NFL Nuggets:
- The AAF might die as early as tomorrow.
- It comes down to the league wanting to use bottom-roster NFL players, but needs an agreement with the NFL, who needs agreement from the NFLPA to allow such a deal to go forward.
- Forbes is on board, writing a pressure-piece highlighting how recently overlooked guys are getting the second (or so) chance they need to try & work their way back towards the NFL, and lamenting why the NFLPA won’t get on board.
- For the union, it comes down to player protection, something the League’s majority owner overlooks when he describes his vision for the AAF:
- “If the players union is not going to give us young players, we can’t be a development league,” Dundon, who in February pledged to incrementally invest $250 million into the AAF, told USA Today.
- It comes down to the league wanting to use bottom-roster NFL players, but needs an agreement with the NFL, who needs agreement from the NFLPA to allow such a deal to go forward.
- Calling it “due diligence”, the Raiders are working out Kyler Murray in advance of the draft.
- When asked for comment, Derek Carr refused to open his door & instead blasted some Nick Cave.
- BIG BEN GO NO MORE ON RADIO!
- He is considering ending his local radio show, in part because his comments on that show had impact on the Steelers vis-a-vis Antonio Brown & Le’Veon Bell.
- A fact Mike Tomlin would likely appreciate.
- He is considering ending his local radio show, in part because his comments on that show had impact on the Steelers vis-a-vis Antonio Brown & Le’Veon Bell.
- Julio Jones is looking for a contract extension.
- Mostly because, thanks to when he signed + recent contracts to other upper echelon receivers, he has dropped to the 11th highest paid.
- Per ESPN, “Jones’ current average of $14.25 million per year is 11th among all receivers. Cleveland’s Odell Beckham Jr. tops the list at $18 million per year ($65 million guaranteed).”
- They speculate $20 million isn’t all that far-fetched, especially when you consider that “far” & “fetched” aren’t two words in the Matt Ryan throwing catalog.
- Per ESPN, “Jones’ current average of $14.25 million per year is 11th among all receivers. Cleveland’s Odell Beckham Jr. tops the list at $18 million per year ($65 million guaranteed).”
- Mostly because, thanks to when he signed + recent contracts to other upper echelon receivers, he has dropped to the 11th highest paid.
Duke’s immolation of most people’s brackets inspired plenty of people on Twitter yesterday, including one handsome former Major League umpire of note:
Man, Duke lost. Yankees lost. The Lakers shut down LeBron.
Tough time for Cowboys fans.
— Enrico Palazzo (@Enrico_Palazzo_) April 1, 2019
and got me to ask Low Commander to add another [DFO] original to the canon, which became the banner pic. I have attached it far & wide today to try & drum up page views.
Tonight’s sports:
- NHL:
- Capitals at Panthers – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
- Avalanche at Blues – 8:00PM | NBCSN
- Oilers at Vegas – 10:00PM | Sportsnet
- MLB:
- Cubs at Braves – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
- Orioles at Blue Jays – 7:00PM | Sportsnet1
- Giants at Dodgers – 10:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
- NBA:
- Magic at Raptors – 7:30PM | TSN4
- Heat at Celtics – 7:30PM | NBATV
- NCAA:
- Men’s:
- CBI Basketball Tournament: (best of three)
- Finals Game 1: DePaul at South Florida – 7:00PM | ESPNU
- CBI Basketball Tournament: (best of three)
- Women’s:
- Women’s Basketball Tournament:
- Baylor vs. Iowa – 7:00PM | ESPN2 / TSN
- Notre Dame vs. Stanford – 9:00PM | ESPN2 / TSN
- Women’s Basketball Tournament:
- Men’s:
- WWE:
- Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
- It’s the last RAW before Wrestlemania this Sunday. This show will bring most of the rest of the card into shape.
- Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
I hope you enjoyed April Fool’s Day. I returned to a classroom of broken windows, thanks to weekend vandals. NOT FUNNY!
Sonofabitch what did I just say?
LOW AND AWAY!!!!!!!
Low and away, low and away.
Seems the Orioles have them right where they want them.
