Your “And Then There Were Only Three” NFC Champeenship Game Open Thread

But scrotchnat, you slur through your 5th mimosa, there’s two teams playing and four teams remaining. You can’t count worth a McFiggins! Well, you got me on the the ‘not being able to count’ observation but I will counter that I was talking about the number of games left.

Yup, that reality that everyone knows about but no one wants to address. (It’s a lot like a beautiful woman letting rip a real stinker in an elevator full of strangers) There’s only three to be played and 66% of them will be gone in mere hours. We’re winding another season down folks and much like me flexing in a mirror, it ain’t pretty.

TO THE GAME!

Ewe Bangers/Halo Huggers:

Injuries:

The Rams have not a one fella on the injury report but the Saints will be missing te Watson with an appendicitis and wr Kirkwood as well. The latter didn’t get the ball often but in five of the last seven games of the season his longest catch ranged from 19 to 42 yards and he picked up a couple of TD’s along the way.

Surprise!:

With the emergence of C.J. Anderson the Rams have morphed into something of a power running club. This is a huge advantage for The Other Sean because there is so little game film for defenders to look at and you gotta know that McVay is scribbling new plays and formations on a napkin as we speak. On top of this development is the fact that qb Goff has a solid stats vs. the Saints-he’s throwing at a 66% clip and his TD’s far outnumber his INT’s.

Scoreghazi? Nah.:

As mentioned last week by yours truly, the Saints finished up the latter part of the regular season averaging 19 a game and tossed up just 20 last week. Brees is content with Kamaro, Ingram and wr Scott moving the chains rather than looking for the big play. (though he will toss one up if it’s available-Ginn Jr. will be the one to drop it today) Witness last week when the New Orleans O took an entire quarter out of the game on that long drive in the 3rd. Also, cb Talib was missing last time these two met and Scott went off for 200+ yards against cb Peters. Talib is just as physical as Scott and should be able to push him out/off of a route or two.

Ace up sleeve:

I think the edge belongs to the Saints once again. Taysom Hill is what Tim Tebow would be if he was possessed of any humility whatsoever. Secondly, Payton’s proclivity for chancing it on 4th downs tends to pay off. [pulls stat out of nutsack] He’s gone for it 18 times this year and been successful on 15 of them. This could be the difference in a tightly-contested game.

Prediction:

That’s for everyone else-I just know this is going to be a great game. [whispers] Saints by 3.

Let’s tie one on.

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Redshirt

You can’t gain half a yard?

Senor Weaselo

Good ol’ delay of game on the chip shot making is a lesser chip shot.

Redshirt

That’s was good, though. Less of an angle.

fleshwound_NPG

now ya gotta kick it

WCS

DOINK?

...

JUST RAMMIT IN

Spur

kick it

Brick Meathook

Let’s see a tie game!

Doktor Zymm

Rams decided to try a new strategy of not being total poopy!

fleshwound_NPG

Saints are fucking the dog the same way the iggles did last week

Spur

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theeWeeBabySeamus

YOU SAID THERE WAS NO FILM IN THAT CAMERA!!!!!

makeitsnowondem

I still can’t believe Vinovich is allowed to call playoff games. He might as well be a robot programmed to deliver the wrong call.

herodotus450

if(VINOVICH)
return(!penalty_call);

fleshwound_NPG

TO shoulda been called when Goff was 30 yards away from the center

Recovery Whiskey

Goffed it

Senor Weaselo

Well that was silly.

Redshirt

Okay. First time using Hulu so I noticed it stopped the feed at halftime. While I’m PREPARING TO FAST FORWARD, is there anything I should stop and check out in the 2nd half.

Mr. Ayo

Nope.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Screen it to Gurley, plz.

Senor Weaselo

We will see this drive whether IT will or will not be RAMMED.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Time for RAAMMMMITTTT!!!!! to make some noise in the Big Easy.

fleshwound_NPG

never have owned an apple product in my life and I feel that’s one of the very few good life choices i’ve made

Gratliff

Fact: Apple IIe and iPod nano are the only two good things ever produced by that company.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

They make very fine products that people willingly pay WAY too much money for and deify to a ridiculous degree.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

To clarify, I am saying that it is good that you spend your money wisely.

