JV NFL – Prelude Exhibitions and Raging Semi Open Thread

I fell asleep watching the West By God Virginia self-cousin-fucking last night.  No worries, I caught Wazzu (who I mostly bet ML at -140, thankfully) eking it out from 3-5am compressed.  Yeah, that’s an old trick from when my oldest was an insomniac baby.

Today’s fun:

Florida (+5.5) v. Meeechigan, No Homoes Chikin Bowl (Atlanta, GA – Noon, ESPN)

Yes, they put Peach back in the official title, but I mock them anyway.  I trust the Gators to be even shittier than the Wolverine backups, but don’t have any bets on it.

Virginia (+4.5) v. South Carolina, Dying Redneck Town Department Store Bowl (Charlotte, NC – Noon, ABC)

My system says to fade both the ACC Coastal (except Duke) and SEC Paaawwwwwlll East, so I am at a loss.  But Wahoowa has been pretty good as an underdog this year.  May throw a $50 down.

Arkansas State (+2) v. Nevada, Martin Luther Tha’ King Bowl (Tucson, AZ – 1:15, CBSSN)

Because AZ legislators would want it that way, obvs.  This is notable only for the Lesser Wolf Pack aspect (and yeah, they spell it as two words, weirdos).  Don’t watch this.

Notre Dame (+13) v. Clemson, Raging Semi #1 (Arlington, TX – 4:00, ESPN)

Now, the real fun starts!  I am more than a little surprised at the heavy spread, given that SO MUCH of the Tiggers’ dominance can be attributed to their fearsome DL, how missing its best player.  Hmmmmmm.  Still, I hate both these sides mercilessly and equally.  Get fucked, dickasses.

Oklahoma (+14) v. Alabama, Raging Semi #2 (Miami, FL – 8:00, ESPN)

This also seems kind of high, though betting against Roll Damn Tide is a fool’s errand.  Still, UGA showed some exploitable weakness…so an upset can’t be ruled out.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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I know it’s not the worst thing about college football, but “independence” drives me crazy and every time Notre Dame eats shit I tell myself it validates that opinion.

herodotus450

lol backup quarteredback in the fucking playoff semifinal game.

Gratliff

just catching up and fucking terrific how much dick Michigan ran out and sucked today. Gonna be a very amusing day when I get back to work.

JustStopDude

The building I work in, like a tiny section of it is this data management company. One of their guys is a notoriously obnoxious Michigan fan. He drives up there for games like three times each year.

Keep in mind…he didn’t go there.

I am so looking forward to rubbing it in when I see him in the hallway.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

Burning through the left over vegan shit I have in my fridge from the sister’s visit. Tonight’s adventure is boca veggie burgers. Folks, the shit still sucks.Even doctored up and covered in sauces, they’re like vaguely meat flavored cardboard discs. They need to figure out how to properly emulate grease and such or this shit will never hold up.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That has always confused me; why try to act like meat? Just make fucking vegetarian dishes. The Indians have been doing it for a long time.

Gratliff

lol ’cause she desperately wants to eat meat but doesn’t want to hurt the cute critters. She already said she’d start eating meat again if they ever figure out the synthetic shit. I have had veggie chicken things that tasted really close, but the best the beef substitutes ever got was tasting like the veggie chicken things.

ArmedandHammered

She obviously has never spent any time in a real farm. She should work for awhile on one, then she would eat those critters out of spite.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I worked on a ranch when I was a kid and liked and empathized a bit with all the creatures. That doesn’t mean they aren’t delicious.

Horatio Cornblower

I worked on a poultry farm while in college and there is nothing you can do to a chicken that I would find inhumane.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Notre Dame gets hurt a lot.
Buncha fucking pussies.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Catholics…… butt hurt.

herodotus450

Should’ve cancelled this game at half-time and subbed in Ohio State-Georgia.

rockingdog

spotted…. hahahaha!
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That one class is a bitch.

herodotus450

Everytime I see Clem-zon’s head coach, I pronounce his first name like this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbn3OvXWtbs

ArmedandHammered
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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rockingdog

ND gonna take the L.
Clemson is like “Thank You, Next”

I’m gonna go play video games for a bit….
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theeWeeBabySeamus

Hate to say it, but that should be a Clemson pickerception.

Brocky

On some level, part of me wonders if Kelly actually got too much negative press for the scissorlift accident. The danger presented with high winds is just something I haven’t encountered very often in my life .

And the I remember that If this was any OTHER program, that coach would be gone faster than a pizza at a weight watchers convention

Fuck notre dame, if for no other reason than making me realize you’d get the benefit of the doubt when no one else would

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Sad Pig Band music.

JustStopDude

This is why its pointless to even have a national championship bowl. Just give it to Bama every year…

herodotus450

Travis Etienne “Mama Tambien” with the long td.

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So the little bar that could is doing their Drink Free During the Bears Game one more time this year. I’m finally caving and going. (They actually require you to RSVP.) I’ll probably live blog it here for the hell of it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Have you been training?

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ballsofsteelandfury

YES!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I really want to see someone tackle Trevor Lawrence by the hair.

Unfortunately, even though his hair is 2 feet long, ND can’t get within 5 yards of him.

I’m totes disappoint.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

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Horatio Cornblower

Every year I tell myself to take the kids’ college fund down to the sports book and bet it on whoever’s playing Notre Dame, and every year I chicken out and every year ND gets fucking smashed.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

So she likes cream pies?
You have our attention.

herodotus450

Main Bowl game sponsors should have to also be on theme with the game. So, for example, Hanes or Gildan or The Confederate States would be appropriate sponsors of this Cotton Bowl.

theeWeeBabySeamus

So hot chicks running around in their underpants waving the confederate flag.

