I’ve said it before – I’m not a basketball fan. I don’t “hate it”; I just don’t find watching a whole game enjoyable. I can handle a few minutes near the end of a half or game, but – even during the Madness – you’re going to be hard-pressed to make me sit through an entire half. Especially sober.
I’m also not a fan of most modern hip-hop, or “the rap music” as it’s called around Tipper Gore’s house.
The 80s really were a special time.
No one is forcing me to listen to it. But I get the appeal of the genre. And as a Canadian, I’m supposed to take pride in Drake’s accomplishments, because he went to the States & made it big. But since I’m not from “The Six” & I don’t listen to the genre, I also – Mr. Cutler?
Now add in the majesty of the Canadian sports media FILLING the public airwaves with assertions that all Canadians deeply care about the Raptors and their playoff run. Every sportscast is fifteen straight minutes of the Raptors, Drake & their (other, plebeian) fans. My passive disinterest has been turned into actual hate.
I am now openly hoping the Raptors somehow lose out & don’t make the finals. If that makes me a bad Canadian, then so be it. I’m already rooting for the Bruins – how much worse can it get?
Tonight’s sports:
- NBA: Game 6 – Raptors up 3-2
- Bucks at Raptors – 8:30PM | TNT / Sportsnet
- MLB:
- 7:00PM | FOX – Geography determines your game:
- Red Sox at Astros
- Atlanta at St. Louis
- Dodgers at Pirates
- 7:00PM | FOX – Geography determines your game:
- Futbol:
- MLS:
- Whitecaps FC vs. FC Dallas – 7:00PM | TSN
- Colorado vs. Columbus – 9:00PM | TSN
- MLS:
- Australian Rules Football:
- Melbourne vs. GWS – 11:00PM | TSN2
- Fights:
- PBC Fight Night: Trout-Gausha (super welterweights)
- Prelims – 7:00PM | FS1
- Main card – 8:00PM | FS1
- Top Rank Boxing on ESPN:
- Main Event: Ito-Herring (super featherweights) – 10:00PM | ESPN / TSN5
- PBC Fight Night: Trout-Gausha (super welterweights)
Just two more days until Game 1 of the Cup Final. Mr. Scott?
***
BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE!
This is your friendly neighborhood Balls of Steel here reminding you that if you wake up super early tomorrow morning, you can catch the beginning of the Greatest Day In Motor Sports: The Monaco Grand Prix!
BeerGuyRob is, in his words, oot and aboot, so he asked me to write a little bit about the race.
If you’ve been watching any F1 this year, you know that Ferrari has, in British terms, lost the plot and that every other team is chasing Mercedes for a place on the podium.
Valtteri Bottas and Lewis Hamilton have swapped first and second in every race this year and the only real intrigue this season has been whether Bottas will be allowed to win the championship this year ahead of his teammate.
For Monaco, Hamilton has the pole and Bottas lines up right next to him. The race may come down to a drag race to see who is ahead at the first turn.
FWIW, my sentimental choice to win the race is Daniel Riccardo because he’s Australian, hilarious, and a dang good driver. Unfortunately, he’s stuck on bad teams with bad equipment.
So, won’t you join me after the last AFL game of the evening for the race?
You can do like I do and enjoy watching the crowd and playing the “which Countess/ Duchess takes it up the ass?” game!
Race (first lap) is over!
Best Monaco race in years.
Race time!
Just as suspected: TSN is nothing but wall-to-wall Raptors. Probably about 40-45 minutes out of 60.
So I was at a party tonight and the former Duchess LaCross was also in attendance. The one that broke me off via vague “I just don’t see us going to the next level” text message earlier this spring. Made some small talk, which was nice. But I was kinda hoping for some actual answers as to where I went off the rails with her, which never really came. I suppose I maybe should’ve asked the question, but I didn’t want to inadvertently cause a scene in an inappropriate venue. A couple months ago I laid out exactly how I felt to her and to be honest, I don’t ever think I’ve felt more vulnerable in my life. I’ve never really done that before. And I know it’s over for good and have known for weeks now, but I don’t know why I’m feeling extra bummed right now. Seeing her tonight brought a lot of feelings back that I thought I’d moved past.
