Your “Dull Men With Dull Minds” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL News:

  • The big rule change announced yesterday is that Pass Interference – calls & non-calls – will be reviewable.  
    • Coaches can challenge during the first 28 minutes of each half, and the booth will get the last two minutes.
      • The coaches pushing hardest for the rule were Sean Payton, Jason Garrett, Andy Reid and (of course) Bill Belichick.
    • It’s only a one-year trial, and the efficacy of the rule will be measured next offseason.
  • The next round of threatened moves will come from Buffalo as they begin the process of looking at renovating, or building a new stadium.
    • Either way they go, it looks like the added cost of a roof won’t be factored in, as they prefer the advantage of the elements.
  • Jordy Nelson has chosen to retire.
    • He leaves after 10 seasons, with 613 catches for 8,587 yards and 72 touchdowns, plus a Super Bowl XLV ring.

Finally, the Raiders are doing all they can to avoid being on “Hard Knocks”.

  • Including Mark Davis ‘jokingly’ saying he’d rather fire Jon Gruden than have to appear on the show.
    • But the league wants them, because of:
      • Antonio Brown,
      • Vontaze Burfict,
      • Chucky
      • the last (possible) season in Oakland.
  • So, here are the qualification for an organization being considered eligible for “Hard Knocks”:
    • if they have a first-year coach,
    • have played in the postseason the past two years,
    • or have been on “Hard Knocks” in the previous 10 years.
  • Under those guidelines, that makes the Raiders, Lions, 49ers, Giants, and  the [Redacteds] eligible for selection.

Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Leafs at Flyers – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
    • Rangers at Bruins – 7:30PM | NBCSN
    • Stars at Flames – 9:30PM | Sportsnet1
    • Golden Knights at Avalanche – 10:00PM | NBCSN
  • NBA:
    • Pacers at Thunder – 8:00PM | ESPN
    • Warriors at Grizzlies – 8:30PM | TSN
    • Lakers at Jazz – 10:30PM | ESPN / TSN
  • NCAA:
    • NIT Basketball Tournament:
      • Quarterfinal: Lipscomb vs. NC State – 9:00PM | ESPN2
      • Quarterfinal: Colorado vs. Texas – 9:00PM | ESPNU
  • other basketball:
    • 2019 McDonald’s All-American Boys Game – 7:00PM | ESPN2
    • G-League Playoff: Windy City Bulls at Westchester Knicks – 7:00PM | ESPNU
  • Wrasslin’:
    • Omega Man: A Wrestling Love Story – 7:30PM | TSN

The Tournament resumes tomorrow, so there will be guest authors for the open threads. LET’S SEE IF I CAN CRAWL OUT OF LAST PLACE!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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ballsofsteelandfurySenor WeaseloBrettFavresColonoscopyUnsurprisedMr. Ayo Recent comment authors
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

No one sucks more than airplane passengers during a flight delay

ballsofsteelandfury

Pfft! Amateurs!

– N. Hartley

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Ah. The gang arrives.

Fronkenshteen

Marchessault just missed a WIDE open net at the buzzer to keep Vegas from clinching a playoff spot vs the Avs.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Go Avs!

/until Seattle’s team arrives.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Fronkenshteen

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WFMU radio personality X. Ray Burns from “The Glen Jones Radio Programme” passed away last month. I just found out. He was beloved. You guys would’ve loved him. Fast forward to the 1:00:00 and 2:00:00 mark of this link. This is the first show of theirs I ever heard. True sons of New Jersey.

https://wfmu.org/archiveplayer/

theeWeeBabySeamus

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

@xmasape:

VP of MARKETING: it’s the darnedest thing – our hashtag only seems to get traction in November

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Horatio Cornblower

Great lines from “You’re The Worst’ tonight:

“Don’t lose him, I need that piece of shit to marry me tomorrow.”

“I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, when you walk down the aisle in hilariously incongruous white”

King Hippo

I’m getting so verklempt about an NIT match

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised
Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I forgot how hot Juliette Lewis was in Strange Days.

Also, congrats to Tony Dungey on his stunning come from behind victory, which reminds me …

King Hippo

AND in Natural Born Killers!

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

She’s “never stick you dick in crazy” hot in that, though.

King Hippo

on the car hood?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450
herodotus450

I say as soon as Don Cherry dies, we change the point value of NHL wins to be directly proportional to it’s position in the season. So, game 1 is worth 1 point, game 82 is worth 82. No team is ever truly out of it! Endless drama!