Wow, I’m torn here. Lemme think this over…..

theeWeeBabySeamus

Nawt an intercepty catch. Sorry ND.

That’s getting overturned.

blaxabbath

haha — asu mbb followed up their home win over Kansas by losing at home to Princeton.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Herb Sendek would be pleased…. if he had any clue what’s going on. Anywhere.

Horatio Cornblower

Just met the boyfriend. I regret to announce he is bigger than me.

Looks like it’s time to scream “I’m a hemophiliac” and then get ready to kick some back.

https://comb.io/a2i6Vv

theeWeeBabySeamus

LMFAO

rockingdog

bahahaha

blaxabbath

We’re watching Haunting on Hill House.

It’s so bad I wish I had on a bowl game.

rockingdog

Clemson feeling themselves…

Brocky

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

People. There is good drinking happening in Colorado.

theeWeeBabySeamus

What does a NY Giants’ WR have to dance about?

Only one more loss this year?

ArmedandHammered

He got some really great tee time in Fla the first weekend in January?

Horatio Cornblower

Season’s over?

blaxabbath

Getting paid to play football when you’re only good enough to be on NYG?

Redshirt

Assuming ND gives him the ax, knowing how Mike Brown knows how to read Cincinnati sports fans, especially when we’re pissed off, he’ll probably replace Marvin Lewis with Brian Kelly.

JustStopDude

Fight it all you want, you got Hue Jackson for the next 8 seasons as head coach.

JustStopDude

So how many student assistants is Kelly going to murder at half time to motivate the team?
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blaxabbath

So is Kelly a good ND coach or a bad hire, historically-speaking?

Horatio Cornblower

he’s good enough to get ND in position to make the big bowls, taking advantage of their independent status and weaker schedule, but he’s not good enough to beat the Sabans and Swinneys.

Alternatively, he’s not good enough to overcome the recruiting advantages those schools have, although by most accounts Kelly has gotten more than a little leeway on some of his players when it comes to ND’s usual academic standards.

Also while he was head coach a student assistant died when a scissor lift collapsed in high winds, because Kelly wanted practice taped, and ND covered up at least one rape. So there’s that.

blaxabbath

So he won’t be looked back on with a head shake (RichRod) by ND fans…but he’s no Ara Parseghian.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Other than the rapey, killie stuff….

blaxabbath

I mean I’m the eyes of ND fans.

Horatio Cornblower

THIS NOTRE DAME-CLEMSON GAME I CALL IT THE CIVIL WAR DRAFT RIOTS, BECAUSE ANY EARLY ADVANTAGE THE IRISH HAD IS BEING STOMPED INTO THE MUD BY SUPERIOR NUMBERS!!!

JustStopDude

That’s a catch…

Redshirt

Hopefully this game will put an end to the “Let’s treat Notre Dame special because they’re Notre Dame” bullshit.

Horatio Cornblower

Arrested Development Narrator: It wouldn’t.

ArmedandHammered

Yep, the only reason I was pulling for Clemson. I swear the NCAA faked the test results to give Notre Dame a chance as they slobbered over the thought of the ratings for an ND vs. Alabama match up, plus give some validation to all the knob slobbering ND gets.

Horatio Cornblower

Georgia is better than either ND or OSU, and they’re probably better than Clemson.

Redshirt

Yup. If ND was UCF, they’d be ranked #6.

blaxabbath

I liked what I saw of Georgia in the SEC Championship.

Also, their mascot is SICK.

Brocky

Notre Dame could go 0-12 and still get a #6 ranking along with a bowl invitation l

herodotus450

Yikes. Put three nails in Notre Dame, they’re done.

Redshirt

This is getting far less plus ones that it deserves. Hopefully it will rise from the dead.

Horatio Cornblower

I’m happy to nominate it for the banner.

Horatio Cornblower

I(nri) see what you did there.

Brocky

Unfortunately, I dont get it

Horatio Cornblower

Romans used three nails to put Christ up on the cross. ND is big on Jesus.

Mr. Ayo

TD!

herodotus450

These Catholics and their Books; sure there’s some good parts here and there, but most of it is outdated and nonsensical.

herodotus450

Shit, Trevor “Martin” Lawrence is 6’6″? No wonder everyone is cumming in their pants about him being a guaranteed number 1 overall pick.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Plus his hair is FABULOUS!!!!!

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’d like to see him drinking a pina colada at Trader Vic’s.

theeWeeBabySeamus

It’s funny to me that they would show the Clemson DL who is suspended for ‘roids, flexing on the sideline.

I mean seriously, that’s awesome.

litre_cola

What a world. I can lay money on Honduran Women’s basketball should I desire.

litre_cola

Even brighter side is that professional basketball player is viable for a Honduran woman.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ArmedandHammered

The epitome of the word desultory.

Fronkenshteen

Maybe the roof’ll cave in right after I type this, but ND doesn’t LOOK like they should be a large dog here.

Fronkenshteen

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scotchnaut

I go for sleepies now. I wake up whenever.

JustStopDude

Boy either one of these teams totally look like they wont get their shit packed in by Bama.

herodotus450

First guy to touch it was out of bounds? Or does that not count on kickoffs?

JustStopDude

Clemson pregame speech….

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IM3YviFFUgM

herodotus450

Suspended Clem-zon players, suspended for cheating, still get to stand on the sideline with the team, in Clem-zon garb?