Your “Ugh – Toronto” Monday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

The Toronto Fire of 1904

NFL News: it’s quiet in advance of some minicamps opening Tuesday

  • Cam Newton has been cleared to start throwing at the Panthers minicamp which begins Tuesday.
    • Newton said in February that the shoulder was so sore before the Panthers shut him down the final two games that he couldn’t throw more than 30 yards.
  • Mike Sherman’s spiralling pattern of failure continues apace with news he has been relieved of his Montreal Alouette coaching duties.
    • With Johnny Manziel gone, there didn’t seem to be a need to retain a 5-13 head coach.
    • Long time CFL mainstay Khari Jones has been named interim coach.
  • On the subject of failures, Johnny Fucking Football seems interested in playing for the Houston XFL franchise.
    • Because it’ll be close to home, and will allow him to play with former enabler coach June Jones.

Personal aside:

Begging your pardon for my sudden absence last week. Some family matters came up. They are currently stable, and hopefully the person in question is back to normal soon. Thanks to everyone for their kind thoughts.

On another front, one of my dear friends lost his uncle a couple of weeks back and they had the Canadian memorial for him over the weekend. His name was Thierry Freyvogel, and he was without a doubt a badass in his field.

Seen here playing with his snake.

A noted herpetologist, Thierry worked for the Swiss Tropical and Public Health Institute & the World Health Organization, specializing in antivenin research and non-infectious disease transmission. He traveled & worked in Africa, primarily Tanzania from 1955-58, trying to develop research on environmental health and on the epidemiology of non-infectious diseases, genetic epidemiology and gender, and establishing a WHO research field laboratory. This (silent) video of him working with a village to acquire & milk snakes is typical of his work in the field.

He also worked with leading doctors in the country and at the WHO to help develop cheaply accessible serums to counter toxic snake, mosquito & tick bites. In fact, he co-wrote a chapter in the leading study on poisonous bites

Chapter 15 – Biology & Distribution of Ticks of Medical Importance

and pioneered identifying the many & varied things smaller than a lion that could bite & kill you in East Africa.

Back in Switzerland, he was head of the University of Basel’s Biology department from 1966-85. I first met him there in 1987, and one of my favourite, confirmed stories he told us was about the time he got bit in the lab by a Black Mamba. He told us how he got bit on the forearm, and – knowing he had only 15 minutes to get upstairs to the antivenin – calmly grabbed the snake by the head while in his arm and proceeded to walk to the elevator. He got onto a crowded elevator, asked someone to push for a particular floor, and calmly made his way to the medical facility to receive his dose. When we asked why he didn’t simply kill it & run upstairs, he said to panic would have caused the venom to spread quicker, and he needed the snake alive because they had no other specimens.

Dude was hard core. Au revoir, oncle Thierry.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NBA:
    • Warriors at Raptors – 9:00PM | ABC / CTV (US broadcast) / Sportsnet (Canadian broadcast)
      • Kevin Durant is scheduled to start for the Warriors.
      • If the Raptors win, that city is going to burn.
        • Cabbagetown is going to become The Big Smoke once again.
  • NCAA Baseball Tournament:
    • Game 3: Stanford at Mississippi State – 7:00PM | ESPN2
    • Game 3: Florida State at LSU – 8:30PM | ESPN
  • WWE:
    • Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
      • a followup to the Saudi debacle from last Friday

Enjoy the evening. It’s good to be back.

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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UnsurprisedALXMACyeah rightBrettFavresColonoscopyMoose -The End Is Well Nigh Recent comment authors
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ALXMAC
ALXMAC

“In memoriam” and “cancer sucks”

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Winrar

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Porky Prime
Porky Prime

So the Toronto Raptors played a Toronto Raptors playoff game finally?

Kawhi got way too unselfish at the end. Hero ball that shit to the hole, draw a shooting foul. And if GS comes back from the dead, it was Lowry’s stupid extra pass that was patient zero. Follow through, throw a fucking floater up there.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Porky Prime
Porky Prime

This guy gets it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

His sheep certainly does.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Dunstan
Dunstan

Don’t worry, Toronto. I’m sure that loss won’t haunt your fan base for decades. Probably not.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Field scientists! Great share. My uncle who is an entomologist and spent his life trying to kill mosquitoes for the gob’mint was cool, even. He died on his back with his arms and legs curled up.

Would have accepted volcanologist.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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SonOfSpam

God bless that crazy science-drawing man.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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SonOfSpam

So great.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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SonOfSpam

Did any of you guys hit a homer in the D’Backs-Phillies game? Everyone else did.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

MILF’d to third base.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Belichik is vacationing in Phoenix?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

And…Toronto closes out the game by scoring two points (on a goaltending call) in the last three minutes.

SonOfSpam

Impolite to score more than that, eh?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Still better scoring than tWBS.

yeah right

In internet terms the Raptors done goofed.

