NFL News:
- In the wake of losing the Defensive Coordinator to becoming head coach in Miami, the Patriots have decided to turn their defense into Schiano men!
- It helps that Greg Schiano coached Bill Belichick’s son at Rutgers, along with (probably more importantly) current Patriots defensive backs Devin McCourty, Jason McCourty and Duron Harmon.
- The Falcons released kicker Matt Bryant today.
- At 44 years old, I look forward to seeing him on the Seahawks sideline this upcoming season.
- Hours after the Eagles activated the $20 million option on his contract, Nick Foles exercised his opt-out clause.
- Foles has to pay $2.0 million to get out.
- The next move is expected to be the Eagles putting a franchise tag on him, so they can keep him from going to the [Redacteds] or the Giants.
- The franchise tag will pay QBs around $25 million in 2019, so he makes $3 million just for playing this shell game if he stays with the Eagles.
Finally, in news that makes the Browns look competent by comparison, the 49ers refused to waive their territorial rights so now the Raiders can’t play at Giants stadium downtown.
- Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum continues to have a one-year, $7.5 million rent agreement on the table to host the Raiders for at least one more season.
- Mark Davis said they won’t play there because the city of Oakland is suing the Raiders.
- The City is suing because the Raiders are leaving before the renovations they demanded are paid off. They wish to recover costs.
- Mark Davis said they won’t play there because the city of Oakland is suing the Raiders.
- Also, the mayor isn’t exactly on board.
- “As far as I’m concerned, the Oakland Raiders should play in Oakland,” San Francisco Mayor London Breed said.
Update on the #Raiders stadium situation: #49ers are still not expected to waive their territorial rights for San Francisco, sources say. With the SF Mayor going public against the Raiders playing at Oracle Park, SF is off the table. It’s Oakland or Levi’s Stadium for the Raiders
— Ian Rapoport (@RapSheet) February 6, 2019
Canadian non-religious Hanukkah started today.
It lasts 28 days & nights (or until locations run out of cups), you don’t have to be circumcised to participate, and 1 in 6 people receive gifts.
Tonight’s sports:
- NHL:
- Sens at Leafs – 7:30PM | Sportsnet
- Bruins at Rangers – 8:00PM | NBCSN
- NBA:
- Wizards at Bucks – 8:00PM | ESPN / Sportsnet1
- Hornets at Mavericks – 8:30PM | TSN
- Spurs at Warriors – 10:30PM | ESPN / Sportsnet1
- NCAA:
- Notre Dame at Miami – 7:00PM | ESPN2 / TSN2
- Georgetown at Providence – 7:30PM | FS1
- LSU at Mississippi State – 9:00PM | ESPN2
- Oklahoma State at TCU – 9:00PM | ESPNU
- California at Oregon – 9:30PM | FS1
The NHL trade deadline is February 25th. The Leafs got the ball rolling, and the Predators went shopping today. The tracker is here. HOW WILL THE CANUCKS FUCK THIS UP?
Fuck. It’s cold and i’m working 10 hour days and two of those hours are for free.
From now on none of my employees are allowed to get sick.
Ever.
Another one just like it tomorrow.
Fuck.
This week bloooooows
The Vancouver Raiders has a nice ring to it.
BC Place can hold 55-60K people, Vancouver is an event town (meaning, they’ll pay obscene amounts of money) and has a solid football/NFL scene, which doesn’t matter because rich people will buy those tickets just to be seen.
Give BC Liouns ticket holders first dibs and they could see a big boost in ticket sales. Win/Win
ROAD TRIP!!
That’s a really inspired idea.
A thought about the media trying to celebrate Pelosi:
The Democrats have become such a garbage party that they have lowered people’s standards to the point that Nancy Pelosi clapping awkwardly at the opposition is seen as a major victory. Similarly to #ThePauls fans celebrating them losing close games, Democrat fans are so accustomed to major losses and capitulations, them framing minor acts as a major symbolic victory to soothe their ego and sense of value is pathetic
What? Pelosi sarcastically clapping at that turd-brain isn’t a “victory”, it’s just funny. Winning control of the House, and sending all that testimony over for perjury prosecution, and having a mechanism for getting hold of Trump’s tax returns to see just how deep in the shit he is with Russian mobsters, those were all victories.
