Your Anti-Toronto Saturday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

I’ve said it before – I’m not a basketball fan. I don’t “hate it”; I just don’t find watching a whole game enjoyable. I can handle a few minutes near the end of a half or game, but – even during the Madness – you’re going to be hard-pressed to make me sit through an entire half. Especially sober.

I’m also not a fan of most modern hip-hop, or “the rap music” as it’s called around Tipper Gore’s house.

  

    

The 80s really were a special time.

No one is forcing me to listen to it. But I get the appeal of the genre. And as a Canadian, I’m supposed to take pride in Drake’s accomplishments, because he went to the States & made it big. But since I’m not from “The Six” & I don’t listen to the genre, I also – Mr. Cutler?

Now add in the majesty of the Canadian sports media FILLING the public airwaves with assertions that all Canadians deeply care about the Raptors and their playoff run. Every sportscast is fifteen straight minutes of the Raptors, Drake & their (other, plebeian) fans. My passive disinterest has been turned into actual hate.

I am now openly hoping the Raptors somehow lose out & don’t make the finals. If that makes me a bad Canadian, then so be it. I’m already rooting for the Bruins – how much worse can it get?


Tonight’s sports:

  • NBA: Game 6 – Raptors up 3-2
    • Bucks at Raptors – 8:30PM | TNT / Sportsnet
  • MLB:
    • 7:00PM | FOX – Geography determines your game:
      • Red Sox at Astros
      • Atlanta at St. Louis
      • Dodgers at Pirates
  • Futbol:
    • MLS:
      • Whitecaps FC vs. FC Dallas – 7:00PM | TSN
      • Colorado vs. Columbus – 9:00PM | TSN
  • Australian Rules Football:
    • Melbourne vs. GWS – 11:00PM | TSN2
  • Fights:
    • PBC Fight Night: Trout-Gausha (super welterweights)
      • Prelims – 7:00PM | FS1
      • Main card – 8:00PM | FS1
    • Top Rank Boxing on ESPN:
      • Main Event: Ito-Herring (super featherweights) – 10:00PM | ESPN / TSN5

Just two more days until Game 1 of the Cup Final. Mr. Scott?

***

BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE!

This is your friendly neighborhood Balls of Steel here reminding you that if you wake up super early tomorrow morning,  you can catch the beginning of the Greatest Day In Motor Sports: The Monaco Grand Prix!

BeerGuyRob is, in his words,  oot and aboot, so he asked me to write a little bit about the race.

If you’ve been watching any F1 this year,  you know that Ferrari has,  in British terms,  lost the plot and that every other team is chasing Mercedes for a place on the podium.

Valtteri Bottas and Lewis Hamilton have swapped first and second in every race this year and the only real intrigue this season has been whether Bottas will be allowed to win the championship this year ahead of his teammate.

For Monaco,  Hamilton has the pole and Bottas lines up right next to him.  The race may come down to a drag race to see who is ahead at the first turn.

FWIW, my sentimental choice to win the race is Daniel Riccardo because he’s Australian,  hilarious,  and a dang good driver.  Unfortunately,  he’s stuck on bad teams with bad equipment.

So, won’t you join me after the last AFL game of the evening for the race?

You can do like I do and enjoy watching the crowd and playing the “which Countess/ Duchess takes it up the ass?” game!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Please Login to comment
87 Comment threads
133 Thread replies
0 Followers
 
Most reacted comment
Hottest comment thread
25 Comment authors
Col. Duke LaCrossballsofsteelandfuryDon TscotchnautMoose -The End Is Well Nigh Recent comment authors
  Subscribe  
Notify of
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Nude and drunk, home from the bar?

YOU ARE FUCKING DISGUSTING!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Oh…. wait…… sorry……

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Porky Prime
Porky Prime

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Porky; you Prime motherfucker! Hope it is going well, considering the world is burning.

theeWeeBabySeamus

How is this game only just finishing the 7th inning?

COME ON COLORADO YOU GOT LEGAL WEED LETS GET ALONG WITH THIS!!!!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

Not sure they’re twins, but close enough.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

“Close enough” is also what tWBS says after they let him know they didn’t finish

ballsofsteelandfury

Melbourne is lucky that GWS can’t hit the side of a barn.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

NO SPOILERS

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Bill Kristol signing a tweet #NeverBernie is one of the greatest endorsements he could’ve received.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Dude.