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Immediately after each victory the team must flip a coin at center ice to determine if the points are positive or negative. Endless drama! Fun with math!

herodotus450
herodotus450

The player with the most concussions penalty minutes on the winning team has to add his teams point total up in his head after the coin flip and if he gets it wrong the team has to move to a random city in New Mexico.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

During the playoffs, if the game is tied at the end of regulation, the winner is picked by a little retarded kid in a wheelchair in a touching ceremony at center ice with smoke and music and dramatic lighting. The losers have to walk home on their skates.

King Hippo

I’mma go make MOAR cold medicine (i) for continued good mojo; and (ii) so I don’t have to hear about Zion, Zion!, ZION!!!!

King Hippo

DAGGER! Y’all up in Yankeetown have to go to The Garden to cheer on this recluse’s chucklefuck side.

Senor Weaselo

The only reason I’ve been to the Garden In the last 15 years is they paid me to be there.
/No seriously, they did!

litre_cola

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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King Hippo

hey Jon, it ain’t gonna suck itself

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Gruden after he “puts the lotion on”

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Derek has found his coach:

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Tebow: “I’ll be your back-up Derek”

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King Hippo

Would you have Teebs?
I’d have Teebs ALL NIGHT

/maybe he’s making a skin suit out of all those Third World foreskins?

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

No, he’s sewing all those foreskins together to make a wallet. Except when you rub it the wallet turns into a suitcase.

ka-ching!

King Hippo

oh, that’s GOOD

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

Charlotte Sometimes blares from the locker room

LemonJello
LemonJello

“Would you draft me? I’d draft me. I’d draft me hard.”

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ugh, ate too much in the lounge. Damn you, free gummi bears.

King Hippo

TRUE HIPPO FACT! I was gonna bet on Lipscomb ML when State was ahead by like 5, but then I recalled that Hippo is hot today (+$600-ish)

theeWeeBabySeamus

Nice.

blaxabbath

What’s a big weekly swing to you? $500? $5000? $50,000?!

King Hippo

hee hee, weekly it tends to balance out. I don’t think I’ve ever swing more than $3k/week

King Hippo

also I actually didn’t bet much today, just was seeing the patterns more clearly than usual/good intuition (all Lesser Footy)

theeWeeBabySeamus

Lipscomb? We’re gonna lose to fucking Lipscomb….at home?

King Hippo

NIT fever, muthafuckas!!

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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LemonJello
LemonJello

“M-O-O-N. That spells nepotism.”

theeWeeBabySeamus

LMFAO….well played.

litre_cola

Sportsmanship still exists. This is a 14 year old in Turkey, but it still exists!

blaxabbath

Anti-authority PUNK!

ballsofsteelandfury

That’s awesome!

Gratliff

Goddamn, I forgot all about this one. It even got a music video featuring the DX Band Guy/Zack de la Rocha Cosplayer

Redshirt

Wow. I never thought someone slicing their bagel bread-style would unite the country in outrage.

https://www.riverfronttimes.com/newsblog/2019/03/27/the-st-louis-style-bagel-slice-is-now-our-national-shame

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yes, that needs to be stopped immediately.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

If we focused our outrage only on the serious, we’d have a collective aneurysm

litre_cola

BUT WAS THAT DRESS BLUE OR BLACK Laurel/Yanni???

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

The next time Americans focus on the serious will be the first.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Just a reminder that St. Louis is already Our National Shame. Not to be confused with Roger Goodell Is A National Disgrace.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Is Panera bread going to whack him like Pesci in Goodfellas?

Hey Alek, next time bagels are on us, sliced however you'd like. 😉 Can you DM us?

— Panera Bread (@panerabread) March 27, 2019

https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

Gratliff

Okay, this one is actually good.

Gratliff

I love Sevendust, and Chris Jericho’s entrance is an all-timer, and Sevendust’s cover of it is fucking garrrrrbage

Redshirt

This is how you know Stone Cold’s 1st Titantron as Stone Cold Steve Austin was perfect. By itself, Disturbed’s Glass Shatters is a good song. But compared to what its replaced, its seems inferior.

Redshirt

For comparison:

Gratliff

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WdlhNTMzzvw
Man, I almost forgot how WWE used to try to make genre specific adaptations of their themes to try to milk like 3 more dollars out of the fans.

Redshirt

I listed to A.O.C. completely and logically destroy a Republican that says the Green New Deal is elitist. Where were Democrats like that in the late 90s when I was young and impressionable?! Now I can’t go Democrat because my core values are already Republican. Its like trying to turn a stick-shift into an automatic. Its possible, but its a lot of work.

