I finish this intro off with 6 minutes left in the Bolts/Dead Birds game. Please Football Deity, let your glorious light shine through in this tilt in the form of touchdowns, great catches, good execution on both sides of the ball, clever play-calling and solid defense. We have been dutiful all the year long and deserve better. Amen.
TO THE GAME!
Brotherly Love/Broad Shoulders:
I hope that neither of the kickers here win the Mike Badgley of Honor Award for their actions today. I mentioned in the autre intro that the Ravens had shut opponents down over the last few games to the tune of 13 per. Dose Bears have done even better over their last four-10 points they’ve surrendered on average. This is a great time of the year to be putting the thumbscrews to hapless miscreants that happen to wander on to the turf. One caveat-Foles has over the last 3 games been number uno in passing yards, completion percentage, yards per attempt and net yards per pass attempt. He’s caught and maintained fire before so who knows how things might play out.*
*one of the ways it’s gonna play out is that the Bears defenders are going to target those bruised ribs and rough him up a little. That’s just what aggressive D’s try to do. Inflict pain.
As for the Truth Biscuit, qb’s seeing their very first playoff action (see: Jackson & Watson) usually need to get a loss under their game cups in order to understand what it takes to come out on top. If he just plays the game-managing game and stands back so that the other talent flourishes he should be okay.
Buckle up-should be a good ‘un.
WHAT
DOINK!!!
DOUBLEDOINK?
Collinsworth is one of us
ONE OF US
ONE OF US
He is? YAY! I’m no longer the most hated person here!
Holy Shit. WHY have I not realized that Cody Parkey needs to be on the Bills because then he would be BUFFALO BILL CODY PARKEY
This is hell
Narcff…..
Left or right upright?
Crossbar
Two out of three
Give me some lottery numbers.
1 2 3 4 5 Power/Mega Ball 6
WE’RE BOTH RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!
It counts!
NostraSpamus.
upright AND crossbar, mein GOTT
Hippo, place all your bets for anything ever NOW
am going with wide left.
Either way Chokelor will be appeased
This city will burn if he misses
oh my god fuck everyone
Parkey Lewis Can’t Lose
I like the end zone shot
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeek
Goffugf f fg
that is too far. He’ll miss it if they kick from there.
LOL at BE YOU. being at the bottom of the play sheet
maybe the WORST KICKER IN THE NFL
can’t breathe kill me
THAT’S A GOOD BIKKIE!
I think that Bird Corner was bagging groceries last week.
OH!
44 YARDS OF FAITH
I WILL FIGHT PEOPLE OVER TRUBISKY’S HONOR
incredible throw
i want to die
We all do!!!
Just setting up Foles to win with a 90 yard pass.
At least get in range for a FG try.
I just fucking shrieked
onononoononono
YUP, Parkey to win or lose.
YES
Godd….
THREE DOWNS TO LIVE
OH GOD I CAN’T DEAL WITH THIS
Leonard Muthafuckin’ Cohen!
*crawls out of hole with viking hat eschew* Evening gents. How fare the two teams that are the bane of my existence?
ofucofucofucofuck
Smendell Wallwood?
HOPE
“After review, the ruling is confirmed or stands or whatever. I don’t even know any more. This job is beyond me, and I’m really kind of afraid I’m gonna screw it up.”
LET’S GO *vomit*
He’s short
next weeks games gonna be 41-31
‘Hi, I know we had a nice night, but I would like to return this thing’
Oh god the nerves
Cody Parkey is the Bears last hope
lol
Thank God I’ve hit the perfect spot of drunk where I can just curl up and feel a pleasant buzz until falling asleep.
Will Cody Parkey get the chance to wear the goat horns?
CLANG
I hate everything about this game.
– Eli Manning, attempting to learn to play Settlers of Catan
Would someone please trade me some sheep?!
As long as you’re not from Scotland.
– Tim Tebow, playing Scrabble
– Bethany Hamilton, playing Twister
– Melania Trump, staring at her wedding ring
Is a referee allowed to use a ruler or a straight edge when reviewing a play?
Especially given who’s playing, seems appropriate
– nm, misremembered
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d_xnEMAdruc