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Your Monday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

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NFL Nuggets:

  • Years of defending the Patriots opposite Tony Dungy have paid off for Rodney Harrison, as he was fan-voted into the Patriots Hall of Fame.
    • He will receive the honour at a likely NBC televised games later this year.
  • The Panthers’ Hall of Fame will also be increasing its numbers – in this case from 1 to 5.
    • Joining Sam Mills in Carolina’ Hall will be wide receiver Steve Smith, quarterback Jake Delhomme, offensive tackle Jordan Gross and tight end Wesley Walls.
  • The XFL will be airing its product on ABC, ESPN, and Fox.
    • The XFL will kick off on Saturday, Feb. 8, 2020.

Finally, it looks like there might be another inmate for the Alameda Asylum.

  • The Raiders are apparently working out Richie Incognito.
  • When asked for a response, because the world is nothing but pain, Derek Carr reportedly locked his front door & began blaring Velvet Underground from his speakers.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pMuAgsZ2oo

Tonight’s sports:  

  • NHL:
    • Bruins at Blue Jackets – 7:00PM | NBCSN / CBC
    • Sharks at Avalanche – 10:00PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet
  • NBA:
    • Bucks at Celtics – 7:00PM | TNT / TSN
    • Warriors at Rockets – 9:30PM | TNT / TSN
  • MLB:
    • Twins at Blue Jays – 7:00PM | Sportsnet1
    • Phillies at Cardinals – 8:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
  • WWE:
    • Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360

A good night for some games. Kick back & enjoy, my fellow commentists.

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blaxabbath

Is Delhomme really franchise HOF material?

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Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Go Avs…….

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Who’s a good boy? You’re a good b……OWWWW MY BALLS!!!!!!!!

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I look forward to Richie Incognito being tolerant in Las Vegas

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Haha….suck it San Jose.

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Brick Meathook

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Mr. Ayo

The world is flat.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Well, at least the parachute opened.
Wait, whut?

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Brick Meathook

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Overtime music for the Avs.
They almost had it….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UNbOr0ylYZk

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Mr. Ayo

Free hockey!

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Holy hell, I looked away for a minute and SJ tied it up?????

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Mr. Ayo

The Avs might be in trouble.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

That’s what I get for looking at Colbie Caillat I guess.
But worth it.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

. . . and then they made him pay for the damage to the camera lens.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Colbit Caillat is a very attractive human being.
Just saying…..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KU5o6M7S5nQ

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Mr. Ayo

She seems nice.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I bet she smells nice too.

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Mr. Ayo

I’m sure she feels nice to the touch too.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

That’s a very good point also.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

For a 1950s B-movie that giant spider explosion is pretty good. That was all done optically.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Better than a lot of current CGI stuff too.

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Brick Meathook

If you ever wondered what it would look like right before Jerry Lewis got his head blown right the fuck off while talking on a fruity old telephone, it would probably look very similar to this:

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We’ll never know because Jerry Lewis is now dead from non-shot-in-the-head causes.

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Unsurprised

Split for size.

h

ttps://i.redd.it/0helwnk81pw21.jpg

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That’s good work by Houston to no blow a ten point lead in the final two minutes!

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Mr. Ayo

Time to tune into the last half hour of this NBA game!

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Mr. Ayo

Best of 3. Dubs are done.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

38 seconds actual clock time?

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Mr. Ayo

Surprisingly, this was a full 2 minutes of clock time.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I made enchiladas tonight. My mistake was using the chili powder from the Indian grocery store when I made the sauce. It’s not like other chili powders. Senor Weaselo would probably scoff at my assessment, but it’s really damned spicy.

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Unsurprised

Enchiladas rule.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

These were disappointing because they were too spicy to enjoy. Maybe if I’d had some sour cream they would have been better.

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Unsurprised

Nuts.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

No shit….when I put the Carolina Reaper seeds in the soil (Senor’s late summer reap later this summer) I had only touched two of them, then rubbed my eye without thinking.

I thought I was gonna die.

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Unsurprised

OMG. That sounds like Hell.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I didn’t cry. YOU cried.
OK, I cried…a lot.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

At least you didn’t jerk off while no thinking.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Always preserve the foreskin.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Reaper pepper penis.

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Unsurprised

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Nice buns.

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Unsurprised

I wish she never got implants, but even then her face still looks too symmetrical and finely-featured to think she’s human and this is even though I know better.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

So, the Avs are trying to screw this up…again.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Enough with the Avenger spoilers already!

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Mr. Ayo

Avs!

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Mr. Ayo

Dammit!

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Mr. Ayo

Avs! Never a doubt!

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Heh heh….it’s a funny name.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bEghu90QJH4

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Unsurprised

It’s a shame Norm got fired before they could get Burt Reynolds on to join him on a Celebrity Jeopardy skit.

1
Unsurprised

I forgot to check but the third and final Eats Cinco de Mayo video went up yesterday.

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Mr. Ayo

This Mayo just went up too.

