I hate the Cowboys. I have for quite some time. Let’s go back to the days before home computers, cell phones and social media. The written word was just beginning to take hold despite what the naysayers were nay saying. A rock applied to the head with varying degrees of force was a good enough means of communication for my grandfather and it’s good enough for me-whatever my name is! Then, as now, oldish white guys decided what was going to be placed before your eyebulbs and as far as football was concerned, they didn’t think they could do any better than the Dallas Cowboys. Little boy me didn’t know what ‘market over-saturation’ was then and still don’t now.
You couldn’t escape. Prime time TV, Sports Illustrated, Sport magazine, Inside Sport magazine-they extolled the countless virtues of a Roger Staubach, a Tom Landry, a Tony Dorsett (until he got a wee bit uppity) or a [insert white player’s name here]. I was able to free myself from the shackles of this form of mind manipulation for the most part. (I sometimes get half a chub when footage of Golden Richards is shown)
I therefore understand the hate/contempt that some have shown for the Seahawks though I don’t partake. To me, Coach Carroll is just another silly millionaire-type coach-guy that lives in a wee bubble of his own making so, whatever. He can loudly chew gum, strut the sidelines and conduct tours of Tower 6 all he likes.
Oh right-the game
Seattle/Dallas:
Gimme Kit Carson and Co. and a late field goal. No more talk of Dallas.
Conduct yourselves accordingly. To what? No idea.
Weird, running the ball inside the 5 actually works! Huh…
#RushingTruther
ONSIDE KICK TIME
Can you dropkick an onside kick?
yep
that’s not good
That’s overwhelming!
Wouldn’t you want to try the XP, just to see if he can make it?
I ONLY WANT A HOT DOG SANDWICH.
It’s still a shot if it’s slightly bigger than a shot and out of a schooner, yes?
still counts.
I’ll allow it.
Cowboys played better defense at the Little Big Horn.
Holy shit
one more incompletion = DROP KICK
Kick the field goal now!
This is all irrelevant because onside kicks don’t exist anymore.
Schiano Rule looks better every day
Guess this is both why and why not to take a knee previously.
Why for the Cow-guys no want win?
oh please let this happen
I stayed up for this? Now I hate Dallas even more.
yeah, this is like a 5am rave for you
If you were watching the game with me I’d provide complimentary amyl nitrate, in addition to the free booze and hookers of all stripes. Please chip in for the food, though.
This dude may be able to grow his hair, but he’ll always know, inside.
Will be extra special when the male-pattern baldness hits.
JUST THE EYES
Cowboys now have as many playoff wins in 22 years as the Eagles have in the last one.
They also have 5 Super Bowls, hardcore.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_hF05ik5TFQ
I’ll have to ask my grandfather what that was like
You can ask me. I’ve seen every one of them.
Also the hell that was the Mongolian invasions.
There are legitimately people who didn’t have any kids when Dallas last won who have grandkids now oh my god I am so old and life is futile
Both my kids are old enough to breed and you can just shut the fuck up right now.
petey’s penance of the super bowl goal line shitstain is to be a perpetual fuckup until the day he dies
still goin…
Tough, but fair.
So, this is a silly game, who wants to do shots?
Yes please.
Victory Shots of Casamigos. I like you Zymm
Yo
He’s The One
There are two touchdowns in Any Given Sunday made by QBs where they get flipped over into the endzone and yet somehow The Matrix was where my mind went.
So I guess I have to shift my ideal scenario here to Eagles going into Jerrahworld and unleashing the Hung One in Dallas.
How good would that feel?
It might be a bit uncomfortable. I’d prefer my first to be a bit more manageable.
Hey, bears could beat Dallas.
…. in theory
Nfl refs right now
Somehow this is all the illuminati’s fault.
Yeah boy!
I’d take 3 knees, give ’em the ball back inside the 5 with 30 seconds, no timeout, no kicker
So do you let Dallas score here, or do you try to stop them and hope for the best?
Said it before, I’ll say it again: Anthony Weiner 4 (teen inches) President. “Why the fuck not, you fucking dipshits?” would be my slogan.
Weiner/Danger 2020?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GjiSm4ZPVKM
If I was a Republican, I’d run with the slogan “Vote for someone you can admit in public voting for!”
If he spent the entire campaign with his dick out, and erect as often as possible, then I’d vote for him.
DAK! DAK! DAK! DAK!
WHEEL OF HAM!
Game. Flag. Set. Match. Dallas.
Don’t take this personally, but I am going to find you and I am going to kill you.
No offense taken! I’ve needed killin’ for a spell here.
shit, now we all will have to rub one out
DAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh goddamn it. He gets a stupid poster out of the run too.
To be fair, it’s gonna be an awesome poster.
pete carroll retire bitch
How was that not a hold?
Well, the game’s in Dallas for starters…
you’d rather be down than score!
blerrrrrggggghhhhhh
come on a TD ends this.
Sympathy flag for Seattle.
Clock?
I miss Marshawn Lynch getting a Star
Well fuck everything
Is there time?
— R. Grossman
Flag on seattle. Illegal shift
Dallas. Saw that coming as it was happening.
Fucking scabs.