Uh huh
Welp, this is the end of my participation tonight. Later, Taters!
You have a very attractive hiney.
Thank you.
Goddammit Chris Davis, how can you let that pitch go by.
You suck.
David Hess getting pulled, but listen…
A heckuva performance. He’s leaving in the 7th with a no hitter intact. 1 walk vs 8 Ks.
And pulling him now is the right move.
Still 6-0 Orioles.
Wait…this is the Baltimore Orioles making smrt decisions?
And Araujo comes in and gives up a dinger.
I hope someone else is warming up.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sVu4B0i5yV4
He also has very pretty eyes.
What is it, every team takes a no-hitter into the 7th against the Jays?
/Until Vlad Jr. comes up of course
Pulled at 80 pitches? Is he coming off an arm injury or something?
You think with an six run lead, you’d give him a chance.
Not sure. Looked like he was missing high in the strike zone suddenly. Fatigued.
I woulda pulled him too.
Diving catch by Judge… and HOLY SHIT NOBODY GOT HURT.
No seriously, the injury situation is so dire that someone pointed out that even the Kate Smith recording of “God Bless America” didn’t play, the organist played it instead. (I heard it loop yesterday.)
Honestly, it really annoys me when a hitter can’t be disciplined. They’re rolling the shift on you, just wait an extra half second and go the other way you fucking idiot.
“You want me to make contact? Are you sure?” -Chris Davis
Conan is more jacked that I expected
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/03/29/world/europe/garfield-phones-france.html
Fantastic.
*she is much worse
I watched 2 minutes of the Jays game and am pleased that my baseball watching quota for this season is now been fulfilled. And that base runner was safe on second
Cats are dicks.
I didn’t know Tom Meyer was a bowler.
I’m still laughing. Now because the advertisements at Rogers Centre….Blue Jays’ home stadium….there’s Tim Horton’s ads fucking everywhere. I mean hell, reduce the price of your doughnuts and stop spending so much for advertising in Toronto FFS.
A bull snuck up on him. A bull!
GIF is kinda big, but amusing.
h
ttps://media.giphy.com/media/GMopwPG4vUYP6/giphy.gif
I haven’t seen someone so aggressively fuck a dog since Man’s Best Friend.
This is the last year my Rangers/dirt Cowboys play at The Ballpark and to celebrate the home pitchers are giving everyone over the home run plenty of opportunities for game used balls
I don’t mean to be offensive but introducing video replay to baseball has retarded the game even more than it is already.
In both senses of the word.
also Hippo still says Disabled List and MLB can fuck right off
My dogs were never allowed to stay indoors without a human presence until they were finally too old to go counter surfing.
“It’s called the differently abled list, you monster!”
-Rick Ankiel
Seems kinda rude, but I don’t know birds semantics.
Perhaps a usual Monday.
I won’t pretend to understand Brexit since even the British government barely pretends to understand Brexit, but there are few things I enjoy more than watching a national leader fail objectively over and over again. Like, dipshit failsons running countries is nothing new, but May being rebuked on basically every word she says by roughly her entire country is fantastically entertaining. They’re gonna have to declare themselves a Roman territory again at this rate.
“She’s fine.”
– NFL “independent” concussion specialists
“SIGN THAT DOG!”
— Mike Brown
[discreetly hands the dog a $100 bill]
– Gregg Williams
Oh so, like, a fourth reich?
She’s gonna have to run naughtily through a lot of fields of wheat to unwind from all of this stress, that’s for sure.
I’m hoping this leads to Scottish Independence because Charlie Wild Card Bitches!
also that teh Irish start returning to they roots with car bombing!
I’ve been enjoying the Speaker of the House of Commons yell ORDER constantly
I just love how she puts the same exact deal on the table and hoping the MPs will change their minds.
The one after everybody wanted her to leave, so she said if they voted for it, she’d resign, and then they all voted no again, was easily my favorite.
https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2019/world/europe/what-is-brexit.html
The EU has given them about a million outs. Now they know exactly what will happen as far as trade and travel restrictions go when they leave. They also know that hostile foreign agents had a possible influence on the earlier referendum so it was possibly compromised as well. What exactly, other than dumb pride, is stopping them from re-doing the vote, which is one of the myriad of options the EU has given them?
