube, ready to drink in the puck/football/curling stone/basketball/shuttlecock/sheep’s head/Quaffle and Thunderball action with their oh-so thirsty eyes and there’s…nothing. Hey NBA, college football, college basketball, NHL, EPL, Badminton Super League, Quidditch Juniors Alliance, Central Asia Buzkashi Association and Amalgamated Consortium of Corporate Interests-every one of your sports leagues dropped the damn ball today. There’s no excuse for this. I was raised to be a consumer from Day 1 and I’d like to consume and you’ve all let me down. For Shame!*
*does the word ‘shame’ have any relevance anymore, though?
There’s one other thing that no one has made any mention as far as I know and it’s that ESPN is reporting that Christian McCaffrey has engaged in domestic violence-check it out-
Panthers’ McCaffrey sets NFL mark, beats dad.
It’s right there in the headlines. First things first, I admire this particular christian for thinking outside the box. Most believers would take it right to their spouse/girlfriend but this fella was not looking for an easy way to prove his masculinity. Dude’s hardcore. Best wishes for a speedy recovery to ‘Pops’, btw.
TO THE GAME!
Bronchitis/Poison Oak:
Much as Herr Gruden would deny it, his leadership at this point in the season is modeled after the example of Erwin Rommel and his exceptional tanking strategy. I’m thinking Denver in a walk.
If you’ve got a rant or a whine I’m all ears.
Ur doing it wrong.
Pictured here: Balls’ living room on January 1st.
Except I can’t play a musical instrument if my life depended on it.
Stupid sexy Santa
That’s so wrong it’s totally right.
I don’t think Gruden is a very good coach.
wait until you see him DRAFT this Spring!
LOL…shoulda seen that coming.
(phrasing)
The only real query in Donks-land is whether Keenum or Vance Joseph sucks the most.
WHAT A SHITSHOW, Delay of Fucking Game?
The guy who I beat last week would have won the title match. I would be 60/40 to beat the guy the other finalist beat.
Is there a site to track other ESPN fantasy leagues?
I wanna know how many idiots cost themselves fantasy championships by not sitting todd Gurley
NAWT me (nor Senor), we both inserted Breida and received ALL 3-ish POINTS OF BOUNTY.
/fuck, I really would have picked up and played CJ Anderson if our League didn’t lock waivers for playoffs (and I DID have Malcolm Brown rostered, who promptly went on IR)
//at least I picked up CJA in DFO-ball, so Senor couldn’t sub him! 😀
As you may recall, Balls and I accurately DFO Scouted that Kolton Miller was goddamned terrible
Please feel free to write in your own joke here.
just the tip??
LOL. Simplicity at its finest.
Last time I saw a black rod hit a white girl in the head that hard….
GO!!!!!!!
LUBE UP, here comes Chubb!!
say what you will, but Case tosses the best murder ball in the league
Seriously, Oakland DBs must be salivating.
in front of a crowd that wants BLOOD FOAR TEH BLOOD GODS, no less
I would have popped him in the ribs. Same 15 yard penalty, probably, but he’ll feel it more.
yeah we gonna have fights
He was moving so fast I thought he was gonna run all the way to Vegas.
if Yiadom’s foot was in end zone? Touchback
GIFT BULLSHIT REVIEW
It’s Christmas! Give him the TD!
and the Shield is boning Oakland something fierce
That was the coolest thing the Raiders have done since Alzado roided himself into tumors.
I haven’t seen a theft in Oakland that bad since….well, last time I was in Oakland.
Ok, that was some funny shit (sorry Hippo)
And some of the shittiest looking replay video I’ve seen
it’s ok, I semi-admired myself
oh my fucking GOD, you dickless motherfuckers
Holy fucking hell.
Did they really not rule that down at the one?
3rd and 21 for Case Keenum is a very sad thing
D-O-N-K-S!!!!
FINALLY, a photo that needed no altering!
Jeebus that’s creepy.
/wonders who started playing “Love Will Tear Us Apart”
That Grey Goose commercial was filmed on top of the Pacific Stock Exchange Building in DTLA. It used to house a nightclub but now only has a few offices and a parking structure. It’s used for filming A LOT.
Reminder of the best song of 2018:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-N6jfO5NOQ
I chopped up 5 onions for the French Onion Soup and made Rum Balls. (Of course I did. They’re delicious, btw)
No work tomorrow. Time for alcohol.
oh man, your toilet gon’ have a MERRY fucking Christmas!!
My work buddy is having 12 people over tonight and his toilet backed up this morning. He left work early to attend to it…
I think Rum Balls should be your new name.
But I do Bourbon Balls too! And Whiskey Balls. And Tequila Balls.
Actually, Tequila Balls works.
LMFAO
Howza about covering all the bases—Booze Balls.