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Unsurprised

Video with less compression artifacts.

https://giant.gfycat.com/EminentFastAmazontreeboa.mp4

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theeWeeBabySeamus

9/10…..Would be willing to eat her enchiladas.

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Wakezilla

She seems friendly

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s really fucking weird to see Emily Deschanel in ads for TNT’s Animal Kingdom show.

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Senor Weaselo

Everyone uses that Joe Satriani song for goals/homers. You know what I would do as the audio guy?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TmpRs7xN06Q

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SonOfSpam

WCS downstream (giggity) made a comment about Wheel…did you guys catch it on Friday? A woman had this puzzle (theme: In The Kitchen)

ELECTRIC
COFFEE
_RIN_ER

“Pat, I’ll solve: ELECTRIC COFFEE DRINKER”

It was awesome.

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Mr. Ayo

Haha. Obviously it was PRINTER

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I would have rocked it on Jeopardy tonight.
You know, if like I could have buzzed in on time.

WHY ISN’T THIS THING WORKING?????

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Senor Weaselo

You’re a teacher? (It’s the Teachers Tournament.)

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SonOfSpam

(SSSSHSHHHHHHHHHHHH YOU’RE GONNA RUIN HIS FRAGILE EGO)

No, it was actually the Super Mensa Tournament. We all love to watch the Menses!

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Senor Weaselo

As opposed to the Super Mensch Tournament. The Ubermensch Tournament, if you will.

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SonOfSpam

Please keep your Zionist game show fantasies to yourself. This is strictly a Zoroastrian site.

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Senor Weaselo

I thought that was Zorro-ass-trian. In that we like Zorro and butts.

We do like Zorro, right?

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SonOfSpam

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I was at one time, actually. Moreover, I was disappointed they’re doing this and have temporarily kicked that other dude to the curb for two weeks.

I coulda kicked his ass tonight.

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SonOfSpam

Cocaine is a hell of a drug.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Seriously though. Usually my brain works too slow these days. But I was nailing it tonight. I even knew the “Poets” final Jeopardy. I was smart tonight.

Tomorrow, probably not.

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SonOfSpam

Two roads diverged in a yellow (heh heh) wood (giggity)

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Of course, if I was on there they’d have DQ’d me.

Who the fuck is Robert Frost? WHAT I PHRASED IT AS A QUESTION YOU CHEATING FUCKERS!!!!!!!!!

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SonOfSpam

They actually give you the first word on Final. So you know if it starts “Who” or “What” or whatever. WHICH TOTALLY HELPS.

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BugEyedBoo

Q: In this film, Lou Gossett Jr. drills Richard Gere & Debra Winger thrills Richard Gere

Somehow managed to not answer, “What is ‘An Officer and a Gerbilman’”

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Hehehehe

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BugEyedBoo

It’s mostly about the buzzer and Final Jeopardy. They don’t even let you on there unless you know most of the answers.

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SonOfSpam

Yes, sometimes it’s helpful to print your coffee. You must have a newer model.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

ACTUALLY I AM MORE OF A VISCERA SMOOTHIE DRINKER!

[cranks out the riff from “Thunderstruck” on air guitar]
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SonOfSpam

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Unsurprised

LCSS trying to get everyone in the right key for the BOLTMAN! summoning song.
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theeWeeBabySeamus

So, now I have to root for the Carolina Hurricanes. DAMMIT COLUMBUS!!!!!!! You had one job!!!!!

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Unsurprised

— Queen Isabela upon realizing that he didn’t find a direct route to India.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

LOL, that was funny.

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Unsurprised

The last time people rooted for Carolina hurricanes was when the people of Georgia prayed for rain to put out the fires from Sherman’s March to the Sea.

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Unsurprised

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Unsurprised

Shazam was fun.

Spoiler

Superman showing up at the very end to have lunch with Shazam/Billy and Freddy was a fun and genuine surprise.

Also, I think it was the Nicolas Cage Superman costume from the doomed Superman Lives movie.

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Unsurprised

Lots of nice women, too. Michelle Borth, Marta Milans, Caroline Palmer, Meagan Good.

As an aside, it’s kind of funny that D.J. Catrona was in this since he was originally going to be Superman in the George Miller-directed Justice League that was killed just before filming began a decade ago.

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Wakezilla

DJ Cotrona is a handsome dude who I can only see as an anti-hero like Gordon Gecko, not Superman.

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Unsurprised

I can see that.

Spoiler

He plays the superhero version of another member of the Marvel family. Specifically, he’s Pedro Marvel, the “best version” of Billy’s fat Mexican foster brother.

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Unsurprised

Feel free to bing those ladies. Make sure SafeSearch is off. Maybe add “sexy” or something.

1
Senor Weaselo

We are all Canes fans. Well, that’s simple enough.

2
Sharkbait

Anything to piss off Don Cherry

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Mr. Ayo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qdJp5-g69go

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Sharkbait

Never gets old.

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Dunstan

Also a classic:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=38cBNIPnlX4

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Wakezilla

PK is great, but I’m still feeling triggered seeing Strombo there. Fuck he was terrible.