I’m drinking a Blue Moon martini. My working excuse is “but honey, if we don’t drink the blue curacao soon, it’ll go bad!”
If you don’t drink it the terrorists win
Careful how many you have.
Once the bottle’s open, you know.
Eat my ass, Pope!
— Dalai Lama
That guy needs to be arrested because he’s clearly a terrorist
If you have a casual routine after getting home from a hard day at work, make sure you are in the right house. My neighbor still gives me dirty looks.
TBF if you looked like that woman, you wouldn’t be given dirty looks
I thought it was a better example.
Make the Raiders play out in international waters.
LA Raiders!
Make them the London guinea pig. They’re going to suck anyway.
This. I like this idea
Why risk starting up a third war with England?
Also accepted would be the monkey fight.
OH, HE AIN’T PRETTY NO MORE!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBgkH_4F_Eo
Actually, I love this idea.
I am a genius.
Give them no other choice but to play in Oakland. Alameda County then charges the following rent:
a) $10 million base fee for the season;
b) County keeps all gate receipts, parking and concession revenue;
c) Raiders pay the remaining balance of stadium renovations;
d) Mark Davis banned from stadium
Ew, Strawberry
I don’t want to know what’s in their Dark Chocolate.
My wife gave me a melatonin.
I feel like I’ve been partying with O’Kavs and Squee.
WASTED.
*Us old people take it every night.
Do you really? I heard that fucks up your sleep cycle.
Your body naturally produces melatonin, most people produce much less as they get older. If I don’t take it it makes them much more fucked up. All it does is make you slightly more sleepy, to be able to GO to sleep. If it does more than that to you you, you have a very vivid imagination.
Why the fuck would that get a down vote?
If you haven’t taken Melatonin before, you’re going to have fun.
Your dreams will be more vivid and you might be able to fully remember them.
1st time. I’ve been getting up at 2-3am for the last couple months and not able to sleep. I hope this just does that trick.
It should. Melatonin is what keeps you asleep.
If it doesn’t work, consider Unisom. I take it when my Insomnia kicks in or if I’m sleeping away from home.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bEcFkotqHg8
I’m not really into music all big or whatever but I do like Silversun Pickups.
They’re a pretty good band. I should post more of their stuff on Request Line.
Does that help make you whiter? I have no idea.
Basically they did LitreMr Coa and the border folks don’t take kindly to errors. As ciderfellowrick pointed out we cross your border here before we get on the plane. Wrong name, no flight.
Urge to kill…rising?
Someone answered me on of all platforms, twitter. She said to call at 7 am tomorrow and all fixed. Sweet. Their live chat was still going and twitter got back to me in 3 minutes. Quite pleased now.
Good job, Mr. Coa!
litre_cola’s predicament (artist’s conception)
Damn I’m old.
https://www.msn.com/en-us/tv/news/wonder-years-reunion-see-the-photo-that-proves-friends-really-are-forever/ar-BBTf7r8
Fuck.
Paul grew into his nose. It’s interesting how much different he looks while the other two just look more aged.
Well, I didn’t want to bang Danica McKellar back then. Of course Jared did, but that is a different story.
Seriously though; she did the complete opposite of a lot of child stars; props to that.
She one of the voice actors on “Young Justice”. She’s pretty good. She’s not just adjusting her voice to fit a role; she’s brings depth to her character.
I was referring more to being an intelligent, non-drug-addict who is still alive. But yeah.
Whatchu talking about, Willis?
It’s official: The Brooklyn Nets complete the season sweep over the Denver Nuggets. You heard it here first, the Nuggets are trash. A very hollow 37-17 record in my opinion.