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

That’s just like, your opinion….man.

Senor Weaselo

Go Warriors. I’d root for Boston over Drake.
/Except the Red Sox of course

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

What kind of New Yorker are you? I’d root for a real drake to burn down this city before rooting for anything related to Boston.

Senor Weaselo

I saw Drake in ‘09 at my college right before he got big. I still don’t know how he did because I thought he sucked. And any time I listen to him it continues to be confirmed. HOTLINE BLING DOESN’T HAVE ANY VERSES.
/Also thanks to being attacked by geese when I was a lad I despise most waterfowl

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Geese are assholes.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Orioles gonna blow this.
Time for bed.

theeWeeBabySeamus

comment image

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Fuck Toronto. But I’m happy for that weirdo Kawhi.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Sadly, not a twin.
comment image

Porky Prime
Porky Prime

I’ll allow it.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’ve got a coupla twins for her.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Chromosome joke?

theeWeeBabySeamus

No

Porky Prime
Porky Prime

My son is probably a tad too young to watch Gumball, but I can’t deny that shit’s pretty funny.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

It’s like looking into a mirror.

comment image

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I mean I totally would love to see Brett Kavanaugh explain how $10 million just happened to show up in his bank account.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

If only there were people who had the power to compel that information and to demand he answer under oath.

`¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

comment image

Redshirt

You know when I read that Joker was in the latest Super Smash Bros., I was expecting someone slightly different than who they had.

Senor Weaselo

Super Smash Bros. with Mortal Kombat. Because we’ve always wanted to see Scorpion hit Mario with his “GET OVER HERE” spear.

rockingdog
rockingdog

yooooo padres get the W!!!
soooo many runs!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

3 run shot, Os go up 7-4.

Can’t believe that ball got out. I would not want to be a pitcher in Denver.

theeWeeBabySeamus

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

Orioles tie it up 4-4.
Moar twins…..
comment image

Wakezilla

ESPN says Drake is the biggest celebrity antagonist that ever existed as if Spike Lee was never born.

PS: tWBS, you’re killing it tonight. Fantastic hustle

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m half drunk. Soon to be more than half probably.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Moose will show up and relieve me soon. I hope.

Senor Weaselo

At least Spike’s actually made something of quality.

theeWeeBabySeamus

comment image

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

They seem nice.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I bet they smell nice too.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Andrew Cashner apparently wants a no trade clause.
WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU NOT WANT TO BE TRADED OUT OF BALTIMORE??????

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

He suffered brain damage from bad crabs?

theeWeeBabySeamus

There’s ointment for that.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ah shit, the Orioles gon’ Oriole.
4-3 Rockies.
Moar twins….
comment image

King Hippo

YAY, #BFIB stay over .500 after all.

Redshirt

Yeah, I noticed that during the Reds game. Hand to God, I don’t remember a time where the Cardinals were below .500.

King Hippo

I think 2004 or so was the last sub-.500 finish

theeWeeBabySeamus

Nunez jacks one. And by jacks one I mean….
Never mind…. 3-1 Orioles.

Redshirt

“Y’know… You can get rid of me. It’s so easy. But the sweet thing is, I’ll never really be gone, ‘cuz I’ve got good ideas. And the thing about good ideas, is they tend to kinda hang around, like a bad fart! Toodle-oos, doormats!”

Who said it, a Disney cartoon villain or Donald Trump?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Moar twins?
MOAR TWINS!!!!!!
comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

comment image

Redshirt

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

comment image

blaxabbath

My wife just did a grubhub pizza order for pick up and tipped on the app. Every single time I have pretipped in my life — Starbucks, online, etc — I’ve always ended up with a bad experience of something being wrong/late/burnt/rude/missing.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Yeah, because they already have your money so the incentive to do their job is gone.

Redshirt

Usually when that happens (or if I get egregiously bad service) I make such a public scene that all customers going into the store turn around.

I personally cannot go to three restuarants near my home because they will spit into my food, and that is the best case scenario.

blaxabbath

I feel like it’s a ‘fuck you chump!’

theeWeeBabySeamus

That’s why I like Postmates in SoCal.
You don’t pay until you get teh food.

blaxabbath

PLUS I PICK IT UP!