Brick Meathook

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Gratliff

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Spur

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fleshwound_NPG

was about to say, if saints convert that fire wade phillips on the spot

fleshwound_NPG

tho he’s called a good game thus far, rushing 3 and having a WR kinda open for a 1st is damming

Viva La Tabula Raza

Should use “Born on the Bayou” not “Run through the Jungle” for NO bumper music.

-Jeff Lebowski

WCS

He’s still holding out hope for the tape deck with the Creedence.

herodotus450
Mr. Ayo

Someone woke BLEEERGH up.

...
Horatio Cornblower

I’m sure Jeff’s been back since; he probably only remembered to get 9 of the 16 things he needed.

...

It was a 22.2222% off sale.

Spur

Rammit Defense have to get a turnover on this drive.

Mother Puncher

Any reason for the RATM bumper?

fleshwound_NPG
...

Considering changing my argument from “Tom Brady is the male Gwyneth Paltrow” to “Tom Brady is the football Tom Cruise” as I think the latter is more damning.

fleshwound_NPG

giselle isn’t the scientology wife type, tho…she has his nuts in her purse

WCS

So, you’re saying he’ll still be playing the same role when he’s 54? FUCK

Doktor Zymm
makeitsnowondem

Tom Brady has never made anything as good as Edge of Tomorrow.

...

I did like that movie, although I wish they had retained the literally translated Japanese title: All You Need Is Kill.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Agreed, although that title is probably just another example of Chinglsh/Japlish.
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Viva La Tabula Raza

Before I knew what that movie was about, I thought it was going to be a mashup of two soap operas, Edge of Night and Search for Tomorrow. Glad I was wrong.

Gratliff

Here comes Forever Drive II

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, shit.

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LemonJello

He coulda poked her eye out!

tundrajim

Hate it when that happens.

Gratliff

Same. It gets tiresome having to endlessly apologize for my huge dong knocking shit over.

Doktor Zymm

Too bad she wasn’t holding an empty hot dog bun

Game Time Decision

Gurley with the Bettis like stat line: 3carries for 4 yards and a TD

Gratliff

Nay a horsecollar?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Not inside the pocket, no.

Spur

horse collar?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Mule turtleneck.

Horatio Cornblower

There’s nothing wrong with Todd Gurley, it’s just that McVay has a significant amount of money on the Saints.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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makeitsnowondem

Robey-Coleman is a true Patriot.

fleshwound_NPG

BLEERGH wayyy too quiet today, expecting to fill the quota for the pats later

Sharkbait

Ginn Drop??

...

Is it my imagination or does the Superdome have a nipple on it?

Spur

The Bead Gods demand it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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fleshwound_NPG

99% of Ford Escapes will never see anything other than fuckin pavement

Game Time Decision

99% of SUV’s will never see anything but pavement

Spur

A RAMMIT pick six would be great right here

WCS

Almost.

Spur

soclose

Gatoraids

That’s what Big Vagina wants you to believe

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

BIG VAGINA is just echoing what they heard on the Lifetime network.

makeitsnowondem

It’s got to be really embarrassing for a defense when Brees just decides ‘yeah, I can fuckin’ lob that ten-yard out’.

Game Time Decision

Nice to see that Sean Payton still hasn’t given nana back her glasses

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

She didn’t need them back after she fell down the stairs.

LemonJello

Yeah…”fell”…

Spur

how much sawdust is used in each Burger King chicken nugget?

LemonJello

Whatever the maximum that Trump’s USDA will allow?

Gratliff

143%

Game Time Decision

Yes

Careful with that Axe Eugene

25%, which is well within FDA guidelines.

...

So I’ve explained my theory that Tom Brady owes his longevity to keeping a little jade football up his ass during games because he’s the male Gwyneth Paltrow, right?

WCS

I read somewhere that if/when he retires, he’ll reveal he’s a Scientologist, and suddenly everything will make sense.

...

Ooooh I like this theory.

Senor Weaselo

I had my vampire reason!

makeitsnowondem

You sure as hell haven’t explained it to me.

...

Well… Tom Brady owes his longevity to keeping a little jade football up his ass during games because he’s the male Gwyneth Paltrow.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Maybe it’s a chunk of the Tesseract.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He fucks lamas.

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Spur

See, told you Rammit would give false hope

Horatio Cornblower

I mean, if you’re not going to cover the TE in the end zone I’m not sure I want you playing the Patriots anyway.

Doktor Zymm

Hey look, they’re still pretending to be competitive

fleshwound_NPG

rammit not ded yet