I probably shouldn’t have gone tonight. I really thought she was some kinda unicorn.
Being civil and keeping your dignity (i.e., not making the needy questions), is part of the heartbreak rehab. Well done, man.
Thanks buddy.
I’m constantly filing away a future reference.
I’m declaring myself KING OF THE NORTH!
https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js
King of the North!
You know what’s underrated? Irish nachos.
They are definitely rated.
Time to eat shitty pizza, watch a movie, and forget all wimminz hate me.
Shitty pizza beats no pizza. Unless we’re talking about that gross-looking St. Louis style junk.
Bad Idea activewear
Wearing a target does seem regrettable in retrospect.
I did one of those things today.
Forgetting why women hate you is the best thing
Shitfuck. I had some ideas walking to the store and back and now I forgot them because I didn’t stop to write them down.
Can I get this order to go?
This is beautiful.
https://twitter.com/OwenJones84/status/1131964775381053440
.
.
.
We are soon to be very beef-centric for the next 48 hours.
I’m writing this down now because I probably won’t remember a goddamn thing.
That’s why I take food photos.
DRUNK ON BEEF.
*Queef.
So are you going to be doing Sunday Gravy the day of the L.A. pub crawl? I’m going to be there from Thursday to Tuesday is all.
Let’s figure this out.
I would be honored to host. Fuck yeah.
I’m going to be at the crawl and I’ll cook a proper Sunday Gravy for you.
Fuck yes. Got anything in mind?
Not really.
I’ll think about it some more.
Ohhhhhhhhh. BEEF!
Every once in awhile it’s important to remind the constituency how amazing Exile on Main Street is.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CvpMeq_4BPM
Look at the dick on that turkey!!
I DID NOT PUT MY DICK ON A TURKEY.
probably.
Well, not since last Thanksgiving, anyway.
STUFFING!!
Howdy neighbors!
Good to see you Moose.
How’s your garden doing?
It snow and was down to 30-degF this week, but the stuff survived. Next up; tomatoes.
I will put some mesh up this year so the hail storms won’t kill it…. maybe.
Stay diligent.
Critical hit.
RIGHT IN THE TIT!!
Good hustle, tWBS
I might watch that all night.
Well, I didn’t CROSS the road……
That is one fine looking cock.
The chicken ain’t bad neither.
Toronto is a great city to visit. I hate their centRe of the universe mentality that we up here get. I am happy they made the finals but they won’t win. They must not. Sweet Jesus that would be awful for all of Canada. They are portrayed as “Canada’s team” and it would be cool they won this title before a Stanley Cup because durrrr hockey.
Ontario people who have left that province are like expat Cowboy and Steeler fans combined. THEY. ARE. THE. WORST.
How are the strip joints, then?
Fucking superb.
Bullshit. All the best Canadian strippers are in Florida.
NOW YOU TELL ME???? I WAS JUST IN FLORIDA!!!!!!!
Listen, we import all of our strippers. The good ones are in Riyadh as the orb foretold.
The pants orb.
Also, the strippers expect $5 tips because you can’t put $1 and $2 coins in a garter. Fortunately, $5 is really only $2 American, but the real judo move is to put a US$1 bill in her garter and say “there ya go sweetie buy yourself some new mittens.” She’ll know you’re a Yank and a playa.
Orioles win. Holy shit.
That guy was already up there when I got here.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Rc1ko8mpIU
Maximum effort!
ENEMA, HELL! DAMN NEAR KILLED HIM!
Out walking around, it was a warm day. I think I like women.
Good, are you growing hair in strange places and getting a deeper voice? If so I have a Vanna White shoot for you.
Being as old as I am? Yeah; the ear hair sucks.
Seriously Moose, my barber ran the clippers around mine last week.
No, I was talking about ears……
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SxK9x0p8Nf4
h
ttp://66.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9nxq1qe2e1qjipi2o1_r2_500.gif
Just need to work of some of this alkeehol.
Thought I’s gettin’ some pussy, miscalculated.
Oh thank Christ Moose finally showed up.
(did I leave the stove on?)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xr3GY1pLeVw
Yeah, I’d like to interrogate a couple of ’em.