Huh. If you had told me in advance that you were going to post a gif of a woman’s head between a pair of thighs munching something, I’d have assumed it was going to be NSFW.
/suddenly hungry for cereal
OMG!!!! another….
My senior senator, and the only person on earth that actually likes Ted Cruz, ladies and gentlemen!
/didn’t vote for this asshole
LOL!!!! I love the internet…..
LOL!!!! Bahahahah!! This guy….. wow!
I’m sorry, but I’m giggling again. This reminded me of Jim Valvano….
https://www.cbssports.com/college-basketball/news/john-calipari-kentucky-agree-to-contract-extension-allowing-him-to-finish-career-with-wildcats/
That book contained the quintessential V anecdote of him asking Lenny Wirtz – “Can I get a technical for what I’m thinking?” He says “Of course not, Jimmy.” V says “Well, I think you suck.”
V writes “And he gave me a technical. You can’t trust ’em.”
Hehehehe.
Legal hit.
Video Replay Challenges in baseball really suck.
nhl.corm says that all the games for the rest of the season are streaming free, but it’s lies, all lies, damn dirty lies!
“Goddamit, that would’ve been par!”
Her name is Mulligan.
“I’m Gonna Git You Sucka” is one of the best comedies ever made and I don’t know why people don’t seem to remember it.
Also, Hollywood Shuffle. Maybe people just don’t like to talk about the late 80’s in general.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KfWc47SEPA0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EdjnvVBECcA
death by Too Many Gold Chains
I absolutely love that movie.
“I WANT THIS SHIT CLEAN!”
I’d also like to point out that the Orioles are blanking the Blue Jays 5-0 currently.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGXzlRoNtHU
Haha, you fools! I’ve entered all the banner comment bracket entries into my advanced Deep Machine Learning AI (TM) Special Needs Nural Network and generated a model capable of automatically generating an UNLIMITED number of guaranteed banner comments. Let’s give it a try…
[lots of beeping and booping commences]
And here we are: “Bad command or file name.”
Heh. Well, I don’t get it, but that must mean it’s a really good one.
It’ll meet “Unexpected token ‘}’ in expression or statement.” in the Final Four.
404 Not Found seems like a contender
Just flipped past “I’m Gonna Git You Sucka” and noticed that the little girl being raised by the Black militant dude grew up to be the granddaughter in Jurassic Park.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9L4UrVm8Cg
My Reds just had a four-man outfield for a batter. He still got a base hit to RF.
who’d ya shift? Peraza?
Not sure, but that would sound right.
found a funny:
Wife: could you just run to the-
Edward Scissorhands: you want me to WHAT
/voice-over
For this joke, the part of Edward Scissorhands was played by Augusten Burroughs
Huh. I would have gone with Michael Irvin.
Kyle Hendricks is gonna be SHITTASTIC over the course of that contract extension. Chi**** has the largest, most expensive collection of #4 starters in EVAR.
So is Anna.
I would have thought the aging curve was MOAR friendly to uber-skinny white girls?
Shit, I meant Christina.
yeah that back gon’ HURT
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5F6dXcW-_Fc&ab_channel=karena
One of the best interviews ever.
I wonder how many spaghetti trees Yeah Right has growing on his balcony…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVo_wkxH9dU&feature=youtu.be
I did a variation of this with my 3 and 5 year old’s. I suggested hot dogs for supper and took them out to ‘the weiner tree’ in the backyard to see if they were ready for picking. I grabbed them off some thin branches and asked the boys to smell them and tell me if they were ripe or not. The oldest was a bit wary but the wee guy was all-in.
“That’s a waste of some future switches.”
-A. Peterson, warming up his “good” arm
S’morioles are, by far, the worst Girl Guide cookie.
picking the feathers out of one’s teeth after a shame binge is totes gross, too
Used my extra day off to tend to some much delayed business but also visited El Segundo Brewing Company’s new pizza joint, the Slice and Pint.
Holy shit folks this place is fucking delicious. That’s a keeper.