The worst 37-17 team in the NBA.
Word
While the Nets are obviously the best 28-27 team.
YOU ARE GOD DAMN RIGHT THIS IS A NITS HOUSE!!!!
PICKERS!
My friend, they are a 29-27 team
OK, THAT is different.
Too drunk on a workday to explain how fucked up my work is….
I am ordering delivery pizza…that is how drunk I am….it will be bad…
Yes but hungover you will be really happy tomorrow morning with some grease wheel left over.
Sorry to hear that and what kind of pizza?
too drunk to remember…
Ah. Just remember when you reach the cardboard, you’ve gone too far.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you your next Republican nominee for the Supreme Court.
If it makes you feel better I wanted to go out and get Burger King tonight (because I have coupons) but was too lazy to move the trash cans out of the way so I could pull my car out.
Wait……I wanted to go out and get Burger King???
Coupons can make you fucking crazy, man.
I’d say something too, but I once took two subway stops and a two mile walk to get Taco Bell and walked five miles for Arbys so I’m permanently disqualified for making fun of other peoples dinning choices.
I eat fast food, but wanted is seldom in the equation.
I told you, I HAVE COUPONS.
Lucky you don’t gambol.
3rd party misspelled my Last name on my ticket to Colorado tomorrow. Can Delta fix it? No. Can anyone be reached at the 3rd party who supposedly has a live chat until midnight? No. Rage rising.
Hang in there, litre_coke. It’ll get better.
The good news is, you might not have to fly Delta.
It’ll make for a great story, litre_coda
Give em hell, Liter.
Alright, fine; I’ll pile on with what they do with my RL name. We’ll help you where we can Cola_litres.
That sounds rough, litre/cola.
https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/nc-mayor-praises-10-year-old-who-took-knee-during-pledge-of-allegiance-at-city-council-meeting/ar-BBTgraO?ocid=spartanntp
https://www.scoutbook.com/mobile/forums/cub-scouting/159663/pledge-of-allegiance-/
I don’t blame the Cub Scout. I blame the parents and Pack Leader for not teaching basic flag etiquette. In the name of Akela, he’s practically a Webelos!!!
Report: West Virginia Feeling Pretty Smug Right About Now
To the rim, eh? So is there a Canadian tradition to give rimjobs?
Hippo and Dok would love for Canaudiuns to give more RIM jobs
Tim Hortons sucks. The coffee should only be given as part of a prison sentence.
You sir, are absolutely correct. I prefer gas station coffee to Tim’s.
North of Edmonton I shut one down when I asked for hot sauce.
Yet again I’m stuck eating the brie that my wife buys and then forgets about completely until it’s 80% mold.
It’s more mold than cheese at this point.
And brie mold is GROSS mold, it’s not playful and fun and easily removed like regular cheese mold.
Your Typical Cincinnati February Weather Forecast: 1-2″ of rain, and then freezing temperatures. Its going to flood, and then the flood waters are going to freeze because why the hell not?
Now who wishes they lived in Pennsylvania
That’s actually in Maryland. The church that built it went bankrupt trying to build it.
Did they not try asking God for more money?
They did, but then He said they were supposed to clothe the naked and feed the hungry and care for the sick, and then they told Him to shut up and mind His own business.
They should have consulted with PETA. They’ve figured out how to make money off saving the animals.
They don’t make money from saving animals; they make money by advertising that they save animals.
See?!?! That’s why they needed ’em! Put up the sign and do NOTHING else.
I drove by it once and can only assume that I died in a fiery car crash that day and everything since is some kind of Jacob’s Ladder scenario.
/Also, makes sense that it’s in Maryland since Mary was one of the two people on the ark god bless
We drive past it every time we have to go across the state. At this rate, if it were still actively being worked on, it would take so long to complete that we’d all need starships instead (to escape the Sun swallowing the Earth when it red-giants up) by the time it was done.
