Cue Blax’s comment for 10 days of first rounds. But here are those long-awaited GAMBLOR Region results.

16. “THESE PROVIDENCE FRIARS, I CALL THEM LEX STEELE BECAUSE THEY ARE PUSHING THESE TROJANS TO THE LIMIT!” BEATS 1. “I keep waiting for one big hit that causing [sic] a player’s jersey to start flashing 12:00.” 21-18

8. “My name is Bond. Denied Bond. -Paul Manafort” beats 9. “Sweden: the Dante Hicks of the World Cup” 31-10

5. “As they say in Japan, a draw is like sniffing your sister’s dirty underpants.” beats 12. “This [TNF] game is the Futurama suicide booth come to life.” 23-17

4. “Man that is messed up, and right after he [Jonathan Martin] shoots Richie Incognito, I really think we need to take his guns away from him.” beats 13. “Home ice is just a cocktail awaiting bourbon.” 28-12

6. “I can’t wait for Justify to decline the upcoming invitation to the White House.” beats 11. “I guess on a night they were honoring Snider, the Flyers fans weren’t gonna take it anymore!” 18-10

3. “Kennedys don’t retire, they die in office. Am I the only one around here who gives a shit about the rules?” beats 14. “Don’t bother sucking on that pistol. It ain’t gonna get any harder.” 19-10

7. “This Hull defense, I call them Mia Khalifa because they are letting lots of men in their backdoor to score.” beats 10. “I haven’t seen an Alonso destroy a Cassel like that since the [C]atholics reconquered Spain from the Moors.” 25-13

2. “‘…the calming effect Tony[ ]Dungy had on the high-strung quarterback.’—If only he had that calming effect on his high strung son.” beats 15. “I was going to ask what’s wrong with Vikings fans, but they’re Vikings fans. It’s self-explanatory.” 33-5

And onto today’s matchups, still in the SHAN’KHOR Region.

Do the thing with the thing thing!