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herodotus450

“I’ll be right there… Wait, ‘off’?”
-Donald T.

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herodotus450

Well hopefully the Blue Jackets are happy with their first ever playoff series win, 4 of their best players probably leaving for nothing in free agency, and all the scouting expenses they’ll save by only having two draft picks this year.

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herodotus450

Blue Jackets shouldn’t have believed that note that got slipped under their locker room door that said the post counts as a goal that was written on Bruins letterhead.

1
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

I very much want that banner pic on a tshirt.

1
Sharkbait

Evening people. Currently updating my resume because there is a not zero chance my job might be outsourced!
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herodotus450

They’re outsourcing instagram hoes now too?

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Brick Meathook

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Unsurprised

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herodotus450

Not sure why hockey isn’t more popular, it’s got everything! Like bullshit calls that always seem to end up favoring Boston.

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Senor Weaselo

I’d make a list of all things I’d root for over Boston, but I’d get pinged by federal agencies.

1
Beerguyrob

For those who need to know, Raw has started with 25 minutes of talking – for some reason, fifteen of it by guys from Smackdown.

0
Senor Weaselo

In response to my early post, Sterling didn’t have one because apparently it was too much to believe Thairo Estrada was going to hit a home run.

0
Horatio Cornblower

I’ll allow it.

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herodotus450

This guy Pierre Luc DuBois I call him W.E.B DuBois because he’s… a guy… that I’ve heard of… and he did stuff. Possibly racist stuff involving movies.

1
Unsurprised

It turns out Richie Incognito was lurking here the whole time.

2
rockingdog

found a funny:
Lord of the Rings: the Fellowship of the Ring gave us multiple beautiful melodies in one movie, and Marvel couldn’t give us one memorable theme in almost a decades worth of movies.

1
Beerguyrob

But they did bring out The Kinks “Supersonic Rocket Ship”.

0
Unsurprised

I need to get more food in my kitchen, especially ingredients so I can make my own pizza and Sunday Gravy meals instead of store-bought crap and my sad routine of oatmeal, stir fry, and junk food.

1
Wakezilla

I watched Endgame last night. It was painfully convoluted and you probably could have had the same movie with an 1h45 runtime, as opposed to their 3h and 05 minutes run time.

The ending was really stupid and becomes even more stupid when you think about it. There were some cool moments though.

Endgame is easily In my bottom 5 MCU films.

You can easily wait to watch this on Demand

1
Gratliff

Counterpoint: The big portal scene requires a theater experience and I want the big charge to be my wallpaper. Not like, desktop wallpaper, like I want it to completely cover my house.

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Wakezilla

That was cool. But, the time travel stuff was awful

0
Unsurprised

Agreed. It’s so bad.

0
Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Spoiler
It’s even worse when you realize they literally just invented a way to change anyone’s age using the poorly explained time travel mechanic, basically undoing the reason for Old Balls to leave in the first place.

2
Wakezilla

That’s what I don’t get…

Spoiler

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Gratliff

How to work with spoiler tags?

0
Unsurprised

Use line breaks to make sure the spoiler tags are their own lines separate from everything else. The spoiler goes between them, not in the quotation marks in the opening spoiler tag.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Eh. I thought it was fun.

3
Ian Scott McCormick

That’s the correct answer. End Game was a satisfying ending to a 12 year buildup, that has seen multiple directors, writers, producers, using characters that comic book dudes were just itching at the chance to get very upset.
End Game could have suuuuuuuucked. And yet it was good.

3
Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Man, how sad have the cast of Panthers quarterbacks been that they’re going and putting Biscuit Justice Delhomme in their team Hall of Fame? Dude’s got 125/101 TD/INT, career. That’s like if the Jets didn’t have Nameth, so they just threw Sanchez in theirs because he was on the team when they made the playoffs a couple years in a row.

0
Unsurprised

Time to unwind.

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4
WCS

This woman on The Wheel is ragequit inducingly stoopid.

0
Beerguyrob

Not for nothing, but John Tortorella sounds like a wrestling manager during his interviews.

2
Senor Weaselo

Thairo Estrada just hit his first career home run. We’re trying to find John Sterling’s (no doubt atrocious) home run call. Right now the worst idea we’ve come up with in the Weaselo household is “Thairo hits a bullet over the wall!”

/The joke is he got shot and had a bullet lodged in his hip.
//The other joke is he STILL spent less time on the DL/IL than Jacoby Ellsbury

0
herodotus450

“Thair-o it goes-o”?

0
herodotus450

smh these Blue Jackets can’t even get a veteran from the Civil War unit they’re named after what do they hate america for?

0
herodotus450

…and tight end Wesley Walls.

Love that dude but then he got too popular and everyone put him on at every party and ruined him and his whole band of brothers.

2
herodotus450

…and tight end Wesley Walls.

Opposing teams’ defensive coordinators always said to their teams before facing the Panthers, “they love to use him as a decoy in the red zone, so don’t go chasing Wesley Walls.”

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