Your Very Last Regular Season Game and Corresponding Open Thread

I love rail yards. Always have. I grew up near one and as a kid and I was fascinated by all the trains coming and going north, west, east and south-bringing, well, pretty much anything where it was needed. When my work offered me an opportunity to head to Omaha for a week I played it cool while my peers shook their heads ‘no’. “Yeah, I’ll go if no one else wants to”, I said as nonchalant as I could.

You see, the largest rail yard in the world is in North Platte, Nebraska and I had to go see it. Lotsa trains going about their business and maybe a few of the folks I like as well. Excellent hunting grounds.

I got into Omaha on Saturday morning, checked into my hotel, jumped into the rental and headed off to North Platte. I took my time because I wanted to look around as the sun was setting so I ate a club sandwich with a beer. I chose the long thin filet knife because I liked the feel of it my hand. It’s probably the smallest one I own but its definitely the sharpest.

It took some time and a little bit of hide and seek with some rail workers before I spotted a small fire in the far northwestern end of the yard. I could barely make out the figure of a man sitting up against a tree working away at something in his hands.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

Turned out this guy was whittling a piece of wood with an old but big Bowie knife. “Nice knife.” “Yeah, it comes in handy sometimes.”

Sitting there in overalls and a sweat shirt, you could tell the fella was big. His hands seemed to be the size of a Grizzly bear’s paws and they didn’t have the usual shake I’ve come to recognize from his kind.

“You want somethin’?”

“Just taking a look around.”

“Well, I don’t much like people. Just cause trouble is all.”

He looked up at me and something like a penny dropped. You could see it in his expression. I was sizing him up, he realized. In a languid fashion he rose to his feet. He was at least 3 inches taller and forty pounds heavier than I was and most of that weight was in the form of muscle.

We must have looked each other in the eye for a minute, maybe more. I thought about my chances. I realized he wasn’t looking away. He held that old knife in his paw and was turning it round slowly in his palm.

“I’m sure you gotta get goin'”, he said evenly.

“It’s late”, I responded.

I took two or three steps back while looking at him and then walked back toward my rental. I could feel the sweat falling down the center of my back. My forearms were covered in goosebumps. I wasn’t scared. I don’t know what I was. Having gotten into the car I tried to pull disparate thoughts together…

I was 10 minutes outside Omaha and I pulled over to the shoulder and started slamming the steering wheel. That fucker! I didn’t know him at all but he knew me. What I was. Probably what I’ve done. He just knew. And he was ready. Never happened before and it’s never happened since. I guess there’s a first time for anything.

Fucker.

Colts/Titans:

If Eli likes little horsies then I’m going to go ahead and like them too!

No need to stand at attention.

 

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Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I’m still struggling with the idea that if the Browns don’t shit their dick early in the season, they probably win the AFC North.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about.

– Unidentified Ravens Fan

Sharkbait

If they started Mayfield week 1 I agree.

Redshirt

Plus didn’t the refs screwed them over in the tie and a loss. Turn those in a wins, and they’re 9-7.

Unsurprised

One day they’ll win it all. I’m pretty sure the entire city will collectively die when it happens, but at least they’ll die happy.

...

Browns-Lions is my dream Super Bowl.

Unsurprised

That would be the last Super Bowl

King Hippo

that would be an Owl to end all Owls.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Col. Duke LaCross

I’m into that look.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Be sure to read the fine print.
It’s on her left arm, btw.

Sharkbait

Nobody reads the terms and conditions

Unsurprised

The law doesn’t care because the law is written by assholes.

theeWeeBabySeamus

You just know there’s something written in that tat about homicide or suicide.
Hopefully not genocide.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5vyZeF_DLq4

Mother Puncher

She looks interesting and complicated

Mother Puncher

I honest to god thought Vinny’s beard was plastic wrapped around his face

Redshirt

No! Don’t take a 1.4285714285714286 score lead!

Brick Meathook

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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Sharkbait

Horrifying

Brick Meathook

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Redshirt

Good. Still exactly a 1.0 score game. Keep it that way!

Unsurprised

I miss Spain. I have to go back.