Gratliff

Do what all the other Republicans do and post passive-aggressive, impossibly thirsty replies to her tweets that include photos they have 1000% never even considered jerking it to.

Redshirt

“that include photos they have 1000% never even considered jerking it to”

That may take a while. I’m a covert pervert.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Or, just maybe, it’s not that much work to go Democrat when they’re the only non-nihilist party left.

King Hippo

ya, Lebowski…

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

The Democrats aren’t nihilist?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Bill and Hillary Clinton had them all killed. Look at Paul Wellstone (RIP).

Gratliff

I swear every time I turn on the radio there’s some new Disturbed song that sounds nothing like anything they’ve ever done. “here’s some new shit. It might be passable or it might just suck, but we’re gonna play it every fifth song for the next month. Deal with it.”

herodotus450
herodotus450

Lookit this guy and his fancy FM radio that plays music.

Redshirt

True story: I brought my Radio Shack Pocket AM-FM Radio with me to work, and I had two diffrent people asked me what it was.

LemonJello
LemonJello

All you early adopters…This is the only source of news and entertainment I need:
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Redshirt
herodotus450
herodotus450

Oh, the telegraph, congrats on destroying long form discourse through letter writing in this country, you sockdollager

King Hippo

sockdollager is the funniest thing I have read all week

King Hippo

I ordered a transistor radio off Amazon when there was worry about a hurricane during FOOTBAW season. I got priorities.

ballsofsteelandfury

Am I the only one here fascinated by the Brexit developments?

It’s awesome.

Gratliff

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I am the Dragon, and you call me insane. You are privy to a great becoming, but you recognize nothing. You are an ant in the afterbirth. It is your nature to do one thing correctly: before me, you rightly tremble. But fear is not what you owe me, Mr. Lounds. You owe me awe.

ballsofsteelandfury

I mean, this is going to turn the UK into Greece.

Speaking of, where’s Make It Snow?

BrettFavresColonoscopy
ballsofsteelandfury
ballsofsteelandfury

ttv.mikegravel (@makeitsnowondem) Tweeted:
It’s Greek Independence Day! We’re happy about Greece today. https://twitter.com/makeitsnowondem/status/1110319798762659840?s=17

Redshirt

The PM says she’ll will quit when Brexit is done? Nice way to guarantee lifetime tenure.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Wakezilla

“Either way they go, it looks like the added cost of a roof won’t be factored in, as they prefer the advantage of the elements.”

Ah yes, the unbeatable at home Buffalo Bills

LemonJello
LemonJello

That’s materials better used to make folding tables. Duh.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

LemonJello
LemonJello

Cooper had to help him clear his Internet Explorer history.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

But not before Peyton showed it to Olivia because that’s what older brothers do.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Anyone want to meet up at the Seattle airport for a mocktail?

litre_cola

Mocktail? Are you a Roy Rogers guy or a Shirley Temple man?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Which one most offends the Mormons?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Shit. I would if I could.

Wakezilla

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Horatio Cornblower

Speaking of brackets, which on of you assholes is behind “Sill Bimmons: The Bracket”? Because that thing is hilarious.

ballsofsteelandfury

My money is on Blax

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yes, Blax would be the 2-1 favorite on that probably.

herodotus450
herodotus450

After some extensive teh hakzorzing I have to agree.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’ll take things Donald Trump has never said for $400, Alex

theeWeeBabySeamus

It’s not me. But I do have to admit I did giggle when I saw it.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

???

Horatio Cornblower

About to try a case where the adjuster handling the file has never seen a trial before and I just know I’m going to murder her before this ends.

Someone get my Ray Lewis’s attorney, and not the one who represented Hernandez.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

You don’t need a criminal attorney. You need a criminal attorney.

You have my contact information.

Wakezilla

Pass Interference – calls & non-calls – will be reviewable, eh? You have not lived until you have had a championship decided on multiple reviewable PI calls, and not the actual play on the field. This is also followed by the media sucking off the league by justifying the rule.

Fans of the CFL know what I’m talking about.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[laughs at N.C. State being in the NIT]

[realizes that UConn wasn’t even invited]

Horatio Cornblower

Not invited? I think they were actively shunned.

theeWeeBabySeamus

HEY!!!!! WE WIN TONIGHT AND WE’RE IN THE FINAL FOUR OF THE NIT WHICH MEANS WE’RE…..

….no worse than the 72nd best team in the country.
OK, I see your point.