I am so fucking tired. Cooked dinner for 15 last night and now I have to go to Pasadena to watch my father-in-law and his brother bitch at each other.
I know what you mean, have been sitting in sweats all day researching MLB rookies for upcoming dynasty draft.
/am being a dick, sorry
//flip side of divorce, haven’t had sex with a non-courtesan in like 5 years 😀
also, does this mean you won’t be around to talk shit with me during tonight’s DERP war?
Pop by my place if you need a break.
ok, maybe not a Christmas film, but nothing ever makes me smile as regularly as mah favourite Parker Posey (such a crush, you just have no idea b/c it can’t be put into words) scene from an all-time Top 5 comedic movie:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVkChL4BfFE
I will fight you. Or share, whatevs. Not at the same time. Unless you wear a wig.
Indeed! Tis the kind of woman who will break necks when she’s 60.
Three Wise Men walk into the manger bearing gifts in order to praise the infant Messiah.
Wise man steps on a rake, rake handle flies up and smacks him right in the face.
Wise man puts hands over face in teary-eyed pain, hollers “JESUS CHRIST!”
Mary looks up at Joseph and says, “Oh, Joseph, I like that so much better than Murray!”
(YMMV, Substitute your favorite stereotypical Jewish first name as the situation requires)
Mary: The child needs shoes.
Joseph: Have the Holy Spirit buy them.
Mary: Ay Joseph! Please get over it!
It’s even funnier in Spanish.
Off to my first III Forks. I look forward to not being able to move after dinner.
Mrs. Clause checking her arm and core strength for when Santa returns.
Did you know that the pole itself spins? I did not know that until recently.
puts a new twist on the term spinner
Neigh, I’d not have him. I’d not have him ALL NIGHT…
I mean come on.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNcoHQrveEQ
/inspired by Wake’s situation
I’d moved back to where I am now and was engaged to a woman from Ottawa that was born in Bangladesh. We had agreed that I would get everything ready apartment-wise and that she would join me later after having completed her degree. /cut to Xmas get-together later that year
Cousin: “A guy broke into my place and stole a bunch of stuff but left behind the most valuable items.”
/laughs all around
My Mom: “Must have been a stupid Paki!” [laughs some more]
/a few folks look at me
Me: “I gotta go now.”
My Mom: “So soon?”
Me: “Yeah.”
going out on a limb here, but I think racism really kinda sucks
I’ll join you out on that limb.
SNAP!
(limb breaks)
knew I shouldn’t have had ALL FOUR frozen Greek yogurt bars…
It must have been a Dutch Elm.
/tree racism is funny, though
Ok, but what about when the little Dutch boy stuck his finger in a wet dyke…
/fills whiteboard with equations
I’m assuming you didn’t marry this woman. That is a special kind of AWKWARD for the rest of your lives.
Can’t see the lines, can ya Russ?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_yQhALyAx0
It’s nipply in here.
Great scene.
GAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!
LOCK GRUDEN UP
LOCK GRUDEN UP
Thanks to Ape, this is the only other play I know of this weekend along with the Landry 63-yard pass.
Landry, another Ex-LOLphins player who was better than Tannehill at QB
Last night’s story with racist family:
Racist family member: I wish illegals would stop coming to America.
Me: Well, they wouldn’t need to come to America if it wasn’t for American intervention. Most notably, Honduras, Haiti, Nicaragua, Guatemala, Paraguay and pretty soon, Brazil.
RFM: . . . Maybe the families shouldn’t be split apart.
/Wakezilla downs another bottle of dessert wine. Six. Days. To. Go.
Mmm. Dessert.
mmm. Racism.
I don’t have a TV. Are the Oakland Raiders fans burning down the stadium yet?
If they were, you wouldn’t need a TV to find out.
I see that Derek Carr has a tattoo on the wrist of his throwing hand. I have to say, knowing he crosses the street and doesn’t go down the highway is a little disappointing. No wonder Gruden hates him so much.
I will be posting my annual Die Hard watching sometime later. I’ve been doing this on Twitter the last five years or so, but, Twitter is a cesspool. I’ll be making a live thread, and all of you chuckledicks are invited to the party.
Only if you acknowledge it’s not a Christmas movie
Uh, it’s the greatest Christmas movie.
Rocky IV is more of a Christmas movie, and nobody ever considers that movie a Christmas movie
Russian Orthodox Christmas?
Bad Santa would like a word.
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is played on several large screens inside St. Peter’s Basilica in the Vatican during Midnight Mass every Christmas Eve.
Absofuckinglutely it’s a Christmas movie!
It’s a Festivus movie. The Exceptional Thieves wanted to rob the place and kill the hostages, and John McClane expressed his grievances about that.
Lethal Weapon is the better Xmas movie.
Mel Gibson disagrees, because the dialogue wasn’t in Latin
I like the cut of that McCaffrey’s jib
–Oedipus