How’s the game?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Miss Spain, you say?
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theeWeeBabySeamus

(pssssst…..she used to be a guy)

Sharkbait

Worked for Mac

theeWeeBabySeamus

I think she’s hot. I’d take a run. Genetics are stupid.

Unsurprised

I don’t mind.

Unsurprised

There’s an insufficient number of autism jokes given all the train talk.

King Hippo

We’re all sensitive ’cause we is vaccinated…

King Hippo

Will nobody rid me of this meddlesome 6 seed?

JustStopDude

Titans and Colts “SALUTE TO THE DERPS”

Unsurprised

Kronos probably would’ve loved to have gravy when he ate his kids.

Mr. Ayo

The Boobs!

King Hippo

/BOING! soundtrack clip plays

Sharkbait

Deeeeeerrp

Col. Duke LaCross

Jesus Christ Tits.

King Hippo

they think we need to get our sleep?

JustStopDude

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X8p6s-XgYKQ

There are some strange videos on youtube…

Mr. Ayo

This is mesmerizing.

Sharkbait

Down on the cape for New year’s. I forgot I had a bottle of Macallan 12 here. A pleasant surprise for sure

theeWeeBabySeamus

SUDDEN CHANGE!!!!

DonT just got a raging semi.

King Hippo

the pool got awfully cold all of a sudden

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hee hee

Mr. Ayo

Dammit Hodor!

theeWeeBabySeamus

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King Hippo

How are they not going for 4th and 3 here?

Sharkbait

They called the pick six?

King Hippo

um, I guess THAT was why? 😀

King Hippo

My predicted broadcasts from last week were ALMOST right – I got the Sunday fixtures reversed is all.

King Hippo

Kind of shitty to make the 12-4 Clippers du Merde play a 10 am body clock game.

litre_cola

Thus far I nailed today

King Hippo

I like to think there are Yinzer slackjawed yokels still in Stade d’ Ketchup Heiress, chanting Let’s Go Titans in vain hope for a draw.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Those rails are rusting already.
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Col. Duke LaCross

SKELNIK!

King Hippo

Related to VLTR’s note below, my little brother was a big train guy, too. I remember when he was a toddler, he would cry when we missed/got through the RR crossing before a train came. Sometimes, my poor mom would even turn the car around so he could watch it.

I honestly have no idea how my mom never Susan Smith’d the lot of us. We more than asked for it.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I’m younger so my reference point is Andrea Yates.

Mr. Ayo

Insurmountable lead

litre_cola

Things can go right. I was up with the large child at4.. Iggles are through and GAMBLOR has been very kind. HoDOR i need you for a perfect day.

King Hippo

HAIL, MOST BLESSED AND JEALOUS LORD!

Sharkbait

GAMBLOR was kind to me today as well

Petronel

DRUMLINE WOO

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

(stuff probably changed but football-reference hasn’t updated yet)

Khalil Mack has 12.5 sacks in 13 games this year, the Raiders have 13 sacks as a team through 15 games.

Redshirt

Three teams are still alive, but only team can advance. I guess this makes this game a Double Elimination Match.

You get it? Double Elimination. D-Double…

I’ll sit in the corner and think about what I’ve done.

JustStopDude

Got to love them showing the highlight of the Colts offensive linemen blocking in the back and holding the defender.

blaxabbath

Cards postgame show: Caller references the report that McCarthy was offered full control and asks what that means, in general, about the GM Steve Keim. The broadcast team’s response? We don’t believe that report; Keim will be back.

It’s a FoxNews template applied to a football team. Shit, Redshirt will be a Cardinals fan in no time!

King Hippo

I am pleased that I was too lazy to pull up 5dimes and ML the Tits…

Mr. Ayo

J-E-S-T!

blaxabbath

Bowles is FREEEEEEE

Sharkbait

Did they fire him on the flight back?

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Yes an express from Morristown to EWR.

Sharkbait

Finally got around to reading the cable article from the early open thread. That was… Something.

blaxabbath

Cards Postgame Show: Caller literally called in and made the case to keep Steve Wills as, “What did people expect? They think this team would be good every season? Should they be in the playoff hunt every year? Like we’re so good that a coach only gets one season to prove themselves?”