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

comment image

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

THAT COUNTS AS YOUR MOVE!

King Hippo

the lab’s surely gon’ win now

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Not if Grey is playing 12-dimensional chess

theeWeeBabySeamus

Kitty 2: Move your Bishop.
Kitty 1: Leave me alone!!!!!
Doggy: Da fuq is wrong with you guys it’s just a fucking game.

ballsofsteelandfury

Ah, the famous side PAWn gambit! I know it well…

Porky Prime
Porky Prime

All change!
Don’t you know that when you
Play at this level
There’s no ordinary venue

Senor Weaselo

The Mystery of Chessboxing.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Cashner is just…he’s not…..he’s not good.

King Hippo

the muthafuckin’ TWINS are 35-16??

theeWeeBabySeamus

Twins….
comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

Come on Nunez, all you gotta do is make contact why are you swinging away?
There you go, as I’m typing you figured it out.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Rockies’ LF not good at hitting the cutoff.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Orioles 3rd base coach should be shot for not sending him.

King Hippo

not many punishments lower than working for the O’s

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ahem…..
That’s not an invalid point.

theeWeeBabySeamus

2-0 After first. Should be 4-0.

King Hippo

12-2, 12-4

same difference

theeWeeBabySeamus

Now you’re just being mean.

theeWeeBabySeamus

And as I type that, comebacker gloved by Rockies Pitcher.
Lucky fuck.

theeWeeBabySeamus

NC State Baseball gives up 8 runs over two innings.
Another shot at an ACC Championship lost.

grumble grumble

King Hippo

spared us from losing to U*NC

/was nae watching

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ahhhh…we took those assholes down on the road last weekend.
GT better not lose to them.

King Hippo

when it matters, you know what will happen

theeWeeBabySeamus

Two words…

Elliott. Avent.

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

The Dirt BOLTMEN took this open threads title to heart with a 19-4 win in the Skydome.

Franchise high 7 home run game. That’s, actually kind of sad in retrospect…

King Hippo

19 runs despite your DH being old #BFIB buddy “Handsome Greg” Garcia!

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I was ready to go full BOLTMAN on Andy Green this morning with that lineup. Seemed like the most dartboard he has ever been, which is saying a lot. Clearly it worked out though, soooo…

King Hippo

el beisbol es cray-cray like that

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Well, the church didn’t catch fire while I was in there, but the night is still young

King Hippo

did they make you sit inside some lead shielding? 😀

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

theeWeeBabySeamus

No comment.

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

No apologies

theeWeeBabySeamus

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

WCS

Also, re: Monaco Gran Prix

theeWeeBabySeamus

LOL, the towel swans is important.

King Hippo

I’m just hear to mourn my #BFIB falling below .500.

TRUE #BFIB FACTS! We ain’t finished last in our division since 1990. Prior to that? 1918

theeWeeBabySeamus

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m done cooking. I’ve finished cleaning the kitchen.
Now you guys are gonna pay.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Just ate a metric shit-ton of blueberries, can you OD on those? I know what happens when you eat too many Booberries, but blueberries are a whole new world for me.

King Hippo

Kids in the Hall are from Toronto. It can’t be all bad. But Hippo has never been.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

As an American, I will join in your hate of Toronto, although I’m not really sure where it is. I always thought it was in Ohio or one of those places, but this post makes me think it might be in Canada somewhere. Anyway, fuck them.

WCS

Monaco, Indy, and the 600 used to be “Leave WCS The Fuck Alone Day.” Monaco is still kinda fun, but, Mercedes (most likely Hamilton) will win by 25 seconds. Indy is always Indy, so I’ll have that on in the background.

As for NASCAR? Brian France can die of gonorrhea and rot in Hell. He makes Goodell look absolutely brilliant by comparison.

King Hippo

all driving in a circle is still, at the end of the day, driving in a fucking circle

/that said, am presently watching el beisbol, who am I to talk…

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

comment image

King Hippo

If you like Drake, it’s at least 90% likely you are, or will be, a stripper.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That or you’re a privateer.
comment image

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

theeWeeBabySeamus

This guy gets it.