Gratliff

So begins the longest two minutes of 2019

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

So uh, Kawhi Leonard isn’t human

SonOfSpam

He’s 60%. Close.

– The South

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Gratliff

We all agree that the Raptors winning voids the season, correct?

nomonkeyfun

I first read that as “a Canadian memorial” and was trying to figure out what would be involved. All I could come up with was serving fries with poutine and maple syrup while everyone wears jean jackets and black socks with sandals.

WCS

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Big deal, I milk big snakes all the time, I call it a Tuesday.
–Buddy Cole, probably

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

For as many stupid mistakes as the Warriors are making, their otherwise ridiculous talent is keeping them completely in this game.

ballsofsteelandfury

Awesome story about your friend’s uncle! I’m also glad to hear things are better on the other end. Glad to have you back!

SonOfSpam

3 Things:

1) Hi.
2) Thanks for the BeerGuyRelative update and the snake guy story. Dude was a badass.
3) Still recovering from DFOCrawl; not the drinking, but the panic of almost making Low Commander miss his train. Don’t wanna get on the wrong side of BOLTMAN’S minions.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Be that as it may, your wife sounds like she would give the Charged One a run for his unending river of souls.

SonOfSpam

I may exaggerate things a bit, but then I would not bet against her.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Plus that thing she does with her tongue.

SonOfSpam

Thanks for subscribing!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It is always worth the $500.

yeah right

Having met Wife of Spam, it’s best to err on the side of caution.
She’s awesome.
I made tortilla soup for her!

Please don’t strike me down.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

If you haven’t read it yet, this is nausea/rage inducing:

http://nymag.com/intelligencer/amp/2019/06/wework-adam-neumann.html

SonOfSpam

This guy needs a beating, and not the good kind.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

In the Trump universe this doesn’t even cause a blip, not even an eye roll.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I wouldn’t expect any less from the founder of wework

Wakezilla

What a first quarter

theeWeeBabySeamus

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Senor Weaselo

Cut to shot of Drake singing “O Canada”
THIS IS WHY I AM ROOTING FOR THE OTHER TEAM.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

After the entire hockey season, today was the first day I heard so much as even a mention of the Bruins from our Mass based headquarters. This prompted me to ask everyone how many regular season games anyone watched.

“Well, I don’t watch ALL the regular season games.”

“Sure, but if you had to guess…”

[Silence]

I haaaaate bandwagon fans, therefore I hate Boston fans.

scotchnaut

Buddy, texting me: “Woo! You’re watching the Raps close this out tonight, right?”

Me: “Need sleep.”

Buddy: “You kidding me?”

Me: “Sleeeeeeep.”*

*if there was an app whereby I could vocalize this in the Frankenstein monster’s voice…

BrettFavresColonoscopy

That doesn’t sound foul enough to be Buddy Cole

yeah right

Putting on the Ritz!

Don T

What a badass. I bet Dr. Freyvogel could have wrangled my aunt in-law. Venom of choice: gossip.

herodotus450
herodotus450

It’s too bad we can’t swap the nba and nhl finals, so that Toronto was playing Boston and we could 100% justify just blowing up the area with both teams and fanbases inside. Then when St. Louis plays Golden State we could do the exact same thing, and four problems are solved!

King Hippo

yeah, the Spirits were kinda cool

scotchnaut

-Marvin Barnes, when told that his flight would take off at a certain time and arrive at an earlier time, due to time changes.

“Man, I ain’t getting in no time machine!”

King Hippo

one of my favourite Louis CK bits before…you know:

time travel is an exclusively white privilege

scotchnaut

“Whatever. I’ve had herpes way more times than that guy.”

-some silly shithead, sitting on his toilet

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This Thierry Freyvogel indeed does sound like a very accomplished man, but why the hell did he keep the antivenin on a DIFFERENT FLOOR?

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Kill off the weaker herpetologists, obviously.

scotchnaut

Obviously, he was one of Laurence J. Peters’ early hires. Hence the Principle and all that came after.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

After being stung by a bee as a child, I’m pretty positive my Mom whipped out that exact book and concluded I was fine and a total wuss.

scotchnaut

Mom Calls You A Wuss:

Forced to mow lawn with electric mower (after a rainfall) that had a frayed cable. After getting shocked and relaying it to mother, (maybe 11 years old) was called a ‘baby’ and forced to finish said chore.

theeWeeBabySeamus

My mom has never called me a wuss.
But she has called me an asshole a handful of times. And was right, of course.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I got bit in the mouth by a dog when I was a kid; bleeding all over. My mom says; “You can’t be hurt very bad with all the god damn noise you are making.”

scotchnaut

Aaron Rodgers has also been cleared for throwing.*

*shade at his family

King Hippo

also, Dear Lesser Footy Gods, Hippo could really use HT and FT wins by Chapecoesne As Fuck tonight

Senor Weaselo

Hey, good for them!

King Hippo

that black mamba story is gonna haunt mah dreams all summer 😀