Bidwill probably blew a rope that ripped through his slacks hearing that broken fan rally everyone to get around success-doesn’t-matter.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Wait, who are we running train on?

theeWeeBabySeamus

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King Hippo

My Anus Is Prepared, Lord!!!

Redshirt

(…must resist….”Your mom”….joke…..)

theeWeeBabySeamus

LOL, I’ll let her know.
Gotta wake her up first. And put her teeth in.

Oh no wait…forget the second part.

Viva La Tabula Raza
JustStopDude

Luck looks likes a WWE wrestler, 6 months after the steroid scandal and Vince told the boys no more juicing.

Redshirt

The Bucs already fired their Head Coach? Drat. And I had a “Welcome back, Koetter” joke ready to go.

JustStopDude

My train story… I live just inches from a coal yard. Basically the coal out of WVa ends up sitting next my house. Like there are 12 parallel lines.

I like it. I am used to the trains and never have to worry about new developments or anything.

The one annoying thing is that every once in a while, I have to yell at a hipster or two. I suspect that whenever Vice does a documentary on train hopping, the kids from Ashville come up to try it or some shit.

It’s fucking coal cars. There is nothing to ride. On top of this, it’s an unmanned yard so the trains start with no warning.

I’m still not sure why I am trying to save the lives of idiot hipsters.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I love trains. Go to google maps and look up 485 Quentin Roosevelt Rd 78226, that’s where my agency resides, just west of the Union Pacific switching yard. It’ really cool to go out on break and check them out. There’s one guy that goes out and gets the numbers off the locos and tracks them all over the country. I only worry that there’ll be a derailment of some tanker car containing some horribly toxic chemical that kills everyone in the building. We do fire drills and active shooter drills etc, but no hazardous chemical drills. They don’t even have windsocks; I guess they figure just to ignore the possibility and not freak everyone out by talking about it.

King Hippo

On your breaks, take lots of notes and pray to Mecca as well.

JustStopDude

Keith Urban and Blaine Gabbert.

We really going to do this NFL?

Okay… Booze and opiates it is!

King Hippo

BROTHER!!

Spur

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Redshirt

With all due respect, I propose we call Tennessee the Boobs. Because they make stupid mistakes, and you’re dishonoring Tits when you associate them with this team.

Spur

Can the Tits put up a fight?

SonOfSpam

Just gonna go with The Flow.

SonOfSpam

Any time your mom’s in the yard it becomes a rail yard.

SonOfSpam

Love the story; it really brought home how important it is to scout your skinning site first.

King Hippo

Indeed.

Redshirt

I’m rooting for at least going to OT. Then I’ll set back and watch the world burn.

JustStopDude

Well at least he can’t go to Michigan because the state basically outlawed online harassment.

Unsurprised

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ballsofsteelandfury

We’re all rooting for the tie, right?

/ducks

Gratliff

Always root for maximum chaos

yeah right

Free to good home, bad home or hell even group home.
One miserable shit awful 27 million dollar quarterback.

Fuck that dip shit asshole.

Gratliff

I don’t even know if you can find an upside. People are talking about surrounding him with better support like they didn’t pay him world beater money to lead the team. Cousins was never worth it and I can’t understand how anyone who makes these decisions could ever seriously think he was.

yeah right

He looks scared shitless out there. No confidence, deer in the headlights look. Just what you want from a starting QB.

Gratliff

Fuck, he should be. When he slapped Thielen on the back after lecturing him about how to run routes, you could see him grit his teeth and decide whether or not Cousins was going to live through it.

King Hippo

it’s almost like his nickname is apt…

SonOfSpam

So you’re saying, um, no?
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JustStopDude

Tie game and the world implodes…

...

Interestingly, the tiebreaker putting in Pittsburgh would be common games as they are 4-1 against the Bengals, Jags, Raiders, Patriots compared to the Colts’ 3-2.

Incredibly, the Colts and Steelers had identical strength of victory, which would be the next tiebreaker.

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