“Extra day off? You’re not holding up your end of the contract, citizen! You’ll be docked 6 life units.”
-Corporate-bot
There are few things better in life than what is simply a pizza and a beer.
That was like 40% of my diet in college.
They’ve only been open a few weeks and they are delivering a pie with one of the best crusts on the planet. You’ve got to try this place.
Wilco
A long-time Hippo Dreem was realized today, when Yadier Molina played an inning at 3B for Most Glorious el Beisbol Cardinals.
Sadly, he received no fielding chances, and part of me will always hate John Gant for that.
WrestleMania should be two days long. An 8-10 hour show is fucking stupid.
– Asuka, while discreetly asking for Cody Rhodes’s phone number
I’d just like to point out that right now I’m in 2nd place in the bracket challenge….but I am going to win.
Just because.
All of you who picked Duke as your nat’l champion….
picking them unanimously and having the jinx factor pay off like that?
WORTH IT.
/I also have bets on the Redshite to win the EPL and Champions League, hoping they will stumble in the most agonizing possible fashion
Oh don’t get me wrong. Seeing them lose crushingly, especially to Sparty, was the best thing ever.
UVa gonna cut nets though.
Defense wins championships.
And if UVa has a fuckup, I hope TT takes it.
I am fine with any of the 4 winning. Less so with Team Child Rape (#UsToo), but still.
I’d actually like to see it go Guns Up.
Will you, though?
We’ll see. If UVa or TT wins in the semis, I think I’ve figured it correctly that I can’t lose.
I can somehow still finish second if it’s a Sparty Party.
Look, ma, I’m somewhat competent!
Ron Howard: He wasn’t.
right behind me, as always.
/hey stop that
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxUATkpMQ8A
I would like to announce that I am leaving Door Flies Open. I…
(cheers break out, streamers and confetti drops from the ceiling)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3GwjfUFyY6M
Well this April Fools Joke backfired on me.
Hee hee
Just kidding…you know I love your right leaning asshole.
/lean right a little
//damn, i missed
I’ll bet they name their first kid ‘Malocclusion’…
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6873751/Indianapolis-Colts-quarterback-Andrew-Luck-marries-longtime-girlfriend-Prague.html
No Hodor Jr.?
The rest of the Amish community can call him, “Hoju.”
Prague is such a weird name for a woman.
Did anyone other than alcoholhumanrob’s students play any hilarious pranks today? I convinced my wife that the dog had managed to undo the latches on her crate, but that was it. Oh, and my hangover tricked me into thinking it wasn’t going to be all that bad. He really put one over on me!
I do nae participate in, nor do I appreciate, April Fool’s jokes.
Yes, I am very much no fun.
/remember, I also hate Halloween except for elementary-aged kids
Spotify set my Discover Weekly to disco tunes, which was a decent prank except one of the songs was a cover of I Will Survive by Cake, a tune I enjoyed too much back in the day.
Senators are currently warming up for their re-enactment of Vonnegut’s “Slaughterhouse 5 to Nothing” off-off-Broadway play.
I wish they were warming up for a re-enactment of Shakespeare’s “Julius Caesar”…wait, which Senators are we talking about?
Forgot to post this in the Banner tournament thread this morning:
You spelled ‘barely tolerate’ wrong.
I’ll take it!
it is indeed my highest aspiration in life to one day be barely tolerated
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d1vSlNz0PaA&ab_channel=AnnaKalaa
you were watching teh based balls? 😀
#BFIB4lyf
Definitely sums up my feelings on the Dirt Stillers’ bullpen.
dunno why, but Birdos and Dirt Stillers play the longest and weirdest ballgames – especially in PIT
In all serious, I don’t understand why y’all would have Kevin Newman up in the majors, but not start him and stabilize that shitty defense.
Could be our sides are fighting it out for 4th this season.
A Dodger fan is in intensive care after a fight at the Stadium, so we can now truly say that baseball season has started!
/Checks New Castle score
God damnit Bar codes, you had one job and that was to beat the Arseholes. Fuck
you wanted Redshite to win on Sunday, you gets teh Karma you deserve