We already have an Ark in Kentucky. Its next to the Creation Museum.
You cannot comprehend how much I wish I can say I made those previous two sentences up.
At least with them next to each other, you can keep all the idiots on Kentuc-
Never mind, too many idiots there to keep in one place. It will throw off the Earth’s rotation.
Too late
https://www.mnn.com/earth-matters/climate-weather/stories/magnetic-north-shifting-by-40-miles-a-year-might-signal-pole-r
I saw a documentary on it. I laughed and laughed.
Might’ve been the craziest thing when we missed our connection from Cincinnati and stayed at some hotel, pamphlets for the Creation Museum.
I love the fact that Oakland is telling the Raiders to go fuck themselves since they want out so bad.
And when Oakland tell you to go fuck yourself, that’s when it time to look into the mirror and reassess your life.
Hey, there are like forty attorneys here, if we notify our landlord of termites and he drags his feet and then the super confirms it’s termites but leaves infected wood in our apartment, are we legally entitled to seize his assets and defecate into most of them?
But seriously, document any health issues that you have experienced that may even be *potentially* related to the problem.
I’m not a lawyer, but I’m pretty certain his brake lines are cutable.
found a funny:
*during a magnitude 1 earthquake*
Owner of the Etch-a-sketch museum: no no No NO!
What the hell is happening with the elected leaders in Virginia? Does it have to get downgraded back to First Military District so the state government get it shit back together, yet again?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_Military_District
Governors of Virginia and black Americans, name a more iconic duo
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas_Jefferson
I’m expecting the fourth guy in the line of succession to have actually been *in* the KKK by this point, and then started a KKK version of the boy scouts and then molested the kids.
Well the 4th guy is a Republican, so there’s a good chance you’re right.
That’s why Democrats are nervous. If they stick to their morals, they hand Virginia to the GOP.
I don’t think they’ll turn over control; they will just cynically stagger resignations to ensure an untainted Democrat is in a position to step into the governorship. Given that with two of them it’s a moral issue (rather than a legal one) it would be difficult for Republicans to make any kind of legal challenge to it.
That political corruption!!!!!
(instantly mentally reexperiences Trumps entire political career like Trinity learning how to fly a helicopter in five seconds in Matrix)
I withdraw that statement. Please proceed.
Plus I like the fact there’s different levels of F’d Up. Blackface? Yeah, your career is done, but you at least get to go home. Lt.Gov.? That’s what you get for running past the Stop Sign and turning a Single into a Triple.
Wait. I lost track. Isn’t the Lt. Gov. black?
Gee, maybe the Democratic establishment should’ve supported the actual progressive Democrat and not this dickhead who was a Republican until election season. Nah … That’s crazy talk.
MLB is talking about some pretty radical changes to the game:
https://www.cbssports.com/mlb/news/three-batter-requirement-for-all-pitchers-universal-dh-single-trade-deadline-among-mlb-rule-changes-proposed-for-2019/
NL gets the designated hitter, but DH must use penis instead of bat.
I like that it’s a “radical” idea to MLB to have both leagues play by the same rules.
If anybody was curious (they weren’t) I am absolutely all in on the NL using the DH. Watching pitchers hit is boring and shitty, and I can’t wait to see the practice ended. Also the “strategy” element is overrated crap. How do I know this? Because the American League teams can visit a National League stadium and kick the shit out of them and the “strategy” they’ve honed for years. Holy shit, you’re doing a double switch? Slow down, Belichick. I have to study your beautiful mind.
Also Madison Bumgarner is a pretty shitty hitter when you actually look at his stats. And before Ohtani came over he was the gold standard for hitting pitchers. Put hitting pitchers into the trash yesterday.
What if instead of a DH the pitchers get to use an aluminium bat?
Or the pitchers have to use a special, softball-sized ball.
Or what if they [Baseketball Reference Not Found]
/Never saw that movie, I’m no moran
I beg your pardon.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V380-P-YyaQ
I was hoping for a Bartolo Colon highlight video.
Can we have just ONE THREAD where Mr. Ayo doesn’t start asking for colon highlight videos?
This would have been the worst way to make the banner.
It was close to 60 degrees in the city yesterday, but all told, I still think NYC is pretty cold in January and February.
Those changes don’t sound “radical” at all!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jXSUKNCNCMo
10 second pitch count. 20 is too long
IN THE NAVY!!!!!!!
https://features.propublica.org/navy-accidents/uss-fitzgerald-destroyer-crash-crystal/
“Why?”
-MCA
Something that got lost in the news (at least to me) was that Goodell said during his “State of the League” screed that the Raiders cannot move to San Diego for the 2019 season. I didn’t see any more explanation than that, but it sounds to me like ol’ Fredo Spanos whined to Goodell about his “territorial rights,” of which he has none, to nix that deal.
It’s a shame, because I was really looking forward to embracing the Raiders for a season, even if it meant getting stabbed multiple times.
I think they want to keep San Diego as Move Bait. If the existing stadium is good for a Journeyman Team, the city won’t build them a stadium for the next team whose lease is up.
SDCCU Stadium (then Qualcomm) is set to be demolished for an expansion for SDSU, including a smaller stadium for the football team, sometime this or next year. That’s not going to be a viable option beyond 2019, so that reasoning doesn’t quite work. Further, if the city wasn’t willing to pay for a stadium for the team we already had, they’re definitely not paying to attract one.
They should be a barnstorming team for 2019.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MkUgsJo7lEs&ab_channel=AdultSwim
Just got a presale notification that Lynyrd Skynyrd is playing locally. Um, who exactly is in Lynyrd Skynyrd now? Is it like Cletus Van Zant !V and Kid Rock’s cousin Blaine?
Jesus with what happened in your neighborhood I would make a point of avoiding that show. Like, maybe you want to even think about leaving town for a bit.
Holy shit. Should probably avoid the Buddy Holly Tribute act comin to town next month too.
“Oh look, honey! The Orange County orchestra* is doing the music of John Denver!”
*assumes Orange County has some kind of orchestra and does not solely consist of Dave & Buster’s franchises and BMW dealerships.
The Orange County Orchestra is mostly Real Housewives’ queefs (queeves?)
As far as my fave Southern Rock cover band are concerned, “Sometimes Y” has crashed and burned quality-wise over the last few years…
For those of you who are wondering how my back is doing, it hurts.
I climbed onto my roof, which involved actually going out through a window, to inspect and make sure there was no standing water remaining after SUPERSTORMPOCALYPSE. Thankfully, there is not. One of my neighbors had their roof fail and basically the whole front half of their house is completely fucked. I feel really bad for them.
I am glad for the piece of mind that my roof seems to be okay. A fairly large group of us are currently looking at suing the builder. Just as my wife thought she was getting out of the legal game they pull her right back in.
/looks around
(hey…were we supposed to be wondering how Rikki’s back was doing?)
/sees general confusion among the group
Um, hey! Hope your back feels better soon!
Oh, I just assumed everybody was interested in the mundane details of my life.
/it’s not my fault, none of the details are anything but mundane! It’s all I have!
Handsome Rikki became Mundane Rikki so quickly…
More mundane Dayne…Ron or Taylor?
Oh, sorry. I misheard and thought you meant “we should be considered that Rikki’s back”. My bad.
“London Breed” as a name sounds like it belongs in the AVN post and not here.
I loved his/her scene with Paris Cox.
“The scene was directed by Stan Bull-not Constance Nobel, as so many people want to believe.”
-They Might Be Giants
[debates whether to +1 this so people will think I actually understood the reference]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1whXMdsHOio?t=1m21s
What kind of Turkey wouldn’t get
/punches self in face out of principle
Oh, damnit, I get it now. I am shame.
Only solution is Hari Kari. Drink a lot of Bud and announce a Cubs game.